by Pamela Ann
“Trista,” I whispered against his cheek. I shivered deliciously when my cheek made contact to the light stubble he had on his jaw. Could I melt some more, please? I clung on to him as we danced together. I liked how he didn’t really push himself on me, or feel me up like other men would. His hands stayed put on my hips, planted firmly. I finished off my champagne to the very last drop.
“Here, let me dispose of it.” James took the bottle, tossed it away and was back in a flash, looking too irresistible and without much restraint; I pulled him close and kissed him. As my kisses deepened, it earned me a satisfied moan from him. In under a minute, James weaved us through the crowd, half kissing as we went along. We both made a sighing sound once we were against a wall, somewhat hidden, close to where our table was, but I couldn’t be bothered to check if Taylor was there or not. He was the last thing I needed to see when I was getting my freak on.
James didn’t hold back kissing me this time. I pressed my body against him, matching his fevered kisses, his hands wandering. One cupped my breast, the other holding my ass in place, pushing it against his raging hard-on. Yes! I silently screamed in my head. Make me forget. Even just for a little while. I just want to forget about it all.
Then I heard his laugh somewhere. My eyes snapped open, searching to find where it originated from, still lip-locked with James. My eyes scanned the crowd, stopping almost right across from me. Taylor was talking to a woman, whose features I couldn’t see because she was facing him, so close to him. In fact, she looked like she was about to begin kissing him. I was sure she’s just waiting for the right moment. I loudly gasped against James’s lips when he grinded his hips against mine.
Forget Taylor and his lady brunette. I commanded my mind to focus on the kiss because it was getting extremely hot and loaded. I tilted my head back when James sought my neck, kissing it. My front teeth sunk into my bottom lip when James gave my left breast a hard squeeze.
That weird feeling of being watched caught my attention. My eyes connected to Taylor’s. He looked observant, but at the same time, guarded and challenging. I broke eye contact when James parted from the crook of my neck. He placed his cheek against my own, as he tried to level his breathing. It was not a great wonder to me since I knew how tortured he was. The hardness of him poked me, sending warmth and excitement all over me.
“I apologize if I’m being too aggressive. You have completely broken down any self-control I had left.” James bluntly admitted, while his hands freely roamed, skimming my physique.
“Take me to your room,” I said looking up at him. I haven’t been with anyone since Harry. For the first time in my life, I hadn’t declined when the doctor offered birth control like I usually did. There was never going to be a next time. I was going to be extra careful from now on. A broken condom was simply not reliable, note taken.
James seemed taken aback by my blatant invitation. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured.” He genuinely sounded like he meant it, but my mind was made up. It was best to get on with it.
If I was to be a prisoner of my dark conscience, indulging in sexual urges was a small consolation. It was the only thing that was left for me to enjoy. Well, I hoped I would, at least.
“Yes, I’m sure.” I leveled my eyes at him so he could see how serious I was. James bent over and kissed me one more time before he ushered us towards the exit door. James took hold of my hand, leading me away from the club.
“Excuse me, but you’re leaving with my woman.” That stopped us walking; the voice of Taylor was quite close behind us.
James spun around, pissed off. “I have spent the last hour with her, kissing her. From where I’m standing, she’s with me.”
Taylor sent me a murderous glare before he looked back to James. “We had a misunderstanding. Trista did that to make me jealous. Well, mission accomplished. That doesn’t change the fact that she’s mine. So, if you don’t mind, could you kindly take your hands off what’s mine and scurry off?”
Mortified didn’t even come close to what I was feeling at the moment. My cheeks suffused with blatant embarrassment when James gave me an accusing glare. “Bloody fucking hell, women! I would rue the day!” He shouted as he started to walk away from us.
I gently pushed his chest, angry and frustrated. “What are you now? Cock Nazi? It’s none of your business, Taylor. What the hell! That was uncalled for.”
“It was for your own good. You’re obviously drunk. I didn’t want you to regret it the next day. Especially after yesterday, I couldn’t risk it. I had to stop you from making that error.” Taylor slipped his hands inside his pockets while he regarded my reaction.
True, I was drunk, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have a damn clue about what was about to happen. Heck, I initiated it. “There were never going to be regrets, Taylor. I asked him to take me back to his room. I wanted to have sex with him. I knew what I wanted and I just went after it. I wasn’t a drunk damsel in distress that needed saving from you.”
His eyes flicked from my head to my feet, and back up again. “Why? Last night, you told me you were so fucking in love with Harry. Fucking another man is a stupid solution to that, Trista.” Taylor frowned at me.
An irritated laugh came from me. “This wasn’t about love. Maybe I just like sex. Have you considered that?”
“Let’s go back to the villa. You need to rest. You look tired.” Taylor placed a hand behind my back and pushed me forward. “I spoke to Lindsey earlier. She’s with a bunch of girls from New York. She also has her cellphone with her, so we can reach her anytime. Now, let’s get a move on.”
The short fifteen minute walk was silent. The fact that I was hyper-aware of his movements, his breathing and his smell, dampened my mood even more. The fact that his hand never left the warmth of my back, didn’t help at all.
When we got to our villa, he refused to leave my room just as he had the night before. After his quick shower in his own bathroom, he came back to mine and sought the opposite side of the bed.
After ten minutes or so in bed, his phone started ringing. After a few rings, it died. The sheets made a crisp sound as he moved, reaching for it. “I wish I could put this on silent, but Lindsey might call.” His considerate, protective nature stretched to Lindsey as well, though, that nature didn’t seem to be as bad as it was towards me.
I was a tad intrigued. “Who called you?” When my eyes made a quick pass to his face, I saw his frown. Okay, now I was fucking curious.
He stretched out and placed his hands behind his head. “My ex, Megan. She might call again, so I apologize ahead of time.”
His honest revelation surprised me. Most men wouldn’t be too quick to respond about something like that. Most of them deny their pasts and cover up other women in their lives, but not Taylor. In that one moment he showed me that he’s straightforward as hell. I was a bit ticked off. Why? I wasn’t sure, but it bothered me to know that he’s talking to his ex. Of course pretty boy was attractive, and I’m sure he had tons of women at his beck and call, however, I didn’t want to see him that way. To me, he was just Taylor—the guy I just recently had met—who saved me and infuriated me.
“Were you guys in love?” I whispered, staring at the ceiling, like him.
“For a couple of years, we were, but somewhere along the way, things fell apart. We agreed that breaking up was the best thing for both of us. She started calling three months after, that was six months ago.” Taylor sounded like his thoughts were so far away, like he was remembering his relationship with Megan and their love.
What would it be like to fall for someone who could freely love you back? To have them openly declare their love and affection. To be able to openly show people how much you care for each other?
A one-woman kind of man.
“If she asked you to give it another go, would you go back?” I wondered out loud.
He took a good minute or two to consider my question. “I’m not going to lie and say that the thought hasn’t
crossed my mind. Our relationship was great. Megan and I understood each other. We’re both competitive in nature, and we both thrived on it. I guess we were good together, but somewhere down the line, we drifted apart.”
Why did it feel like I was being poked each time he mentioned her name?
My prodding about his past didn’t ease my curiosity. In fact, it got worse. I was imagining all sorts of things in my head. When his phone rang again, breaking the silence in the room, I reached out above his body for the phone. “Hello?” I answered the call.
“Trista!” Taylor hissed behind me. His hot body almost touching my back, but he was careful not to touch me.
Nah uh, he messed with my night with James earlier. It was my time to mess with his.
“Can I speak to Taylor?” a soft, angelic voice came on the other end, a tad shaky.
Taylor tried to grab the phone from my ear, but I out maneuvered him and slapped his hand away. “Taylor is unavailable at the moment. Can I take a message?” I sounded flirty and buoyant. Possibly because I was still drunk, or maybe because I was having a blast making Taylor squirm—in any case I sure was having a terrific time.
Instead of answering my question, Megan went straight for an interrogation of her own. “Are you his girlfriend?”
Taylor was behind my back trying to steal his phone from my tight hold, but I managed to move away from him and tried to crawl using my elbows. His hands were too quick, though. He swiftly grabbed my ankles, pulling them towards him. With will and might, I tried to kick his hands off except I somehow ended up being rolled over on my back. Looking away from him, I focused on the call. “Taylor and I aren’t like that. We’re just fuck buddies, you know,” I wickedly said, breathless.
Megan gasped at my crude retort. She hung up a second after that. Oh, boo! I wanted to toy with Taylor some more, but Megan cut it short. “Here, she hung up on me. Megan sounds lovely by the way. I could just picture her as ladylike and very proper.”
I handed him his phone back, but I stiffened in the midst of it. I was frozen on the fucking spot when I caught his eyes staring sharply at my slightly, parted legs. I swallowed nervously, my throat suddenly dry at the dark intensity of his hungry, devouring gaze. I felt utterly clueless what to do next. I couldn’t even summon enough energy to close my parted thighs. It was as if his eyes had the power of holding them in place while they simultaneously showed me how badly he wanted me.
“Why aren’t you wearing any underwear?” Taylor was finally able to rasp out, his voice decadently heavy with desire, eyes still glued on my exposed, bare genitalia.
“I never wear any when I’m sleeping,” I whispered before I urged my body to move. I counted from one to ten and willed my body to do so. When it finally did, I was still shaken. Shaken from my response to him, but most of all, shaken from the desire I heard in his voice. Taylor and I can’t happen. That’s that. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to flash you. I wasn’t trying to seduce you, in case you’d think otherwise.”
“Right, I forgot, I’m not your type. Of course you wouldn’t be seducing men like me. It never crossed my mind that you would.” Taylor gave me a curt nod and removes himself back to the side of the bed he had been inhabiting before we got interrupted by Megan.
Once we quieted, I couldn’t leave the subject alone. “You sound mad. Is that because you wanted me?”
Taylor hissed again. “Any man with a dick would be turned on at a close-up of a vagina. It was just a normal reaction for any hot-blooded male. You shouldn’t dwell on it.”
His stupid tone irked me to pieces. “Good to know. Sex with you would be a damn snore anyway. So, don’t even toy with the idea.” I declared before rolling on my side. I waited for his reply, but it never came.
In fact, Taylor was silent. I wondered if he was asleep, but my pride wouldn’t let me check if he was or not.
I fell asleep listening to his breathing. The last thought I had was him, and that look he had earlier. The one where his gaze told me how much he wanted to fuck the living shit out of me.
Chapter 9
Trista
The next day, I woke up alone in bed. My eyes were stuck staring at the dent Taylor’s head made on the pillow. My fingers softly trailed the outline while my thoughts brought me back to the events of last night.
All he needed was a little nudge and things would’ve have turned out hot and heavy, but I knew I couldn’t go there. Dragging my body off the bed, I took a long shower. Once done, I managed to style my hair and put some make-up on. Memories of Taylor the night before made my heart skitter inside my chest throughout the routine of getting ready.
I had decided that today I would pretend like last night wasn’t awkward at all. Taylor was a decent guy. I suppose, he could be slotted in the “gentleman” section.
I gave my reflection a once over and found satisfaction in what I saw. I perked up before I left the bedroom. What greeted me, though, was not what I had expected. There were four girls outside enjoying the mid-sized pool, overlooking the sea. What caught my interest was the fact that Taylor was with them. Engaging and obviously enjoying the attention these women gave him.
The outdoor dining table had food and pastries scattered about. Lindsey was on the other end typing her fingers away. She looked up when she saw me pull up a chair and join her. “Hey, you missed lunch again!”
I gave her a small smile. “Nothing new there. Go back to whatever you’re doing. I’m going to eat and go through my phone.”
Lindsey quickly glanced at the playful women. “Those were the New Yorkers I met last night. They seem to have taken a major interest in Taylor. I think they’re trying to see who gets him first. It’s like a competition.”
I don’t care about him and his stupid women. “That’s awesome! The guy needs some lovin’, too.” I may not mean it, but it sounded believable. No matter how loud they got, I trained myself not to look in their direction. Instead, I poured myself a cup of coffee and loaded my plate with food.
“You don’t sound that convincing to me, but okay, whatever you say,” said the doubtful woman as she typed away on her keyboard.
I didn’t even try to argue with her, I simply wasn’t in the mood. In dire need of some distraction, I pulled my phone out of my purse and turned it on. There was a message from Mom, Amber and lastly, from Harry. My hand shook at the mere sight of his name on my phone for the first time in a month. Truly, I never expected him to contact me again. Like the true masochist that I was, I opened his message first.
Check your email, please.
H
What did he want to say to me that he couldn’t have sent on a text message?
Curious, and certainly dying of desire to know what his email might be, I turned my attention to the woman still tapping away on her computer next to me. “Linds, is it okay if I could use your laptop? I need to check my email really quick.” My data plan for my mobile didn’t work around here. I forgot to inform my carrier that I was traveling abroad.
“Yep, I have to call home, anyway. Not to mention, Carter’s been really annoying. I have to call him back.” Lindsey saved her work, and after a few clicks, she got up and handed me her laptop.
I made sure she left before I checked my email. The noise the people in the pool made could barely mute the loud, thudding sound my heart was making when I clicked to open the electronic letter.
There’s no excuse for my actions. I know it hurt you, for that I am deeply sorry. You must see how complicated my life would be if I hadn’t asked that of you. I hope someday, you can find it in you to forgive me.
I think you of everyday. There’s never a day that I don’t. I guess that would be my punishment. To love someone I can’t have.
Are you having a great time in Greece? I try to convince myself that you’re probably around men who are vying for your attention. I want you to be happy.
A small part of me, hopes that you aren’t. I don’t blame you if you’ve moved on, though. You’re young and fr
ee.
You’re free now… free of me.
Goodbye my love.
I reread it again, my breathing ragged, my body slightly shaking from anger and his audacity. With all this pent up emotion, I knew I couldn’t just email him back. I needed to talk to him. My phone may not have Internet, but I surely have the capacity to make calls and send messages. I made sure I logged out of my email first before I strode towards the other side of the small cliff. It led towards the shore, and would provide the amount of privacy I needed.
The steps heading to the shore were steep, but my purposeful determination didn’t even make me pause to be cautious. How could Harry be so selfish? After weeks of not hearing from him, he comes knocking like what he did wasn’t that big of a deal. Was the email supposed to be a band-aid to the damage he had caused? But the most disconcerting part was that amidst all these hateful and furious emotions that had me strung out at the moment, I felt a little hope flourish. It was pitiful, pathetic and absolutely absurd, that I—after all that’s happened to me—would still be pining and hoping that he might want to rekindle our relationship.
Once I was safely on the sand, I was glad to find that there was no one around. The small strip of sand was nestled in between two huge boulders. I tried to gather as much strength and rationale before I decided I was ready to hear his voice again. My fingers trembled when I touched the screen to send the call. My heart shot up manically once I heard the first ring echo in my delicate ear.
“Trista,” Harry breathlessly said after the second ring.
Oh, God. I could feel my barriers slowly sliding off, easing at the mere sound of his voice. Fuck, I cursed repeatedly. Think of Emma and how she reacted when she found out about Carter’s betrayal. She broke down, but persevered. Think of what Lindsey would’ve done, if a guy messed with her. She would have made them pay.
