My Savage Heart (The MacQuaid Brothers)

by Christine Dorsey

  “Got me crying like a damn baby.” He scrubbed at his face with the back of his hands.

  “Logan, I know how you feel. Mary was—”

  “Shit, you don’t know anything.” Logan was back on his feet again. “She loved me. The woman who lives here told me that. Hell, they were some of her last words. Mary loved Logan.” He glanced toward the cracked jug with an expression of longing. “She loved me, and I left her to die.”

  “For God’s sake, Logan, this was not your fault.”

  “Wasn’t it?” Logan stumbled a step closer. “We both know why I left. I couldn’t stomach the old man. But did I stay around and try to right the wrongs he did?” He leaned toward Wolf. “Well, did I? Did I do what you did?” He stuck his index finger at Wolf’s chest.

  “Hell no. I ran off to fight the Indians, and left my pregnant wife to be slaughtered.” He sank back on the bed. “She loved me, and I didn’t love her.” His head shot up. “Does that shock you, little brother? Everybody loved Mary. You even did, if you’re honest with yourself. Everybody but her goddamn no good husband, who couldn’t even save her from being hacked up by a band of savages.” He reached for the jug, shaking it so that more rum sprayed from the crack, but smiling when he heard the swish of liquid. With a satisfied nod he brought it to his lips.

  “I think you’ve had enough of that.” Wolf’s hand stilled the jug’s upward tilt. “I want you to come to Charles Town with me.”

  Logan shrugged the support away. “On the contrary, brother. I haven’t had nearly enough.” He took a deep swallow. “But when I have, I’ll let you know.” He took another swig, backhanding the rum from his lips and glaring at Wolf from his sad, red-rimmed eyes. “And I’m not going running off with my tail tucked between my legs to Charles Town. I’m going looking for Cherokee. Then I’m going to do to them what they did to Mary and the baby.” His chiseled features grew hard. “Maybe if I kill enough of them, I’ll be able to live with myself.”

  “More likely you will get yourself killed.” Wolf grabbed Logan’s arm, hauling him up to his feet. “You are feeling sorry for yourself but—”

  “You’re damned right I am.” Swinging out, his actions slowed by drink, Logan missed landing a punch on Wolf’s nose by a good foot. He did accomplish breaking free of his brother, and he used the opportunity to rush toward the door.

  “Just leave me the hell alone,” he yelled over his shoulder before bursting through to the other room.

  Caroline looked up from her sewing, her eyes wide, when Wolf’s brother exploded through the door. He staggered, grabbing hold of the doorjamb to steady himself before lurching toward her. Then he swerved and reached for the door latch, pulling it open, allowing a gust of frosty air to blow into the cabin, before he stumbled out into the darkness.

  Wolf followed in his path, closing the door and turning to face Caroline. “You heard?”

  “How could I not?” Setting her needle aside, Caroline stood and moved toward Wolf. “What are you going to do?”

  His expression was unreadable. “I’m going to try and get you and your brother to Charles Town before war parties block the trail east.”

  “But... but what of your brother?”

  His eyes met hers then, and Caroline realized Wolf’s were nearly as sad as his brother’s. “There is nothing I can do, except hope and pray I don’t end up like him.”

  Twenty-one

  The citizens of Charles Town reveled in their ignorance. Confident that Governor Lyttleton had solved the Cherokee problem, they steadfastly ignored any word to the contrary. Caroline, Wolf, and Edward arrived in the capital city in mid-February, after a journey that left Caroline exhausted. They had traveled hard, finding evidence of Cherokee raids at Ninety-Six, but no farther east.

  “He won’t even listen,” Wolf told Caroline as he settled into the chair beside Edward. They were in the room at the inn that Wolf and her brother shared.

  Caroline stayed down the hall, by herself. But she was visiting Ned when Wolf returned from his audience with the governor. Actually, she purposely stayed here so she could hear what had occurred. Since leaving Fort Prince George, she couldn’t count on Wolf coming to tell her himself. He treated her like the widowed wife of his father, not the lover she was. The change left her bewildered. And determined to find out the reason.

  “Did you tell him of the attack at Seven Pines?” Caroline sank down on the stool by Wolf’s feet. When he glanced her way, she thought there was a spark in his dark eyes, a spark of the passion they’d shared. But it was quickly extinguished as he turned toward Edward.

  “He called that an isolated incident.”

  “What of Ninety-Six?” Caroline was determined that he look at her.

  “Lyttleton refuses to believe the Cherokee will do anything substantial. He talks as if they are children too frightened of the king to go to war.” Wolf leaned back and took a deep breath. He was not eager to relate this next information. He’d enlisted Edward’s reluctant cooperation. But in truth he didn’t think that would make things much easier.

  Wolf focused on the flames dancing in the grate. “I was able to book passage for you both. Your ship leaves—”

  “You did what?” Caroline stood, knocking the stool to the side and faced Wolf, hands on hips.

  He kept his voice firm. “Arranged for you to return to England.”

  “For me to—” Caroline was incensed. She’d come with him to Charles Town because Wolf had convinced her it was too dangerous on the frontier. But she’d never agreed to leave South Carolina, nor had he so much as mentioned it. “I don’t wish to return to England,” she said as simply as she could.

  “Now Caro it might be for the best. Raff assures me that with the money from your husband’s estate, you will be well provided for.”

  Caroline turned on her brother. “You two plotted this up together, didn’t you?”

  “Caro—”

  “Answer me, damnit!” Pale curls swung over her shoulder as she turned herself to face Wolf squarely.

  He didn’t flinch at her tone. “Do not blame your brother. It was my decision. Made with your well being in mind.”

  “My well being.” Caroline’s snort was unladylike. “If you were so concerned about my well being, why wasn’t I consulted?” Caroline grabbed her brother’s arm. With more strength than she knew she had, she propelled him toward the door. “Please leave! Wolf and I have some things to discuss... about our child.”

  Edward looked toward Raff and shrugged as Caroline opened the door. She slammed it, twisted the brass key and dropped it in her pocket.

  “That wasn’t a good idea.”

  Caroline turned slowly, trying to control her anger. “If you mean telling him about the baby, he’s known for some time. If you mean forcing him from the room, I think it high time we have a talk.” Head held erect and knees shaking, she walked across the room and sat on the edge of the winged chair facing his. He watched her step over his long legging-clad legs, but he didn’t pull them back.

  When she could stand the silence no longer, Caroline cleared her throat. “When did you decide to send me back to England? And don’t tell me ’twas a recent arrangement because I won’t believe you.”

  Wolf took a slow breath. “I have thought it best since you arrived in the New World.”

  “So that’s when you came to the conclusion that someday you would buy me passage to England?”

  “You were not my responsibility then.”

  “But I am now?”

  “Caroline, you don’t understand.”

  “Then explain it to me.” She leaned forward. “I thought—I thought we—” Caroline tried to summon back her anger but it was fast giving way to tears.

  “That we what? Would marry, raise our child?” I can see from your expression that you did.” Wolf let air out through his mouth. “Do you not understand that it would never work? That you are better off returning to England where you belong.”

  “And who made thi
s decision that I belong there?”

  “It is obvious.”

  “Not to me.” Caroline stood and paced to the window, lifting the linen curtain and looking out over the harbor. “I thought I adapted to the frontier fairly well.”

  “You did, but for God’s sake there is a war.”

  “And you’re Cherokee.” She turned back, her gaze locking with his.

  “Yes, and I am Cherokee.” After a moment, Wolf stood as well, but he knew better than to go near her. He’d held himself apart from her for a fortnight. It had been difficult, nearly impossible at times, but he’d done it because he knew it was what he had to do. “You are a widow, a beautiful widow. I have spoken with my father’s factor, and his estate is yours. You will not want for money. If you return to England, I am sure your life will—”

  “I’ll marry again, is that what you mean? Some respected Englishman? Is that what you want, Wolf?”

  “It would be best for you.”

  “I asked if ’twas what you wanted.”

  Time was measured by heartbeats as they each stood, their eyes locked. Wolf moved first, violently turning toward the mantle and pounding it with his fist. “It does not matter what I want.”

  Caroline let out her breath. Then, as calmly as she could, she walked toward him. “Answer me one question, truthfully if you would please. Do you love me?”

  His head shot around, and he skewered her with his dark stare, but said nothing.

  Caroline advanced a step closer. “When I came to the New World, I was afraid of nearly everything. You helped show me the strength and courage that lay within me. But now Wa`ya MacQuaid, I believe ’tis you who are afraid... afraid to say three little words.”

  Caroline watched his jaw clench and dared to move a little closer. And waited.

  “My feelings for you should be apparent, but they are not the issue.”

  When Caroline took another step, her body grazed his. She felt him stiffen and smiled to herself. “Say it Wolf.”

  “Caroline...”

  “Say it.”

  His chest expanded, brushing against her breasts. He closed his eyes, the long dark lashes fanning against his skin. When he opened them, his hand reached out to caress her cheek. “I do love you.”

  Her smile was slow and sweet. “Was that so difficult?” His arms folded around her, and Caroline leaned into his hard body.

  “What would be difficult,” his arms tightened, “probably more difficult than I could bear is if something happened to you. If I took you back to the frontier and...”

  “And the same fate befell me as did Mary?” she finished for him. Caroline felt his shattered breath and wove her arms about his narrow waist.

  “’Tis sad Wolf. But sadder still is the life they led. Mary loving her husband, knowing he didn’t love her. Your brother guilt-ridden because he couldn’t return her love.”

  Wolf lifted her chin with his thumb. “I will not take you back to Seven Pines.”

  “And I’d be foolish to go, wouldn’t I? At least right now.”

  “But I must go back.”

  “I know that.” Some of the joy drained from Caroline, but she took a deep breath and smiled, listening to his next words. He wouldn’t be the man he was, the man she loved and do any differently.

  “My people cannot win this war.” Wolf shook his head, his expression pained. “I cannot fight for either side. I can only try to help bring peace.”

  Standing on tiptoe, Caroline pressed a kiss to his mouth. Their bodies molded, cradling their child between them. “Then know this Wolf,” Caroline said against his lips. “I shall wait here for you... your son and I shall wait for the time when we can be together forever.”

  Epilogue

  May, 1762

  The South Carolina Frontier

  “It has been a long time.”

  Taking a deep breath of pine-scented air, Caroline tore her gaze from the sweep of greening valley below and focused on her husband. They had stopped where the river forked above Seven Pines to rest the horses. “I often wondered if we’d ever return.”

  Wolf’s arm draped about her shoulders, and he pulled her close. “I always hoped we could.” He smiled down at her. “But more than that, I longed for the day when we could live as one.” He rested his hand atop the curve of her stomach where another of their children grew, and he bent his lips to hers.

  But a tug on his leggings interrupted the kiss, and laughing, Wolf scooped up his precocious son. “Do you see down there, Kalanu?”

  Two-year-old Kalanu MacQuaid blinked up at his father with large, dark eyes and nodded.

  “We shall build a house for your mother and the new baby there. And a barn for the animals.”

  “Domino?” Kalanu pointed a chubby finger toward the black and white dog whose front paws dug frantically in the rich earth. The spaniel had been a gift from Edward when he returned to South Carolina from England. Edward had finished his schooling only to decide he wished to live in the colonies.

  “Yes, Domino can live in the barn.” Wolf slanted a look toward Caroline. “Though perhaps your mother will allow her to sleep in the house.”

  Caroline just shook her head and laughed. It was no secret she might fuss at the energetic puppy, but she cuddled Domino into her bed when Wolf was away.

  And he’d been away a lot over the last few years. As Wolf predicted, relations between the English and Cherokee deteriorated into all-out war. Hundreds on both sides were killed before a treaty was signed last September.

  The Cherokee suffered terribly. Most of the Lower Towns and many of the Middle Towns were destroyed. Many of the Indians who weren’t killed outright died of hunger and disease.

  And Wolf had worked tirelessly to help bring understanding to both sides. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until the Cherokee nation was on the brink of starvation that the war finally ended.

  Caroline had feared the destruction and killing would make Wolf a bitter man. But it hadn’t, and he credited Caroline’s love and understanding with keeping him sane during those trying times. When they were apart, just the memory of her passionate kiss, the gentle way she cared for their son, healed his heart.

  Last autumn was not the first time Wolf managed to visit Charles Town during the years of bloodshed—he rode for days to see her whenever he had the chance. But when he accompanied Attakullakulla, The Little Carpenter, to the colony’s capital, it was finally the visit he and Caroline had longed for.

  For it heralded the end of the war that kept them apart.

  Now they were on their way home. To Seven Pines, to start anew. Lyttleton’s replacement, Governor Bull had appointed Wolf a Commissioner of Indian Affairs for the Cherokee. He planned to take the position seriously, and in Caroline he knew there could be no better helpmate, lover, wife... no better woman for him.

  Wolf lifted Caroline carefully onto the saddle. She still wasn’t too fond of horses, though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone... not even her husband. But he knew anyway and always found a gentle mount for her. “Are you all right to continue?” he asked as she settled into the leather.

  “Yes, baby and I are fine.”

  Wolf patted her knee and mounted, then reached down for Kalanu. He settled his son in front of him, took up the reins of the packhorses and glanced over at Caroline.

  The afternoon sun caught the gold of her hair, and he marveled again that such a beautiful, delicate creature could be so strong. “Are you ready?” he asked, cocking his brow.

  “Oh, yes.”

  Kalanu squealed, Domino barked, and Wolf and Caroline started down into the valley and their life together.

  To My Readers

  I hope you enjoyed My Savage Heart. The story of Wolf MacQuaid and Lady Caroline Simmons has haunted me for years, and I was thrilled to give their love a “happy ending.” In telling this tale, I tried to stay as historically accurate as possible and to show both sides of the conflict between the English and Cherokee. But, as always, the characters and th
eir love are the main thrust of my books.

  My Savage Heart is the first of my trilogy about the heroic MacQuaid brothers. In My Seaswept Heart, we meet James MacQuaid. Yes, I know, you thought Robert’s oldest son was dead—hanged after he fought with Prince Charles, The Young Pretender, in his unsuccessful attempt to capture the English crown. But the devilishly handsome Jamie escaped the noose in Scotland. Now he’s a swashbuckling pirate, the scourge of the Caribbean. And he thinks he’s given up on lost causes.

  And then there’s Logan MacQuaid who you met in My Savage Heart. I just couldn’t deny such a tortured man the redemption of a good woman’s love. My Heavenly Heart gives Logan literally, the angel he needs.

  You can also read my Charleston Series, Blackstone Men of the Sea in e-book format. Sea Fires, Sea of Desire, and Sea of Temptation, all critically acclaimed, all bestselling books, all the perfect way to lose yourself in romance.

  For more information about my books go to www.christinedorsey.com. You can also follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

  To Happy Endings,

  Christine Dorsey

  Read on for an excerpt from Book 2 in the MacQuaid Brothers Trilogy, My Seaswept Heart.

  My Seaswept Heart

  Prologue

  London

  June 1746

  Trying to stanch the overwhelming fear was like keeping warm in the damp, vermin-infested dungeon.

  Impossible.

  James MacQuaid huddled knees to chest as shivers of cold and terror wracked his thin frame. He would fill out to become a brawny man, at least that’s what his stepmother had assured him. But she was wrong. There was no time left for the promise of broad shoulders and muscled arms to transform him.

  Within a fortnight he would be dead.

  Jamie let his head fall back against the moisture-bleeding stones of his cell. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. By now he was to be riding into London astride a mighty stallion amid joyous huzzahs and cheering multitudes. He would be a hero, adored by the masses for his help in restoring the rightful king to his throne.