Tristan's Redemption

by Blackburn, Candace

  “I would love to have dinner with you.” Her voice cracked and Abby clasped her fingers together so Tristan wouldn’t see them shaking.

  His eyes brightened. “You would?”

  “Yes.” Abby shocked herself with this admission. She really did want to go out...on a date...with Tristan.

  He took a step closer. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

  Oh God. “N-no. No, I’m not.”

  “I can pick you up at six thirty, if that’s okay?”

  “That sounds great.”

  For a moment, Abby thought his eyes looked haunted again, but then he smiled brightly. “Great! I’ll see you then!” He walked around to his car and Abby sat down in hers.

  So many things were going through her mind. A few weeks ago, she never would have envisioned herself going on a date. She turned the key, and watched the display panel light up, wondering if his attentions were doing the same thing for her. Her moods were so dark after David died, could going out with Tristan be the right step to bringing light back to her life? Then she thought about how his eyes looked after she agreed to the time. He had recently lost someone, too. Would this be moving too fast for him, even though he was the one who’d initiated the date?

  A knock on the window shook her from her thoughts and Abby yelped.

  Tristan looked repentant, mouthed sorry and made a circular motion with his finger for her to roll down the window. “I’m usually not so scary, yet I’ve managed to frighten you twice tonight.”

  If you only knew. “I’ve actually been deep in thought both times, so it’s really my fault.”

  He brows narrowed. “What are you thinking about?”

  You. “Our date, actually.”

  “Oh.” His facial features relaxed. “Me too, but I forgot to get your address.

  She had no paper, so wrote her address down on the back of a grocery receipt.

  Tristan took the paper from her outstretched hand and his fingers lingered over hers a second longer than necessary. “Thank you. I’ll see you at six thirty, now that I know where to find you.”

  “Sounds good.” She tapped the steering wheel nervously as he walked back to his car.

  She drove home, knowing that there was no way she would get any sleep tonight.

  ~

  Tristan was conflicted as he put the Aston Martin in gear. Abby was never one to hide her emotions well and he always loved that about her. There other women he dated would play coy or expect him to read their mind, but Abby’s eyes gave her away. Tonight, he saw desire. She turned in her chair so she could watch him as they talked. She didn’t move when his leg touched hers.

  Abby accepted the date.

  Tristan should have been the happiest man on the planet. He had defied death—literally—for this opportunity. And come hell, high water or alien invasion, he would take Abby out tomorrow night. But he felt niggles of pain at everything that happened. Her smiles, the way she didn’t shy away from his touch, the way she’d said yes so damned easily.

  He was so confused, he almost left without getting her address. That was for her benefit, of course. How could he logically explain that he could make the drive to her house from anywhere in Atlanta, blindfolded?

  His knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he turned onto the street. What the hell is wrong with me? This is everything I wanted.

  Yet, it hurt.

  Pressing the gas pedal a little harder, he headed home. There was an angel he needed to talk to...now.

  Chapter Eight

  Ehron watched Tristan pace and waited for the man to verbalize his thoughts.

  Tristan stared off in the distance as he walked. “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I get to see Abby but I can’t touch her. Well, I can touch her but not like in my memories. I have to listen as she talks to me about the husband she lost, when I want nothing more than to fall to my knees and apologize to her, beg her to forgive me for the profound stupidity that resulted in my indiscretion.”

  “David’s indiscretion and you can’t do that.”

  “I know. It’s against the rules.”

  “Exactly.” Ehron walked closer and stood in front of Tristan. “Look, I get it. You want her to fall in love with you so that you can stay here with her, but you don’t want her to stop loving David.”

  “You hit the nail on the head.” He exhaled a ragged breath.

  “And you’re troubled, seeing the way her eyes light up when you walk into a room.”

  Tristan nodded. His shoulders were slumped and strands of hair were disheveled from nervously running his fingers through it.

  “She smiles at you the very same way she smiled at David in the beginning of their relationship.

  “Yes.”

  “So, you’re basically, slightly, jealous of yourself.”

  Tristan looked up and nodded. “I am. I truly am.”

  “These aren’t conventional circumstances, so cut yourself some slack.” He put his hand on Tristan’s shoulder. “The end result of all of this is you spending the rest of your happily ever after with the woman you love. For that to happen, she has to love you. She will be happy. Isn’t Abby’s happiness the important part?”

  “It’s all that’s ever mattered to me.” Except for that last day, but there was no need to bring that up.

  “Then make your girl happy, starting tomorrow night. In the meantime, go up to that ridiculously-large closet and pick out something to wear. “

  Tristan walked toward the stairs but stopped. He turned toward Ehron, his expression sad.

  “I don’t want her love to fade.” He exhaled and held up a hand. “You have done your best to reassure me, but the fear is still there. I know she has to fall in love with the man I am now, but until I die my very last death, I will remember the way her body shook under me as I gave Abby her very first orgasm. The way her eyes lit up the first time I told her that I loved her. The way that her father had to hold her arm to keep her from running down the aisle to get to me. Those memories will be with me as long as I draw breath, no matter what body I’m in. I’m scared it will fade”.

  “Never. She is going to see David every time she looks at the baby. She will have the memories of their time together. But it is up to you,” Ehron accentuated this by pointing. “to create new memories. Ones that aren’t tainted. This isn’t an easy road, Tristan.”

  The laugh was without humor. “No kidding. Beware of angels bearing gifts, huh?”

  “Something like that. Although a chance for a do-over with Abby could be quite the gift.”

  “I know.”

  Ehron joined Tristan as he climbed the stairs. “Any suggestions?”

  “She’s craving Chinese and she’s clumsy right now, so plan accordingly.”

  Tristan frowned in confusion. “Whatever you say.”

  ~

  Tristan stood at his window and stared off in the distance. When he’d lived another life, as another man, Abby had been his balm. If David couldn’t sleep, Abby would calm him enough so he could close his eyes. Now, he didn’t have that option, and Tristan couldn’t clear his mind enough to even consider getting into bed. There was so much riding on tomorrow night and his hands were basically tied.

  He couldn’t show up with plans to take Abby to her favorite places, because Tristan wouldn’t know what they were. He couldn’t take her to their favorite sushi restaurant, hidden just off the Georgia Tech campus, because nobody knew about that place except Bulldogs who’d pulled an all-nighter. Tristan was Harvard educated so he wouldn’t fall into that category. He’d Googled himself when he first returned to Atlanta. He’d even watched a couple of YouTube videos. Tristan Ramirez, corporate mogul, was an articulate speaker who oozed confidence and radiated intelligence. Yet, he had doubts that he’d be able to form a coherent sentence tomorrow night.

  Ehron strode into the room. “Would it help if you could talk to Abby?”

  Tristan shrugged. “Yes, but it’s ten thirty. She’s probably asleep.�
��

  “No, she’s still awake.” Ehron took a deep breath and looked up. “I really shouldn’t be doing this, but would you like the opportunity to talk to her as David?”

  Tristan spun around, his chest pounding. What would I say? Would she look at me with the same pain she did before I died? “What? How can I do that?”

  “Dreams. Technically, there isn’t anything to prevent me from letting David visit Abby in her dreams. Do you want to talk to her?”

  “I would love to. But won’t that cause her pain?”

  “No more than she’s experienced since David’s death.” Ehron inclined his head. “You might consider this closure.”

  “One visit in a dream will provide closure?”

  “No. Not by a long shot. However, it will be a beginning.” Ehron rolled his shoulders around and sighed. “I want you to win, Tristan. I want you to get your girl and live a long life together. But Abby’s got to say goodbye to David first.” The angel shrugged. “This may help.”

  “But...but one dream?”

  “That’s all I can promise.”

  Ehron was the one who’d made all of this possible. He had watched after Abby when Tristan couldn’t. If this worked, she wouldn’t be letting go of David, only saying goodbye to the pain. He nodded his head and took a deep breath. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s do this.”

  Ehron pointed to the bed. “Get in. I’ll make sure you both go into REM sleep at the same time.”

  Tristan did as asked then stretched his legs out, and pulled the covers up to his waist.

  “Comfy?”

  “As much as possible, considering I’m scared half to death.” I’ll never get to sleep. “How will this happen?”

  “I’ll get you both together.”

  “But how? I’m not even sleepy.”

  Ehron snapped his fingers, and Tristan’s eyes closed and his breathing evened out. “Just like that, Tristan. Just like that.”

  Chapter Nine

  Abby’s phone was ringing as she walked in the door. Her mother wanted to take advantage of Abby enjoying food again and take her out to dinner tomorrow evening. Now, she was listening to her mother’s cautionary spiel. “Honey, you’re a wealthy widow. Are you sure this guy is on the up-and-up?”

  Abby rolled her eyes. Just because David had a life insurance policy, Diane Adams thought she was wealthy. After paying off the funeral expenses and the mortgage, Abby did have a sizeable nest egg left over, but there was no great wealth to speak of. “Pretty positive, Mom. I don’t think he’s profiled me. He lost his wife too. We just happened to be at the same support group.”

  “Right.” Abby heard her mom exhale and her next words were softer. “Okay, so he could be a supportive friend once you get to know him.”

  “Exactly.” She walked to her closet to see if she had any maternity dresses that would be date appropriate. “We’re going out to eat, that’s all.”

  “Are you sure that’s all, honey?”

  Abby huffed out an exasperated sigh. Her mother was suspicious over everything. “What are you suggesting?”

  “Abby, sweetheart, I’m simply saying that for the first time since David died, you answered the phone sounding happy. I don’t think this is as simple as a meal for you.”

  She took out her black wrap dress, and hung it on the back of her bathroom door. Abby liked the way flattered her curves. “Maybe not, Mom. I don’t know. But it’s got to be better than wallowing in self-pity.”

  Her mom sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad to see you happy again. So, call me after the date, and if you need me for anything, let me know.”

  “I will, Mom. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Abby.”

  She turned her phone off and tossed it on the bed, where it bounced and landed on David’s pillow. Abby stared at it with widened eyes then looked around the room, just to make sure she was alone. “You’re not trying to tell me something, are you, David?”

  Silence was her only answer, and Abby realized she was being ridiculous. Sometimes, though, it still seemed like he would walk through the door. She walked around to David’s pillow and ran her fingers affectionately over the material, memories flowing through her brain of the day they’d spent shopping for the bedding.

  They were at the fourth department store and Abby promised this would be the last, but she couldn’t make up her mind.

  “Abby,” David groaned, “if you make me feel one more damned comforter, I’m going to scream.”

  “Thread count,” she countered with a glare, “is important. Do you want to sleep on something that feels scratchy?”

  David picked up the set she had walked by three times and carried it up to the counter. Abby followed him, scrambling to keep up. “What are you doing? We didn’t make a final decision.”

  “I did.” He turned to her as the sales girl rang up their purchase. “Abigail Marie, I couldn’t care less what the comforter feels like, how many throw pillows we have, or whatever else we have been looking at all day. My main objective in our bedroom is spending as much time inside of you as possible and you’ve looked at this one,” he pointed to the set, “three times. I’m taking it so both of us will be happy.” The sales girl stared open-mouthed at David’s outburst, but he simply handed over his credit card. “Ma’am, if it won’t be any trouble, could you hurry up? My wife hasn’t killed me yet so I may stand a good chance of achieving my objective tonight.”

  Abby smiled, remembering the way that David helped her put clean linens on the bed that day and then made love to her most of the night. With a sigh, she picked up the phone and put it on the charger. She should have been sleepy, but instead was wide awake. She padded through the empty house, to the den, where she got her book off the coffee table, and curled up on the couch. She read no more than two pages before she yawned. She put the book down, rubbed her belly and closed her eyes.

  She found herself on her grandparents’ farm, sitting on the soft grass under the magnolia tree. The breeze was gentle, bringing the freshness of spring. Strands of her unbound hair blew about. Abby straightened her white sundress and smiled as she wriggled her toes in the grass. The sun was bright and she enjoyed the feeling. This was her happy place. The farm held so many happy memories and she looked forward to making new ones with the baby. Maybe this could be her son’s happy place too, even though David... Abby turned when she sensed someone approaching. David was just a few steps away. The sleeves on his white shirt were rolled up, his faded jeans were low on his hips and he was barefoot. His smile was the one he’d always reserved for her.

  “My beautiful girl, I’ve missed you so much.”

  She patted the soft grass. David sat, extending his legs in front of him. He was inches away and they didn’t touch. It was as if the alternate reality of dreams didn’t want to tempt Abby with what she couldn’t have anymore. Later, when she woke up, she would be grateful for that. But now, she wanted to feel her husband.

  “I miss you too.” Tears fell down her cheek and David wiped them away with his thumb. Abby gasped at the touch and David pulled away with a sad smile.

  “Don’t cry, Abby. We haven’t got very long together and we need to talk.” He looked down at her hand, the wedding ring gleaming in the sun. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

  “I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “Even though I hurt you? I will never forget the look—”

  Abby shook her head. “Don’t. If we don’t have very long, I don’t want to dwell on that. Why don’t you tell me what Heaven is like instead.”

  “I’m not there yet.”

  Her eyes widened. “But you are going, aren’t you?”

  He laughed and looked up. “I’m pretty sure I am. But for now, the closest I’ve had to Heaven is my life with you.” David turned toward Abby. “I am tortured by what I put you through.”

  “No.” Abby shook her head. “I don’t want you going through that. I’ll never understand how you could do what
you did, but I don’t want to think of you spending eternity wallowing in guilt.”

  “My angel.” Abby looked at his face, at the sadness tainting his dimpled grin. “You forgive too easily.”

  “I don’t know that I forgive you, yet. But I love you enough to not want you to hurt.”

  “It helps to know that I still have your love. That has been my biggest fear. You have my love for all eternity,” he placed his hand over his heart, “but I didn’t want your disappointment to be more powerful than what you felt for me.”

  Abby closed her hand over his. “If I didn’t love you so completely, the hurt wouldn’t be as bad. No matter how old I am, part of my heart will always belong to you. Eventually, the hurt will fade, but the love never will. Not when it was this strong between us.”

  “Oh, Abby.” For a brief moment, his lip trembled. “Thank you for that.” David closed his eyes, the beams of the sun shining brightly on his body. He sucked in a breath and rose to his knees. “You need to wake up. It’s a new day, and you’ve got a date to get ready for tonight.”

  She gasped, shock permeating through her body. “You know?”

  He nodded slowly, the frown lines between his eyebrows marked. “Yes.”

  “Are you okay with me dating?”

  “I won’t lie and say I’m happy about it. But he seems like a nice guy.”

  “He is. But I miss you.”

  David smiled and leaned over, brushed his lips softly across hers. “He is a good guy, Abby. And I don’t want you to be alone because I’m not there. Live your life.” He started to walk away.

  “David!” She stood as quickly as she could, not wanting to lose sight of him. “Will I see you again?”

  “I’m always with you, Abby. Whether it is through our son or your memories, I will be there.”