An Earl's Wager: Regency Romance (Gentlemen and Brides)
Page 78
“I do the wrong thing all the time,” Haddie replied. “It’s part of being a parent. Besides, the main reason I wanted to marry again was to give Katherine the chance to have a father in her life. She is going to need one as she grows, for I would not be able to do a sufficient job of raising her on my own.”
He made a small noise of affirmation, and then he inclined his head.
“And as for you…” he said gently, looking at Haddie with a very peculiar expression. It was partially gentle, partially…something else. Adoration? Affection? “I know that I haven’t been the best husband I could have been. I should have kinder to you from the beginning, but you had just experienced such a great loss, a loss that I truly could understand. I assumed you would need a great deal of time to get past it. I know that I needed many months before I started to feel even somewhat like myself once more. You wanted to marry again and take your place at the side of another man so soon after your husband was gone. That was very brave.”
Haddie sighed. Her heart still hurt to think of those months.
“I knew what I had to do,” she replied. “And I made the right decision. I certainly felt as if I must be losing my mind when I chose to do so, but it seems this way worked out, don’t you think?”
She laughed, as she looked up at him.
“Surely, it is quite amusing that I married a man who is the uncle of my dear friend back home in Virginia? Now that I am learning more about you, the more I can see that you are related. Tender-hearted, intelligent, gentle…perhaps a bit stubborn. I suppose that is to be expected from a man who can run such a successful ranch.”
He laughed too, and they both hushed when Katherine rolled over in her bed.
“So where do we go from here?” Haddie asked when they were both confident that she had fallen back asleep.
“We should have breakfast, for starters,” Jack replied, and then he smiled. “Or perhaps lunch.”
“And then?” Haddie asked, smiling up at him.
“Then…I think we should keep trying to get to know one another. And not just as two strangers. It is time we start to understand one another as husband and wife. We can learn the things that make the other one happy and talk about what we can do to better our life here. We must also talk about the best way to care for Katherine, so she grows up happy and safe. Those sorts of things make marriages work, I suppose.”
“You really want to be Katherine’s father?” Haddie asked.
Jack nodded his head. “Of course I do, but I want to be your husband, too.”
Haddie smiled. “I really would like that. You know what, Jack?”
“What?” he asked.
“I believe that those we loved and lost would think that we were making a very wise choice. We have been brought together, two people who can understand one another better than anyone else in the whole world can. We are the only ones who can unlock the other’s heart. We need each other. We need the strength only the other can provide.”
Jack nodded his head. “I’ve thought the very same thing, time and time again. When I received the first letter from Sarah, I never expected to love again.” He smiled. “I believed the marriage would help me heal from the past, but you have given me so much more than I ever wanted. To be perfectly honest, you have made my life quite wonderful. The house is clean, and to be honest, I have never had so many good meals in my life. I look forward to coming home and seeing your beautiful face. You do so much to make our home cheerful, and I have never once thanked you.”
Haddie replied, “And I have never thanked you. You took us in, when you knew nothing about us. You have given us a beautiful home to live in and have been so wonderful as of late. You have given me more than I could have ever hoped for, Jack.”
“I never believed that love was going to be possible for me again, but now I know that we have been given something special. Haddie, these past few weeks, I have grown to love you, and after last night, I realize how much I also love Katherine. I want to be a family. I want to be a good father and husband.”
“You love me?” Haddie asked.
Jack looked down, seemingly embarrassed. “I do.”
“I love you too, Jack.”
He put his arm around her shoulders, and together, they watched Katherine sleeping soundly, the slow rise and fall of her chest like the beating of their owns hearts, becoming one.
Haddie knew that Adam would be pleased. Katherine would have a safe place to live. They would be fed, happy, and healthy. And more than anything, Haddie had someone who would love her deeply and fully.
She knew that Jack would always love Lily, just as she would always love Adam.
The love they shared was different. It wasn’t better, or worse. It was different, and that was all right. It would take time, effort, and dedication, and who would be better at it than two people who had already lost everything…just to be given one more chance at love.
THE END
Part II
The Escape
By Eleanor Swan
1
Pennsylvania, 1887
“I really wish you weren’t going through with this.”
The thunder clashed outside, making the windows in the small sitting room rattle. The rain pelted against the glass, snapping against it like little stones, and the wind rushed through the trees with an eerie sound.
Anne Welsh sat there with her sister, Katherine, the only light in the room coming from an iron candelabra on the side table. Even the light flickered, as if caught by the wind. Perhaps it was the draft coming through the small cracks in the corner of the room. Katherine’s husband, Phil, was waiting until spring to fix them.
While the two women shared the same bright green eyes, Anne’s dark hair was the opposite of Katherine’s golden locks, which gently moved as she shook her head.
Anne sipped her hot tea, her eyes staring at the floor.
“You know perfectly well why I accepted,” Anne said flatly.
Katherine made a sound of exasperation. “And I have told you—time and time again—that you are no burden to us.”
“I certainly am,” Anne said. “You have no room here for your growing family—and let us not fool ourselves that Phillip and I can ever see eye to eye.”
“But—” Katherine tried to say.
“And I cannot live beneath the roof of my sister for all eternity. It is my responsibility, as a woman, to find a husband and have my own home. Frank is as good as any man to marry.”
“But will you be happy?” Katherine asked desperately. “Phil and I may not have much, but at least we love one another. That is more valuable than gold any day.”
“Perhaps I will one day have the chance to feel that very same way, sister,” Anne said. “But until then, I must do what I think is right.”
“That Frank seems like a very cold man,” Katherine said.
Anne’s heart did a flip. Katherine was right.
“He is just shy, I assume,” Anne replied. “How could I expect him to show me his true colors through a letter, only? No, I expect that I will find him to be an amiable man once I meet him in person.”
“Couldn’t he come up here, so we can all meet him? And then you could make your decision?” Katherine asked, for what seemed like the tenth time.
Anne sighed. “I have already told you, Katherine. He works in one of the mines down in Texas. If he were to be gone for so long, he would lose his job.”
“He simply refused?” Katherine asked crossly, rolling her eyes. “Anne, I really have a bad feeling about all of this. What if he is some wretched, old man?”
Katherine’s words added to Anne’s fears.
It was true that Frank had not been very forthcoming with any sort of information about himself, so Anne did not have a very clear picture of his character. He had a home in Texas, with a little bit of land, and he worked in the mines. He was looking for a wife to maintain his home for him.
“Besides, if he is always gone, then I will have th
e whole house to myself,” Anne said as happily as possible, but even she knew it was forced. “It will just be me, and perhaps some chickens.”
Katherine didn’t laugh but instead sighed heavily.
“I wish you could have found a different sort of man in the Matrimonial News,” Katherine said sadly. “Isn’t there anything I can say to convince you to look once more?”
The idea was certainly tempting.
“I had written to more than one, if you remember, after placing my own advertisement, to which no one applied,” Anne said. “But only Frank wrote back.”
Katherine pursed her lips.
“I have nothing to offer a man. Frank must have decided to take me in out of the goodness of his heart. I don’t imagine most men want an uneducated girl from some unknown county in the middle of Pennsylvania.” She reached over and squeezed Katherine’s arm. “I will be fine, dear sister. You know that I know how to look after myself.”
“Yes, but I would rather you look after yourself here than in the company of some strange man.”
Anne received one more letter from Frank before making her long trek across the United States.
The letter was short and to the point. It poured more anxiety into Anne’s heart, but she told herself that she had already made her decision. She was going to go through with the marriage and see what happened from there.
I have attached my address below. Hire a carriage at the train station to take you here. I likely will not be home when you arrive. We will work out sleeping arrangements when you arrive.
Frank
So, he was not going to take a moment from his life to greet her at the station? Nor would he be at the house?
She crumpled up the letter and tossed it into one of her bags, wishing she could toss it into the fire.
Maybe Katherine was right. Maybe she was making a mistake.
The train station was crowded the morning she arrived, and everyone was soaked through due to the barrage from the thunderstorm outside. Children cried, families called to one another, and the steam train’s whistle pierced through it all, making Anne want to cover her ears.
She insisted that she go to the station alone. She didn’t think she could bear Katherine crying anymore, as she had done all morning. She knew that Katherine would convince her turn back and stay, and her own tears had just dried.
Phil had curtly let her off, saying only the vaguest of well wishes. She was not unhappy to be getting out from under his scrutinizing eye.
She was about to spend two and a half weeks on a train that somehow had to fit everyone in the station.
Anne knew she was going to be in for an uncomfortable ride.
After she had boarded the train, she found an empty seat in the sleeper car and gratefully sank down into the seat.
Quietness greeted her for the first time in days.
She couldn’t remember the last time that she had been alone. She was often shadowed by one of Katherine’s two children, both of whom were under the age of five. They wanted constant attention, and while Anne loved them, she grew tired of them quickly.
She was ashamed to admit that they were part of the reason she was ready to leave her sister’s house.
Although she started out alone in the sleeper car, she wasn’t alone for long. Some other passengers entered the car and took their seats. Anne watched them all curiously and suddenly felt far too underdressed. Her dress was shabby compared to some of the women walking by and so she turned her head to stare out of the window instead of engaging in pleasantries.
“Excuse me,” came the voice of a woman some time later.
Anne turned to look up at her.
“I am sorry, but is this seat taken?” she asked, pointing to the one near Anne.
“I don’t believe it is,” Anne said, and then she returned her gaze out the window. Most of the station was empty by that point, the passengers likely having filed onto the train.
“Oh, good,” the woman said brightly. She had bouncing red curls and a freckled face. She was rather pretty, Anne noticed, and it made her strangely jealous.
The woman set down her things and returned to where Anne sat, other guests milling about behind her through the car.
“My name is Tessa,” the girl said, holding out her hand.
Anne took it hesitantly. “Anne,” she replied.
“This is my first time on a train,” Tessa said excitedly. “I am going to Texas to see my brother and his wife. It is all very exciting.” She grinned broadly. “What about you, Anne? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Texas as well,” Anne said.
“Wonderful!” the girl said, positively beaming. “We will be fast friends; I just know it!”
She plopped herself down on the seat right beside Anne.
“What is waiting for you all the way in Texas?” Tessa asked, her eyes the size of saucers.
“The man I am to marry,” Anne said, her cheeks flushing pink.
Tessa’s mouth gaped. “Marry? Why, isn’t that just wonderful!” she squeaked.
Anne tried to smile, but it must have come out more like a grimace, for Tessa’s face and enthusiasm fell.
“Well, that isn’t a very happy look,” Tessa said, frowning. “Is this an arranged marriage?”
“No,” Anne said. “I found his advertisement in the Matrimonial News, and after writing to him, he agreed to marry me.”
Tessa’s brow furrowed. “I have never heard of such a thing.”
She leaned in a little closer to Anne, who found this sort of contact with a stranger to be very uncomfortable.
“But shouldn’t you be happy to be getting married to a man that you chose?” she asked pointedly.
Anne wondered if this woman was her conscience in physical form.
“I am happy,” Anne lied.
Tessa shook her head. “It is never good to lie to oneself, Anne. Not good at all. That allows for all sorts of terrible things to happen to us.”
Anne said nothing in reply.
“I have been in love once,” Tessa said. “And I will tell you that it is worth the wait. It is very much worth finding.” She nodded her head exuberantly. “Be very careful about whom you give your heart to, for you want that man to be worthy of such a gift. And trust yourself. If you find yourself in a situation in which there is no love…” Her face became very serious suddenly, as she stared intently at Anne. “Then leave.”
Anne was dumbfounded by this woman and her forward advice.
And then just as quickly as she had become serious, she was bubbly and cheerful once more.
Anne spent most of her time on the train with Tessa—though it was certainly not her intention at the beginning. She had brought books she had meant to read, and paper and pens for journaling. But Tessa was quite the conversationalist, and eventually, Anne found that she rather liked Tessa’s company.
The day they arrived at the station in Texas, Tessa was likely the closest friend that Anne had ever had.
“Now, don’t you worry your head at all, dear,” Tessa said, pressing a piece of paper into Anne’s hands. “If anything happens, you send me a letter at once, all right? I might be a few days away, but you have a friend here in Texas for a few months, all right?”
Anne smiled gratefully. She had told Tessa all about her reservations with marrying Frank over dinner one evening, and Tessa had said the same things as her sister had said.
It really made Anne stop and think about her choice, but she told Tessa the same thing she had told Katherine. Her mind was made up. She was not going to change her mind now.
They parted ways, and Anne felt an uneasiness settle over her.
She gave a coachman Frank’s address, asking him to take her there.
“All the way out there, huh?” the coachman asked. “Haven’t been out there in at least a year. Maybe more. There isn’t even a town out there. Just a couple of ranches.”
Anne’s heart sank even further.
What was s
he getting herself into?
At dusk, she finally arrived. The house was a small cabin, with smoke curling into the night sky overhead. The coachman helped carry her trunk and bag to the door, and then he bade her farewell.
And then…she was alone.
Frank had said he wouldn’t be home, so she stared at the door for quite some time, wondering if it was all right to enter without him being there. She was a stranger, after all, regardless of the circumstances.
Hesitantly, she tried the doorknob.
The door swung open, and Anne’s heart sank.
The cabin was tiny, cluttered, and filthy. Already she could see dust on every surface, ash heaped in the fireplace, and a layer of dried mud was on the floor.
“What on earth…?” she said, stepping fully inside.
There was a kitchen off the main living area and two separate bedrooms. The smaller of the two rooms was dingy and was only furnished with a weathered desk and a small cot.
She swallowed hard. Was that…going to be her room?
“You’re here.”
Anne let out a loud yelp and spun around, her heart slamming painfully against her ribs.
A short man with a wide girth stood in the doorway. He had greying hair around his temples, and his brown eyes were fixed on her.
He wasn’t smiling.
“F-Frank?” she asked hesitantly, wishing more and more that she could flee. Every sense in her body told her to.
“Yes,” he replied, closing the door behind himself. “And you’re Anne, right?”
She nodded.
“Good. Come here,” he said, and he stomped past her into the smaller of the two rooms. “This here is your room.”
“My…room?” Anne asked. “But…I cannot stay in the same house as you before we are married!” she exclaimed. “It would be terribly inappropriate. I had hoped you would have made arrangements for me to stay with a family from your church.”
Frank rolled his heavy-lidded eyes. “Did you see any other houses within a league of here? No? Well, then take what I give you and be grateful for it.”