Solving Us

by Susan Renee

  “Yes I’ve done this before, but, Olivia McGuire, there is nothing I love more than watching you experience something new for the first time. It’s my pleasure to be able to do this with you and for you.”

  “Thank you for this, Finn. I’m really looking forward to sharing the day with you; and if I forgot to say so, thank you for a most delicious breakfast.”

  “You’re welcome, and it’s far from over, Beautiful,” he says, kissing the back of my hand and laying it down in his lap.

  I spend the next half hour or so peering out the window and watching the landscapes change around me. The scenery below me of the countryside puts me in a trance that I don’t want to get out of. I feel like a kid in a candy store. I just can’t stop watching everything going on around me and below me. I lean my head against the window and close my eyes for a moment feeling more relaxed than I have felt in weeks. I start humming one of my favorite songs from my workout playlist.

  Finn squeezes my hand bringing my out of my relaxed trance.

  “What?”

  His smile is endearing. “Nothing. You’re just cute when you’re humming.”

  “Oh, sorry, I forgot you could hear me.”

  “Are you kidding? I love listening to you sing, especially when you don’t know I can hear you.” Finn wraps his arm around my shoulder as he winks at me.

  “Do you know that song? ‘Fly’ by Rihanna and Nicki Minaj?” I ask.

  “Nope, I don’t think so.”

  “It’s one of my favorites that I listen to on my morning runs. I guess flying in this helicopter made me think about it. What do you usually listen to on your runs? Do you have a favorite work-out song?”

  “I don’t have favorites necessarily. ‘Thunderstruck’ usually gets my blood pumping, I have some Green Day, some Metallica, Pitbull...I’m not usually too picky.”

  I smirk at Finn, thinking about what I would find on his playlist if I looked right now. “So, you have to have a guilty pleasure song that nobody knows about right? You know, that song that you don’t want to admit that you like...what is it?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, deadpanned.

  “Liar!” I poke Finn in his side making him jump and laugh. “Every guy has one; out with it!”

  After a minute of trying to hold back his smile, he looks at me guiltily and says, “‘Chasing Cars’, Snow Patrol.”

  “I love Snow Patrol! There’s no reason to be ashamed of that song; I love it.”

  “Can I tell you why I love it?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Ironically, it’s what was playing in my headphones when I first spotted you.”

  “Shut up.”

  “I’m not kidding. It was also one of Sydney’s favorite songs when she was in high school.”

  “Yeah, it was popular when I was in high school. In fact, it made it on the ballot for our prom song,” I say raising one eyebrow. “Not the best prom theme song, obviously, but didn’t matter anyway, I guess.”

  “Why didn’t it matter?” He asks curiously.

  I shrug. “Because I didn’t go to my junior prom.”

  “Why not? You had to have had a boyfriend.”

  “Yeah, but I had my accident right before my junior prom, so I never got to go.”

  “Right. Sorry, I didn’t realize it was that long ago. Wait - you had your accident during your junior year?”

  “Yeah, 2007,” I tell him, knowing that he’s now putting the pieces together. Sydney and I both had accidents in the same year of high school.

  We’re the same age, or would be if she were still alive.

  “Oh.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, Finn.”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “There’s no need. I just...I’m sorry I guess I never really put two and two together until just now.”

  “You couldn’t have. I didn’t tell you about my accident until last night.”

  “Yeah, I guess. It’s just all so - I don’t know, weird?”

  I nodded my head in acknowledgement. “I can agree with that.”

  Finn lets out a quick breath and half smiles to himself. “Is it weird, too, that sometimes I love the similarities between you both? You and Sydney, I mean? Not like I’m in love with my sister weird, but like, I feel her around me more and more when you’re around. Is that too weird for you?”

  “No. Not at all. I understand.”

  He wants to protect me because he couldn’t protect her.

  Finn squeezed my hand again. “Anyway, Sydney would listen to Snow Patrol over and over again. I used to get sick of it. Now that she’s gone…”

  “You listen to it all the time. I totally get it.”

  “Mm-hmm. It just doesn’t get old anymore. Anyway…”

  “Tell me a happy memory of her. Something fun you guys did together.”

  He looks out his window quickly before looking back to answer me. “The X-Men,” he smirks. “God love her, Sydney was never a super princess girly girl. Movies were something we could do together. She loved Harry Potter, and she loved when I took her to see the first X-Men movie. She was ten when we saw the first one together. We would rent them when we could and sit at home pigging out on graham crackers and Hershey bars.”

  I throw Finn a questioning glance. “You mean s’mores?”

  “Haha. No. Syd didn’t like marshmallows, but she always thought the idea of s’mores would be fun, so she would make Hershey bar sandwiches with graham crackers. Messy as hell because of all the crumbs, but I have to admit, they were damn good! “

  “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

  “Yeah.” We both sit quietly holding each other’s gaze before Finn looks over my shoulder out my window. “We’re here, Beautiful. Look out your window, and get your camera ready,” he says, sitting up and pointing out my side of the helicopter.

  I kiss Finn’s cheek quickly and then scoot over to get a better look out my window. We are flying over my surprise of the day, and

  It.

  Is.

  Breathtaking.

  The white fleece blanket of fog rolling through the air is like something I have never seen before. Flying high enough from it that our pilot will be able to safely maneuver the helicopter, we are able to look down and watch the fog envelop the entire first half of the Golden Gate Bridge. As the fog continues to cover the bridge, it looks as though all of California, at least all that we can see, has slipped smoothly into the ocean, covered by waves of white. I quickly ready my camera and snap as many shots as I can. Within minutes, the fog is completely covering the bridge, but I can still clearly see the tops of the two bridge towers.

  “This view - Finn, this view is incredible!” My face is plastered as close to the window as I can get. I swear, if the helicopter door were open right now, Finn would have to hold my feet just to keep me inside.

  “Isn’t it? It’s one of my favorite things to see when I’m out here on the West Coast.”

  “How many times have you done this? Come to see the fog I mean?”

  “This is my third trip. The other times were with my Dad. Once from the air, and once from land. It’s incredible either way.”

  “I don’t doubt it. Holy Shit! Finn, this is amazing! Thank you for showing this to me!” I turn my body back in Finn’s direction, grab his face, and plant the biggest most endearing kiss on his lips before leaning back to share my smile with him. “This is something I’ll never forget. This has to be on that list of one hundred things to see before you die, don’t you think?” I say excitedly.

  “Haha. Well if it’s not, I guess we better send a letter to the publisher of that list, but let’s not plan on dying anytime soon. We have many more experiences to have together, and more things to see today. You ready?”

  “I’m ready for anything, Finn.” I can’t keep the smile from my face. I feel so blessed to be able to share in these kind of experiences with the man I love and with the man who loves me in return.r />
  22

  Finn: “She Is” - Lady Antebellum

  This song makes me think of you. You’re a little of everything, and I want everything you are. Love you.

  He always makes me blush.

  “Earth to Olivia,” Abby says from across the table. We are enjoying a quick lunch date since I was in California for so long. We really needed to catch up after everything that had happened between Finn and me, since we hadn’t gotten to talk much before I left town.

  “Sorry.” I smile. “Just a text from Finn.”

  “Yeah, I can tell by your googly eyes, Miss Lovestruck Puppy. I take it the weekend turned out okay since I never heard from you, and you were gone longer than anticipated.”

  “It was a bit of an intense start, but um, yeah everything is great now. I’m really glad he flew out to see me. It makes me nauseous to think of how things could have ended up between us.”

  “No shit, sister; you should’ve seen him here that night. Olivia, he was a fucking mess of tears when he couldn’t contact you. He had no idea where you were; I had no idea where you were. He was freaking out that you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere. It was all I could do to not have him call the police...or your parents.”

  “Oh God! My parents! They don’t know, do they? Nobody called them?”

  “No, not that I know of. You haven’t even told them about Finn yet, have you? I certainly didn’t want to freak them out.”

  “They know about Finn but they don’t know how serious it is or isn’t. I haven’t really talked to them about it. I haven’t talked to my parents in the last couple weeks, actually. I need to check in with them.”

  “Sooo, spill it, Girly. What happened in sunny California?”

  I take a deep breath and then a bite of my grilled chicken salad before answering. “Well, I spent the day at the winery working. After supper, I walked back to my bungalow, pretty much drowning in my sorrows and an entire bottle of wine, and there he was, waiting for me on my porch, trying to decide if he had the courage to knock I think.”

  “Yeah.” Abby takes a drink of her Diet Coke, nodding. “Once I had talked to you and knew you were safe in Chicago, he wanted to go there immediately; but I had to convince Finn that by the time he would get there you would be on your next flight. So, he waited until morning and borrowed a friend’s private jet to make the direct flight to you. Seriously, girl, I’ve never seen a guy so consumed with his feelings for someone that he would fly across the country, not knowing how things were going to work out. It was like Superman had lost Lois Lane or something.”

  I nod my head at Abby’s last statement. “I know. He really feels like he failed Sydney in her darkest time of need, which is bullshit, but he’s not ready to hear that. Anyway, so he shows up and forces me to listen to his explanation of Toby. I’m screaming back at him about how I’m just a hot mess of a person. He gets upset that I must not think highly of him, at which point I try to prove him wrong by tearing off my dress and standing in the middle of the bungalow in just my underwear.”

  “What?!” Abby almost spits out her drink. “Oh my God Olivia! That’s HOT! Keep going…and then what?”

  I sigh, taking another bite of my salad. “I stood there crying my eyes out because I thought he had left.”

  “Wait, so he didn’t leave at all?”

  I shake my head. “No. When I opened my eyes, he was there, kneeling before me, mapping out my scars like they were a maze or something. After that…” I shrug and take a sip of my drink, like what I just said was no big deal, even though I know better than to shrug at my best friend.

  Abby looks at me from across the table after I don’t continue with my story. The blush on my face can’t hide my secret, though. Abby is too good. “I knew it!” Abby says, dropping her fork. She looks at the smirk on my face, smiles back at me, and leans forward towards me as close as she can get. “You finally fucked him didn’t you?”

  “We didn’t fuck, Abby. That’s really not the right word for what we did because it was the most passionate, loving, intimate moment we have shared since we’ve been together. The way he makes me feel, Abs…”

  “I know, Liv. You don’t have to explain. I can see it in your face. I can see it on his when he talks about you. You finally let him see beneath your beautiful.”

  My head snaps up and I gasp, “What?”

  “What? Did I say something wrong?”

  “No.” I smile, shaking my head. “Not at all; it’s just ironic that you said that because as he started touching my scars that night, that song came on the radio in our room. ‘Beneath Your Beautiful’. Remember that song?”

  Abby’s eyebrows shoot up, and she gives me the look that says she’s impressed. “Well, Olivia, maybe that’s your theme song. It fits you. It fits both of you, come to think of it.”

  “Yeah.” I start to thinking about the lyrics of the song and how they pertain to Finn and me. Abby is right. The song is perfect for us.

  “Okay, so you had lots of sex. Is that all you did for the past five days? I mean it is Monday, and you left last Tuesday night for Pete’s sake. Dang, girl, you have to be sore!”

  I tilt my head and look at Abby disapprovingly before laughing. “Of course not. He took me for a helicopter ride to San Francisco so I could photograph the Golden Gate Bridge covered in fog. It was breathtaking! Then we landed in San Fran, took a trolley ride around town, and shopped for the day. Typical touristy things. We spent a day in Los Angeles and a day on the beach before heading back east. It was really a great mini vacation and just the time that we needed.”

  “I’m so happy for you, Liv. You deserve this, ya know. After all you’ve been through, I hope you’re happy, Babe, because I really am happy for you, and Finn, too, but...you’re my bestie so…”

  I smile endearingly at Abby and grab her hand. “Thanks, Abs. Really. I always feel guilty that you’re the friend who has to put up with my relationship drama all the time; but then the more I think about it, the more relieved I am that it’s you. You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else.”

  “Hoes before bros, Liv. Remember that.”

  “HA! I will; I promise. Let’s get out of here; I have a mountain of work to catch up on.”

  “Right behind ya. I have a design to finish myself for a client, so don’t be surprised if I’m a little late getting home.”

  I split from Abby on our walk back to our respective office buildings and head inside to settle in for the afternoon. Before getting into the elevator in my building, I pull my phone out of my purse quickly to shoot a text to Finn. I’m pretty sure he won’t know the song title I’m texting him, but I also know he’ll look it up.

  Me: “Kissin’ U” by Miranda Cosgrove because you’re the

  puzzle piece I’ve been trying to find.

  Smiling as I enter the elevator, I ride up to my office floor feeling content and happy with my life for the first time in weeks. I have a great guy in my life who goes out of his way to take care of me, a best friend who helps me through life and all it has to offer me, a fantastic apartment, and the best job I can ask for with a lot of growing potential in my future. Bring it on world; today I’m feeling like an untouchable million bucks!

  I step off the elevator and head down the hall towards my office. Karen is standing at the end of the hall, which would seem like a normal thing to do, except that she is peeking around the doorway to my office like she is watching someone or trying to see what’s going on without actually walking in. It’s almost humorous in that weird, creepy sort of way. She turns her head in my direction, no doubt hearing my shoes tap across the floor startling her, and causing her to drop the file she was holding onto the floor.

  She looks like a scene out of some weird movie or something, and I try hard not to laugh at her because I have no idea what’s going on.

  “Karen? Are you okay?”

  “Uh, yes. Fine. Thank you,” she says quickly scooping up her papers and
stuffing them back in her file folder. Seriously, this is the weirdest behavior I think I have seen from an adult in a long time.

  “Were you looking for Mandy? Is she not in there? You’re welcome to go in, ya know.”

  “No, no. I mean, yes I was looking for Mandy. Um, she and I just...um...had a tiff this morning, that’s all. I was just checking on her. You know, to make sure she was okay,” she says dismissively. “Anyway, how was your trip, Olivia? I heard things at the winery went very well.”

  Do not blush. Do not blush. Do not blush.

  “Yeah everything went great. I had a great time. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor are fantastic, enthusiastic clients. I’m excited to show them my campaign - that is, when I finish it, which I need to get started on, so if you’ll excuse me.” I pass Karen and step into the doorway of my office. I turn back to Karen, quickly remembering why she was there in the first place.

  “Don’t worry, Karen. Whatever it is with Mandy, I’m sure she’ll be fine. I’ll talk to her if you want.”

  “No, don’t!” Karen exclaims.

  Geez, woman. Slow your roll!

  “I mean, no thank you; it’s fine. She’s fine, I’m sure. I don’t want her to know I was checking up on her. You know, she’ll just think I’m a hovering mom anyway.”

  “Right. Yeah, I get it. Lips are sealed. Gotta get to work.” I watch Karen take a deep breath almost calming herself and then turn to walk back down the hall.

  “Yeah, me, too. Thanks,” I hear her say.

  I walk over to my desk and throw my purse in my desk drawer. I open my laptop and file of photos from the winery so I can get started with my campaign design.

  “Hey, Mandy, you over there?” I call from my side of the cubicle wall that separates our two work stations.

  “Yep!” I hear her say. “What’s up?”

  “I just saw your mom in the hallway. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Umm, no reason. She just...didn’t seem herself I guess.”

  “Huh. That’s weird. She seemed fine when I saw her an hour ago.”