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An Earl's Wager: Regency Romance (Gentlemen and Brides)

Page 96

by Joyce Alec


  “What…what was it about?” she finally asked him.

  She wasn’t her usual cold and assured self. Samuel told her about the attack and the fire.

  “Poor, Judith. I should go to her,” she said about Joseph’s wife.

  “You can visit her in the morning. I’ll come with you, Rachel.”

  Again, he expected her to contradict him, but he received no argument from her. Samuel led her upstairs and escorted her back to her bedroom.

  “I’ll put out the light. If you need anything, please just call out.”

  Rachel nodded and reluctantly walked to her room. Samuel didn’t want to read too much into her body language. He blew out the lamp and lay back down. He closed his eyes and replayed the moment when Rachel was in his arms. He could still feel the sensation of her small body tucked against his.

  “Samuel,” Rachel's soft voice came, and he opened his eyes.

  She was standing at the end of his bed; her head was down.

  “What is it, Rachel?” he sat up.

  Rachel looked at him for a second and then once again lowered her head.

  “Can I stay with you tonight?”

  She left the sentence open. Samuel couldn’t believe what she was saying. Rachel took his silence as a refusal.

  “It’s fine if you don’t want me in your bed. I was just…scared.”

  “Rachel, of course you can stay with me.”

  Rachel looked up at him and what he saw in her eyes was gratefulness. He lay awake all night beside her. The sound of her breathing was a comfort to him. He was afraid that if he went to sleep that he would wake to discover that she had never been in his bedroom at all.

  7

  Rachel and Samuel attended an emergency meeting to discuss what happened the previous night. Women were normally not allowed to speak, but since this was an exceptional set of circumstances, Rachel was allowed to speak her piece.

  She said, “This is a violation of our safety and is against the law. We cannot let them do this to us. They can’t keep attacking us, whether it’s verbal or physical. We must find a peaceful solution to this problem. Why don’t they understand that some of us lost our loved ones, too?”

  All eyes in the meeting room turned to her. After all, this war had taken the man she loved. Her eyes found Samuel’s involuntarily. He was watching her, too. She immediately looked away. Something had changed last night.

  “She is right. My own nephew died fighting in the war. How can they ever question our loyalty and attack our home?” Joseph put in his thoughts on the subject.

  Discussions went on for another hour, when the preacher said, “I think we should send another delegation to the government and demand safety for our home. We will not let this happen again.”

  With that final decision, the meeting was adjourned.

  “How is your wife, Joseph?” Rachel asked once the council meeting had ended.

  “She is shaken from all this, but there is nothing we can do, can we? It would not be right to match their violence with our own.

  “You are right.”

  “Your husband will protect you with his life. You are fortunate to have found a husband that loves you as much as he does.”

  Joseph’s words surprised Rachel, and she turned to find Samuel. He was looking back at her. Their eyes met. Rachel felt something awaken inside her. Samuel’s lips lifted from one corner, and his eyes turned a shade lighter. Rachel looked away immediately. Joseph was now smiling at her.

  “It’s not like that, Joseph.”

  “I have been alive many years, Rachel, and I have three daughters who have fallen in love with their spouses right before my own eyes. I know when I see someone in love.”

  Joseph walked away, but his words stayed with Rachel. She didn’t want to think too much about it, but she couldn’t help repeating it again and again in her head.

  Her own eyes kept searching Samuel, gauging the way he looked at her. With Joseph’s words and last night’s event, Rachel was ready to open her mind to the possibility of a friendship with Samuel. She didn’t know if she was ready for more.

  Rachel knew that John’s death changed her. Before he left for the war, Rachel was kind, always thinking of others. After his death, she hardened her heart to anything in life that brought joy.

  How could Samuel fall in love with someone like that? Rachel continued to analyze Samuel’s devotion to her and regretted the way she had been treating him. After all, he was in pain, too. He lost his mother before the war and lost his best friend to the war. Samuel was alone and was worthy of kindness.

  As brave and strong as Rachel portrayed herself in the council meeting, she wasn’t so inside. Every night she went to Samuel’s bed, and he didn’t complain. Every night he welcomed her, but didn’t try to make any further advances. Rachel found that his presence gave her the security that she needed to sleep peacefully at night.

  Rachel didn’t communicate her thoughts to Samuel, but he noticed the difference in her demeanor. She engaged with him in conversations over dinner, although she remained quiet most of the time. When Samuel smiled, Rachel would return his smiles, before quickly looking away.

  Over the course of a couple of weeks, the tension eased in the community. Now that life was getting back to normal, Samuel decided to move forward with a purchase he wanted to make for some time. An Englischer had a horse for sale that Samuel had his eye on. After settling on a price with the man, Samuel brought the horse home. It was a stallion with a reputation for being unbreakable, but Samuel tamed its wild nature with ease.

  Rachel watched from the kitchen in complete awe as Samuel rode the wild stallion. He looked positively energized sitting in the saddle. Slowing down, Samuel patted the stallion’s neck and then leaned down as if whispering something in his ears. And then they resumed their ride; it was a magnificent view to watch.

  The hauntings and the intensity she had first seen in Samuel’s eyes when he visited her the first time were nowhere to be seen. Rachel proceeded to go about her daily chores, but her thoughts kept drifting to Samuel. She prepared tea for him, as a gesture of thanks for being so kind since the attacks on the community.

  She picked up the tray and brought it out in the backyard, where Samuel was with the horse. She placed the tray on the small garden table and sat down as Samuel took the horse to the barn. She stared at them as they disappeared inside.

  Rachel’s thoughts wandered to the plans she used to make with John. She realized how different her life was now, and how she no longer dwelled on his loss. She still loved him and missed him, but she was starting to experience moments of joy. Even if her moments of happiness were brief, Rachel found that she smiled daily.

  The letter.

  Rachel finally felt well enough to read John’s final letter. Soon, she thought.

  Samuel came out of the barn, running his fingers through his dark hair. Before he could catch her staring, Rachel looked down and started pouring tea for him. Samuel settled into the seat across from her, and she extended the cup in his direction without making eye contact. When he didn’t take it, she lifted her eyes to see him staring back at her and then at the cup.

  He finally cleared his throat and took the tea from her hands. He looked down at it as if she had given him a potion for death’s cure.

  “Thank you, Rachel.”

  Only then, did Rachel realize that this was the first time she had served him tea. Her cheeks flushed.

  8

  “You know when she smiles, it’s like light emitting from her. You know what, Samuel? She is the only anchor that’s holding me in this world. If it hadn’t been for her, I would have died long ago. But I think it’s Rachel who is fighting for me. She won't let me die so easily. And now it's just matter of days. After that I'll be with her and all this will be history," John said dreamily, and Samuel envied him for having someone to hold on to while he was all on his own.

  Samuel thought to himself, I have no one to go back to. If this war swa
llows me up, I won’t be complaining because I don’t have anyone to shed tears on my grave. What would it feel like, if I too had a Rachel waiting for me back at home? Would I feel like something was pulling me to survive?

  He remembered the war in his dreams, his nightmares. The memories he tried so hard to forget and suppress during the daylight hours came back to haunt him at night. He felt the fear and terror of being under attack. The sound of bullets whizzing past his head, of mortar shells exploding.

  He remembered that freezing cold night in the foxhole with John, when they were under attack. The shells ripped through the forest and tore into their position. He heard men screaming and the sound of explosions. He felt the fear as though it was happening all over again.

  He hated this dream because it always ended the same. John crawled out of the foxhole to save an injured man only a few feet away. The man’s screams of agony were something Samuel would never forget as long as he lived. He begged John not to go, to wait until the shelling was over, but John didn’t listen, he never did, not in any of his dreams, and he had not listened in real life either.

  With an explosion, John had been hit and lay badly wounded. He was dying even though Samuel did not have the nerve to admit it to himself. He wanted to clench his eyes shut, as they burned with tears.

  He felt someone dragging him away from John, away from his friend as he lay dying. He resisted, begging, “‘Don’t pull me away.”

  “Samuel,” a sweet voice came to Samuel like a breath of fresh air. “Samuel,” she called again. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “Rachel!” he cried her name in utter torment and suffering.

  “Samuel, wake up. You are having a nightmare. Wake up, please.”

  Her small hands gently shook his shoulders.

  He dared to open his eyes, and there she was. His Rachel was right there, next to him. Warm tears dropped on his face, and he reached out for her hand.

  “Rachel,” he whispered her name. “You are here.”

  He reached up and brushed her cheeks. She leaned into his touch and covered his hand.

  “I’m here, Samuel. You were dreaming.”

  “This is not a dream?” he questioned in disbelief.

  He touched her again, trying to return to the present moment, trying to leave the foxhole and that terrible night in the snow behind. He looked into her eyes. And then the most unexpected thing happened. Rachel laid her head down on his chest and embraced him.

  “You are so strong, Samuel. Nothing will ever break you. Not your past, nor anything else,” she whispered.

  He pulled her close, “You are wrong, my love. There is one thing that can rip me into pieces and destroy me completely.”

  Rachel looked up at him. He caressed her cheek and whispered, “It’s you, Rachel. You hold complete power over me. I am a puppet in your hand. Define me however you want.”

  He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this moment.

  That night changed everything. The spark that was ignited during the night of the attack was now transformed into a massive flame. She felt different. Looking at Samuel in such a vulnerable state changed the way she looked at him.

  She was deep asleep when she was wakened by Samuel calling her name again and again with his eyes clenched shut and body stiff. She had been scared to death for a minute, thinking she was about to lose him. When she called his name, it appeared as if life was returning to him. Thoughts of her gave him solace. Afterward, when he was awake, he had surprised her with his heartfelt words.

  Trust.

  She finally trusted that his words and actions were true. Because he was talking in his sleep, Rachel relived the moment John died. Samuel did everything he could. For the first time, Rachel felt that maybe it was all right for her to think about Samuel as a husband. She no longer felt like she was betraying John.

  Rachel rested her head on Samuel’s chest as they both slept peacefully.

  “Good morning.”

  She turned to see a very uncertain and vulnerable Samuel standing near the breakfast table in the kitchen. He was looking at her like he expected the worst to come from her. Instead, Rachel blushed from head to toe, feeling shy.

  “Good morning. I’ll prepare breakfast.”

  She felt Samuel’s eyes following her as she served him breakfast.

  He looked at her and said, “Please, join me, Rachel.”

  She found his eyes, and the yearning in them made her do whatever he was asking her. She didn’t know what was happening to her. They ate in complete silence, lots of questions lingering in the air, but neither of them wanted to voice the change that occurred.

  Rachel felt like she was Samuel’s wife.

  “I’ll be in the barn if you need me,” Samuel said to her.

  Rachel nodded.

  When he left, Rachel felt a sense of loneliness wash over her that she had never known before. She shook her head and busied herself with the chores to free up her time to work on the quilt.

  Later that morning, Rachel felt restless. She decided that it was time; she climbed the stairs and went to her room. She opened her Bible and looked at the unopened letter from John. She needed to know what it said.

  Her hands trembled as she opened the envelope. She took the letter out and was surprised to see it was only a few lines scrawled on a piece of paper. It looked like John must have written it in a hurry. She read the last words he would ever send to her,

  Rachel,

  I don’t have much time. The Germans are shelling us, and I fear that I might not make it through the night. I know I promised to come home to you, but if I can’t, I promise that you will know that you are loved and cared for all the days of your life.

  Samuel has been my best friend and my brother all these years. In war, he risked his life to save mine more times than I can ever repay. He says he has no one and that I have you and that he wants to make sure that I come home to you. I am afraid that tonight may be my last night, and I promise that if I can’t come home to you then I will send Samuel.

  He will love you and protect you, and I can die knowing that you are safe.

  I love you always,

  John

  Tears fell down her face as she read the words. She could feel how frightened John felt that night, and she was thankful he had Samuel with him. She took a deep breath. John knew he was going to die, and he wanted Samuel to look after her. Samuel had done that and so much more. She took a few minutes to weep over John. She would never forget him as long as she lived. She felt a weight had been lifted from her soul. She no longer felt disloyal to him or to his memory. John wanted her to be with Samuel; she had his blessing. She sighed and folded the letter back up. She put it in the envelope and went downstairs.

  She walked to the barn to see Samuel. The first thing to hit her was his voice. He was talking to the horse. Her heart melted as she saw him interacting with the stallion with such care.

  He looked up and smiled at her. She returned his smile and joined him.

  She handed him the letter and said softly, “Samuel, I have been a fool not to trust you or love you. That letter you gave me when you returned, I never read it. I wasn’t ready, but I finally did, and I wish I had read it sooner. I have been so wrong, and I have wasted so much time that I could have spent loving you.”

  "Rachel, I have loved you for so long, and I want to be a good husband to you. I never intended to be disloyal to John.”

  “I know that now. Please, read the letter. I want you to know what it says.”

  Samuel read the letter and a single tear fell from his eye. He remembered that night, and he knew now that he had done right by John and Rachel. He felt a deep sense of peace come over him.

  Rachel wrapped her arms around him and said, “I won’t let go of you, Samuel. Will you hold me forever?”

  Rachel lifted her face up and kissed him. Samuel closed his eyes.

  “Forever?” he asked.


  Rachel nodded.

  “Forever.”

  This time, Samuel kissed her, and everything else faded away.

  THE END

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