Wanting It All: A Naked Men Novel

by Christi Barth

  His checkup had been yesterday. And yet, no booty call last night. No arranged date. Just a few texts over the course of the evening. What did that mean? Wondering that had kept Madison tossing and turning until far too late.

  Being furious with herself had awakened Madison far too early. It didn’t matter what other people thought, no matter how well meaning. Madison Abbott was funny and nurturing and pretty darned hot. Any man would be lucky to have her, especially Knox. This was her Grand Plan, and she’d stick to it. Period. If Madison didn’t have faith in their relationship, how could she expect Knox to commit to it? That renewed positive, can-do, will-marry attitude had carried her through the day pretty well. This call tonight proved her right.

  At the fourth floor, panting just a bit, she knocked on his door.

  Knox yelled, “If you’re the beautiful blonde I ordered, come right on in.”

  That boded well. Madison turned the glass knob and entered his suite for the first time. It was…stark. Modern. Cold. One black wall. Long black drapes that practically stretched all the way up to the twelve-foot ceiling. A white modular bookcase against the black wall, and a low black sofa that appeared unused next to the oversized black leather recliner. Round white lights that looked like Japanese lanterns were hung at alternating heights. Maybe it worked for a guy who stared at black-and-white code all day long. Madison just wanted to throw some bright red pillows about, maybe a blanket. The multistriped rug in gray, white, and black was the only other speck of comfort in the room.

  “Did I make it fast enough to deserve a tip?” she teased, closing the door behind her. Geez, Knox almost blended into the room with his black drawstring shorts and black hoodie. It was the most casual look she’d ever seen him in—if you didn’t count naked as a look.

  “I’ll give you a tip. I’ll tip you right over.” Sweeping her into his arms, Knox bent her backward over his knees and kissed her. Didn’t stop kissing her until they were both moaning. It was the most sexy they’d gotten in a week. And it was kind of like eating a single potato chip. It didn’t satisfy her craving. Just made her want lots and lots more.

  As he stood her back up, Madison gently stroked the side of his head. “Cleared for strenuous exercise, I take it?”

  “Yes. But feel free to take pity on my still-weakened state to climb on top later.” Knox turned and pointed at an open door through which she saw a big bed covered in acres of black satin. Of course. It honestly wouldn’t surprise her if he had a mirror mounted over it.

  “Duly noted.” She dropped her bag by the black and white marble fireplace and perched on the edge of the sofa. “What do you call this room we’re in right now?”

  Knox scratched behind his ear. “Our decorator called it a sitting room. Then we fired that decorator and started from scratch. Now I call it the decompression zone.”

  “That wouldn’t happen to be a play on Star Trek, would it?”

  “A woman who gets my obscure Trekkie references? How did I get so lucky?” Knox kissed her on the top of her head. But he didn’t sit down. Just sort of paced in an infinity shape around the chair, the coffee table that held only a laptop, and back around the sofa.

  Maybe his week of enforced rest had caught up to him and he had energy to burn? “You seem all wound up tonight,” she commented.

  Abruptly, he pushed his sleeves halfway up his forearms—muscled and covered in dark hair in a way that made her mouth water—and asked, “Did you have dinner?”

  “Knox, it’s nine-thirty. Of course I did.”

  “Sorry. I’m juggling a lot right now. Lost track of time.” He surged forward to a wet bar in the corner by the bedroom door. “Would you like a drink? Some wine?”

  “It’s nine-thirty. On a Tuesday. I’d better not.”

  “Right.” He pushed a wineglass back a little on the shelf.

  He was acting strange. Squirrely. Not the suave, smooth man who usually took charge so easily. Not that Madison would panic. Not that she’d even pay attention to the tightening in her stomach. Nope. Business as usual. Which meant getting down to business.

  “I assume, since you can have sex now, that this is a booty call. Did you want to have a quickie to take the pressure off and then go again? Or should I start a slow seduction?” She unbuttoned her top button. Before Madison could move to the next one, Knox leapt forward.

  “Jesus, no. Keep your shirt on.” With a clumsy fumble he rebuttoned the top of her pink cotton blouse.

  “Okay. But I have to say, I’ve noticed that you’re very much a boob guy. Won’t this be more fun if you at least see my sexy pink bra?”

  “Yes. That would be fun. Tonight’s not about fun.”

  God. He was breaking up with her. Madison clenched her teeth. No way was she going down without a fight. They were too darn right together to toss away after just a month. Was…was this about Lara’s twin? He’d laughed hard when he told her the story. Kissed her soundly and swore that she was better even than living out a twin fantasy. Claimed that her golden brown eyes were enough for him. “Like twin puddles of maple syrup,” he’d said. “Who wouldn’t want to linger over them?”

  “See, there’s where you’re wrong. We always manage to have fun together.”

  Before Madison could start making her multipoint presentation reminding him of all the fun they’d had, Knox sat down and took both her hands in his. “I need to be serious with you for a few minutes, okay?”

  “Um, what if I vote not okay?”

  His thumb traced the blue vein across the back of her hand. “I found your brother.”

  Joy shot through her like a bolt of sunshine. “Logan? He’s okay? Where is he? Does he know about me? How’d you find him?” The second she paused to gulp in a breath, Knox laughed and put a hand over her mouth.

  “Whoa. Slow down. He’s in Kazakhstan. Somewhere. Maybe near the border of Turkmenistan? The guy I talked to wasn’t really happy to get into details.”

  “But he’s safe?”

  “Safer than the people he’s been rescuing from a flood. No, he doesn’t know about you, unless he finally read your email. That’s your secret to share.” He flipped his wrist, checked his watch. “You can tell him any minute now.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “That’s why I texted you to come over. Yeah, we’ve been trying to get ahold of him, but going through the motions hadn’t worked. Last week you took such good care of me. I figured the best way to repay you would be to connect you with Logan. I spent all of yesterday—and when I say all, I mean straight through to almost dawn. There’s a ten-hour time difference.”

  “You shouldn’t be pulling an all-nighter with your concussion.”

  “I’m a big boy. And there’s a Starbucks on the bottom floor of my office building. Anyway, I set up a SAT call. The reception might not be stellar, but you’ll be able to talk to him. They should be calling here soon.”

  Madison did some quick math. “At seven-thirty their time? In the morning? Isn’t that early?”

  “Only way to be sure to find him, apparently, is to grab him before he heads off for the day. Logan’s not a morning person, so he might be grumpy. He doesn’t really talk a lot either. I mean, he can. He’s just not as chatty as, say, Josh.”

  “I feel like you’re trying to warn me about something.”

  “No. He’s my best friend. Greatest guy you’ll ever meet. Just that…meeting over a SAT phone might be weird. Hard. Less than optimal.”

  Nothing about being kept apart from him for twenty-four years was optimal. Madison had very low expectations. Simply talking to him would be the best present ever. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t wait. He’s my brother. I’m finally going to meet my brother!”

  Knox stood, crossed to the giant mirror over the fireplace, and touched it. The reflection of the room disappeared, replaced by a computer screen. On it was a photo of Logan and Knox with their arms slung around each other’s neck. Grinning like fools and dripping wet.

  “Since yo
u won’t be able to see him, I thought you might want to look at a picture, at least. While you’re talking. To have a focus. This was right after our first cliff dive in Mexico. Which was probably as scary and exhilarating as you feel right now.”

  Madison hungrily drank in the brown hair, brown eyes so like her own. “This is amazing.”

  “I’ll say hello first, and then pass the phone to you. When you’re done, just come get me in the bedroom.”

  “Oh, stay. Please? I want you to stay with me. After all, what could be private between your girlfriend and your best friend?”

  “Good. ’Cause I would’ve had my ear pressed up against the door.”

  “Liar. You totally have some listening gadget, Tech-Boy. Some microchip pen you would’ve strategically left on the table that beams the sound directly to an earpiece.”

  “How’d you know?” As they laughed, the phone rang. Knox set it on the table. He grabbed Madison’s hand, threaded his fingers through hers, and hit speaker.

  “Hey, Logan. It’s Knox.”

  “Your name’s gonna be dead meat. You had the fucking police come pick me up? What kind of pussy move is that?”

  The police? mouthed Madison. When Knox promised to bend over backward to track Logan down, she had never, ever envisioned an armed guard dragging him to a phone. It made her wonder how much money Knox had forked over in bribes to get this call to happen.

  “Drop a postcard once in a while, douche bag, and I wouldn’t have had to.”

  There was a crackle of static, and then a deep laugh boomed over the line. “God, I’ve missed you. Are all the guys there?”

  “Just me this time. The rest of them got tired of waiting for you to come home. They’re busy turning your room into a sauna/steam room/plunge pool deal. Listen hard and you might be able to hear the hammering of the cedar planks into the walls.”

  “I’m all for it if it comes with a towel girl in a bikini. Blond, brunette…I’m not picky.”

  He certainly sounded like the other ACSs. Gregarious. Funny. Madison liked Logan already.

  Knox looked over and raised his eyebrows in an Are you ready? motion. When she nodded, he said, “That’s the thing, Logan—I’ve got a blonde sitting next to me right now.”

  “You’re such a dog, Knox. Is she even dressed?”

  “Uh, yeah. This is awkward as hell, but this woman’s been wanting to meet you for a while, so…Logan Marsh, meet Madison Abbott.”

  Madison stared right into the dark eyes—much darker than hers—of her brother on the giant screen. “Hi, Logan.”

  “Hey.”

  If Knox had warned her about his plan for the evening, she would’ve written out bullet points to get through this. Practiced it, just like she’d practiced her thesis defense in grad school. Was she really supposed to wing a moment this important? “I don’t suppose you recognize my name? From an email I sent you a few weeks ago?”

  “No email. No phone either. I went through three before I gave up replacing them here.”

  “Oh.” It would’ve been easier had he read it. But this way, she got the excitement of telling him about their connection. “Well, the short version of the email is that your dad’s been keeping a secret for years. Twenty-four years, to be exact. I’m the secret. I’m your half-sister.”

  The response came swifter than she expected.

  “Bullshit.”

  Okay, surprise was natural. When her mom called with the news, Madison hadn’t exactly just accepted it, no questions asked. Of course, she’d been hungering for a sibling her entire life. That had made her probably more willing to accept the insta-family than Logan might be.

  “No, it’s true. I promise. Your father came looking for me back in May, for the very first time. Admitted that he’d never told either one of us about the other. I’ve never had a brother before.”

  Silence. Silence so much that there was nothing to concentrate on but the thudding of her heart.

  “Knox, you still there?” Logan finally asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “This isn’t something I can just take at face value. So do you believe this story? Or is it a money grab? Is there any proof?”

  That hurt. It hurt…a lot. But Madison shook it off. Except for Knox, she knew the ACSs all came from privileged backgrounds. Maybe Logan had swatted away a fortune hunter or two. And he was literally in another hemisphere. His caution made sense. It wasn’t aimed at her personally. Just at what she claimed to be.

  Knox didn’t look so sanguine. In fact, his face was now the hue of the imaginary pillows she’d wanted to get to spruce up the room. “Dude, she’s the real deal. Why do you think I practically had you arrested to make this call?”

  “What’s your name again?” Logan sounded huffy. But he probably hadn’t been able to pay attention very well, once the shock hit.

  “Madison. Madison Louise Abbott.” It was tempting to blurt out the rest of her vital stats. Hair and eye color. Not weight, obviously. But maybe blood type? That info had sure scored big with his father.

  “What do you do, Madison?”

  “I work at the Library of Congress.”

  “You live in D.C., too?” Shock, again.

  Better not admit that she’d semi-stalked him here. “Oh, I just moved here recently. I grew up in Alaska.”

  “That must’ve made it easy for him to keep us separate.” More static.

  Madison didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to proceed. She just knew that Logan wasn’t making this easy on her. And looking at him wasn’t making it any easier. Because the relaxed, smiling man in the photo posing with his blood brother was far from the man on the other end of the line barely making polite conversation with his actual sister. She dropped her gaze to Knox’s big hand, wrapped tight around hers. “How long have you been in Kazakhstan?”

  “Not long enough.”

  “If you’re going to be there a while longer, I could send you a care package. Maybe some homemade brownies, and gum…” What would he need in the harsh wilds of a foreign country? She’d read that peanut butter was hard to find in Europe. Was Kazakhstan close enough to Europe to be a peanut butter–free zone? But what if he had a peanut allergy? It’d be awful to wait almost a quarter of a century to meet him and then send him into anaphylactic shock from half a world away. Talk about making a bad first impression. “Another iPhone? To keep you up-to-date?”

  “I’m too busy rebuilding a village to waste time scrolling through videos of cats peeing into a toilet.”

  “I didn’t mean—”

  “Look, I’m sure the local militia doesn’t want me tying up their phone lines to chew the fat. Nice to meet you, Madison. Knox, you and I are gonna have one hell of a talk when I get back.”

  The line went dead.

  Chapter 19

  “I’m not going to cry,” Madison proclaimed fiercely. She tossed her hair back and looked at Knox as if daring him to suggest otherwise.

  “Of course not. You’re stronger than that.” Knox didn’t doubt for a second that Madison could hold herself together. On the other hand…“You know it’s okay if you want to, though.”

  “Right. You almost cut and run at the mere thought of having a girlfriend. Your eye still twitches, just a little, every time I call you my boyfriend. If I add tears into the mix, your head would probably explode.”

  All fair points—although Knox thought he’d been doing a decent job of hiding the twitch. It was involuntary. He couldn’t be blamed for it.

  What he could take credit for was sticking by Madison. A few tears wouldn’t scare off someone who truly cared for her. No matter how much they’d freak him out. And he did care. Knox wouldn’t get hung up on how much, or the implications of admitting it, or what the hell he was supposed to do about it. All that mattered was that in this very serious, very life-changing moment, he cared for her, and intended to take care of her.

  “Madison, I know that didn’t go how you planned. If you want to unleash the waterwork
s, I promise I won’t go anywhere. Except to the bathroom to grab you some tissues.”

  “Crying makes my throat hurt and stuffs me up. I’m already miserable enough.”

  “How can I help?”

  She looked up at him with glistening eyes that looked like pools of honeyed tea. And it absolutely drove a spear through his heart. “You know Logan. Can you explain what just happened?”

  Hell, no. Logan could be moody. But he wasn’t usually a complete prick. Especially not to a stranger. “I wish I could. But I don’t have a fucking clue why it went down like that.”

  “Why was he so mean? What have I done?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I hated being an only child. I guess I assumed he’d be excited about having a sibling. One old enough to not steal his toys or compete for attention. I didn’t expect him to love me right away. I did sort of expect him to like me, though.”

  Knox knew she was lying. Knew that Madison had expected him to instantly feel that brotherly connection and love her to bits. She gave away pieces of her heart so easily, so generously. It had to feel like Logan had jammed his fist right through that squishy heart of hers. And it made him want to jam his fist right into Logan.

  “You are the most likable person I know. You snagged a roommate after talking to Annabeth for all of five minutes. You charmed my entire office of antisocial geeks right into the palm of your hand. This isn’t about you.”

  “If I don’t know why it happened, how will I fix it? How will I get him to spend time with me, to get to know me, once he comes back?” Madison’s voice turned a little frantic. “I need a new plan. I can’t make a plan until I know what I messed up with the old one.”

  It was impossible to watch her being so brave, so strong, and yet so torn up inside. Knox couldn’t do it. Couldn’t take another minute of it. And he could only think of one way to make it stop. He stood. Scooped her up into his arms and strode into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Stood her next to the high bed.