Pull You Through

by Kaylee Ryan

  I don’t respond. I’m numb. He’s hurt and alone, and they said he was stable, but is he? Is that what they tell families, so they don’t worry until they get there? What am I going to find when I get to him? How bad is he? An onslaught of questions filters through my mind.

  “Austyn?” Dad says from the doorway. I shake away my thoughts and look up at him. “They sent me everything. I’m going to go book our flights and pack.” He doesn’t wait for a reply. Instead, he gives me a sad smile and walks back downstairs.

  Dad was able to get us on the next flight out. We had two layovers, but finally, after hours and hours of traveling and worry, we’re here. The cab pulls up in front of the hospital, and we climb out, our bags in hand. He tried to get me to go to the hotel first to check in, but I begged him to take me to Slade. It didn’t take much to convince him. I can tell he’s just as worried as I am.

  “Hi, we’re here for Slade Reeves,” Dad tells the receptionist.

  “Are you family?” she asks.

  “Yes, ma’am. I should be listed as his next of kin.” He goes on to give her his name and ID.

  “Of course, he’s on the fifth floor.” She looks over at me. “Only immediate family can go in,” she says apologetically.

  “She’s his fiancée. Is he awake?” Dad asks.

  “I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask the nurses on that floor.”

  “Thank you.” With his hand on my shoulder, he guides me to the elevators. “He’ll be asking for you,” Dad tells me. “That I’m certain. They won’t refuse you to enter when he asks for you.”

  I nod. I want to see him, but even more than that, I need to know he’s okay. I want to hold him, kiss him, touch him, but the need to know he’s going to be okay, that he’s going to make it out of here and come home to me, trumps it all.

  We exit the elevator and Dad leads us to the nurses’ station. He asks for Slade, and after confirming that he is indeed on the list, we’re told to have a seat, and the doctor will be out to talk to us soon.

  “That’s bad, right? Why can’t we go in and see him?” I ask Dad.

  “Honey, I’m sure he just wants to update us on his condition before we go in.”

  “Why? We should be able to go see him, and he can tell us himself.”

  “Austyn.” Dad turns in his chair to face me. “I need you to take a deep breath.” He waits for me to do so.

  “The family of Slade Reeves?” an older gentleman in a white coat asks from the doorway.

  “That’s us.” Dad stands, pulling me out of my chair by my hand to stand beside him.

  “Mr. Wilson?” the older gentleman clarifies.

  “Yes, this is my daughter, Austyn. She’s Slade’s fiancée.”

  “Right, I’m PFC Reeve’s physician. Let’s go to a private room.” He turns and walks away leaving us to follow along behind him.

  I grip Dad’s hand with all I’ve got. This can’t be good. Why are we in a private room? My palms are sweaty, and my heart’s beating so fast I know they can hear it. My belly feels like there’s a pound of coal just sitting deep in its pits, heavy fear like I’ve never felt before.

  “Mr. Wilson, Private First Class Reeves has sustained multiple injuries. He’s undergone two surgeries since his arrival and is being prepped for number three.”

  “Oh God,” I sob.

  The doctor continues. “There are risks to any surgical procedure, but he’s young and healthy, and we do expect him to recover.” Some of the dread lifts until he says, “However, it’s going to be a long road to recovery. PFC Reeves shattered his leg. We’ve attached rods and pins, His arm is broken, and his rotator cuff is torn. That’s his next surgery. We’re going in to repair it. In some cases, tears can heal on their own in time, but we feel it will aid his recovery if we surgically repair the cuff as well.”

  “Can we see him?” Dad asks.

  I’m gripping onto his arm, tears rolling down my face as I listen to the doctor tick off his injuries as if he were reading from a textbook.

  “I’m afraid not until he’s out of recovery. The surgery is normally done via outpatient and is a quick procedure. I’ll send a nurse to get you once he’s back in his room.”

  “Please.” My voice is raspy and thick with emotion. “Can I see him?”

  He gives me a sad smile. “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head. “I’ll be sure to have you updated when he’s out of surgery and in recovery.” He turns and walks away, leaving us to stare after him.

  “Let’s go check into the hotel. It’s just down the street. We’ll grab a bite to eat and head back,” Dad suggests.

  “No. I’m not leaving until I see him. What if he wakes up and asks for me and I’m not here?”

  “Austyn, sweetheart, he’s in surgery. He’s not going to be asking for you.”

  “You heard him. It’s a quick procedure. I’m not leaving. You go get us checked in.”

  “I don’t want to leave you here alone. Not to mention they won’t tell you anything.”

  “I’m not leaving.”

  “Okay,” he concedes. “I’m going to get us checked in and drop off our bags. I’ll keep my phone on. I shouldn’t be gone more than twenty minutes.”

  “I’ll be here,” I assure him. Nothing is going to pull me from this hospital until I see him.

  BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

  The annoying sound is what greets me. What the fuck is that? I try to open my eyes, but they won’t open. They feel like they’re matted shut.

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  It won’t fucking stop. My body feels like I’ve been hit by a truck. What the fuck happened?

  “Mr. Reeves, can you hear me?” A female voice asks.

  Who is she? It’s not Austyn, I would know her voice anywhere. Oh shit, where am I? I try again to pry open my eyes, and when they open, I’m greeted with bright white lights.

  “Sorry, let me turn those off.” I hear her feet rustle across the floor, then her hands, cold as ice, nothing like Austyn’s, touch. “Try again. The lights are off.”

  Doing as she says, I force my eyes to open and find a woman in blue scrubs standing over me. “Welcome back. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. First I need to check your vital signs.”

  “Where am I?” I croak out the words, my voice raspy and dry to the point of pain.

  “You’re at a hospital in Germany. You have quite a few injuries, but I’ll let the doctor explain.”

  Closing my eyes, I try to remember what happened, how I got here. That’s when I remember. We were on patrol, the Humvee, Jeffers, and Spiller. I feel like I’m going to be sick. The beeping grows louder.

  “Mr. Reeves, that’s your heart monitor. Take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. You need to stay calm.”

  “My brothers, where are they?”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t know. I can try to find out for you. I’m going to get the doctor. I’ll be right back.” She leaves the room and me to my thoughts. I remember getting Spiller out; he was on fire. Combs and I got the flames extinguished, but Jeffers…. I swallow back the lump in my throat, the explosion.

  “PFC Reeves, I’m Dr. Craft. How’s your pain on a scale of one to ten? Ten being high and one being low.”

  “Ten.” My throat feels like I’ve swallowed a bed of nails. “W-what…” I try to speak but the pain searing my desert-dry throat is too much. A nurse, who I didn’t see, places a cup and a straw to my lips and I sip greedily. The cold liquid is soothing.

  “What happened?” I ask the doctor. “My brothers, there were four of us on patrol. How are they?” I close my eyes as memories of the explosion play like a highlight reel in my mind.

  “I’m not certain. You were brought in yesterday. You’ve undergone three surgeries since then. One, to remove your spleen, the second was to repair your leg. The bones were shattered. We had to use rods and pins during the repair. Your final surgery was just about an hour ago. We had to go in and repair your torn rotator cuff. The one on the arm that is broke
n.”

  I try to keep up with everything he’s saying. “My family, Austyn?” I ask.

  “There is a Mr. Wilson here and his daughter, who claims to be your fiancée, in the waiting room. They arrived just before you went into surgery.”

  “Can I see them?”

  “I’ll have the nurse send them in. I’m going to give you something for the pain, which will make you drowsy.”

  “Wait, let me see her first. Please. I can handle the pain, just let me see her.”

  “A few minutes. I’ll have the nurse send them in.”

  I close my eyes and wait. The beep, beep, beep is the only sound in the room, and it’s about to drive me mad. The sound is doing nothing for my frayed nerves. The panic of what happened to the others. Tears prick my eyes when I think about Jeffers. Is it possible he was able to also survive the second explosion? What about Combs and Spiller? Are they here too? The pain that has taken over my body tells me I’m lucky to be here. To have survived.

  Faintly, I hear what sounds like the door opening. I force my eyes to open, and that’s when I see her. My angel. Her eyes are cloudy with tears, but I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight. With my one good arm, I lift my hand and hold it out for her, fighting back the cringe of pain. My entire fucking body hurts to move, but there is no amount of pain that will keep me from holding her. Standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders is her father. I want to thank him for bringing her to me, but right now I can only focus on her.

  A sob rips from her chest, and her hand covers her mouth. “Angel,” I call out to her.

  “Go,” her father whispers.

  Slowly, she takes tiny steps toward me where I lie broken in this bed. When she gets close enough to reach out for my hand, she takes it softy, and I let my arm drop, causing her to move forward. “I missed you,” I tell her.

  She smiles through her tears. “I missed you, too.” She takes the chair next to the bed, and her father comes to stand next to her.

  “Slade,” he greets me.

  “Hey. Thanks for this.” I move my eyes back to Austyn.

  “You’re family. The doctor says you should make a full recovery, but it’s going to be a long road for you.”

  “I didn’t really ask.” My first thought was her, and then the others. I know I’m alive. I don’t need them to tell me the recovery is going to be a long road, I can feel it from the pain that courses through me from head to toe. There is not a single inch of my body that doesn’t hurt. Once he told me you and Austyn was here, that’s all I cared about.

  “No, he didn’t,” I hear the doctor’s voice behind him. He steps into view. “He was more worried about seeing you.” He looks at Austyn. “Mr. Reeves, we should really give you something for the pain. There is no sense in you suffering, and it hinders the healing process. Your body is fighting the pain on its own.”

  “Slade,” Austyn scolds me, and despite her tone, I’ve never heard a sweeter sound. “You need to take something for the pain,” she says, wiping her tears.

  “I know.” I turn my head to face her. God, she’s fucking beautiful. “I told him I would. I just needed to see you first. It’s been too long.” I lift our combined hands and kiss her knuckles.

  “Take care of you,” she whispers and gives me a watery smile.

  “I love you,” I tell her.

  “I love you, too.” She faces the doctor. “Give it to him now.”

  “I’m sorry, but you’re not on the list to make decisions.”

  “She is the decision. She’s my life.”

  The doctor nods. “All right then.” He moves to my IV and administers the medication. “I’ll put in orders for the nurses administer new meds every four hours. You get some rest.” He turns to leave then stops. “The pain medication will cause him to be drowsy. He needs his rest.”

  “Got it.” Austyn nods. She watches him leave then turns back to me. “You heard him, you need your rest.” Her eyes are fixed firmly on me, her eyes roaming over my injuries. There’s a beautiful determination in her stare, as if it’s her new mission in life to make sure I’m resting. “I mean it.”

  Already my pain is easing and my head’s becoming hazy. “I had to see you first,” I murmur.

  “Well, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” She brushes her soft hand over my cheek, and I close my eyes a moment.

  Forcing them back open and fighting the drugs, I turn to Lee. “Thank you, for bringing her here.” I close my eyes again. “I was with Combs, and Spiller, and Jeffers. I don’t know how any of them are and they won’t tell me anything.”

  “Brandon’s okay. He wasn’t allowed to call, but they did call Savannah and tell her he was safe and unharmed,” Austyn explains.

  With effort, I swallow the lump in my throat. “That’s good,” I practically slur. The pain meds are really kicking in. I can also feel the bile rising in my throat as I think about my brothers.

  “Sleep, knight,” her sweet voice whispers. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  My eyes are too heavy, so I squeeze her hand; at least, I think I do. I’m not sure it actually happened as the meds take over and I drift off to a painless sleep.

  I FINALLY CONVINCED DAD TO go to the hotel and get some sleep. The nursing staff brought in a chair that leans back into a bed of sorts, as well as a blanket and a pillow. I’m good with that. I’m not leaving him. When I walked into his room and laid eyes on him for the first time, I had to fight to keep my composure. He’s battered and bruised. His arm is in a sling, his leg the same, lifted into the air.

  Sitting here holding his good hand, I thank God for keeping him safe. He’s lucky, so damn lucky to be alive. I want to crawl into bed with him, rest my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat. But I can’t; there are too many wires, and I’m scared to death I’ll cause him pain, so I settle for holding his hand and placing my other on his chest, right over his heart. I feel its steady rhythm, not that the annoying beep of the monitor would let me forget. But he’s breathing on his own, he knows who we are, and he’s going to recover. He’s battered and bruised, but he’s still my knight.

  “Hey, beautiful,” his sleep-laced voice greets me.

  “Hey, handsome.” I stand and kiss his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay,” he assures me.

  “You will be, but that’s not what I asked. I asked how you were feeling?”

  “Hurting a little,” he confesses.

  “I’ll get the nurse.” I turn, and his grip on my hand and the wince of pain from the act stop me in my tracks.

  “I’m okay. Right now, I just want to see you. How are you holding up?”

  “Me?” I laugh. “Now that I know you’re going to be okay, I’m perfect.”

  “You always have been,” he flirts.

  “Look at you, lying here after you’ve been through hell and all you can do is charm me.” I shake my head at him.

  “You’re all that matters.”

  “What matters is that you’re okay. That I still have you here with me.”

  “The explosion, you were my first thought.”

  “You want to talk about it?”

  “Nothing to say. It happened. I’m here. I’ll recover.”

  “Slade.”

  “Honestly, I’m good. I need to know how the guys are, but other than that, I’m good. Promise.”

  “I’ll let it slide, for now. But eventually, you’re going to have to talk about it. I’m here for you, no matter what you need.”

  “What I need is a kiss.”

  “That I can do.” I press my lips softly to his.

  “Just as sweet as I remember.” He moves his position and winces in pain.

  “Knock, knock.” The nurse enters the room. “I have orders for more pain medication. What’s your number, PFC Reeves, one to ten, ten being high, one being low?”

  “Ten,” he says, closing his eyes.

  “He just tried to move, and winced,” I tell her.

>   “You can expect that for a few more days at least. Once you’re stable with your pain management, we’ll transfer you back to the States to a veterans hospital to finish your care. You’re going to need lots of physical therapy on that leg and shoulder.”

  “Do you know if he gets to choose where he goes?”

  “Usually a VA hospital closest to home so that loved ones can help take care of him.”

  Mentally, I’m already planning for him to come home to Kentucky. We have a VA hospital just about twenty miles from Mom and Dads.

  “Where’s home?” the nurse asks Slade.

  He looks over at me. “Where ever she is.”

  “Kentucky,” I tell her. “There’s a VA Hospital close to us.”

  “That where you want to go?” she asks Slade.

  “I just told you that,” he snaps at her.

  “I’ll make a note,” she says, not letting his attitude faze her. She pushes his meds into the IV and leaves the room quietly.

  I want to scold him for how he treated her, but I’m sure it’s the pain talking; he’s been through so much. “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  His eyes close and his rapid breathing evens out. I sit there next to him, holding his hand, watching him sleep. “I love you,” I whisper, knowing he can’t hear me, but needing to tell him all the same.

  “Hey.” Dad walks slowly into the room. “How is he?”

  “Good, they just gave him more pain meds about fifteen minutes ago. He’s out for the count.”

  “Let’s head down and grab a bite to eat.”

  I waver, but I know the meds knocked him out. I feel better knowing he’s going to recover. “Yeah, maybe a bagel or something,” I concede. We grab some food in the cafeteria. We both end up with turkey subs and a bag of chips. “The nurse was saying that once his pain and injuries are stabilized, he’ll be transferred to a VA hospital in the States,” I tell him.

  “Does she know where?”