Pull You Through

by Kaylee Ryan

  It takes me a minute to decipher what he said. When I look up, I squeal and drop the phone. Slade is standing in the doorway of the kitchen, my parents’ smiling faces standing behind him. I rush to him and he catches me. He holds me tight as he buries his face in my hair.

  “I missed you,” I say, trying to fight the tears. “What are you doing here?”

  “I missed you, too,” he says, kissing my forehead and setting me back on my feet. “I might have maybe told a little white lie about when my leave was.”

  “But Brandon, he’s not on leave either.”

  “Yeah, about that, he’s here too. He surprised Savannah.”

  “I can’t believe you’re really here,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.

  “We need to get back to work. We’ll see you both tonight,” Mom says, placing her hand on my shoulder.

  I nod, not willing to break my connection with Slade. As soon as the front door closes, he cups my face and presses his lips to mine. “I missed you.”

  I kiss him back before pulling back for air. “How long are you here for? Where are you staying?” I rattle off questions.

  “Three days. I have five, but I have to get settled into my new room at the barracks, and we have to be ready to report on Monday.” Lacing his fingers through mine, he leads me to the living room. He sits on the couch and tugs gently on our combined hands, pulling me into his lap. “I’m staying here.”

  “What?” I sit up straighter and turn to look at him. “Here?”

  “Yeah, when I called your mom and asked her about surprising you, she offered to let me stay here. I’ll be sleeping on the pull-out couch in the basement.”

  “Three whole days!” I say excitedly.

  “Three.” Kiss. “Whole.” Kiss. “Days.” Kiss. He melds his mouth to mine, his hand gripping my thigh.

  Somehow, without breaking the kiss, I move to my knees and straddle him. My hands rest on his shoulders, and I rock my hips as his tongue slides against mine.

  “Jesus, Austyn,” he pants, resting his forehead against my chest. “We can’t do this here. Not on your parents’ couch.”

  “Then let’s go to my room.” I rock my hips again for good measure. It’s been so damn long.

  “I want nothing more than to be buried deep inside you right now, but Dawson will be home soon.”

  “How do you know that?” I ask, pulling back.

  “Your mom told me what time he gets home.”

  “Damn little brothers,” I mutter.

  He offers me a sexy grin. “You know you’d miss him. We have two more full days together. We’ll make time,” he says, tucking my hair behind my ear.

  “Thank you.” Grabbing his wrist, I place a kiss on the center of his palm. “So you’re here, in front of me, what were you going to say earlier?”

  Both of his hands cradle my face, and his dark brown eyes capture mine. “I want you close to me. I want you to transfer schools and live in North Carolina. I’ve been looking at apartments, and there are several halfway between the base and UNC Wilmington. I even researched the school and the digital art program.”

  “Really?”

  “You’re my future, Austyn.”

  “I talked to Mom and Dad again last night. They support me.”

  “Yeah?” he asks, his eyes wide and full of hope, the hint of a smile lifting the corner of his mouth. “Does that mean you’ve made a decision?”

  “Not yet. I know what I want. I just need to take the leap.”

  “I’ll catch you, baby. Every damn time I’ll catch you.”

  I’m choked up thinking about what our future might hold. Words escape me, so I lean in and kiss him. That’s how Dawson finds us when he comes barreling through the door after school not long after.

  “Slade!” he cheers and rushes to the couch. He completely ignores me and the way I’m straddling his lap and throws his arms around his neck. “You’re here.”

  Slade chuckles. “Yeah, bud. I’m here for a few days.” He ruffles his hair.

  “Yes!” He throws his hands in the air in celebration.

  “Homework, Daws,” I say, partly because he needs to do his homework and partly because I want all of Slade’s attention.

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yes. Hurry and get it done. That way you can show Mom and Dad when they get home.”

  “I want to see Slade,” he whines.

  “I’m staying here, bud. You’ll have plenty of time to see me before I go.”

  That’s good enough for Dawson. He jumps off the couch and races up to his room to do his homework. Slade and I settle on the couch to watch a movie. I stretch out and lay my head in his lap. He immediately runs his fingers through my hair. I can’t remember a time I’ve ever felt more content.

  I WISH I COULD SLOW the time. When I’m with her, it flies by. My three days are up. I fly back to North Carolina early in the morning. I feel like I’ve barely blinked an eye and the time just disappeared. I’ve enjoyed my time here with her, and her family. They’ve welcomed me with open arms and accepted that I’m a part of her life. In turn, I consider them a part of mine.

  “Dad likes to cook on the grill all year long,” Austyn tells me.

  We’re sitting at her kitchen table discussing dinner. “There’s nothing like a steak on the grill,” Lee chimes in.

  “Steaks it is.” Michelle smiles at her husband. “Did you ever get another tank for the grill?”

  “Shit,” he murmurs, causing us all to laugh. “I’ll go get one now. I’ll be back in no time.”

  “I’ll come with you,” I say, standing from the table.

  “Can I go, Dad?” Dawson asks.

  “Not this time, bud. We’ll be right back.” He looks over Dawson’s head toward me, and I give him a slight nod.

  Austyn looks at me in question, and I throw her a wink. “We’ll be right back.” I bend down and kiss the top of her head. Thankfully, that’s something that they’ve all grown accustomed to by now. I can’t not touch her, not when she’s this close to me.

  I follow her dad out to his truck. He waits until we’re on the road before he breaks the silence. “What’s on your mind, son?”

  Son. “I wanted to ask you something. Just before I left base, my captain came to me. When I enlisted, we had to fill out mounds and mounds of paperwork. In that paperwork, I didn’t list a next of kin. At that time, I didn’t have anyone to notify.” I look over at him, and he nods, not taking his eyes off the road. “Now I do. I have Austyn, but I’m struggling with listing her. I love her, Lee, and the thought of her being alone when she finds out that something happened to me, I can’t bear it. I can’t get past it.”

  “What do you need from me?”

  “I know she’s strong enough to handle it. It’s my hang up. I just… don’t know what to do here. I know that when we get married, it will be her, but again, that scares the hell out of me. I don’t want her to be alone if that day ever comes.”

  “When you get married?” he asks.

  I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but that doesn’t stop me from forging ahead. “When,” I say again. “I guess since we’re here and all alone, I can go ahead and ask you for her hand in marriage. I’m not proposing anytime soon,” I rush to say. “She still has to decide what she wants to do with college. I don’t want to pressure her.”

  “So you’re telling me you haven’t told her to move to North Carolina?”

  “Oh no, I told her if I had my say, that she would already be there. But I also told her that no matter what she decides, where she wants to go to school, that she and I are in this together. We’ll figure it out no matter what she wants to do.”

  He nods. “I appreciate you not pressuring her.”

  “Pressuring her just puts more stress on her. I want her to follow her dream, do something she loves and get a good education. I did tell her that I would pay for her to have an apartment.” I don’t tell him that I’d live there too. I do
n’t want him to discourage her in any way.

  He’s quiet for a few minutes. “So we have a couple of different things going on here, Slade. First, let’s get back to this marriage thing. You asking?”

  “Yes, sir. Lee, I would love your blessing to one day, when she’s ready, to marry your daughter.”

  “I like you, Slade. I do. I think you’re a good kid, with a good head on your shoulders. Giving you permission to take my baby girl from me is something I’m not sure I’m ready to do.”

  I nod, defeated. “I understand that. Just know that I don’t need your blessing, and even if I don’t get it, I’m going to ask her. She’s my entire world. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Without her, I’m not me. She’s the missing part of me that I didn’t know I was missing. I love your daughter, Lee. Nothing’s ever going to change that. Meeting Austyn changed my life.”

  He’s quiet for a few minutes. I let the silence stretch between us. Letting my words sink in. “I’d be honored to have you as a part of my family. Just don’t pressure her, okay? Give her time.”

  “I’m not in a big rush, but it’s going to happen. When she’s ready, it’s going to happen.”

  “You think she’ll say yes?” he challenges me.

  “You think she’ll say no?” I fire back.

  We both laugh. “She loves you,” he finally says. “Now the second issue. What are you thinking?”

  “If I don’t list someone, no one will be notified. Of course, Combs, I mean Brandon will be there too, but if he’s hurt as well or if communication is scarce, she won’t be told that I’m hurt or worse.” I swallow back the lump in my throat. “That I’m gone.”

  “Let’s just think about you coming home safe.”

  “I do, but I’m not naive enough to think I’m indestructible.” He pulls into the local convenience store and turns off the engine. He turns to face me, and I rush to get the words out. “I was wondering if maybe, if I could list you? I don’t have any family. It’s just Austyn, and like I said, the thought of her being alone when she gets the news doesn’t sit well with me.”

  “If you two get married, like you say that you are, you’ll have to list her eventually.”

  “No, I could keep you on the list.”

  “She’s not going to like that too much. I’m sure she’s not thinking about it now, but by then, especially with Savannah and Brandon getting married this summer, those girls talk, and it will eventually come to her.”

  “Maybe. I’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I just… I don’t know. The thought of being so far from her and leaving her, it kills me. I didn’t have anything to lose when I enlisted. Now I have everything.”

  “What if she moves to North Carolina? You still want it to be me?”

  “I do. I don’t want her there alone. I mean, yeah, she’ll have Savannah, but I just… I don’t know. It’s a feeling I have deep in my gut telling me that this is the way I can support her in the event something does happen. It’s my way of making sure she’s got her support system surrounding her in the event of… something bad.”

  “I can respect that. I can see how much you love her, Slade. You two can get through this, but if it’s me you want to list, I’m fine with that. You’re family now, and from what you’re telling me, that’s not going to change.”

  “No, sir. Not if I can help it.”

  “It’s settled then.” He reaches for the door handle and climbs out of the truck. An exhale whooshes out of me. That went much easier than I thought it would, on both topics. It’s been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Combs has been talking a lot about the wedding and changing all his stuff to Savannah, and it hit me: I have no one listed. I know Austyn won’t get any benefits unless we’re married, but she will get all that I have otherwise. I’ve already made the call to list her as my sole beneficiary on all my accounts and investments. I haven’t told her, and I don’t know that I will. In the event that something does happen, she’ll be notified.

  After grabbing the new tank for the grill, we head back to the house. Austyn gives me a “how did it go?” look, and I smile and pull her into me, kissing the top of her head. I don’t say anything because I don’t know how to. How do I tell her that she’s my world and that she’s given me so much these last few months? How do I tell her that I’m scared as hell that I won’t come home to her, that I’ll leave her broken? Not only do I not have the words, but I don’t want to worry her.

  We spend the rest of the night laughing and joking with her family. Dawson steals the show with his talk of a field trip he’s going on this week. The kid’s excitement is infectious.

  Lee and Michelle put Dawson to bed and wish us goodnight. Austyn and I head down to the basement to watch a movie. We’re curled up on the couch, her back to my front as we watch TV. When her breathing evens out, I know she’s asleep. “I love you.” I kiss her shoulder and let sleep claim me.

  IN THE LOCAL COFFEE SHOP with Savannah, we’re going over her wedding plans. While it’s going to be a small intimate affair, there’s still the dress, flowers, lodging for the guests, and the reception to get organized.

  “So you think the local steakhouse is sufficient?” she asks.

  “I do. There’s going to be less than twenty people. I think if you call ahead, maybe talk to the manager and explain, they will easily accommodate us.”

  “Three more months. I just have to get through this semester and then I can work on transferring schools.”

  “It’s all going to work out. We have all summer to take care of that.”

  “I’m getting married, Aust. We’re really doing it.”

  “Never doubted it.” I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. I’ve always known those two would go the distance.

  “When Brandon and I started dating freshman year, I never would have guessed this is where we’d end up. I can’t wait to start our lives together.”

  “You don’t have long to wait, future Mrs. Combs.” She beams at that.

  “Are you going to come with me?”

  “Yeah, I told you I’d stay the week of the wedding.”

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

  “I think I am,” I tell her. “I love him, you know? And teaching isn’t for me, not like I first thought it would be. That was my dream when I was younger, and I never really let myself consider anything else.”

  “You’ve always liked graphic design. Hell, you led the yearbook committee junior and senior year. That’s your passion. I don’t know how either one of us didn’t see this sooner.” She laughs.

  “Yeah, I really think it is.”

  “So, you’re moving to North Carolina, moving in with Slade? How’d he take it?”

  “I haven’t told him yet,” I confess.

  “What? What are you waiting for?”

  “I don’t know, honestly. I guess I’m just giving myself time to adjust to my decision. This is a huge step for us. We’ve only been together a few months.”

  “Six months,” she corrects me. “That’s half a year.”

  “Yeah, and we’ve been together a handful of times. What if he leaves his dirty socks lying around or the seat up on the toilet and I can’t deal?”

  She throws her head back in laughter. “Come on, Aust,” she chides. “Do you not think that every couple goes through that? Hell, I’ve been with Brandon for five years and we’re going to be dealing with the same stuff. We’ve never lived together before.”

  “What if he changes his mind?” I whisper. “I know he loves me, but living together is totally different. I’d be there all alone.”

  “First of all, you’re not alone. I’ll be there and so will Brandon. Second, you can always go home or switch to the dorms. You will be an instate student at that point. Third, he’s not going to change his mind. Do you even see the way he looks at you? Hell, the way he talks about you…. Brandon said from day one that he was a goner for you. You two are the real deal. Don’t let fear keep
you from following your heart.”

  I let her words sink in and I know she’s right. I’m sure that this is the correct decision for me, and no matter what happens between us, UNC Wilmington is a great school and their program is stellar. “I’ll tell him. I know I should have already, and I will. I mean, I’ll have to, right? We’re moving in together.” I can’t hide the smile the forms. “What about you? Married housing?”

  “Yeah, they give an allowance to married couples. It makes the most sense, at least until I graduate from college.” She looks at her watch. “Crap, I’m gonna be late for class. Thanks for meeting me. I can’t believe I’m getting married in three months,” she says excitedly. I help her gather her things and shove them in her bag. “I’ll call you later,” she says, and flies out the door.

  On the drive home, my phone rings. Seeing that it’s Slade and it’s the middle of the day, I wonder if he’s surprising me again. “Hey, handsome,” I greet him.

  “Hey, babe. How was class?”

  “Good. I met with Savvy after to go over the wedding details. I’m headed home now. What’s up? Are you waiting for me on the front porch?” I ask, hopeful.

  He chuckles. “I wish. No, I have some news. I’ll wait until you get home to tell you.”

  “Tell me now.”

  “It can wait. You’re almost home, right?”

  “Yeah, about three minutes away. You’re scaring me.”

  “That’s not my intention.”

  “I was going to call you tonight with some news of my own.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Care to enlighten me?”

  “Oh, I think I’ll wait until I get home.”

  He laughs. “I get it,” he says.

  We make idle chitchat about what’s been going on in our lives. He’s settling into a routine, and I couldn’t be prouder of him. “All right, mister. I just pulled into the driveway so spill.”

  “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to tell you. I got word today. It’s happening. I’m being deployed.”

  My heart stills in my chest before it kickstarts into a heavy rhythm beating harshly against my ribcage. I knew this day would come, but I thought we had more time. I’m not ready.