by Pamela Ann
Harry had to know the kind of pain and hurt he inflicted on me. Loving him only gave him the power to hurt me this badly. He had to know that I could survive without him in my life. He had to realize that.
“I just read your email.” I sounded terse and brisk. The total opposite of the raging chaos that was happening inside of me.
“I’m sorry. I felt like a total dick—” he was going to try to justify his cruel actions, but I wouldn’t let him.
I gave a harsh laugh at his attempt. “Yeah, you were a total dick. You were shitty, cruel, heartless, unfeeling; a brutal son of a bitch, Harry. You let me face it, and go through it, all on my own. No support or remorse came from you. That shitty love you kept throwing in my face was an absolute lie. And to answer your question, yes, I will be moving on. I don’t care how I will achieve it, but rest assured, I will get over you, Harry. Bastards like you don’t deserve to be loved.”
“I know you’re angry, but you don’t mean that. You love me, Trista, and I love and miss you like crazy.” He sounded like he meant it, but what did I really know? It ticked me off that his words stole my breath away.
A big part of me wanted to go back and be with him, but then I flashed to the moment that despair had overcome me the other night. I couldn’t keep hurting myself. I had to move on. It was pathetic that I kept making excuses not to, but I had none left. If I didn’t do it now, I might never get a chance again. “We’re really finished, Harry. I’m dead serious about this. I will make it a mission if I have to, so please, stop reaching out to me. Goodbye.” I hung up without even caring if he wanted to talk my ear off about his reasons.
It was for the best. Nothing good could ever come out it. With shaky breath and legs, I decided that it was best to sit it out on the sand for a while and wait for my turbulent emotions to calm down, before going back up to the villa.
Huh, he’s sorry. How trite and obnoxious could he be?
“Hey, you okay?”
I spun sideways and found a serious looking Taylor standing on the foot of the steps. My fingernails dug into the insides of my palm when I clenched my hand. Heck, I forgot about him and his watchful eye. “Were you eavesdropping?”
Taylor’s footsteps headed towards me. I held my breath when I heard him sit behind me. “Come here, let me hold you.” His toned, muscular arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him. I curled up like an injured animal. My body nestled in between his legs, my head on his chest. His large hand rubbed a small place on my back, soothing me. “Let it out. You’ve held it in for far too long. I’m here just to listen and comfort you, nothing more.”
Dang it, why did he have to say the right things? I didn’t want to break down and cry my guts out, but I ended up doing it anyway. I cried like the broken woman that I was inside. Cried for the mistakes I could have avoided, for the life I could’ve had if I hadn’t become a mistress. But most of all, my heart cried out to my innocent, unborn child—the collateral damage for our forbidden tryst.
“I have to forget him. It’s time,” I murmured, as much to myself as to Taylor. I hoped that the more I spoke and thought it, I would eventually believe it.
I was not aware how long I cried my heart out, but the moment my loud cries turned into soft sobs, I took notice. All of my hair-raising senses were on high alert—conscious, enrapt and aware—of the hard perfection that held me. It left me flustered and dismayed. Why? Possibly due to the fact that I found myself liking being held in his arms, or the way he smelled—sexy with a cool, crisp hint of potent masculinity—that toyed badly with my amplified senses.
Taylor would’ve been the perfect, sexual, rebound man. If he weren’t so connected to Bass and Emma, I wouldn’t even hesitate to lose myself in him. Alas, life wanted to play more ghastly jokes on me, testing my will and limits of temptation.
Like Harry, it all started with curiosity, turned into temptation, which brought me to eternal damnation.
Yeah, I wasn’t ready for another head-to-head match with my mind and body. So, I simply broke myself out of his hold, stood up and silently walked away without saying a damn word.
The four “let’s play under the sun” girls joined Taylor down on the shore for swimming and beach volleyball. I don’t know why, but each time one of them tried to engage me in conversation, I turned into a bitter bitch. I noticed them starting to avoid me as much as I was them; I guess the feelings were mutual.
It was just Lindsey and I on the patio. We were on our backs, bathing suits and sunglasses in place, working on our tans, when my phone beeped with a text message.
Amber: I wished I was there with you guys. The only thing that keeps me from walking out of this place is the thought of seeing you all in a month. Since I am miserable in Arizona, please make sure you have twice as much fun. You get my fun card. Double the pleasure, double the fun! Tell both girls I said hi and miss them. I have so much to make up with you all. I love you, Trista Stevens. Thanks for not giving up on me.
“Is that Horrid Harry? You look sad.” Lindsey lifted her sunglasses, her eyes waiting for me to confirm her suspicions.
Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes underneath the sunglasses. I knew she didn’t really like Harry, well no one did, but I was done talking about him. I didn’t want to say or hear his name anymore. I meant it when I told him I was going to do everything in my power to banish him from my thoughts. “No. I told you, Harry wouldn’t be contacting me anymore. It’s actually Amber. She’s saying that she misses you guys and can’t wait to join us back in SB,” I replied, distracted with my quick reply to Amber’s message.
“Tell her to focus on getting better and stop flirting with the doctors and the entire male staff.” Lindsey muttered as she went back to her old position, with a slight frown on her pretty face.
Amber was known for her excessive, sexual appetite. She’s quite open about it to us and doesn’t hold back the details. Knowing how she was, I bet she had the male staff under her thumb.
Me: Hey, love. Wish you were here, too. We’re on the island of Ios with Taylor Montgomery (Bass’s BFF). I’m looking forward to seeing you. BTW, Lindsey said to focus on getting better and not flirting with the male doctors. I know it’s fun and all, but we’re serious. Get better this time. We miss you.
P.S. I’m here for you, always. Love you, Doll.
After sending the message, I laid back and worked on my tan. I looked calm, but it was only a facade. Inside, my thoughts gravitated again to Harry, Taylor and now, Amber. The first two, I could do without. The last one, I couldn’t. I gave a long silent prayer that Amber was getting the treatment that she obviously needed. I also hoped that she took it seriously.
Chapter 10
Trista
After a full hour of serene silence, the Fantastic Four along with Taylor joined us around the pool. I held my eyes shut, not caring about the intruders.
“Hey, Lindsey! We’re going back to shower and change. We’ll meet up at the same bar, let’s say around nine-thirty, ten?” One of the FF’s said.
“You bet! See you guys later,” I heard Lindsey say. After a minute, she spoke again, to Taylor. “You look pink, Tay Tay. Too much hanky-panky under the sun? How drunk did those girls get you, hmm?”
Hanky-panky? Was Taylor messing around with them? All FOUR of them? Uh, another case of ménage-a-fucktard. Men. When it comes to women, no matter the quality, quantity overrules simple, common sense.
The playboy of the day gave a riotous laugh, like it was the funniest thing he’d heard all day. “Fine, I’m wasted. No harm no foul.” He admitted, leaving out the important detail of whether he had indeed had his fair share of hanky-panky.
“I just bet. Well, good for you. Hey, you’re on a holiday. It’s the best time of the year to get your freak on.” Lindsey and Taylor both laughed at that.
What was Lindsey doing cheering him on to whore it out tonight? Didn’t she insinuate that something was going on between Taylor and I? Of course it wasn’t true, but it kind of
stung that if it happened to be true, she would suggest that to him.
“I’m getting hungry. Can we just order in tonight? I want to relax before we hit the party rock tonight.” Lindsey was gathering her things as she spoke. She grabbed her iPod, a paperback, cellphone and her see-through beach dress, all stacked up together.
“Sure,” I murmured. Taylor mirrored my answer.
“Awesome sauce! Don’t forget to wear something killer tonight, Trista Stevens. It’s on tonight, baby! We’ll find you a sinful guy to hump and bump on, clothing optional, of course!”
I love my friend. She likes to mess with my head too much, though. “Now, that’s my kind of plan.” Let operation Forget The Bastard be put into motion.
My inner cheerleader died when I heard Taylor snort at my response. “You have something to say, pretty boy? Spit it out, I want to hear it.” I raised my brow at him, my voice scathing. My hateful glare didn’t faze him. In fact, he rewarded me with one of his own.
Lindsey glanced at me, I saw her frowning in my peripheral vision. I’m sure my reaction to Taylor was already noted in that brilliant head of hers. I wasn’t going to explain anything, or back down from the glare war we were having.
Taylor simply got on my nerves. Since that night in Aspasia, we both had the whole I-think-I-might/I- think-I-won’t down to a T. Add in my emotional drama and my intense awareness of him, and it was a volcano, packed with crazy, ready to erupt. We were a disaster waiting to happen.
Like a ticking time bomb, our time was numbered until showdown. It would be a hateful mouth-off, one I was prepared for. He did tell me to start fighting, did he not? Well, here I was, fighting.
Come what may.
“O… kay. I’m going to order some food.” Lindsey started to walk away, but paused and looked back at both of us. “You know,” she said pointing her hot pink-tipped finger at us, waving it back and forth, “whatever’s going on… freaking get to it! You guys need to fuck each other, already. The tension is just too damn much.” Lindsey shook her head prettily and went back inside the villa.
If my eyes had the power to sear people, Taylor would’ve been charred to perfection by now. The only tension I had at the moment was keeping myself from strangling this stupid man. I would also love to successfully swipe off that stupid smirk that just became pasted on his face while I was at it. “What?” I snapped at the infuriating man. His sudden amusement grated me to death. It was like listening to nails scratching on a chalkboard.
“Want to pay heed to her insightful advice?” Taylor delivered with such infuriating confidence.
Fucker! Hell no!
My blood boiled like hot magma. I simply glared at him before cutting his sexual prowess to a halt. “Over my dead body, Taylor. Keep dreaming, though, pretty boy. I just hope your imagination can handle the heat.”
Something flickered in his eyes, something dark and unattainable. I was unprepared when he strode towards where I stood, all cocky and confident. The moss-green depths of his eyes pinned me down. The amount of heat that channeled from those beautiful orbs burned me up, all the way to my toes causing my body to react acutely. I could feel it as my nipples tightened, my muscles clenched intimately, and a flush spread across my body at the potent intensity of it. Those eyes alone pierced me, drawing me in. The feelings had begun to overwhelm me, suspending my brain from thinking. All I could see was him, bewitching me with his spell. It was a whimsical fervor that bounded and disarmed me.
“I can definitely take the heat. I don’t dream about heat, Trista. I make heat. And once you get a taste of that, you will be the one begging me to take you.” The deep timbre of his voice vibrated all over my heightened body. I wanted to scold my treacherous body for reacting to him, but it was futile. It was uncomfortable, and yet, pleasurable.
If just his eyes could have this effect, I wondered what his touch would do to me. It would most likely light me up like a goddamned Christmas tree. I’ve never had this kind of sexual chemistry before, not even with Harry. That honest admission aroused something else inside of me, but I dispelled it as soon as I could.
Taylor was Bass’s friend. I didn’t want to hook-up with someone who I would eventually see back home. No, my life was complicated as it was, I didn’t need to tangle myself in another hot mess.
With my arms folded on my chest, I held his heated gaze with purpose. “I guess it’s a good thing that I’m not in to you, pretty boy. This technique might work on others, but it doesn’t do shit for me. Maybe it’s high time you go and treat your pretty dick to some pussy showdown. I’m sure you could take your pick from one of those over-eager New Yorkers.”
Taylor’s eyes searched mine before he trailed them to my lips, those eyes burning with evident need and something else, almost like he was fighting it, too. This weird pull was unnerving. Cautiously, he looked away and gazed at the sea. “Yeah, you’re right,” He murmured as his fingers ran over his hair. With a resolute sigh, he went back inside without giving me another glance.
I stared after him, knowing I did the best thing. Taylor might be irresistible, but I couldn’t risk it. With my luck, I would end up being hurt again. Going through this emotional death and physical pain of losing the only man I had ever loved was the greatest challenge I have yet to conquer. Involving another man that I would be seeing for the next four weeks was not the brightest of ideas. That would be like asking life to shit on you some more. Yeah, not going there—not if I could help it. If I wanted to get laid, it better be with some guy that I would never see again; never get an emotional attachment to. Ever.
That night, we went out to party again. I wasn’t a wee bit surprised when those girls joined us since they had already mentioned they would see us at the club. Their names floated around, but I never was interested enough to catch any of them. Lindsey seemed to get on with them, as did Taylor. He was different tonight; he seemed more guarded, unreadable. He wasn’t a jerk or anything, he still talked to me, but the warmth and playful tone were gone. I was hardly surprised. Men like Taylor aren’t used to the word “get lost”. I tried to ignore the odd feeling of his new treatment of me, so I paid extra attention to my drinks and danced with random people. I didn’t even try to engage myself in any lip-lock wars with other men this time because I didn’t want to see Taylor pull another stunt like he had the night before.
The other difference this time was that Taylor was openly flirting back with all of the FFs. The blonde twins, whom I was internally referring to as Buxom Blonde One and Two—or BB One and BB Two for short—were certainly making their interest blatantly known, rubbing their tits on the side of his arm. It didn’t help that they were voluptuously gorgeous. The urge to barf was strong, but I forced myself, though a difficult task to achieve, to look away and pretend I was enjoying the night.
I really did try. I danced with countless men, but I didn’t let it get past that. I didn’t need another close encounter with Taylor. No, not tonight. Not when my emotions were at an all-time high. I simply didn’t trust myself around him.
Chapter 11
Taylor
Trista was behaving oddly tonight. The woman did flirt with men, but nothing big happened. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to moderate her antics or if she was merely trying to stay away from me.
I tried to enjoy the night with the New Yorker Twins, Allie and Ellie, but my eyes always ended up checking out what Trista was up to. Before I had gotten a great view of her nakedness last night, my watchful protectiveness would’ve been a normal thing, but, after that nice flash of temptation, I knew it wasn’t all for good intentions any longer.
I wanted that feisty cat of a woman. I wanted to see if she could be tamed and if she really drew those claws when I took her over and over again. I wanted her to fight me and, yet, I wanted her to give in to me. She was a raging hellcat to the highest order —beautiful, fiery, passionate and very much uncontainable—but I was drawn to that beautiful, feistiness. Her vulnerability couldn’t be seen when she was
around people, but I knew better. I had witnessed her breakdown. Maybe that’s why I was so intrigued by Trista. Whatever it was, I wanted to get to know her. Hell, my body wanted to get to know her. She spat fire and oozed sadness. It was a heady mix.
Her conversation with Harry earlier had shaken the woman. For a short time, she had let me hold her as she cried her pain away. Holding her when she was clearly heart broken, changed me. I vowed then, that no matter what I did in the future, I wouldn’t let a woman be this miserable because of me. I didn’t have a sister, but if I did, I would kill the man who would hurt her this way. Harry was truly a sad, son of a bitch.
Though Trista tried to deny our attraction, I didn’t do much to renounce it. It crackled when we were in the same room and I badly wanted to explore that connection with her. Yet, she rejected me at every turn. It was a frustration that I had never been presented with before.
We were back from the club and here I was in the living room drinking as the twins rubbed themselves on either side of me. Twins had been a dream of mine back in the day, but staring at the girls didn’t even get me excited. Sure, I was hard, but for the woman who was in the bedroom, the one who slept without a scrap of underwear on.
I bid the twins goodbye when the sun was coming up. We were leaving back to Aspasia in the next few hours and I wasn’t even tempted to relieve myself with either of them. I’d rather savor the sweet torment the hellcat bestowed upon me. Very soon, I would have her underneath me, writhing for me, begging for me.
Yeah, the woman certainly got to me in the most primal way possible.
Chapter 12
Trista
Lindsey and I decided to go for a leisurely stroll back to the cottage, instead of taking a ride from the pier. We wanted to explore more of the island, but at the same time just catch up, too. It had been months since we really had time to just have fun and not talk about problems. I could handle this side of Lindsey.
