Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series)

by Michelle Irwin

  “Really, Declan? You don’t think I realised that from the voice mail she left me? Or the fact that she changed the locks? Or maybe the fact that she drained our savings account?” His voice was full of sarcasm. Then he dropped his head. “I just need to talk to her. To work this out.” His voice was broken, despondent.

  I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

  If I didn’t think he would only be faithful as long as it suited him, I might have found a solution to help him, but I knew his type.

  I also remembered his words at the cafe and what happened with Hayley. The look on Mum’s face and the pain in her voice when she spoke about what happened between them. Most importantly, I remembered what he’d done to Alyssa.

  I took a deep breath. “I am going to give you three seconds to get the fuck out of here.”

  “Declan, I need to talk to your mother.”

  “One!”

  “This isn’t all my fault, I just want her to listen—”

  “Two!” I roared, cutting him off. I clenched and released my fists in anger.

  “It’s never mattered before.”

  Launching myself at him, I grabbed the cuff of his shirt and pressed him into the door. Tears of rage pricked my eyes as I allowed the emotions I felt to flow through me. I was in his face, screaming, “How dare you say that, you sick son of a bitch! Does the fact that you have a family at home not matter? How can you come home at night extolling the virtues of fucking respect when you have none yourself?”

  He cowered against the screen door.

  “How many were there?” I asked, my voice dropping low and dripping with venom. The hatred I felt for him rose in my throat like bile.

  He shook his head and raised his hands protectively.

  “How many?” I shouted. No doubt all the neighbours up and down the street could hear me, but I didn’t care. I raised my fist to force an answer, but was distracted by the wooden door behind the security screen opening just a crack. Mum’s face appeared through the mesh.

  “Declan, don’t,” she whispered. Her face was streaked with tears, and it looked like she hadn’t slept all night.

  “What the fuck, Mum? Are you going to defend him now?”

  She shook her head, her eyes never leaving my face. “No, but I don’t want you to fight with him,” she whispered, her gaze steadfastly ignoring the shape of my father’s head in front of her.

  I used my grip on his collar as leverage to twist him away. I threw him onto the grass before shoving his suitcase after him with my foot.

  “Go back inside, Mum,” I ordered.

  “Declan . . .,” she started with a voice laced with worry.

  “Just shut the door. I’ll deal with this.”

  “Please, don’t,” I heard her whisper behind me.

  I turned back to look at her. “I won’t do anything stupid,” I reassured her. “I just have to get rid of him.”

  She nodded and closed the door.

  I walked over to where my father was lying prone on the ground. Nothing remained in him of the man I’d once admired and loved.

  “Get up,” I hissed, nudging his side with my foot.

  He pulled himself into a sitting position.

  “Get up!” I screamed.

  He scrambled to his feet.

  “Now fuck off and never come back. Leave Mum alone.”

  “What if she wants me back?” he challenged, even as he grabbed his suitcase and backed toward his car.

  “Then I will be advising her to go see a fucking shrink.” I stalked in his footsteps, my fists clenched tightly at my side. It took everything in me to allow him to walk away unscathed.

  He threw his suitcase into the back of the car before climbing into the driver seat and winding down his window. “You’ll never understand,” he spat at me.

  I reached into the car and stopped him from turning the ignition. “You’re right . . . I never will. Because I couldn’t imagine ever hurting Alyssa that way.”

  “You think you have it all worked out, don’t you?”

  “No. But I have it worked out a damn sight better than you do,” I murmured, preparing to pull my arm from the car and let him go. I was going to be the bigger man, I wasn’t going to let violence or alcohol be my first resort anymore. For Alyssa and Phoebe, I would be the bigger man.

  “That slut will take your money and leave you dry.” His voice was so soft I almost missed what he said, but it registered enough for my elbow to snap back sharply into his nose. I listened with satisfaction to the wet sounding crunch as it connected.

  Although I wasn’t going to let violence rule my life, I wasn’t about to let him trash talk Alyssa that way either.

  I pulled my arm back out of the car and watched as he clutched one hand to his nose.

  “You’re fucking crazy,” he said as he switched on the ignition.

  “Yeah,” I scoffed. “I get that shit from my father.”

  “Mark my words, boy, you will regret this. I . . .” He stopped himself short, glancing at the damage I had caused in the rear-view mirror. “God, to think I was about to throw it all away . . . for you,” he muttered into the hand he held up to his nose to stem the bleeding.

  I didn’t want to listen to any more of his bullshit and lies. “Just fuck off, and stay away this time.”

  He scowled at me before pulling out of the drive. Unable to resist, I stuck my middle finger up at his car as it retreated into the distance.

  Covering the distance back to the front door, I knocked lightly on the screen.

  “Mum?” I called out. “He’s gone.”

  The wooden door opened and Mum stood in front of me. She looked terrible as she unlocked the screen door. Her eyes were red-rimmed with huge black bags circling underneath them, her skin was pasty and white, and her always-perfect auburn hair was dishevelled. She handed me a key.

  “I . . . I changed the locks.”

  “Good.” I nodded as I gave her appearance another quick assessment. “Are you going to be all right?”

  She nodded.

  “How long was he there for?”

  “Most of the night. I told him to leave, but he wouldn’t. He said he would stay as long as he needed to until I spoke to him again.”

  My mouth twisted and I frowned at the fact that she’d let him hassle her all night. “You should have called me.”

  She shook her head. “You were with Alyssa. It’s important that you two sort through everything. I need to know that you two at least are okay before I leave.”

  I grabbed her hands in my own, and my face broke into an involuntary smile. “We’re better than okay. Mum, it’s great,” I gushed. Then I continued, my voice dropping lower, “In fact . . . we told Phoebe last night.”

  She looked shocked. “So soon.”

  “Why wait?” I asked with a shrug. “I wouldn’t want to lie to her. I know how that bullshit feels. And I think Lys gets that.”

  Mum looked away. “I’m sorry for the mistakes I’ve made, Declan. I should have tried harder to tell you about Alyssa and the twins.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t. The truth is I probably wouldn’t have listened. I certainly wouldn’t have been ready to know. To be honest, I probably would have run a mile if I’d found out differently. It sucks that I’ve missed so much of Phoebe’s life, but . . .” I raked my hand through my hair. “I feel like I’m in a better place now, you know?”

  She touched her finger to my chin. “I can see that, I think anyone could see how good Alyssa and Phoebe are for you.”

  “What can I say?” I said as a loopy grin formed on my lips. “They’re my girls.”

  Mum smiled through her obvious exhaustion.

  “If he comes back, call me. Anytime. Alyssa will understand.” I patted her back gently. “Now go to bed,” I ordered softly, kissing her cheek. I turned my back to her, walking toward the kitchen to get some breakfast.

  She laughed. “Look at you, Mr. Responsible.”

  With a grin on
my face, I shrugged and continued on my way. When she’d headed to bed, I fixed myself my favourite delicacy—vegemite toast. Holding one piece of toast in my mouth, I carried the other in my hand and went to the living room. Leaning my toast on my knee, I sat on the couch and flicked on the TV. I couldn’t get into anything that was on. Weekday morning TV held little that interested me, especially when my head was filled with thoughts of Alyssa and Phoebe.

  With the mood I was in, I doubted even motorsport would’ve held my attention. Instead, I allowed the drone of the TV to fill my mind as I clutched my phone, anxiously waiting for Dr. Henrikson’s call. Once he’d called, I would shower, change, and head back to Alyssa’s arms. I trailed my hand through my hair as the time ticked by so goddamn slowly.

  When my phone finally started to vibrate, I had it to my ear almost before the first ring could escape.

  “Doc!” I almost shouted down the line, excitement ringing in my tone. I couldn’t wait to tell him about my weekend and everything that happened between Alyssa, Phoebe and me.

  “Declan,” he greeted cautiously. “You seem particularly cheerful this morning.”

  “Fuck, Doc, why wouldn’t I be? The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and I’m in love with two beautiful girls.”

  “So I’m guessing you talked with Alyssa after our phone call on Friday.”

  “Yeah, Doc. We talked.” I couldn’t help the double entendre that came through when I said the last word, but visions of the weekend and everything Alyssa and I had done came into my mind. I considered how much had changed between us in just a few short days. On Friday, I would have thought it would be months before we’d enjoy that kind of fun. There were still so many obstacles for us to overcome, but at least it seemed like she was on my side now. Or more specifically, that we’d formed our own side.

  “Why don’t you tell me about that conversation?”

  “I don’t know what to say, but we talked, we had fun, we both got some things out of our system.” I was trying to will away the erection that was building quickly as I thought about the type of things Alyssa and I got out of our system. It was highly inappropriate for me to be talking to my shrink with a raging boner, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “What did you talk about?”

  “About everything.”

  I spent my hour on the phone giving him the clean version of the weekend, all the while the real events played over and over in my head. Halfway through the call, I moved from the comfortable confines of the couch and headed to my room to start packing a fresh bag of clothes. I threw all the ones from my night in the hotel with Eden and my weekend with Alyssa into the clothes hamper. I wasn’t sure what Alyssa would have to say about me staying at her house for a few days, but figured it couldn’t hurt to pack for it . . . just in case.

  I sat on the bed just as I began to tell him about Phoebe. “We even told my daughter. Who I am, I mean.” I choked on the last part.

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “Honestly? I don’t think ecstatic is too strong a word. I mean, she took the news so well. She was excited about it.”

  “Children are very resilient.”

  I wondered what he’d meant by that, but decided to let it roll off my back. “She was happy. That’s all that mattered.”

  “You’re right. So what’s next for you and Alyssa?”

  “Well, I have some plans. Then I guess it’s a matter of working out our timing. She’s moving to Sydney.” I was beaming inside, excited about my plans for Alyssa at the Suncrest Hotel and her move to Sydney. We hadn’t discussed what would happen after the move, but I knew that moment would be pivotal to our relationship.

  “Have you spoken to her family?”

  “God, no,” I exclaimed. “I’ll be happy if Alyssa and I can move to Sydney without me having to see them again.”

  “You know that’s no way to start a relationship.”

  I laughed. “I know, Doc, it’s just . . . well, to be honest, her brother scares the shit out of me.”

  “That’s understandable, considering your past.”

  “But he has nothing on Curtis.” Killer Curtis would have my balls on a silver platter if he had half a chance. He was shorter, thinner, and had less brute strength than Josh, but he also knew ways to dispose of a body without getting caught.

  “Is Alyssa close to her family?”

  “Fuck, yeah. She always has been. They’re a fucking tight-knit group.” A group I was once part of many years ago. There was a time I had been Ruth and Curtis’s quasi-son. That had changed when I’d left. If I’d had any doubt over whether they did indeed hate me, the meeting with Ruby in the city had made it abundantly clear. “But it’ll be all right, Doc. Once they see how happy we are, they’ll leave us alone.”

  “Declan?” Dr. Henrikson asked, ignoring my statement.

  “Yeah, Doc?” I replied, wondering why he had changed tack.

  “It’s good to hear you this way.”

  “What way is that?” I was confused.

  “Almost optimistic.”

  I laughed. “You’re not the first one to call me that this weekend.”

  “I have to admit I am a little concerned though. Please . . . take this slowly.” I could tell he was choosing his words carefully.

  “Who’s the pessimist now?” I asked.

  “I just don’t want to see you falling into any of your”—he paused—“old patterns.”

  “You mean running?”

  “Amongst other things, yes.”

  “I’m never running from her again.”

  “I believe that you feel that’s the case.” He was obviously trying to placate me. “But I would like you and Alyssa to come in for couples’ therapy when you can.”

  I laughed at the concept. Sure, I had issues which impacted on Alyssa, but Alyssa and I, we didn’t have issues. “You’re just trying to sting me for more money.”

  He laughed in reply, but it was hesitant and forced.

  I sighed. “What makes you suggest that?”

  “It is a little,” his voice was slow, careful, considered, “concerning how insular your relationship with Alyssa seems to be. And how fast things are moving. You describe a world where everything is perfect, but only so long as there is no one else around. That is not a realistic scenario in the long-term. There will always be other factors impacting on the two of you. I would just like to see you both equipped with the right tools for having a relationship that will survive the real world.”

  I grew irritated. I had just told him about the fuck-awesome weekend I had with Alyssa and Phoebe, and his first suggestion was that we needed help?

  “Fuck you,” I said. “You don’t know a fucking thing.”

  “Declan,” he replied, with a calm voice. “I’m going to leave this here. But please, think about it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Don’t fucking bother,” I murmured, but he’d already hung up the phone. I threw the phone onto my bed. “Fucking quack!” I screamed at no one in particular.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: QUALITY TIME

  GRABBING AN OUTFIT to change into, I stormed into the shower. I slammed the door shut behind me. The doc’s words had planted seeds of doubt in my mind and I was anxious to see Alyssa again. Once I’d finished, I dried myself off and dressed in a rush, before grabbing my bag and writing Mum a quick note to let her know where I was going.

  By the time I arrived at Alyssa’s again, the small seeds had grown into weeds that tangled themselves around my memories of the weekend. I began to consider that maybe I was misreading the situation between Alyssa and me. Maybe things weren’t as resolved as I wanted to think. With my heart in my throat, I knocked on Alyssa’s door, unsure how she felt about the way I’d left earlier or whether my absence had given her time to reconsider everything that had happened.

  The door pulled open and Alyssa mouthed, “Hi,” to me and smiled. She had a phone handset squeezed between her shoulder and ear as she stepped backwards f
rom the door to allow me entry.

  “Daddy!” Phoebe squealed from in front of the TV before leaping up to give me a hug.

  The sound of the word made my stomach clench and my heart pound. A nervous excitement raced through my veins as she wrapped her tiny arms around my legs.

  “Nothing important,” Alyssa said into the phone, turning her back to me and heading down the hall toward her bedroom. She continued her conversation the whole way. By the time she reached the end of the hall, I could barely make out the words but I heard “Can’t someone else?” and “You are absolutely certain?”

  I sat on the couch and Phoebe climbed up beside me.

  “You were gone when I woke up,” she accused.

  “Sorry,” I said to her. “I needed to go get some more clothes and have a shower.”

  Her eyebrows creased together and she was silent for a minute.

  “We have a shower here,” she said eventually, the confusion in her tiny voice clear.

  “I know,” I replied. “But I’ll have to go away sometimes. But never for long, and I’ll always come back, okay?”

  She considered it for another minute then nodded and turned back to the TV, laughing loudly at Tom and Jerry. I didn’t know that shit was still on TV; I remembered it from when I was young.

  Watching her as she watched the TV, I was soon laughing along with her. She would turn to me whenever something happened that she found particularly funny and tell me what she’d seen, as if I wasn’t sitting right next to her. I could have found that irritating—and if it had been anyone else, I probably would have. For some reason, I found it endearing coming from the little angel perched next to me. Every now and then, I would hear a snippet of conversation float down from Alyssa, but I still couldn’t hear many words.

  “Declan?” Alyssa called, before appearing behind me. She was dressed in her work uniform and I frowned at the sight. She hadn’t said anything about needing to work. “I’ve been called in to work. It’s an emergency, and they’ve got no one else who can take the shift.”

  “Okay.” I tried not to let my disappointment show in my voice. I’d been hoping to have some fun and extend the weekend.