King of Spades

by Frederick Manfred

  While the girls with their skinny arms and legs and unleavened breasts flailed and flapped at each other, Horses still lay on his back, knees up, a big wandering eye full of wonder on each side of his high nose.

  Between cloudbursts of laughter, Sam managed to gasp, “You know, watching them two fight over Horses, it’s like seeing two sparrows fight over a turd. By the Lord if it ain’t now.”

  At that Horses came up off the floor, first on his hands and knees, then on his feet. He backed off exactly four paces. He glared down at Sam with red-dotted eyes. “Sam, the Army don’t like that. Even if you was to smile along with it.”

  “Well?”

  Horses stood with legs wide apart, right hand poised. “Instead of laughing like you is.”

  Sam continued to sit laughing beside the gaming table. “Horses, you think too much like a calf in a swamp. Too slow and hardly at all. We don’t mean you no harm.”

  “You just named your day to pay up your ’rears.”

  “Oh, c’mon now, Horses, lay off.”

  “Close your valves, and draw.”

  Kate cried, “Boys, please now!”

  Everybody scrambled out of range.

  Ransom stationed himself at Sam’s right.

  Sam lifted his upper lip. “You must be plumb off your mental reservation, man. This ain’t no shootin’ matter yet.”

  “Get to your feet! You’re about to make a trip alone.”

  Sam laughed, short. “I’m not getting up for nobody.”

  “Sam!” Kate warned. “He’s in the Army now, you know. If something should happen to him, you know what the Army’ll do to this house. They’ll close us down tight.”

  Sam waved Kate down. “I know my Horses. There won’t be any cathop here.”

  Little spasms worked in Horses’ right hand. “Cathop or no cathop, calling a man what you just called me is plain low wrong. Even if you was to just plain smile with it.”

  “Horses, you’re an old pard of my bosom. Sit down and resume the game.”

  Horses continued to eye Sam malignant. “I’m standing pat on what I says.”

  Sam folded his arms and leaned back.

  “Draw.”

  Sam tried a wink on Horses. He smiled forgiving.

  “Work in one more wink, Sam, and I drills a hole right in the middle of the eye that winks.”

  Sam turned to Ransom. “Boy, can’t you say something that’ll set his intellects to milling the other way?”

  Ransom found his right hand poised.

  “Draw,” Horses said down to Sam. “You dirty mother-forker.”

  Sam shook his head.

  “Then, Sam, it’s time for the Army to speak up. The whole U.S. Army of these here United States.” There was a whirl of a big hand and a loud pop.

  A little cloud of dust puffed out of Sam’s buckskin shirt, from the left shoulder. Sam’s face turned pale. “Horses! Why, you’re crazier than a woman’s watch, man.”

  Horses shot Sam again, in the stomach. “This time then.”

  Red life began to gush out of Sam’s belly. Slowly he crippled over at the waist; at last, face first, tilted forward like a landslide.

  “Sam!” Kate caught Sam in her arms.

  The girls screamed.

  Kate grabbed a red goose pillow off the chaise longue and eased it under Sam’s head. “Dear. Dear.”

  Sam ignored Kate. He turned his head and fixed his eyes on Ransom. “I thought you had a quick gun, boy.”

  Ransom chilled over.

  Sam let go a bloody sigh. “Wellsomever, it’s all right, boy.” He lay guggling. “Guess I better get in my last will and testament. Pronto.” Again he fixed his eyes on Ransom. “Boy, them span of rats is yours. I give ’em to you.”

  “Sam,” Kate said.

  Sam managed a white smile through his bushy gray mustache. “You might say that this was a case of two studs trying to get into the same collar at the same time.”

  Kate wept.

  “Don’t waste any salt on me, woman. In a minute I’ll be dead enough to skin.”

  The girls of the house filed silently in. Like bewildered magpies they stood ringed around Sam, gagging and gawking.

  A green fly appeared from nowhere and buzzed in and around them and with a final turn landed on the tip of Sam’s nose.

  Kate shooed it away.

  Disturbed, the green fly buzzed straight for the nearest window, hit the blind with a light thud, then came buzzing back. Once again it landed on Sam’s nose.

  “Shoo.”

  Sam whispered, “That fly is right, Kate. Leave it alone. Because I’m dead.” And with a jerk Sam was dead.

  Kate snapped a fingertip at the green fly.

  The green fly again headed for the window; hit the blind with a light thud. This time it stayed put.

  Gun still in hand, Horses stepped up. He circled Kate’s waist with his left arm and hauled her to his feet. “All right, luv, now that we’ve got rid of him, let’s spill some tallow.”

  “Horses!”

  There was a click of a gun.

  Horses turned, gun still leveled.

  Ransom fired.

  Suddenly Horses had three red eyes. He staggered backward.

  The second bullet caught Horses as he was falling. The bullet cut his blue uniform up the front as neatly as if a running shears had done it. At the last second, kicking, Horses slewed around and landed across Sam’s body. Blood spurted over the green Brussels carpet. Crimson rivuleted down the red goose pillow under Sam’s head.

  “Mr. Ransom!” Kate cried, a hand to her mouth.

  “Horses!” Sulie and Rut gasped.

  The green fly came for another look. It landed on Horses’ forehead, then itched over to examine Horses’ new red eye.

  Ransom holstered his 4ms..5 and turned to go.

  Kate quick caught his elbow. “Don’t.”

  Ransom shivered at her touch. His green eyes glittered down at her. “Don’t you think it’s high time I skip the country?”

  “Wait.” Kate clutched at him. “Where were you and Sam staying?” Her single dark eye was sharp, imperious.

  “The American House.”

  “In whose name were you registered?”

  “Sam’s.”

  “What room?”

  “Twenty-one.”

  Kate quickly kneeled and rifled Sam’s pockets. She came up with Sam’s room key. “Hermie, scoot over to the American House and get all of Mr. Ransom’s things.” Kate tossed Hermie the heavy key. “All, you hear? You’ll know them from Sam’s. And don’t get caught. Be sure, now.”

  Muscular Hermie shrugged herself into a coat and, whirling, was off in a limber manly trot.

  “What’s all this?” Ransom demanded.

  “Just you stick around.” Kate caught him by the elbow again, fiercely. “Don’t you go, d’hear? Your whole life may depend on it.”

  Again Ransom shivered at her touch.

  The green fly backed off from Horses’ third red eye, flew up and circled Ransom’s head four times, then shot for the window blind. It hit with a thwack, and this time fell to the floor, on its back.

  Kate skimmed over and with a pouncing toe squashed it. “I just hate flies. Especially them loud green ones.”

  Sulie and Rut wept over Horses. But even as they wept, their hands pawed his clothes, each down a side. Sulie came up with a silver dollar and an old toad-stabber; Rut came up with a lucky penny and a straight razor.

  Kate saw their gleanings. “The great big cheapskate. That’s the Army for you. Thinking a blue uniform can get them in here for a lot of free fun.” Kate pointed a regal arm. “Girls, get back to your cribs. I’ll handle it from here.”

  Sulie and Rut, still spilling tears, mementos in hand, retreated to the back of the house.

  Again Ransom made a move to leave.

  “Please don’t go.” Kate touched her black eye patch to reassure herself it was still in place.

  “I feel terrible.”


  “Please.”

  “Terrible.”

  Kate let her hand come to rest on Ransom’s wrist, softly. “I know. And Lord knows, so do I. But don’t go. Or you’ll be in awful trouble. I know the Army. And worse, I know Colonel Bullock. Just leave everything to me.”

  Tears came into Ransom’s eyes. The silver-limned tears made the red room gleam crimson. The black patch over Kate’s eye resembled a dark cavern.

  Hermie burst in, whistling. She carried a bundle.

  Kate immediately bolted the door after Hermie. “You got his duds then?”

  “I did.”

  “All of them?”

  “All.”

  “Leave any sign?”

  “None.”

  “Anybody see you?”

  Hermie whistled with an eloquent lift of heavy dark brows.

  “What happened?”

  “I met a customer in the hallway upstairs.”

  “What I mean is, did anybody see you get his things?”

  “Not one.”

  Kate took the bundle. “Mr. Ransom, you come with me.” Ransom touched a hand to his right eye. “I better not.”

  “Come.”

  “No.”

  “Don’t be balky.” Kate again took him by the elbow, and gently but firmly drew him toward the door leading to the back of the house. “Now, Mr. Ransom, if you don’t please hurry, I’ll just have to take you by the ear.”

  Ransom threw a last look back at Sam. “Don’t you want me to help you with him?”

  “Hermie and I will take care of everything. Hurry now.”

  Even as Kate spoke, somebody was at the front door, and when the bolt held, the somebody began to pound on it.

  “The Army must have a spy in here.” Kate picked up a faintly luminous night lamp. She turned it up. “Hurry.”

  Ransom let himself be pulled down a corridor, then up a back stairs, finally into a corner room upstairs.

  The room couldn’t be true: gold wallpaper, canopied four-poster, settee, two lounging chairs, dresser, full-length mirror, thick blue rug, gold-trimmed chamber pot, hanging lamps with silver reflectors, bookcase full of books. There were four windows, all muffled with curtains and blinds. Ransom had never in his life seen such elegance.

  “My bedroom,” Kate said. She simpered. “It’s where I live and have my being.” Then she added, “Our bedroom.” She set the night lamp on a low table beside the four-poster. She lit one of the hanging lamps with a match. Light in the room became a mellow orange.

  Ransom’s green eyes opened.

  Kate gave him a veiled smile. “It’s all right. It’s only for now. Until the Army finishes its investigation.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Why, you handsome goose you, don’t you understand? You had to shoot Horses in self-defense. While protecting your wife.”

  “Wife?”

  “Yes. You’re my husband for now.”

  “What?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hold on. If I’m your husband don’t you think they wonder what I’m doing up here? Instead of answering the door?”

  “Because you were hit on the head.Grazed by a flying bullet.”

  “Lord!” Ransom remembered Sam saying once that in a tight a woman had more sand than a man.

  “Down on the bed with you.” Kate dug a razor out of Ransom’s bundle. “I know just where to nick you. That little vein on your forehead there, where it runs down into your eyebrow.”

  “No.”

  Kate gave Ransom a hard push back; and down Ransom went on the four-poster.

  Before he could cross his brows, a few drops of blood were already beginning to trickle down his cheek.

  “Now you stay put and don’t move. Or you’ll have my silk bedspread all spotted. It’ll quit bleeding soon enough.” Kate slipped a small silk pillow under his head. “If you’ll lie perfectly still until I come back, everything’ll turn out hunky-dory.” Kate bustled about, emptying his bundle onto the rug and then distributing the contents into various drawers and closets. “And when I bring the Colonel up, I want you to pretend you’re still a little stunned. And don’t you say a word. Not one word. You hear?” And with that Kate swished out and was gone.

  After lying still awhile, Ransom reloaded his gun.

  A last drop of blood stopped on his Adam’s apple.

  The aroma of scented woman wafted up out of the pillow he lay on. Sleeping on grass had never been like this.

  The drying blood on his cheek began to draw up the skin under it.

  “Runs a cowboys’ rest home, yet don’t take part herself.”

  Ransom crossed his legs, boots squinching a little where the one lay over the other.

  “Maybe she’s still in love with somebody and is saving it for him.”

  Girlish squeals came from below. A gruff voice barked. A door slammed. Then a second door shut. Again the heavy masculine voice barked.

  Footsteps sounded on the back stairs. A moment later there was a knock outside the bedroom door.

  Kate poked her head in. “We got company, dearie.” She winked her one eye.

  Ransom peered past his gambler’s mustache. “Send em in ”.

  Kate opened the door wide. “There he is, Colonel.”

  A portly man dressed in a blue uniform walked in. A thick island of hair grew at the back of his head, the longer strands of which were worn swept up over the top of the head. He carried a broad black hat clapped to his heart. Behind him came three blue soldiers, young men, and then limber Hermie.

  Colonel Bullock stopped at the foot of the four-poster. Pompously he stared down at Ransom. “Is this the man?” he demanded, more of Hermie than of Kate.

  “I can’t say that he ain’t,” Hermie said.

  Kate looked from the Colonel to Ransom. “Let me introduce you. Colonel Bullock, this is my husband, Earl Ransom.”

  “Now that’s what I call pure cock and bull.”

  Kate bent over Ransom. “How do you feel now, love?”

  “Tolerable.”

  With her lips Kate sought out Ransom’s lips under his black mustache and gave him a fulsome kiss.

  The kiss jolted Ransom.

  Colonel Bullock continued to glare down at Ransom. “Young man, I can have you arrested, you know. Out here the Army is the only law, you know.”

  Chills shot up Ransom’s back.

  “Horses was the best mule man the Army ever had.”

  “That’s what Sam always said.”

  “Then why did you gun him down?”

  “Why, he killed Sam, sir. In cold blood.” Ransom sat up in bed. “Then he took to pawing … the missus here. So I had to butt him out, Colonel. He’d got over onto my range.”

  Kate tried to signal Ransom to shut up.

  Colonel Bullock’s nose came up a little. “When did you marry … the missus here?”

  “Is that question an order?”

  Kate quick intervened. “We got married quite some time ago.”

  Colonel Bullock continued to glare down at Ransom with gray Army eyes. “Where?”

  “On one of my trips,” Kate said.

  “Why can’t the pup answer for himself?”

  “He’s far from being a pup, Colonel.”

  “Well, I suppose an old bitch like you would know about such things.”

  “Colonel Bullock!”

  “I’ll bet a brass cannon against a fart that this greenhorn of yours laying in bed here ain’t never gored his critter yet.” “He just might surprise you.”

  “I’ve heard of fuzzfaces marrying what looked like their own hairy mothers out in the sticks. But now I can actually say I’ve seen such a case with my own eyes.”

  Kate stood as white as a sheet. “You might guess again, Colonel, as to who is the oldest between us two.”

  The Colonel at last swung his ponderous gray manner on Kate. He towered over her. “Kate, you’re a liar.”

  Ransom flipped himself all in one motion up off the bed. His han
d dropped to his gun.

  The Colonel’s hand jumped to his saber. His three men touched their guns.

  “Wait wait wait!” Kate whispered hoarsely.

  “Kate, where’s the marriage license?”

  “Why, Colonel, you wouldn’t think I’d keep it here, do you? In this place?”

  “Kate, really now, since when did this tender johnny take up living with you here?”

  “He’s just now arrived from Denver.”

  “Where was Sam staying, kid?”

  Again Kate stepped in. “The American House.”

  “Jack, go check the hotel register. And check Sam’s room. On the double.”

  After Jack left, Colonel Bullock drew his saber partway out of its scabbard, cursed loudly, once, then with a clang shot the saber home again. “Kate, if that hotel room is clean, I’ll let you off. And him. This once. But if it ain’t, this place is closed. And the pup gets shot. At dawn.”

  Kate had her own set of conditions. “For you and your roughnecks this place is already off limits. Forever.”

  Jack the soldier was back in a jiffy.

  The Colonel turned on hard heels. “Well, Jack?”

  “As slick and clean as a weasel’s tongue, sir. No sign of him having been there.”

  “What did the manager say?”

  “Said he wasn’t around when Sam registered, sir. He let me look at the register and there was just Sam’s name in it.”

  “Nobody saw this pretty fuzzface there then?”

  “Not even the bellhop. The place is in worse shape than a Chugwater stampede, sir.”

  Kate relaxed. “Well, Colonel?”

  Colonel Bullock let down too. “All right, Kate, if your Mr. Quicknuts here is your husband, he has the right to defend your home. So he is clear, I guess.”

  “Thanks.” Kate strode to the door and held it open. “Gentlemen, if you please.”

  The Colonel shooed his three soldiers out ahead of him. As he passed into the hall, he gave Hermie a swift wink.

  Hermie’s face remained expressionless.

  Ransom caught the wink.

  Kate closed the door.

  Ransom said, “Ah … wife, can we be alone for a minute?”

  Kate brightened. “Of course, love. Hermie?”

  Hermie, whistling, left the room.

  Kate stepped hesitantly toward Ransom. “Yes?” In the soft lamplight her gold hair had light-brown shadows. The black eye patch especially became her in the gentle light.