Drew (The Cowboys)

by Leigh Greenwood

  The swiftness of the answer, the certainty that the man couldn’t be anyone but Cole, nearly knocked the little remaining sense out of her. How could she have come to like Cole so much without realizing it? She wasn’t an idiot. She hadn’t been sleepwalking. It should be impossible for a reasonably intelligent woman to miss something like that.

  Yet she’d missed it, because she’d been telling herself for years she didn’t want love, didn’t want marriage, wouldn’t even consider the idea. She’d become so accustomed to feeling no attraction to men, to being certain it couldn’t happen to her, she hadn’t recognized it when it did.

  Now she was on the verge of falling in love with a drifter.

  “Do you think you could talk Jake and Isabelle into spending the winter in New York?” her aunt asked.

  “No.”

  “New Orleans?”

  “It’s too far from home.”

  “I wish you’d stop calling that ranch home.”

  “But it is my home. The only real home I’ve ever known.”

  “It wouldn’t have been if you’d come to live with me.”

  “It was too late.”

  “You were only eleven. You could have learned.”

  Drew reached across and took her aunt’s hands. “You’ve got to accept that I’m different from you. I like the ranch. I like cows and dust and sweat. I don’t like dressing up and going to parties. For your sake, I wish I did. But I don’t. I never will.”

  Her aunt sighed deeply, and gave Drew’s hands a squeeze. “It’s not that so much. It’s just that I miss seeing you. I love you, Drucilla. I want to see you married and settled with children.”

  The image caused Drew’s throat to close convulsively.

  “I can’t learn to like ranches,” her aunt said, “but maybe I can meet you halfway. Do you think you could visit me more often if I lived in San Antonio?”

  “You wouldn’t like it.”

  “I can like anything if I make up my mind to it”

  Something closely resembling a shaft of pain shot through Drew from bosom to belly. Cole might say he loved her—he might truly love her—but he was a drifter. He’d promised to stay through New Orleans, but he’d made no promises after that. Just that he loved her.

  Drew knew love would never be enough. Her parents had loved each other. Their forgiveness of each other was just as tender and sweet as their fights were ugly and violent. Drew couldn’t endure the fights, or Cole’s coming back from time to time. That would be worse than his disappearing forever. It would keep hope alive, and that would tear her apart.

  Why had she done anything so foolish as to let herself become involved with a drifter?

  She remembered she had decided Cole had joined the show for a purpose, that he might not be a drifter, but that didn’t help. Once his job was over, he would disappear. She was probably entertainment while he did whatever he was doing. She might not be pretty, but she was available.

  Drew cursed herself for a fool, because she wanted everything she knew about Cole to be different. She wanted to tell herself she barely knew him, that he could be the most dependable, reliable, responsible man in the country. She wanted to forget he had wandered into her life without the baggage of a past or a future, without family or obligations. She wanted to ignore the fact that if he could walk away from all that, he could leave her behind even more easily.

  “When are you leaving?” her aunt asked.

  “Tomorrow, immediately after the show.”

  The show. She’d nearly forgotten the show. She would have to perform with Cole, and pretend nothing had happened, that her life was just as orderly and serene as ever. She wasn’t sure she could do that. She was certain if he said one sweet, tender word to her, she would burst into tears.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Drew was so jittery she couldn’t stand still. She prayed Carl would make his introduction longer than usual. It sounded shorter. Maybe the horse would go lame and she could walk in rather than ride. The horse was in perfect condition.

  “Why are you nervous?” Zeke said as he helped her onto the horse’s back.

  “I’m not nervous.”

  “If you don’t calm down, you’ll miss shots.”

  Just what she needed, a real boost of confidence. The music came up, Earl announced her name, Zeke slapped the horse on his hindquarters, and Drew was in the ring and in the spotlight.

  She refused to look at Cole. She hadn’t been sure he would show up, but he’d set up the tricks as usual. She concentrated on the targets as she rode by. She breathed a sigh of relief when she hit all three dead center. The second pass went just as well. She started to relax.

  Too soon. She missed one of the candles. Damn! She’d never missed. She took a slight hop in the air, turned completely around, and quickly fired a second shot. She got it She stumbled when she turned around to get ready to jump into Cole’s arms. She caught Cole’s look of surprise out of the corner of her eye.

  Hell, she would jump even if she was off balance. She wouldn’t give in to nerves, embarrassment, or whatever feelings were turning her into an addlebrained fool.

  The jump was a mistake. The feel of Cole’s arms around her, her body pressed close to his, the look of entreaty in his eyes, hit her like the sudden onslaught of a fever. Her limbs began to tremble.

  “Put me down,” she hissed when Cole continued to hold her, carrying her around the ring like a trophy.

  “Why didn’t you come to practice today?”

  “We don’t have anything to say to each other. If you don’t put me down this instant, you’ll ruin the act.”

  Cole tossed her in the air. She spun around like a top.

  “She’s light as a feather, folks,” he called to the audience, “fragile as a lamb, but she can shoot the eyebrows off a mosquito at fifty yards.”

  “I’ll shoot your eyebrows off if you throw me up in the air again,” she hissed. “I’ll be so dizzy I won’t be able to hit a thing.”

  Cole tossed her again, caught her above his head, and held her there.

  “She’s so good, she can shoot the target from where she is right now.”

  She was going to kill him. There was absolutely no doubt about it.

  “Show the good people what you can do, Miss Townsend. Give us a clay pigeon!” he called.

  Almost immediately a clay pigeon was launched into the air. By some miracle, Drew’s bullet smashed it to smithereens.

  “Two this time,” he called out, and two clay pigeons sailed into the air. Drew managed to hit them both.

  “Let’s make it a little more difficult. I’ll spin her around a few times and see what she can do.”

  He spun her until the entire arena swam before her eyes. “Two more pigeons,” he called out.

  She missed both of them.

  “Guess I got her a little too dizzy, folks. I’d better set her down and let her head clear.”

  She had to grab hold of his arm to keep from falling. “I’m going to kill you for this,” she said from between clenched teeth.

  “I wanted you to know what it felt like last night.”

  “Your feelings are not my fault. I told you I didn’t want anybody falling in love with me.”

  “Let’s see what she can do with the balls I juggle in the air,” Cole called out to the audience. “I just want a chance to talk to you,” he said more softly.

  “There’s nothing to say,” Drew said, taking aim. Cole started to juggle six balls. Drew shattered each as he threw them into the air.

  “It’s a good thing she didn’t miss,” Cole said to the audience. “I can’t juggle worth a damn.” The crowd laughed. “There might be, if you’d open up that closed mind of yours and give yourself a chance to feel something,” he whispered.

  “For my next trick,” Drew announced, “I’m going to shoot over my shoulder using a mirror to see my target. I like you,” she said to Cole when he handed her the mirror, “but I don’t love you.” She positioned the mir
ror and rifle, then shouted, “Pull!”

  A clay pigeon sailed into the air. She hit it the first time.

  “I think you do,” Cole said. “You’re just too stubborn and set in your ways to admit it.”

  She had spent most of the night lying awake, trying to forget everything that had happened in the garden, trying to convince herself it didn’t change anything. But no matter how many times she went over the arguments against falling in love, she couldn’t rid herself of the fear that she really did want to fall in love with Cole.

  She had spent most of the morning trying to convince herself by ruthless logic it couldn’t possibly be true. Having Cole guess what had been going on in her head and heart shook her badly

  “Pull!” she shouted.

  The untouched clay pigeon sailed out of sight Damn, she had missed! If she didn’t get herself under control, she would disgrace herself and ruin her career as a sharpshooter.

  “It’s true, isn’t it?” Cole asked.

  She ignored him, blocked out the sound of his voice, the image of his face. She thought only of the clay pigeon that would soon be released, of the necessity to shatter it into a million pieces.

  “Pull!”

  The clay pigeon sailed into the air and shattered at the peak of its arc.

  She shouted “Pull!” three times in quick succession, and three clay pigeons disintegrated to loud applause.

  “You didn’t answer me,” Cole said.

  Drew refused to admit she’d heard the sound of his voice. She turned her back to the skeet shoot “Pull three!” she called. At the sound of the three clay pigeons beings released, she whirled and shot three times. She hit all three.

  “Are you going to keep refusing to answer me?” Cole asked.

  She turned her back again. “Pull three!” She shattered three more clay pigeons, but she could feel her control slipping. Clay’s words kept coming at her through the noise of the crowd. She refused to look at him, but each clay pigeon seemed to be a picture of Cole’s face.

  She dropped down on a bench, let her head hang over the end, and took aim upside down and backwards. This was her hardest trick. She couldn’t allow herself to think of Cole or anything else.

  “I still love you,” Cole said. “One of these days you’re going to have to stop running. You’ll have to face yourself and ask why you were so afraid to let yourself be loved.”

  She wouldn’t listen. She didn’t dare. Inside her, everything was confusion. Only one thing was certain, her skill with a rifle. She had to hold on to that

  “It is fear,” Cole said. “You know love can work. You see it all around you. Why are you so afraid to give yourself the chance for happiness?”

  She couldn’t hold on any longer. If she tried to complete her act, she’d embarrass herself. She closed her eyes and was shocked to feel them flood with moisture. She couldn’t see with tears in her eyes, but she couldn’t stop now. The audience was still, quiet, waiting expectantly.

  She opened her eyes and the world swam eerily through the tears. She wiped them away, then closed her eyes again. Her vision was clear when she opened them, but she could feel the tears start to build up. It was now or never.

  One more trick. Please, God, just one more trick.

  “Pull!”

  She didn’t aim. She was useless, because she couldn’t see. She pulled the trigger. She knew by the burst of applause, the cheering from thousands of female throats, that she’d made the shot.

  “Thank you, God,” she murmured as she got to her feet. She forced a smile to her face as she waved at the cheering audience. Then, without waiting for the usual challenge to the audience, she turned and ran from the arena.

  “You can’t run from me,” Cole called after her. “No matter where you go, I’ll follow until I find you.”

  She couldn’t see at all now. Her eyes were blinded by tears. She ran into Myrtle’s arms.

  “What’s wrong, child? Why didn’t you finish your act?”

  “It’s finished,” Drew said between sobs. “Everything is finished.”

  Cole was putting the props away when he heard a familiar voice.

  “I couldn’t believe it when I saw you enter that ring. My only son appearing in a vulgar sideshow.”

  Cole’s stomach sank. On top of Drew not speaking to him, he now had to contend with his mother. “Why did you come?” he asked, turning to face her. “You knew you’d be upset if you found me here.” Sibyl accompanied his mother, providing the prop for her to lean on.

  “I came because of that woman,” his mother said.

  “What woman?” Cole asked, certain he knew.

  “The one you disappeared with into the garden last night. How could you do such a thing when you knew it would start such gossip? Then you ran off and left me to face it alone.”

  “You don’t seem to be alone, Mother.”

  “Sibyl has been a true angel. She has stayed by my side the whole day.”

  “Why didn’t you keep her from coming here?” Cole asked Sibyl.

  “We couldn’t very well continue denying what people were saying without seeing for ourselves,” Sibyl said.

  “Denying what?”

  “It was Doreen who told me. She heard it from Sally Land, who heard it from—”

  “Heard what, Mother?”

  “That you worked in a sideshow and were infatuated with that woman, that you’re with her all the time.”

  “We’re in an act together. We have to be together a lot.”

  “Come home, Cole. You don’t have to work in a place like this, or with people like her.”

  “What do you mean by people like her?”

  “She’s a show person, Cole, not one of your class.”

  “Her aunt has better social connections than you do.”

  “What kind of name is Drew? It sounds like a man’s name. She’s doing a man’s job.” She shivered dramatically. “How can you like a woman who shoots guns for a living?”

  “Get to the point, Mother.”

  “Come home, Cole. Your father won’t insist you learn his business. I won’t even insist that you go to parties and balls if you don’t want to, but you don’t belong in a place like this.” She looked around as though she were afraid something filthy, contagious, or just plain savage would jump out at her.

  “Your mother’s nerves have been shattered,” Sibyl said. “She hasn’t been able to hold her hand steady since you went into the garden last night.”

  “Men go into the garden with attractive women all the time,” Cole said. “What is there to get upset about?”

  “But not that kind of woman,” his mother said.

  “You didn’t know she was in the Wild West Show last night,” Cole pointed out. “You only knew she was the niece of a very wealthy woman with connections to the Vanderbilts.”

  “I never trusted that woman,” his mother insisted. “From the first, I could tell there was something cheap about her.”

  “It certainly wasn’t her jewels,” Cole snapped.

  “Anyone with money can buy jewels,” Sibyl said.

  “While a woman with a spendthrift father and brother can’t. Is that right, Sibyl?”

  Sibyl colored.

  “Give up the idea I’ll ever marry you or anyone like you,” Cole said. “Give up the idea I’m coming back to Memphis to dance on the end of your string,” he said to his mother.

  “It’s that woman,” his mother wailed, clasping a dramatic hand to her bosom. “She’s bewitched you.”

  “You’re wrong,” Cole said. “She tried her best to scare me off, but I’m in love with her and I want to marry her.”

  Sibyl went white. His mother let out a series of anguished wails that rose in a crescendo until Cole was certain everyone within a hundred yards could hear her. Several buffalo started to bellow. He could hear nervous whinnies from the direction of the horse corral.

  “Be quiet, mother. You’re upsetting the animals.”

  “The
animals!” his mother practically screamed. “You’re ruining my life, and all you can worry about is the animals.”

  “You should be ashamed of yourself for treating your mother like this,” Sibyl said. “I would never have thought it of you.”

  “If you hadn’t brought her here, you wouldn’t have had to find out.”

  “You don’t love me,” his mother cried. “You don’t care what happens to me.”

  “What’s going on? I heard a scream!”

  Drew came into the tent, followed by Myrtle and several old people.

  “You!” Cole’s mother pulled herself erect and pointed at Drew with a dramatic gesture. “Release my son. Let him come back to his family.”

  Drew looked from mother to son to mother and back to son, surprise, confusion, and dawning anger in her expression. “Is this your mother?” she asked.

  “Of course I’m his mother,” Mrs. Benton intoned. “I’ve come to save him from this awful place and women like you.”

  “You’re rich,” Drew said, ignoring Mrs. Benton and looking straight at Cole.

  “He’s the only son of the richest man in Memphis,” Sibyl said. “He was born into the highest social circle.”

  “Are you here to save him, too?” Drew asked Sibyl.

  “She’s here to cause trouble,” Cole said, “and hoping to find a way to convince me to marry her.”

  “I beg you to give him up,” Mrs. Benton said to Drew. “I’ll pay you as much as you want.”

  Drew turned her back on Cole. “You don’t have to pay me anything, Mrs. Benton. I don’t want him. I never have.”

  “You don’t want him!” Mrs. Benton said, suddenly quite able to stand without assistance. “What right has a little tramp like you to refuse my son?”

  “Every right in the world,” Drew said, turning to Cole. “I want nothing to do with liars. Come on, Myrtle, we’ve got to finish packing.”

  Drew walked from the tent without a backward look. Myrtle and the others followed, but the looks they directed at Cole told him he was no longer one of them.

  “I hope you’re pleased, Mother. She’ll probably never speak to me again.”

  “She not speak to you! I should think it would be the other way around.”