Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series)

by Michelle Irwin

  “Are you sure you really want to know? I don’t think the specifics are important.”

  “Like fuck they aren’t.” I needed to know whether I just needed to hurt Dad, or whether I needed to murder the fucker.

  “All I know is that he was in the bathroom when she got out of the shower,” she said. Then added in a guilty rush, “I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding though. He said he’d only just walked in.”

  “Misunderstanding, my arse,” I whispered with barely contained rage.

  Mum rested her hand over mine, no doubt trying to show me some support. “After that, Alyssa never felt comfortable here with him around. I never questioned her, not if it meant I still got to see her and Phoebe.”

  The only sound I could hear was the grinding of my teeth. Mum’s words were a reminder that I hadn’t only left Alyssa behind. The more I learned about the way things had been at home, the more I regretted my actions. It was no wonder Mum hadn’t gone out of her way tell me the truth about it all. It wasn’t the sort of thing she could just say over the phone.

  Dad, the dirty prick, was getting around with a scrag younger than I was. Who knew what other fuckery he’d gotten up to over the years. My fingers curled into fists at the thought. My hold on my temper was tenuous at best. It took everything I had to keep my heart rate under control. Any additional revelations would push me over the edge. Without another word, I turned and walked away from Mum to my room.

  Halfway down the hallway, I stopped. I didn’t turn around to look at Mum when I spoke. “You will leave him. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Mum didn’t say anything.

  Closing my eyes and releasing a frustrated breath, I spun back toward her. “You deserve better than the way he’s treated you.”

  Without waiting for an answer, I turned around again and headed for my room. As I walked down the hallway, I passed a framed photo of us as a family. It was taken in my senior year, about three months before I left for Sydney. The three of us were all fucking smiles and happy family.

  It was a fucking lie.

  I yanked it off the wall and hurled it at the other side of the hallway. The glass sliced into the photo, scraping a line down my fuckwad father’s face and halfway through my own.

  Burning from within, I moved to my room and slammed the door closed. Leaning against the wooden surface, I took a few breaths in a useless attempt to calm myself. The fact was my words to Mum were as fit for me as they were for Dad. Alyssa deserved better than the way I’d treated her in the last four years. Better than I’d treated her just that morning. Growling as my frustration bubbled over, I punched the wall. The crunch of plasterboard beneath my fist didn’t satisfy my need to break something.

  Kicking away from the door, a primal cry flew from my lips. Without a thought, I grabbed the box on my bed and dropped it against the closed door. I ripped the doona off my bed and threw it to one side before twisting to yank the drawers out of the bureau, hurling them across the room one by one. Clothes went flying in all directions.

  Still burning with the need to punish myself, my dad, everyone, I pushed the bureau over and kicked the side. It was the punishment my father deserved. The punishment I deserved. I took every ounce of it out on my room.

  By the time I was finished, my clothes were strewn across the room, splinters of wood from the bureau covered the floor and bed, and the wall bore three new fist-shaped holes.

  Panting with the effort of tearing my room apart, a need built in me to get out. I needed to see Alyssa. I needed to apologise to her for my father, for me, for everything.

  Grabbing any clothes I could get my hands on, I threw them into an old bag I found at the back of my closet. Then I found an outfit to change into and headed for the traitorous bathroom.

  Even as I entered the room, I felt sick as I wondered what the hell Alyssa had been through in there. Had Dad been spying on her? My stomach roiled at the thought.

  After I’d showered and dressed as quickly as I could, I grabbed the bag I’d packed and headed for the door. Mum wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but I figured she was probably hiding from the sounds of my rage. Regardless, I wouldn’t come back again until it was absolutely necessary.

  CHAPTER TWELVE: A CHANGE

  WHEN I REACHED the Barina, I jumped inside and just drove, not thinking about where I was going. Instead, my mind was stuck in the past. Stuck on Dad and his whores. Stuck on the countless women I’d been with, and how I was no better than him. Stuck on the future, and Eden’s visit. She’d been my unexpected ally and saviour when it came to my job. She’d always hated what I did. It wasn’t just the drugs she protested against either. She’d been vocal about the girls, about the alcohol, and about my lack of respect for myself.

  I had no doubt Mum had filled her in on everything that had happened since I’d arrived back in Brisbane and about Alyssa. I had no fucking clue why Eden was flying up, but I was certain I would get the third degree about everything live and in person as soon as she arrived.

  Which left one question: should I subject Alyssa to that? Eden could be very full on, and I could only imagine she was already picturing herself as Alyssa’s best friend just because of what Alyssa meant to me. It would be easier to introduce Alyssa and Eden on Alyssa’s terms, and not on the Friday afternoon before our big fucking date. If our big fucking date was even still on.

  The more I thought of it, the more annoyed I grew that Eden had picked that night of all nights to come to Brisbane for a flash visit. She had to have known what was happening for my date. There wasn’t much that happened at Sinclair Racing at all without her knowledge. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she was Danny’s fucking daughter or something. But it was common knowledge that Danny and his wife, Hazel, had been unable to have children.

  In the end, it was the thought that Eden was almost certainly hoping to get the inside scoop on Alyssa that made my mind up. It was too much to ask of Alyssa to put up with that after everything else. I decided I’d go meet Eden, but I wouldn’t introduce her to Alyssa. At least, not yet. Maybe I could convince Eden to come back again before Christmas, after Phoebe knew the truth and things were a little more . . . settled.

  If they get settled.

  Pulling the car over on the side of whatever the fuck street I was on, I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. A little less than an hour had passed since I’d left Mum’s house, almost three since I’d left Alyssa’s. Yet, Alyssa hadn’t called despite my note. I wondered what it meant. The thought caused a flurry of questions to race each other in my mind.

  Should I call her? Or did she not want me to? Was that why she hadn’t called yet? Or was that fucker Flynn still there? Had he convinced her not to call me? Had he convinced her not to see me anymore? My heart thumped painfully at the thought. Before I had a chance to think it over or panic, I pulled out my phone and called the mobile number Mum had given me.

  “Hello?” Alyssa said, her voice high-pitched and her breathing ragged.

  “Hi,” I replied timidly. I didn’t know what reaction to expect.

  “Dec,” she breathed. “God, are you all right?”

  “I am now.” It was amazing how much calmer I felt just listening to her voice.

  “What the hell was that this morning?”

  “I’m sorry, Lys. I just . . . I saw you in his arms and I just . . . I—I just couldn’t cope.” I hung my head as I acknowledged that fact.

  “Gah, you have to stop this being jealous of Flynn bullshit. Don’t you see I have no interest in him outside of friendship? And I’ve already explained that he has zero interest in me in that way.”

  “It’s not a matter of me being worried that he’s trying to fuck you.”

  “Nice.” Her voice was full of venom and raised in anger.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that. It’s just . . . well, he’s living the life I should be fucking living. It should be me there to comfort you when you are upset. It should be my name on the
fucking birth certificates.”

  She was silent. I knew why. There was only one thing she could say and it was sure to inflame the conversation even more. It was my fault I wasn’t living that life.

  “Look, can we just fucking start over? Hey, Lys. How are you, I’m okay for now, but I really want to see you.”

  She giggled a little. “I can’t today, Dec. I have to work.”

  “Work?”

  “Yeah, it’s what those of us who don’t have million-dollar contracts do to afford mortgages, food, and clothing.”

  “Smart-arse,” I said. “I just meant you haven’t mentioned it before.”

  “It’s a part-time job in the local shop, hardly worth discussing.”

  I got a picture of Alyssa in a cute little outfit behind the check-out of the corner store we used to go to. I smiled at the image. “So check-out chick to world-class lawyer.”

  “Actually, we prefer the term product-currency transfer supervisors,” she joked.

  “That’s a mouthful.” I laughed.

  “Better to be a mouthful than a handful.”

  I almost choked on the laughter as I processed what she’d said. I heard her laughter on the other end of the line.

  “I really am sorry I left like I did this morning,” I said, knowing it would drag the mood down, but feeling that it absolutely had to be said.

  “Why don’t you come around tonight?” she asked. “I finish work at seven thirty.”

  “I can’t, I have a teammate flying in from Sydney to meet up with me before they start preparations for Bahrain.”

  “Oh,” she said, and I could hear the disappointment in her voice. The sound was like music to my ears.

  “But I’ll be there first thing in the morning to pick you up.”

  “Is your Mum still ’right to look after Phoebe?”

  “Umm, I’ll have to check . . .” I trailed off.

  “What did you do?”

  In response to her question, I squeezed my eyes shut. I was so fucking sick of everyone always assuming the worst of me. Maybe in this instance it was warranted, but the assumption still pissed me off. “I’ll check with her, but I’ll be there tomorrow morning to pick you up regardless.”

  “Okay, Dec, I’ll trust you to arrange it.” It sounded like that trust was resting on thin ice.

  “I’ll be there early. Get a good night’s sleep ’cause it’s going to be a long day.”

  “And you won’t tell me where we are going?”

  I smiled. “Of course not.”

  “Fine. Be like that.” I could hear the pout in her voice.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lys.”

  “Okay, Dec.”

  “And Lys?”

  “What?”

  “I love you.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up the phone.

  It was the second time I’d confessed my feelings with her knowing I wasn’t drunk, and it was the second time she hadn’t said anything back. I dwelled on the implications for a few minutes before deciding I would simply have to show her a fucking fantastic time tomorrow so she wouldn’t be able to resist telling me. I didn’t care if it was too soon after we’d decided to try again, because it was the truth. Why hide behind bullshit and lie about how I feel just because someone else dictated that the timing was wrong? More than that, I was sure she did love me, at least on some level, even if she couldn’t admit it. I’d fucked up and been forgiven once too often for her not to feel something. Not that it gave me free rein to fuck up anymore.

  Before I did anything else though, I needed to go and do some more apologising.

  I pulled up in front of Mum’s house—I refused to think of the idiot who was my father at all anymore—and took a deep breath. It was time to pull on my big boy pants and get my fucking arse in the house and apologise to Mum.

  I knocked softly. When there was no answer, I used the key to unlock the door. Walking into the house, I looked around for Mum but I couldn’t see her anywhere. I passed the portrait in the hall; it was still exactly as I’d left it. Taking care not to cut myself, I picked up the fragments of glass and carried them to the bin. Then I moved the picture so that it was leaning up against the hallway, turning it so that our faces, frozen in perfect smiles, were staring at the wall. I listened out for any noise to indicate that Mum was home. I heard nothing at first but slowly I noticed a soft, rhythmic sobbing sound echoing down the hall from under Mum’s bedroom door.

  I knocked softly on the door. “Mum?”

  I heard a clatter and a few bangs before Mum opened the door. Her turquoise eyes conveyed a deep sorrow I’d never seen before. She blinked a few times at me before her face fell into a smile. It was almost believable, but the sorrow in her gaze gave her away.

  “I’m sorry, Mum,” I said, hanging my head. I was ready for her to yell and scream at me for destroying her house.

  She sighed and ruffled her hand through my hair before using it to lift my chin so that I’d meet her eyes. “You have nothing to apologise for. You have been under so much stress lately. I’m surprised it took you this long to snap.”

  “I’m not just apologising for that”—I lifted my hand and pointed to my room’s closed door—“I’m saying I’m fucking sorry for everything that I did before I left, for everything that happened when I was in Sydney. I abandoned you, and I abandoned Lys, and I’m fucking sorry for it all.”

  “I think we all made mistakes in the last few years. Let’s just move past it, shall we?” Her smile widened a little but it still wasn’t believable. I could sense that she wanted to drop the conversation though.

  “Fine, if that’s what you want.”

  She nodded.

  “I have to go out tonight. Eden is flying to Brisbane and wants me to show her around.”

  “Eden is coming?”

  “Yeah. She’s not staying though, she’s just here for the night. But you already knew this didn’t you?” I still figured Mum and Eden were orchestrating something.

  Mum shook her head. “No. I really didn’t. I mean, I rang her this morning when no one knew where you were and your phone was engaged. But I just wanted to know if she’d heard from you.”

  “Well, obviously she’s decided I need to talk, or some shit. I’m not sure. She’s only getting in sometime between five thirty and six so I don’t know how late I’ll be. To be honest, I’ll probably just crash with Eden at the hotel if the night goes the way they usually do.”

  “Okay.”

  I nodded. “Are you still all right to look after Phoebe tomorrow though?”

  She smiled widely, and for the first time I believed it. The difference between the genuine smile and the one she’d worn earlier was remarkable. “Definitely. In fact, I’m looking forward to it. I might have to clean up a little first.”

  “Let me do it,” I offered.

  She laughed. “You? Clean?”

  I grinned in response. “Well, let me pay for someone to clean it.”

  She waved her hand to dismiss me. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll give me something to do while I rattle about the house on my own.”

  I kissed her forehead. “You’re too good to me.”

  She shooed me out of her room.

  “Oh, and that package from Danny? I’ll need that in the morning.” I chuckled to myself. I knew Mum would have seen the contents by now.

  “Declan, you’re not taking Alyssa—”

  I cut her off. “Yep, I sure am.”

  “Well, that should be interesting.”

  “I know.” I grinned as I said goodbye and headed back out the door.

  I’d barely made it to the Barina before my phone rang. When I checked the screen I didn’t recognise the number. For a moment, I was going to ignore it, but decided I needed to find out who it was while I still had a few hours up my sleeve.

  “Mr. Reede? It’s Brenton from Eastern Smash Repairs. I’m calling to let you know that your vehicle is ready to be collected.”

&nb
sp; My mouth split into a grin. It could have been a trap by Flynn to draw me into an argument, but I really doubted he’d let his company’s name be dragged in the mud just to have a go at me. “When can I come in?”

  “Whenever you are free, sir.”

  “I told you, just call me Declan. I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  FLYNN WASN’T at the repair shop when I arrived. Brenton, the receptionist I’d met the day I’d dropped the car off, completed all the paperwork, took the payment, and handed over the keys. I was actually a little relieved that I didn’t have to deal with either of the Olson brothers.

  After I had the keys in my hand, I inspected the repairs and had to admit, albeit begrudgingly, that they’d actually done a good job. It was impossible to tell where the scratch had been and the mirror was firmly in place. Then I moved the car seat from the hired Barina back into the Monaro—with a little help from Brenton.

  Sliding back in behind the wheel of my baby felt like coming home. For a moment, I just sat and absorbed it all. The smell of the leather seats filling the cabin, the feel of the wheel beneath my hands. I traced my fingertips along the dashboard and issued a contented sigh.

  It put me in such a positive frame of mind that I got a new urge to see Alyssa, even if she couldn’t spend any time with me.

  I’D BEEN to three local shops and still hadn’t found Alyssa. I glanced at the clock and figured I had time to check one more before I really needed to get a move on to go pick Eden up at the airport.

  At the fourth, I had some success. When I walked through the door, I spotted her behind the counter, smiling and chatting animatedly with the customers she was serving. I stood back, where she couldn’t see me, and watched her for a while. It was nice to see her that way—happy and seemingly carefree. Every now and then though, between customers, she would glance at her hands with a look of concern on her face. I wondered if it was me causing the worry that marred her features or something else.

  When I’d made my decision to find Alyssa, I didn’t have a plan for a particular conversation in mind. I just knew I needed to see her again before I went into the city for a night out. I needed to capture and carry with me a fresh memory of her perfect honey-gold eyes, of the curl of her lips, and of the way she lit me up from the inside.