Chance Collision

by C. A. Szarek

  She couldn’t focus on the tragedy, the loss. What she’d witnessed tonight. Dr Greene had died instantly, as had the nurse Luciano Marchetti had dragged into Gram’s room.

  Rebecca was going to make it, but others had died. Many more had been injured.

  The scene swirled in her head. She didn’t want to think about it. The other alternative was therapy for the rest of her life. How much could a person’s mind take?

  Then again, Pete’s rejection was probably enough to land her there anyway. It was too much. Salty icing on a big crap cake.

  He’s done with you.

  He doesn’t love you.

  “What did you expect?” The whisper felt like a shout.

  They’d fallen into the situation together. They’d fallen into bed together. Nikki shouldn’t have fallen in love.

  She needed him. Needed his arms around her, his lips against hers to banish everything. The screams, the gunshots… The blood. People…had died. In front of her. Because of her.

  The bed spun and Nikki rolled onto her back. Clutched the sheets with both hands. Her heart pounded. Every breath was like a dagger piercing her lungs. “No.”

  Sweat broke out on her top lip and brow as everything centrifuged together in her mind, amplifying. Watching a movie on fast-forward with full volume.

  Bile rose and her stomach lurched. No! The shout wouldn’t breach her lips.

  The bedroom door burst open and Chief Martin was at her side in seconds. “Nikki.” When he sat and tried to gather her to him, she thrashed.

  No…no…

  Nikki couldn’t be encased. Enclosed. Don’t touch me!

  “Nikki.” His voice was firm as he helped her sit up, resting his hands on her shoulders. “I think you’re having a panic attack. Take a deep breath.”

  She shook her head and tried to push him away. Chief held her firmly, without hurting her.

  “Look at me. Look at me and take a deep breath. Breathe through it. C’mon, we’ll count it out. One…”

  Nikki sucked in air, cursing the hot tears on her cheeks.

  “Two…three… That’s it… Four…”

  Her chest rose and fell in rhythm with his calm tone.

  “One more… Good job.” He paused, looked deep into her eyes. “Better?”

  Nikki rushed forward and hugged him. Closed her eyes against his thick shoulder and prayed her tears would cease.

  Chief held her until her heart calmed.

  She pulled back and nodded. Cleared her throat. “I’m good. Thank you. Never had a panic attack before…”

  “It’s only natural after what you’ve been through.”

  “Please don’t remind me. I…need to move on…” From this, and from Pete.

  “I know.” Chief nodded. “I’ll help you any way you need. I want you to take some time off.”

  “No,” Nikki said quickly. “No. Please don’t make me. I…need…to work. I need to get back to normal.”

  “Honey, you can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

  “I know. But…please…”

  The man who’d been like her second father, despite the blame Gram had for him, frowned. Bushy salt and pepper brows drew tight. “Nikki—”

  “Please. If you want to help me, you’ll let me come to work.”

  After a long moment of appraising her, Chief nodded. He reached for her hand and squeezed. “I want you to talk to someone. Soon. Call tomorrow and set up an appointment.” He didn’t have to use the words psychologist or psychiatrist.

  “I actually think I will.”

  “Good.”

  They sat on the bed in his guest room in silence. It was companionable. Didn’t fix the hole in her chest, but it helped. A little.

  “Nikki, I wanted to talk to you about something. Not sure now’s the right time, though.”

  “I’m okay. Go ahead.”

  He met her eyes, taking a deep breath, as if this was difficult for him. That could only mean one thing—or person, as it were. Nikki swallowed back a gulp.

  “What was wrong with Crane tonight?”

  Her stomach flipped. Here goes. “What’d you mean?”

  Chief stared her down, hazel gaze intense, shrewd. “Did you have a fight?”

  Nikki smirked. “Not tonight.”

  “He wasn’t normal tonight, kiddo.” Her boss looked away for a moment, expression thoughtful. “I’ve known the man a long time. Seen him in many a stressful situation. He knows how to handle himself, and his business. Something was wrong tonight. Something happened. Something involving you.”

  She couldn’t play stupid. Chief had known her a long time, too. And he wasn’t referring to the shooting. “He did handle things tonight,” Nikki said, even though it wasn’t going to get her out of the third degree.

  “Right. But that’s not what I’m talking about.” We both know that went unsaid.

  She looked down. “It’s complicated.”

  Chief gently tilted her chin up, forcing her gaze to his. “Uncomplicate it for me.”

  Closing her eyes, Nikki took a breath. Words wouldn’t come.

  “Do you have feelings for him?” Chief asked.

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t say anything for a long time. Then her boss nodded.

  “Don’t try to tell me it’s like Stockholm Syndrome or that crap.” Nikki winced at her defensive tone.

  Chief’s moustache twitched as he fought a smile. “I didn’t say a word.”

  “So, you’re okay with it?” she whispered. “I know there’re rules…but Andi and Cole—”

  “Are not you and Pete Crane.”

  Nikki narrowed her eyes. “Is this really about Pete or is it about me?”

  The man sighed. “Both.”

  “I don’t need to ask your permission.” Besides, he doesn’t want me. So why am I telling you all this?

  “Detective Crane is a good man,” Chief Martin said finally, as if she hadn’t snapped.

  “Most of the time.” Except for tonight when he pushed me away. Nikki forced a nod, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. Being a good man hadn’t kept him from crushing her tonight.

  She stared at her boss who was so much more than just the man she worked for. It wasn’t like him to back off. So why wasn’t he laying into her about Pete? He couldn’t possibly be okay with it. He’d never liked a single one of the few boyfriends she’d had.

  “Try to clear your head before you make any decisions. You’ve been through too much. Nothing I ever wanted for you. It’ll be bad for a while. But eventually the nightmares will stop.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat.

  Shock and pain mixed with old loss hit her. Not the subject change she would have wanted, but Paul Martin was talking about his own nightmares. About her parents—something he never voiced. At least not to her.

  “You know I don’t blame you, right? I never have. I read all the articles, watched news clips, read police reports. It wasn’t your fault he killed them. Gram is wrong for the way she feels. And I’m grateful you’ve always been there for me, despite how she treats you. You never stopped coming to see me. Never missed a birthday. Gave me a job I love.”

  He made a choked noise and looked away.

  Nikki pulled back, studying his profile. This man was proud and stubborn. And about to break down. She’d never seen that her whole life. If she acknowledged it in any way, Paul Martin would be gruff with her. She didn’t want a wall between them. She loved him.

  Squeezing his hand, she smiled when he looked back at her, ignoring his misty eyes. “I think I can sleep now. Thank you.”

  Chief gave a curt nod.

  She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

  He stood, one corner of his mouth up. “So, work in the morning?”

  “Yes, sir. You have a meeting with the mayor.”

  Chief groaned. “What time?”

  “Noon, it’s a lunch meeting.”

  “Good.”

  “Good?”

  He smiled. “Y
up. We’re going in late.”

  Nikki managed a small laugh. “I won’t mind sleeping in. It’s been a long night.”

  When he retreated from the room, pain and sadness came back full force and she tried not to think about Pete.

  * * * *

  Pete looked at the beer and sighed. “Pretty sad you’re drinking at four p.m. on a Tuesday.” First time he’d heard a voice all day. Too bad it was his own. And besides, what the hell else did he have to do?

  Grounded. Benched.

  Administrative leave. Kurt Jamison, his friend and fellow detective, was heading the internal investigation. Expect to hear from him soon, and take it easy. Like a paid vacation, Kurt had joked.

  Yeah. Right.

  Jamison had said it was pretty straightforward, a formality—it’d only take a week or two to wrap things up. The guy would have to get with all the officers who’d been a part of the Health Solutions raid the night Luciano Marchetti had died.

  Their action in the incident wasn’t being pulled into question. But none of them were allowed to work. It meant a crapload of overtime for the rest of the department.

  Without work, a new case to keep Pete busy, Nikki haunted him. The look on her face when he’d let her go with Chief without a word. The hurt in her eyes.

  He hadn’t slept worth shit last night—this morning, since he’d not got home until after three. All he could see was Marchetti pointing a Beretta at her. Pulling the trigger. Pete panicking that they’d been too late.

  The feel of her in his arms afterward, remembering what it was like to hold her, kiss her, make love to her. Loss rolled over him in waves.

  You let her go.

  Pete might have only sent her home with someone else, but it felt final. Like breaking off a relationship they’d never actually defined. Besides, whenever he let Nikki out of his sight he put her in danger. It wasn’t logical to worry about her with his boss. Paul Martin had been a cop for over twenty years. He was far from stupid. Fully capable of protecting the woman Pete loved.

  Was he jealous?

  Nikki was in Pete’s bed, after all.

  Was, idiot. Was.

  “Fuck.” He dragged his hand down his face, ignoring the stubble on his cheeks. Why shave if he couldn’t go back to work?

  Dropping Lee off at DFW Airport a few hours ago had made things worse. Like a double hit to his gut. The case was over. He’d said goodbye to his temporary partner. No telling when he’d see her again. The bad guys were dead—no trial to come back and testify for like last time. When he’d asked if she had to leave so quickly, she’d just said if Antioch PD didn’t need her, her unit—her partner—did. She’d been the first one Kurt had interviewed.

  Nate hadn’t come to see her off. When Pete had called him, his brother had been moody and standoffish. He wouldn’t answer any questions about the lovely FBI agent.

  Lee had been normal, teasing and laughing with Pete all the way to Security when they’d had to part ways. She’d smiled and hugged him. So if she’d been affected by something that’d happened with Nate, she’d hidden it well.

  It’d really suck if both of the Crane boys had had total strikeouts with the women they cared about.

  No way, dude. Your sitch is on you.

  His eyes swept the living room. Nice furniture. Awesome TV. Pictures on the wall. Fireplace in the corner. But somehow, Pete’s heart was empty in the silence. Stuff didn’t fulfil him.

  He loved her. He missed her, no matter he’d seen her just the night before.

  Pete sighed. How could he have fallen for her so quickly? He’d vowed after Cara that love would never happen for him again. And it hadn’t—for ten long years.

  He hadn’t been a cloistered born-again virgin or anything. When internal shit had built up, he’d taken a lover from time to time, but the four months Liz had been around had been his longest tryst. Pete had known her for years, run into her at court, testified in cases she’d been on a few times.

  Attraction had turned into having drinks, which had wound its way into meaningless sex. It’d been good. But couldn’t hold a candle to the way Nikki made him feel.

  Sex with Nikki had turned into making love probably before time number two. The girl had him twisted up.

  Girl. Twenty-four for another two weeks.

  He was old, incapable of loving her the way she deserved. Besides, their boss would never condone it. Badge or ass, right?

  Was he a coward? Afraid, at thirty-five, that Nikki would crush him like Cara had? She’d wake up in his bed one morning and agree with him… He was too old for her, and she deserved better. Someone with a more positive outlook on life.

  He wasn’t a naïve kid anymore. She was, wasn’t she?

  The doorbell rang and he jumped, then swore at himself. He put the frosty bottle on the end table after a fortifying gulp. Yanking his white ribbed tank straight as soon as he hit his socked feet, he slunk to the door.

  So what if he wasn’t dressed for public consumption. At least he’d managed a pair of basketball shorts instead of just boxers.

  If it was Jamison to get Pete’s take on what’d happened, the guy would have to deal.

  His cell had rung a few times, but he’d not answered. Didn’t really want to talk to anyone.

  His heart hit overdrive when he opened the door, even though she greeted him with a glare, hands on her lovely hips. “Nikki, what—”

  Nikki rushed into his foyer after kicking front door shut. Her supple body slammed into his and she threw her arms around his neck.

  Kissing her was natural, without thought, and made him hard as a rock in about two seconds, despite the four beers. She pressed closer, forcing the kiss deeper, and Pete groaned into her mouth. Their tongues duelled and collided.

  She tasted as sweet as always. Addictive. He need more.

  He needed Nikki.

  Damn, they shouldn’t do this. What they’d had was over. He wasn’t good for her. But he wanted her. And hell, she’d started it.

  He pushed her against the closed door and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Her knee-length grey skirt bunched around her hips. His cock throbbed as she shoved her pelvis up, hitting him just right.

  “I want you,” Nikki breathed, rubbing her full breasts into his chest. Her nipples were hard buds and he hadn’t even touched her yet.

  Why? I hurt you. But the words wouldn’t form. He wouldn’t tell her that having her once more wouldn’t change his mind. They couldn’t be together. He ignored the voice that reminded him he’d never told her what he’d decided.

  Pete kissed her in answer, shoving into her mouth. She kissed him back, nibbling his bottom lip and sucking on his tongue as she yanked his thin shirt up. Her hands scorched his bare skin. His cock pounded. If he didn’t get inside her now, he was going to lose it in his pants.

  Her caress travelled down the small of his back and inside the waistband of his navy shorts. He shivered as she squeezed his ass.

  “No boxers?” Nikki asked, pulling away from their kiss. Her dark gaze was a mix of desire and amusement and Pete’s heart skipped.

  She was gorgeous, her high cheekbones flushed with colour, her red locks loose and mussed as they played around her shoulders.

  He groaned as her hand came around front, fingertips brushing his cock. He tried to shrug. “I’m benched. Why not?”

  Smirking, she tilted her head and he didn’t miss the invitation. Pete spread hot kisses down her neck. Working the buttons of her white blouse, he exposed more of her creamy skin, the curve of her breasts in the barely there red lacy bra. He sucked a hard bud into his mouth through the fabric.

  She whispered his name, leaning into him as he found her mouth again.

  His previous thoughts about why he couldn’t have her melted away. He shut his brain down and just felt. Nikki in his arms, her hot skin beneath his lips, floral perfume tickling his nose. Her breasts rubbing the cotton of his tank, her thinly covered sex against the fabric of his shor
ts.

  Not nearly enough.

  Nikki shoved his shorts off his hips. His cock was in her hand even before the material hit the hardwood floor. Air greeted his balls and a tremor racked him. Pete let her touch him, stroke him, biting back a moan. His blood sang.

  “Sweetness, you’re gonna make me—”

  She nipped his bottom lip and pulled her hand away. “No. Not like that.”

  He couldn’t agree more. He wanted inside her. Now. Pete reached for her panties, and Nikki wiggled, helping him divest her of the scrap of red lace. He kicked his shorts away so he wouldn’t trip.

  Chuckling, he held up the red thong. “Why bother?”

  Nikki grinned and his stomach flipped. “I like pretty panties. The skimpier, the better.”

  “I can’t complain.” He kissed her, cutting off her laugh.

  Moaning, she rocked her hips forward. Her stilettos hit the floor with echoing thuds. Then her bare heels dug into his ass.

  Pete thrust into her, sliding home on a grunt of his own. He intended to give her a moment to adjust, but Nikki moved with him immediately, burying her face against his neck.

  “I just want to feel,” she whispered, her breath teasing his overheated skin. She tightened her hold around him and shoved her pelvis up, making them both moan.

  The sex took over then and Pete drove into her over and over, until they were both covered in sweat and clutching at each other to stay upright against the door.

  When she whimpered and writhed, he grabbed her hips hard, propelling forward one last time. Nikki screamed and buried her hands in his damp hair, arching her back.

  Her core contracted and he bit his lip as his cock jolted inside her. She continued to rock in his arms, her body milking every ounce of his orgasm. He suppressed the shiver that threatened to shoot down his spine and locked his knees so he wouldn’t fall—or, worse, drop Nikki.

  When her legs slid to the floor, Pete held her tight. Harsh breathing from them both was the only thing that greeted his ears.

  Say something. Tell her how hot that was. Tell her what she does to you. How beautiful she is. Anything. Everything.

  Tell her you love her.

  But he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to Nikki. So he pulled her closer, ignoring how her breasts felt against him. Ignored how her hips felt against his softening, sensitive cock when he slipped from her core. Ignored how her scent teased his nose, and how her hair tickled his cheek.