MOAB � Mother Of All Boxsets

by George Saoulidis

  “Seems valid. This Teucer guy has a fanatic following. And he’s already a brand ambassador for Apollon augmentations I see.”

  “Yes,” he pulled up even more data. “There are only a few athletes popular enough to make the shift happen. Pistorious used to be one. Then Usain Bolt. Then Rauwen. But in the 2028 Olympics at Los Angeles, Teucer showed up and wooed the crowd. Then he got into a serious accident, and got augmentations. He’s not allowed to compete in regular Olympics, so he’s the perfect case to bring about the change. He was an Olympian, then got injured, he’s still popular in the Cybathlon and the Paralympics. The committee will definitely consider letting him compete.”

  Gal nodded slowly. She scrunched her nose in a very cute way when she thought about stuff, Greg loved that. “It’s good. I think you found the, whatchacallit? Fulcrum.”

  They watched some video clips of Teucer. He had them sped up at 3.x.

  Gal snorted.

  “What?”

  “There should be like a normal person running the track in the Olympics. So we can see the baseline of the human race and really marvel at these demigods who give it their all, you know?”

  He smiled. “Okay. But who would subject himself to such ridicule?”

  “I bet some comedians would happily do the track. You know, establish the baseline. Don’t laugh! No really, we watch these demigods perform superhuman feats and we shrug. We look like the ‘meh’ emoji. During the break, there should be a guy with a beer belly running the 100 metre dash, with all the bells and whistles, track overlays, timekeeping, personal record, the lot. And he’d do like fifty seconds to cross the track and we will laugh. But when the Olympians run afterwards and you see them zoom across it and its blink-and-you-miss-it, then you’d really appreciate what they’re doing.

  He entertained her brain fart. “Okay, so all the sports?”

  “Yeah! Not the marathon, obviously cause the comedian would die of a heart attack. But yes, jumps, javelin throws, swimming, everything. He’d just plant his face into the sand half the time.”

  “Fine. I’ll make sure to pass it along if ratings ever go down.”

  “What would you ever do without me?” Gal said and took off her top. She threw it at the exact place he had just cleaned up.

  He pulled her close to his body by the waist. “I’d have a cleaner house, that’s for sure.”

  “Pft! Live a little.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He kissed her.

  Chapter 39: Galene @ 2.2x nhs

  “Hey, I was watching that!” Galene said, raising her eyes off her laptop for the first time in a whole hour.

  The TV had just been turned off and it had shaken her out of her coding thoughts. She had been so comfortable there on the couch in the middle of crumbs and blankets.

  “It’s crap anyway, I did you a favour.” Greg threw the remote away.

  Gal noticed that her slobbishness was finally rubbing off on him, just a tiny bit. She felt so proud. “Okay, smart guy, I won’t watch it. Got anything else for me? Find me something with clever people.”

  “Clever people on TV, it’s a joke. They are never shown to do any kind of work. They appear smart because Hollywood confuses recollection of facts with intelligence. Do you know what pharmacists in the UK are trained to do? They have this little book called British National Formulary, BNF for short, which has references and facts about the profession. That little book is their bible, they carry it with them, they have an app on their phone, they know it by heart. They are specifically told not to memorise anything that the BNF contains, but to know how to quickly use it to get to the info they need.”

  “Yeah, I agree.”

  Greg pointed at her chest. “That’s how smart people work.”

  She put her laptop aside. She knew him well enough by now to feel a lesson coming, and she could always get back to work later on.

  “Googling stuff instead of screenshotting them. Couldn’t agree more.” She paused for a second. “Oh! I can code a heuristic for that.”

  “Stop inventing shit for a minute.”

  “Stopping.” She bit her lip and sat down straight like a good little girl.

  “I’m working up to something here.”

  She nodded.

  He held a printout in his hands. “I’ve been reading Artemis’ ideology, some of her speeches, things like that. It’s not a secret or anything, but we’re not supposed to have them. Hermes doesn’t really like that sort of thing.”

  “What’s he worried about, that you’ll suddenly break away and become a female Artemis worshipper?”

  Greg grunted, “Nnno. Even if that’s technically possible these days, that’s not the problem here. You don’t know the Olympian CEOs like I do. They like their people going single-file. They like them staying inside the marked area. You and me, we…”

  “We’re sexy and awesome?”

  “That too, especially in your case, but I was gonna say we are, by definition, thinking outside the box. Actually, you can add seven spacial dimensions to the box and that’s where you’ll find us.” He thought about his words, and lately, that was an uncommon thing between them. “Galene, you need to realise that me and you are a necessary risk for them. We imagine without limits, we think faster and further than they can. But the companies are still for-profit. Even our humanitarian efforts are either tax write-offs or they have monetary value somewhere else.”

  She frowned. “Okay. I think I get that.”

  “This… thinking, Artemis has, is simply stunning. It’s all about standing up on your own two feet, but also being a part of a team. It’s about breaking the boundaries of sexism and other -isms. It’s about needing no one but relying on loved ones. It’s amazing. I want you to read it.”

  “Okay,” Gal said, raising her palm.

  He gave her the pack of A4 papers, but still held on. “I mean read it. Not skim it, not speedread it, not glance at it on your metro ride somewhere. Fully, actually, take the time to read it and think about it.”

  She looked up at his serious face. “I promise, Greg.”

  She took the printout in her hands. She read the first line out loud. “It’s better to be strong, than pretty and useless.” Gal raised an eyebrow. “Oh, this is good!”

  Chapter 40: Galene @ 0.7x nhs

  Galene dragged her feet on the floor. What time was it? What day?

  She checked her polyphasic sleep app. She was supposed to have more time to work, but she ended up rereading things, forgetting everything and dragging her feet, literally and figuratively, lacking the will to go on.

  Greg started his morning exercise routine. He was energetic and sharp and happy.

  “How do you do this? I hate you!” she screamed at him and then she took a nap.

  She woke up to massage and it felt like heaven.

  “Feeling rested?” Greg asked, hot coffee in hand for her.

  “Oh, much better. How long did I last?”

  “Three days, I think. You’re so cute when you’re drooling.”

  She wiped the edge of her mouth with her sleeve.

  “Gal, you don’t have to do the poly sleep if you can’t handle it. It’s not for everyone, you know.”

  “Yeah but… You do it,” she whined, taking a sip.

  “You don’t have to do everything I do. Also, I do it in intervals, then refresh, then do it again, like training, building up to harsher sleep schedules.”

  She pouted. “You’re smarter than me.”

  Greg chuckled at that. “I don’t think smarts have anything to do with it.”

  Gal puffed her cheeks. “I can barely think straight. I’m useless right now.”

  “Again, that only means polyphasic sleep isn’t working for you. You can adopt other techniques that suit you.”

  “Like meditation, the thing you do?”

  Greg sucked in air through his teeth. “Ugh, the opposite. Instead of trying to empty your thoughts, you move the opposite way, with information overload. The bra
in does the rest, sorts out what data you need.”

  Galene nodded far too many times, keeping her eyes shut. “Right, right. Overload, data, right. Brain farts, awesome. Lemme sleep five more minutes.”

  Chapter 41: Galene @ 2.4x nhs

  “Victoriya over here, Victoriya over there, it’s like you’re in love with her.” Gal scoffed at the veil images of Artemis everywhere.

  “I am in love with her,” Greg said simply.

  “You’re fucking WHAT?” Gal cried out. She started to type on her phone frantically.

  “I fall in love with all my projects. It’s one of the things I meant to teach you, when you’re doing client work instead of working on your passion project, you need to allow yourself to love the work. No matter what it is.”

  She just fumed and bit her tongue and typed furiously.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m texting Natalie exactly what you’re saying.”

  “Hi, Natalie!”

  “Now you’re flirting with my bestie too?”

  “I simply said hi. And frankly, you’re in a manic state right now.”

  “’Manic state,’ Yes, he called me that, that poop emoji,” Galene mumbled and typed.

  The phone chirped, the sound of a message coming through.

  “Huh,” Gal said.

  “What is it now?”

  “Natalie says ‘Let the man have a mistress, don’t be stupid. The official partner gets all the perks, side-bitches get leftovers.’ She’s like the worst friend ever.” Gal typed and mumbled, “No, silly, Victoriya is Artemis. Frickin Artemis, emoji shocked face.”

  “I got lost in the levels of meta here. Are you talking to me now or to Natalie?” Greg said.

  “I’m talking to you and I pass on the deets to Nat and I’m also talking to her while I recite things to you. Seriously, keep up old man,” Gal tsked.

  Greg sighed and walked away. “I’m so glad I’m not a woman. I’m going downstairs to find a meeting to attend, somebody will be happy to see me.”

  “Hey! Get back here, mister. We are not done talking about your love for frickin Artemis! Get back here now!”

  Galene fumed alone in the penthouse, surrounded by the smug face of Artemis, with her piercing green eyes and her cutesy nose and her perfect neck muscles.

  Seriously, how does one even begin to train their neck muscles?

  She threw her shoe at her.

  Chapter 42: Galene @ 2.6x nhs

  “Are you sure you’re alright? You haven’t stopped grinning for hours,” Greg asked in quicktalk.

  Gal squealed in delight for the thousandth time. She kept looking at Spain underneath, rushing past them. The private jet was perfect. The bubbly in her hand was perfect. Everything was perfect.

  “Yeah, it’s alright,” Gal said, trying and failing to keep it cool.

  “I thought you’d enjoy the trip. I don’t travel much, it wrecks my schedule. But it’s nice every now and then.”

  “I love it! Don’t get me wrong, it’s great just lounging at home with you, but trips are cool.” She touched the leather on the seat.

  “I had ulterior motives in bringing you with me.”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “That too, yes. But I’m talking about business. I pinpointed the decision-maker in Teucer’s life. Believe it or not, it’s his grandmother. She’s his unofficial manager. She’s not that old, she had kids quite young, and she’s quite sharp.”

  Mel walked down the plane corridor and refilled Gal’s champagne. Gal thanked her. “I guess it’s not bad having someone you can absolutely trust in this business. It must be tough having to deal with all the sharks.”

  “Spot on.” Greg pulled up his data on Teucer. “Teucer has a fan following, and in his case, the word fan really means fanatic. Archery hasn’t ever been very popular as a sport, and it definitely hasn’t been one since Victoriya. The fans call themselves Teucrinos and they travel by bus to every appearance he makes. They religiously buy whatever brand is sponsoring him, they cheer him online and on the field. It’s an Olympian’s dream.”

  Galene watched some of the sped-up clips. An AI had cross-referenced faces with social media and identities of people. They were indeed from his hometown, Pontevedra. “So, we’re going to talk to the grandmother?”

  “Yes. And the grandmother was wed very young, at twenty years of age to a man who was forty.”

  Gal crossed her arms and leaned back on the comfy seat. “So that’s why you wanted me with.”

  “It helps. But you’re not just eye-candy, you’re an intelligent woman in charge of her own project at Hermes. I think she’ll appreciate that, and give us points for sympathy.”

  Mel came up to her and brushed Gal’s neck with her finger. It always calmed Gal when one of the Plastics did that.

  She perused the data and Greg’s notes. She reviewed his angle, and found it okay.

  Gal should have been irritated being used like that, but she honestly wanted to help him. And if showing up would help with Greg’s business, then it was fine.

  “Tell me what you want me to do.”

  “Oh, my gods!” Galene yelped and spun around.

  “It’s great, isn’t it? I’ve never been here before.”

  Gal looked at the architecture, the bridges both old and new. It was a blend of European history with modern city-building. “Absolutely gorgeous. The pictures really didn’t do it justice.”

  Greg held her hand. They walked the city streets, taking in the stone and the fountains and the beauty of it all.

  “I wanna sit in all the cafes. Let’s have drinks in all of them and take selfies with everything!”

  Greg chuckled. “Okay, but easy on the caffeine. Let’s try the local delicacies.”

  “Where’s the Plastic?” Gal asked, looking around.

  “Who?”

  “Mel.”

  “Oh. Plastics, right. She went off to explore. It’s not like her presence will help with the grandma.”

  Gal squinted and licked her spoon. An android off exploring on its own. Now that was unusual. Was that part of her programming? Taking in more information, yes, definitely. But exploring a foreign city?

  “Where’s the grandma’s house?”

  “It’s two blocks over. We’ve called ahead and made an appointment, but it’s not like the Spanish have strict schedules or anything. We might have to wait.”

  The wait was nonexistent. Grandma had a feast ready for them. Patatas, paellas, calamari, tortillas, catalanas whatever. It was all there.

  A million-euro deal over Spanish cuisine, at a cosy little apartment in a quaint little town.

  Grandma waited for them to stuff their mouths. They spoke in slowtalk. “It’s great,” Gal said gasping for air. The only thing in the apartment that didn’t make it seem like any other granny house in the world was the sports memorabilia. Every prize ever won by Teucer, every photo of his victories, every scrap of press he was ever in, it was all there on display.

  “So,” grandma said in English, “tell me everything. How long have you two been together?”

  “Oh, a few months. But it feels as if we’ve known each other for years,” Greg said.

  “Very nice. I hope you’ll make an honest woman out of her,” grandma said and pinched his cheek.

  “I plan to. I haven’t met her mother yet, so that comes first.”

  Gal raised an eyebrow.

  “How lovely. Have some more paella, you’re rather thin.”

  “It’s all great, I really love the calamari.”

  “My son fished it! He knows all the best spots, he goes spear fishing. It’s dangerous, but he doesn’t listen. Men never do.”

  Gal nodded.

  “Miss-”

  “Please, call me abuela.”

  “Abuela, we really want your grandson with us. I’ve followed his career and I believe we can make him the face of the new Olympics.”

  “So, it’s business time. Yes, I had my son read
your proposal. I can’t see very well.” She raised an ageing hand. “I know you can fix that, don’t try to sell me stuff. I like my eyes how they are.”

  “You should, they’re lovely. No wonder your late husband made sure to marry you as soon as he saw them.”

  Smooth! Galene touched his leg, then slid her hand on the inside of his thigh. If it weren’t for the grandma, she’d have jumped him right then and there.

  “Gregoris, I’ll be honest with you because you’re a fine young man. I like your proposal. But we’re signed up with Artemis. Breaching our contract will mean losing credibility. The benefits will have to be enormous to even consider it, right? You understand. Now try the dessert, I made it myself.”

  That was the end of the negotiations. Gal could see his jaw clench.

  Mel finally joined them at the cafe.

  “Why do we need to call you on the phone?” Gal said in quicktalk, annoyed.

  “How else would you reach a person?” she asked.

  “I dunno? With an integrated cellphone maybe?”

  “I don’t have one.”

  “That’s what I’m saying. Why don’t you have one?”

  Greg raised a hand. “Girls, please stop. We’re all tired and angry, let’s not add to it.”

  Mel sat down. Her face was ugly, as always, but concerned. “So it didn’t go well?”

  “They’re too loyal. Like everybody else around Artemis. Too fucking loyal. I mean, the deal is objectively good. I’d say that even if we weren’t on Hermes’ side. It really is, and they can’t see it.”

  Gal didn’t even finish her ice cream. It was delicious and she didn’t wanna touch it.

  They sat in silence for a while.

  Gal perked up. “You’re wrong.”

  “What about?”

  “About them being loyal. No, sorry, you’re not wrong, we’ve just been going about it the wrong way. Sure, grandma is the decision maker. But the Teucrinos are the vocal fan base, see?” She pulled up recent hashtags of social posts, it was a riot.