by Emily Minton
She didn’t even bring Jenny to Pop’s this weekend; Bethany did. Jenny was kind of quiet too. I asked her what’s wrong, and she said her Momma was sick. I wanted to go check on Julie, but I knew she wouldn’t want that, so I spent the whole weekend worrying about her.
The sound of someone being sick pulls me away from my thoughts. I hear talking, and I’m pretty sure its Becca and Julie. Becca better not be fucking with her again. I’m going to put a stop to this shit now! Their voices carry through the door.
“Does Jase know he’s going to be a daddy again?”
“No, he doesn’t.”
Julie’s pregnant? She’s pregnant and sick, and she didn’t tell me. Not again. This can’t be happening again. I try to focus on what they are saying, but my mind keeps going to the image of Julie with my baby growing inside her. The sound of the door opening gets my attention. I look up, and Julie is standing there with her mouth hanging open.
I step forward. “Were you going to tell me this time or run off like a fucking bitch again?”
“I was going to tell you,” Julie says, looking to the floor instead of at me.
“When? Were you going to wait until this one was eight?”
“I can’t talk about this right now,” she says as she tries to walk past me.
I grab onto her arm and swing her around to look at me. “You ran away nine years ago, kept my daughter from me. I’m not gonna let that happen again.”
“Jase, don’t. Not here, okay?” she says quietly.
“Why did you keep Jenny away from me?” I demand. I’m not sure where the question comes from, but it’s one I want an answer to. If I discover why, maybe I can keep it from happening again.
“You hurt me, Jase. When I told everyone I was pregnant, they told me not to tell you. They said you weren’t in a good place. Pop and your brothers came out every few months to visit. I kept asking if it was time to tell you, but they said you weren’t ready.”
Hearing that my own father and brothers visited my daughter all these years and never told me causes my breath to catch. My own family saw her. They saw how wonderful Jenny was and never gave me a chance. Fuck!
“I’m not signing visitation papers. You can stick them up your ass. I’ll see my daughter whenever the hell I want,” I say to her and walk out of the building.
Chapter 13
Julie
Jase leaves, and I feel sick all over again. Becca is still in the bathroom when I rush back in to empty my stomach. She hands me some paper towels quietly. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry, Julie,” she says.
“Sorry for what? Sleeping with my man or treating me like shit since I moved home.” At this moment, I don’t really care what her answer is. It’s just easier to focus on her than what just happened with Jase.
“I’m sorry for all of it.”
“Why though, Becca? You were my best friend. Why did you have to do that to me?”
She shrugs and looks away. “I can’t explain it. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Then why the bitch act when I came back?” I ask, not believing she’s sincere.
“Let’s just say, Brittany rubs off on a person,” she says, shaking her head.
I stand up, flush the toilet, and head over to the sink to clean up again. “How could you become friends with her anyway? You’ve hated her as much as Kristen and I ever did.”
“After I screwed everything up with the two of you, I was alone. I needed a friend, and she was there. Two messed up souls… we just clicked, although, half the time, I still hate her.”
I just shake my head. I want so badly to reach over to Becca and hug her, but I’m still hurt by what she did. “I can’t say I forgive you. I wish I could, but I just can’t.”
“I understand,” she says, as she swipes away a stray tear.
“I have to get back to work,” I say as I walk out of the bathroom.
Heading back to my office, my phone starts to ring. I pull it out of my pocket and stick it to my ear before looking at the caller ID. “Hello.”
Silence… “Hello.”
I can hear someone breathing, and I know it’s him. Too tired to deal with Dean, I end the call and sit down at my desk. Folding my arms on the desk, I rest my head on top of them. What am I going to do now?
Jase
I go home instead of going back to work. I just can’t deal with everyone’s shit today. If I see my family, I may kill them. Right now, all I can think of is wrapping my hands around their throats and squeezing until I feel something snap.
I walk into my apartment and throw my keys across the room. They hit the picture of Julie and me that’s hanging on the wall. It falls to the floor, sending shattered glass everywhere. Shit! I walk over and pick it up, remembering the day it was taken. We had just moved in together and were so damn happy. Why did I have to fuck everything up?
I look at her beautiful smile and think about how much I miss her. I know I don’t deserve her, but I’m not the only one who’s made mistakes. Yes, I cheated on her. I get it; I really do. I hurt her, but do I really deserve to lose my children because of it? I sit on my couch, itching to grab the bottle of whiskey, but I don’t. Instead, I pick up the phone and dial Matty’s number.
“Hey, bro.”
Hearing his voice sends my anger through the roof. “You visited Jenny? You actually went to see her and never told me?”
He’s quiet for a second before he finally comes clean. “Yeah, I did.”
“How the hell could you do that to me?”
“At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do.”
“At the time? What about now?” I ask, angry as hell.
“It was the worst decision I ever made. You’re a wonderful father. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” he says, his voice filled with emotion.
“It’s not worth a hell of a lot when you consider I didn’t get to watch my little girl grow up.”
“I know, bro,” he says simply, not trying to defend his actions.
I can either keep bitching, or I can get to the point of my call. “I need you to pick up Jenny and bring her over here.”
“Shit! Are you and Julie still on the outs?”
“You don’t even know the half of it, Matty,” I say, letting out a deep breath. “She’s pregnant, and she didn’t tell me. She hid it again, man.”
With that, I end the call and toss the phone across the room.
Julie
The day ends, and I head home. A few minutes later, Matty shows up. “Hey, what are you doing here? You usually don’t stop by until the weekend,” I ask him as I open the door.
Matty looks uncomfortable. “Um, Jase was hoping I could pick up Jenny and bring her over to visit for a bit.”
“Oh, um, yeah, okay,” I say hesitantly, wondering if Matty knows what happened at the office today.
I yell out for Jenny and tell her to get ready to go to her daddy’s. I then lead Matty to the kitchen and grab him a glass of tea. We both sit down at the table. He’s not talking, and I’m starting to get uncomfortable. I can tell Jase told him what happened, and he’s upset with me. “Just lay it on me.”
He looks at me, and I can see pain in his eyes. “Please tell me that you weren’t going to run away this time.”
“No!” I say through clenched teeth.
“Then, why didn’t you tell him?”
“I was going to tell him. I really was. I just needed a little time.”
He looks me in the face, searching for the truth. “Are you sure about that?”
Jenny coming into the room saves me from answering Matty’s question. She’s excited to see her daddy. She has Matty out the door before I even get a chance to say goodbye.
“Make sure to remind your daddy about your birthday party this weekend,” I holler out the door. I watch them until the truck is out of sight, then I head to the living room and lay on the couch. I start to think about all the things I should have said to Jase, but I’m so tired that
within minutes, I’m dreaming. The sex dreams have stopped, and even the nightmares of Jase and Brittany are gone. Now, my head is full of silent phone calls and two men that hate me.
Jase
“I’m here!” Jenny shouts as she runs through the door. She comes right to me and throws herself in my arms. I hold her close and instantly feel better. Having her here is just what I need. Matty comes in the door a minute later. He’s carrying a pizza in one hand and some Disney DVDs in the other.
“Your daughter made me stop off to get pizza and hit the Red Box,” he says as he places the pizza box on the table. “I didn’t mind stopping to get this stuff, but I am not going to watch Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure, so I’m out of here.”
I laugh and nod my head. I understand completely. I wouldn’t watch this shit either if it wasn’t for Jenny, but I’ll do anything to make her happy. If she wants to watch crappy movies, we will watch crappy movies.
After Matty leaves, I grab us a couple of sodas and paper plates. Then, Sweet Pea and me veg out in front of the TV. We’re about halfway through the first movie when Jenny turns to me. “Why is Momma mad at you? Did you kiss another girl again?”
I just stare at her for a minute. Fuck, it’s hard being a parent. “It’s complicated, and it’s kind of personal, just between me and your momma.”
“That’s what Momma said, not the personal stuff, but that it’s complicated. I think being a grown up is stinky. Everything is complicated.” She takes a drink of her soda before looking at me again. “I don’t know why you just don’t write her a note and ask if she likes you. That’s what Logan did to me yesterday.”
Oh, hell no! “Some boy’s writing you notes?”
“Logan writes me a note almost every day, but yesterday, he asked if I liked him. He wants to know if I want him for a boyfriend, but I don’t. All the girls give their boyfriends their cookie at lunch. No one’s getting my cookie,” she says, stuffing another bite of pizza in her mouth.
I can’t keep from chuckling at her words, feeling better than I’ve felt all night. “Good. You keep it that way. Boys are bad news.”
I give her a quick kiss on the top of her head and finish eating my pizza. As soon as I’m done, I spread out on the couch and pull Jenny in front of me. Within a few minutes, she’s out. I follow closely behind.
Chapter 14
Jase
I’m birthday shopping for my Sweet Pea. Her party is tomorrow. I was happy as hell when Pop told me Julie said I could come, but I would have been there anyway. I haven’t talked to Julie in days, and I’m still mad as hell at her, but I miss her every bit as much as I’m angry with her. I know we’ve got to figure out a way to work this shit out, for Jenny’s sake and for the new baby. I refuse to be in constant battle with my children’s mother.
I walk up and down the aisles, but I don’t know what to get her. I have no idea what to buy a nine-year-old little girl, but I’m determined to pick out the best present ever. I make my way through the toy section, looking at every doll they have. I pick up one with pink hair to take a closer look.
“Don’t get her a doll. She’ll just stick it in her room and forget about it. She only plays with Lulu.” I look over to see Kristen is standing right beside me with a bright smile on her face.
“You’re probably right,” I agree and stick the doll back on the shelf. “Any ideas?” I ask.
“Yeah, follow me.” She leads me to the craft section, and we head straight to the glittery shit. “Just load your basket up. You can’t go wrong. Jenny is just like Julie. She can spend hours working on this stuff.” She shakes her head. “You should see my apartment. It’s full of all this crap. I like it, but it’s definitely not my style. When she makes me something, I just can’t throw it away, though.”
I smile and think of all the stuff hanging around my place. “Me neither. I’m probably the only guy in the world who has a hot pink unicorn hanging on his living room wall,” I say with a laugh.
Kristen reaches out and touches my arm. “Thank you for being such a good dad to her. Jenny really needs it. Julie did her best to shield her from everything that was going on with Dean, but it still bothered Jenny.”
“Did he hurt Jenny too?” I ask the question that’s been on my mind since the day I heard about Julie being in the hospital.
“Hell no! If that bastard had ever laid a hand on Jenny, he’d be dead now,” Kristen says in a near shout. “Julie only stayed to protect her family and yours. She was afraid that if she told anyone what was going on, one of you would end up in jail. She would’ve never let him hurt Jenny though. She’d have killed him herself.”
I let out a relieved breath. “Julie’s right. I would be in prison now if I had known. I swear I want to go kill him now, but I know it won’t do any good. I’d just lose Jenny and the new baby.”
“New baby? What new baby? What in the fuck are you talking about?” Kristen is screaming now. “Julie’s pregnant? When the hell did this happen?”
Oh fuck! I just assumed Julie had told her by now. “Shit, Kristen. I thought you knew.”
“You couldn’t leave her alone, could you? You just had to fuck her life up again, didn’t you?”
What the hell? “I don’t think of Julie having another baby as a fuck up.”
“I’m sure you don’t. You weren’t around to watch her fall apart. You weren’t there to see her struggle just to buy damn diapers,” Kristen says with a sneer.
“I wasn’t given a chance to be, was I? But I will be there for everything this time, so don’t you fucking worry about it!” I shout back and walk away.
Julie
“Pull it up a little more on the right,” Bethany orders and takes a drink of her beer.
I shake my head at her and try to raise the princess birthday banner a little more. “You just said to bring it down.”
“You brought it down too much, but it looks good now,” she says with a smile.
I look around our house and smile back at her. “It looks like the Disney store exploded in here.”
“It’s cute, and Jenny will love it. I know I do.”
I nod my head in agreement and grab the next bag of decorations. “You know you can’t be drunk when all the little girls get here.”
Bethany nods, flopping her head up and down. I just laugh at her and walk to the kitchen. I’m just about to sprinkle sparkle confetti on the table when I hear the front door open. I look up as Kristen walks into the kitchen.
“When were you going to tell me?” she asks, sounding more like a bitch than my friend.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, even though I have a pretty good idea what she’s asking.
“About you having a baby!” she screams. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
I take a moment to consider my options and decide to return her bitchy attitude. “Definitely not about getting pregnant.”
“Pregnant? Who’s pregnant?” Aunt Angie says as she walks through the door.
Kristen crosses her arms over her chest and nods her head at me.
“Julie Anne Walker! How did this happen?” Angie says with a gasp.
“The usual way?” Bethany says then burps. She instantly covers her mouth and starts to giggle.
We all look at her and notice the nearly empty bottle of beer in her hand. Bethany has never held her alcohol well, and beer is the worst. It makes her mouthy and very giggly.
“You gave her beer? You know how she gets.” Kristen rolls her eyes, shaking her head. I look at Kristen like she’s crazy.
“No way. She got it herself. She’s says she’s trying to loosen up a little.”
Angie looks at Kristen and shakes her head. “Who cares about little Miss Bethany being drunk? I want to talk about Julie being pregnant,” she finishes, staring straight at me.
“It was an accident. I was taking birth control, but I missed a few pills when I was in the hospital. The doctor said it can take up to two cycles for the pills to be effective aft
er missing some,” I say and add a shrug, trying to play it off like it’s no big deal. In reality, it’s huge. Really fucking huge!
Kristen snorts. “What? Your panties accidentally fell off? Then you accidentally landed on Jase’s dick?”
“Watch your mouth,” Angie says as she reaches over and smacks Kristen in the back of the head. “Thank our sweet Lord that Jase is the dad.”
“What?” Kristen and I ask at the same time. I didn’t even think about that. Could Dean be the father? He did rape me the night he put me in the hospital. He always did after a beating. He said it wasn’t rape though; he was my husband, and my body was his.
I can feel the bile rise to the back of my throat, just thinking of all the times he forced himself onto my abused body. No, my brain screams. That’s not possible, but it is. There’s a chance the baby is Dean’s. If it is, he will be a permanent feature in our lives. How could I have not considered this before?
“Pinch poke, you owe each other a coke,” Bethany says with another giggle, breaking me away from my thoughts.
“Would you shut your drunk ass up?” Kristen says and runs to the other side of the room before Angie can hit her again.
Angie blows out a frustrated breath. “Look at the way Jase treats Jenny. Even though we all doubted him, he is an amazing father. I’m glad this new baby will have him as his or her daddy.”
Everyone is quiet for a moment. Bethany then says the first intelligent thing that has come out of her mouth since she started drinking. “I’m just ecstatic that it isn’t Dean’s.”
When the words come out of her mouth, I don’t say a word. I look down and slump in the chair, putting my head into my hands. “Shit, shit, shit…”
Aunt Angie walks to me and crouches down in front of me. Taking my hand in hers, she asks the question I know everyone is thinking. “The baby isn’t Dean’s is it?”
“I don’t think so, but there is a possibility,” I say quietly.
Kristen comes over to me and wraps me in her arms. “Have you had an ultrasound yet, to determine your dates?”
