by Emily Minton
“No, I have my first one Monday.”
“Then there’s no point in worrying about it just yet. We’ll worry when the time comes,” she says and hugs me a little tighter.
The conversation dies down, but I continue to think about Aunt Angie and Bethany’s words. They’re right; I can only pray the baby is Jase’s. I know what I need to do. I haven’t talked to Jase since he showed up at the office over a month ago. I didn’t mean for him to find out like that. It’s time I talk to Jase. It’s time to apologize.
I finally shake out of my stupor and finish decorating. I’m barely done when Uncle Mack shows up with Jenny. Bethany was right; Jenny loves all the decorations.
“Oh, wow!” she squeals as she jumps up and down while looking around the house. She completely ignores her presents and runs right for the princess crown centerpiece. She picks it up and sticks it on her head. “This is so cool.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s just a decoration, so I smile and nod. “You look like a princess.”
Jenny keeps looking around, and I notice she looks a little sad. I know she’s watching for Jase. I hope he shows up. I know he’s mad at me, but he needs to be here for Jenny. Our problems can be dealt with later. I wait another few minutes and grab my phone. I’m about to call him when the door opens. Jase walks in carrying two extra full gift bags.
“Daddy!” Jenny screams and runs right to him. She wraps herself around his legs, and Jase sets the bags down to pick her up.
“You’re late. Where were you?” she asks.
“I’m sorry, Sweet Pea. I had a flat tire. I tried to call, but no one answered.” I look down at my phone, and there are three missed calls from Jase. I forgot I had turned the ringer off after Dean’s last call. He didn’t say anything again, but I still know it was him.
The party moves to the backyard. Pop rented Jenny one of those big bouncy castles. She and all her friends are having a great time, bouncing away. Everyone seems to be having fun, so I decide to try to talk to Jase. I walk over to him and tap him on the arm. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
He looks toward Jenny then back at me. He nods his head, and I lead him to my bedroom. As soon as we walk through the door, he crosses his arms and looks at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I look at the floor, too nervous to look in his eyes. “I had only known for about a week. I hadn’t told anyone but Bethany. I only told her because I needed someone to buy the pregnancy test.” I take a deep breath and continue. “I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I was scared, but I was going to tell you. I just wasn’t ready.”
“Are you sure you weren’t planning on running again? Maybe you’re thinking about keeping this one to yourself too?”
His words feel like a slap. I look up at him. He’s smiling at me in a way that says he knows he’s being an ass. “No! It never even crossed my mind.”
He walks over to the window and looks out at Jenny and her friends playing. “Every time I think about the years I’ve missed with her, I want to hate you.” He’s silent for a moment, then turns to look at me. “Why the fuck can’t I hate you?”
I shake my head sadly. “I don’t know. Why can’t I hate you?”
We stand there silently for a moment, looking at each other. “I love you, Julie, but this shit has to stop. We have to figure out how to get past it. Jenny deserves to have parents that aren’t at each other’s throats all the time. I want to be with you, but you need to decide what you want.”
I can’t look at him anymore, so I look down, but I do nod in agreement.
He walks past me, but stops when he reaches the door. “I’ll work on my shit. You do the same. Let me know when you want to talk again.”
“Wait,” I whisper. “I need to tell you something.”
He turns around and crosses his arms again. He lifts his chin for me to go on, but I’m not sure how to tell him. I finally take a deep breath and just say it. “Dean raped me right before he put me in the hospital. There’s a slim chance this baby could be his. I doubt it because I took birth control the entire time we were together, but I can’t be sure because I haven’t had a period since before he beat me the last time. I’m having an ultrasound Monday, and I’ll know for sure then.”
Jase doesn’t even give me a chance to finish before he races past me to the bathroom. I can hear him throwing up, and I start to cry. I crawl into the bed and pull my legs up to my stomach. Shame slithers over my skin, leaving a trail of pain behind.
I’m still lying here when Jase comes back into the room. He sits on the bed and lays his hand on my hip. “This is my baby. I don’t give a fuck who fathered it. I am going to be its daddy.” He leans down and places a soft kiss on my forehead then gets up and leaves the room.
Jase
Julie hasn’t come back down to the party, but Jenny is too busy with her friends to even notice. Kristen, Bethany, and Angie keep going upstairs to check on her. All three women look concerned, and so am I. I want to ask if Julie’s okay, but I don’t have the balls to. I’m afraid they may mention that son of a bitch’s name, and I can’t think about him right now. I’m too fucking angry.
Parents start showing up to pick up their kids, and the party starts to die down. I help clean up, and then I climb into the bouncy castle where Jenny is still playing, but she’s not playing anymore. She’s curled in a little ball in the corner, sound asleep. I make my way to her and pick her up. Slowly, I crawl out and take her to her room. As soon as I lay her down, she opens her eyes. “This was my best birthday ever.”
“I’m glad, Sweet Pea.”
“It was so good ‘cause you were here. You are the best daddy in the whole world.” She’s out as soon as the last word leaves her mouth. I bend down and give her a kiss on the cheek then leave the room. As I step out in the hallway, I see Kristen and Matty standing down the hall. I know they’re waiting for me.
“What?” I ask as soon as I reach them.
Kristen pulls me to her and gives me a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jase. I’m sorry for everything. She wanted to tell you as soon as she found out she was pregnant with Jenny, but I talked her out of it.”
“It wasn’t just you. It was all of us,” Matty says, pulling Kristen from me to him. He wraps his arms around her. “We should’ve just stayed out of it.”
“No, you don’t understand. Julie didn’t want to even go out with Dean. I forced her to. I wouldn’t leave her alone about it. Then when he asked her to marry him, she said no. She told me she couldn’t love anyone except Jase. I kept on until she said yes,” she says pleading with Matty to understand.
“This is no one’s fault but my brother’s,” Bethany says as she walks around the corner. “I have been blaming myself for his actions for years, but it doesn’t do any good. All we can do now is pray the baby isn’t his.”
“It’s not,” I say firmly. Everyone looks at me with questions in their eyes. “If someone says any different, I will kick their ass.” I walk away without giving an explanation for my words.
I drive straight to Pop’s, knowing I’m gonna need my old man. As soon as I walk in, he hands me a beer. “Tell me what in the hell is going on.”
We sit at the kitchen table, and I tell him about the baby and what Dean did to Julie. I still cannot get the image of him raping her from my head. “What am I going to do if the baby’s his?”
Pop stands up and places his hand on my shoulders. “We’ll kill him. Then we’ll bury him so deep that no one will ever find him.”
I look into Pop’s eyes; they’re filled with determination. I swallow hard and nod my head in agreement. I’ve never thought about killing someone before, but if there’s ever a man that deserves to be dead, it’s this bastard. Pop and I don’t talk anymore. He finishes his beer and heads to bed. I go to my old room and crawl into the bed I slept in as a child. I just don’t want to go home to my lonely apartment tonight.
Chapter 15
Julie
I’m
at the doctor’s office, waiting to get called in for my ultrasound and fidgeting more with each minute that passes. Bethany and Kristen wanted to come. Even Jase left a message, saying he would be here if I needed him, but I felt like I had to do this on my own. Now, I wish I had taken them up on their offers.
One thought keeps running through my brain; what if this baby is Dean’s? What will I do then? I’ll have to run, but what about Jase? He’s a good daddy to Jenny. I can’t take her away from him. Can I? No, I can’t.
“Ms. Walker,” the nurse says, breaking me free of my thoughts.
I follow her to one of the exam rooms, where she takes my blood pressure and hands me a gown and a sheet to cover up with. I’m just finishing tying on the paper gown when the doctor walks in. “I was told that you requested I do your ultrasound, instead of the technician.”
“I need to know the exact date I got pregnant, at least as close as you can get.” I do my best to explain the situation without crying. “My ex-husband... he, well, he um…”
I can’t find the words. “I need to know if the baby is his.”
The doctor cocks his head to the side, contemplating his next words. “Is there anything else you would like to tell me? The more background information I’m given, the better it is for you and your child.”
I finally just blurt it out. “He raped me, so there’s a chance the baby is his.”
He walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “If you can, tell me the exact date you were assaulted and the date that you had consensual sex.”
“I was admitted to the hospital on July 12th. He raped me the night before, or it could have been really early that morning. I don’t really remember much of it.” I take a second to think of the date of my welcome home party. “I was with Jase, had consensual sex, on August the 9th.”
The doctor nods and walks over to the ultrasound machine. “That’s four weeks. There shouldn’t be any trouble determining the father.”
He motions for me to get up on the table and helps me get the sheet situated to cover my legs. A minute later, he squeezes the cold jelly on my stomach and places the probe onto my barely noticeable baby bump. He starts to move it around, making a few adjustments to the screen. It only takes a few seconds for a grainy image to appear.
“See that right there?” the doctor says as he points to the screen. “Do you see that mass there?” I nod, looking at what appears to be a blinking blob.
“That’s your baby.” He starts pushing buttons, and numbers appear on the screen. He pulls the probe from my stomach and pushes a few more buttons. He then hands me a CD. “Those are pictures of your baby. Next time, you’ll have a 3D ultra sound. It’s kind of like a little movie. It’ll almost be like you’re looking right at the baby.”
The only thing I care about right now is whether this is Dean’s baby or not. “The father?”
“You are right at sixteen weeks. There’s no way this baby was conceived in July, so this is definitely not your ex-husband’s child. I was almost certain of that before we even started, but I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure. After you were brought to the hospital, you would have been given the morning after pill. It’s standard procedure after a sexual assault.”
Relief crashes through me, and I start to cry. “Thank God.”
The doctor continues to talk for a bit, but I’m too emotional to focus on his words. When he finally leaves the room, I rush to get dressed. I quickly pay and make my way to my car. As soon as I’m behind the wheel, I call Jase.
“Julie.” The sound of his voice sends me into tears again. “Don’t cry, baby. Everything will be okay. I already told you it doesn’t matter to me. I’ll take care of the baby either way. That bastard will never lay his hands on it.”
I start to laugh through my tears. “It’s not his. The baby’s yours.”
Jase is quiet for a moment then I hear him whisper my words from earlier. “Thank God.”
I hear my phone beep and see Kristen’s number pop up. Glad to have an excuse not to finish the conversation, I say, “Kristen is calling. I need to answer it. I was supposed to call her as soon as I got done, but I wanted to call you first.”
I click over without giving him time to respond. I wanted him to be the first to know, but I’m not ready to talk about us yet. I’m not sure I will ever be ready.
“What happened?” Kristen asks without giving me time to say hello. I can hear Bethany in the background asking questions.
“Jase is the daddy!” I say through tears.
She screams with joy. I can hear Bethany shouting in the background. They’re both talking, and I can’t understand a thing that’s being said, so I hang up the phone without saying goodbye. The phone immediately starts to ring, but I ignore it. I lay my head on the steering wheel and let out the breath I’ve been holding since Jenny’s party.
Jase
“Fuck, yeah!” I shout out as I place the phone in the front pocket of my overalls. Julie and I are having another baby. I’m gonna be a dad again. This time, I will be there from day one. Ecstatic doesn’t even come close to describing the way I feel. All the guys in the garage turn to look over at me as I throw my head back and let out a happy whoop.
Pop comes out of the office to see what all the commotion is. “What the hell is going on?”
“The baby’s mine!” I shout.
Relief runs through me as the words leave my mouth. I would have been the father to that child either way, but knowing the child is mine is great fucking news. The thought of Julie being pregnant with that bastard’s child nearly killed me, and I know it tore her to pieces.
Pop lays his hand on my shoulder. “Congratulations.”
He pulls his hand away and walks back into his office. Seconds later, he brings out a few beers. “Let’s celebrate the news, boy!” he says, passing me one.
Popping the top, I take a deep pull of the cool beer. “I can’t believe I’m gonna be a daddy again.”
“I knew it would work out, son.”
I nod. “It sure in the hell did. I have Jenny, now a new baby on the way, and soon, I’ll have Julie too.”
“Let’s hope,” Pop agrees before turning his head toward the door of the garage that just flew open.
Looking over, I see Becca walking toward us. Shit!
“You better get rid of her, Jase. None of us are going to turn a blind eye to that shit again,” Pop says with a scowl.
“There’s nothing going on between us. I have no idea why she’s here.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Just get rid of her ass.” He narrows his eyes at me before turning toward his office.
I don’t move. I let Becca come to me, sneering at her as she steps in front of me. “Why are you here?”
“I thought we could talk?” she says, making it sound like a question.
“Talk about what?”
She looks to the side, lowering her head. “We need to talk about what happened between us after your mom died.”
Oh, hell no. “That shit’s not happening again, so there’s nothing to talk about.”
“I know that, but there is something I need to tell you.”
Shaking my head, I take a step back. “Listen to me, Becca. Whatever we had is over, way fucking over. You need to get that shit through your head. You also need to leave me the fuck alone.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll just leave,” she says and walks out without another word.
I watch her walk away, seeing her shoulders slump and her steps become a shuffle. She looks totally dejected and lost. Another time, another place, and I would have been there for her as her friend, but not now. No fucking way. I’ve always had female friends before, but after this mess, I’ve decided to just stay clear of them all. It’s not that I’m worried my dick won’t stay in my pants; I just want Julie to know she can trust me.
Pop walks back in as soon as she leaves. “What in the hell was she doing here?”
“I don’t know. She s
aid she wanted to talk, but I ain’t going there again.”
Pop stares at the door for a second. “I always liked that girl. She was such a sweet kid, but her parents are two of the biggest douche bags I’ve ever met. Did you know her parents didn’t want her around Julie?”
“What? Why the fuck not?” I cannot imagine any parent having an issue with Julie being around their children. She was a fucking perfect kid. She was smart as hell, always on the honor roll. She didn’t drink and run around like all the rest of us did. Hell, she didn’t even date anyone until me.
“I know you probably don’t remember, you were just a kid yourself, but Kristen and Becca have been friends since they first started school. They were always running back and forth between each other’s houses, but when Julie and Brandon moved in, Becca quit coming over. Kristen wasn’t invited to her house anymore either. Finally, Angie went over to talk to Becca’s mom. The old bitch said they didn’t want their daughter associating with orphans,” Pop finishes with a disgusted shake of his head.
“Shit! That’s just wrong. Julie and Brandon couldn’t help what their mom did. Hell, my woman never did anything bad back then,” I say, defending Julie.
“No, they couldn’t, but Becca’s parents were always uptight like that. They had to have complete control of her life. I felt sorry for that little girl. As much as I hate what happened between you two, I feel sorry for her still,” Pop says, then smiles toward me and repeats my words back to me. “Your woman?”
I nod. “Julie has always been my woman.”
“Yeah, I guess she has been,” he agrees, and then walks into his office without saying anything else.
I hate that Becca had a fucked up life, but I can’t let that worry me now. Julie and our children have to come first.
Chapter 16
Julie
Before I can even get the engine cut off, Jenny is unbuckling her seat belt. “Can I go inside now, Momma?”
I look across the front door and see Pop standing beside the open shop door. He lifts his cup of coffee and shouts. “There’s my girls.”
