The COMPLEAT Collected Short SFF Stories

by Sterling E. Lanier

  When the humming finally stopped and the bus rolled down the outer ramp into the sunset again, I grabbed the arm of my seat as well as Ellen-Sue's hand. But I could have relaxed. Old Nose-horn was a thing of the past.

  All the close-at-hand trees and brush had been cut down, and a tarred road ran up to a big pink building with a red tile roof. There were lights all over and ferns covered the ground where the scrub had been. Some clumps of tall trees were left in places for shade, I guess, and bunches of the fat-trunked palms grew here and there. Down on the beach, actually in the water, was a whopper of a steel fence twenty feet high and anchored on big concrete pilings. I could see both triple-strand barb wire and electric insulators set on top of the fence, which stretched along the coast out of sight in both directions.

  The bus did not head for the big building, but took a fork along the beach and followed a road along for about a mile or so. I watched the water, but saw no long-necked whatsits of any kind coming up to grab at us. What I did see were tall towers set at regular intervals and in them searchlights and the noses of those bazooka-type guns. Leo and Goldy were looking around too, and Leo pointed to the nearest tower.

  "Anything gets near the fence, which is electrified, I guess, one of those recoilless rifles blasts it. After a while, even a dumb dinosaur could learn to stay away, eh, Goldy?"

  "I guess," said Goldy. But I was watching him now as I never used to before, and I thought I saw a spark in the dull glims as he swiveled his head back and forth.

  By now, we had reached a place where the fence came out of the sea and ran to our left over the ground. We swung left on the road to stay parallel with it and I noticed the towers were set now twice as thick. Beyond the fence was an area of low swamp and really a terrible stink came in the open windows.

  "In case you are wondering, folks," yells Sally from up front, "this smell is dead meat! We are on a peninsula, or point, for those which cut school like Doaksey and me, of land sticking out into the ocean. With this fence, plus the artillery, we keep the bad guys from coming through from the mainland. Quite a layout, huh?"

  The bus stopped and we all got out and looked at the swamp, trying not to breathe in the awful smell. As far as we could see was a flat country with bunches of tall reeds, twenty feet high and winding black water in between the clumps. In the sunset it looked dead and gloomy. Ellen-Sue shivered and held my arm.

  Over our heads, from the tower, came a long loud "whoosh", followed by an explosion, far out in the swamp.

  Out of the reeds came a greenish neck like a giant, mobile crane, with a little flat head on the end. From the open mouth a hooting scream came like the grandfather of all steam engine whistles. A tremendous thrashing flattened acres of reeds and black mud flew way up in the air. I caught a glimpse of a slimy body the size of a Goodyear blimp, and then there were more "whooshes", from our tower and the nearest ones on the left and right, with lots more explosions and that mind-bending hooting noise, which never stopped.

  Even Sally had enough and he waved us all back into the bus, his fat face even paler than usual. We drove off in a hurry, but the continued explosions and the dinosaur's death yells followed after us a long ways. How long would it take to die, I thought?

  We crossed the fenced-off peninsula and went back up a beach road on the other side, a mirror copy of the first, complete with the same fence and guard towers. Eventually we got back to a road slanting up to the big pink building, all of us pretty shaky in the knees. The reality of this place was hard to take, even when you had been there before. I wondered just how many millions this all must have cost and how many more had been paid in by the prospective customers.

  By now the sun was down on the horizon and more lights were coming on, as we pulled up a long driveway and stopped in front of the pink place. It was bigger than I had thought, like a super gambling casino I once saw in Cuba, back before Castro. It looked new and raw, but the furniture was something else, and inside there were glass chandeliers that must have weighed a ton apiece. There were uniformed servants all over, some of them women, and a guy came up and passed me and Ellen-Sue some champagne from a loaded tray. Lots more guests were arriving now, and I stood back to one side and took a look at them. Both sexes were well represented, though the women were all younger and a lot better looking, in nonwifely ways, which figured.

  I saw a lot of types like Sally, but the Unione Sicilione was hardly alone. There were several blond guys, like Krauts or Swedes, and a lot of fancy uniforms and dark faces, some of which looked vaguely familiar. An old bald guy with a girl on each arm tottered past, and Leo sucked in his breath behind me.

  "So he really didn't die in Berlin, or Paraguay either!" I looked at the old guy again, but he meant nothing to me.

  A waiter passed us all slips of paper, with a message on it written in ten different languages. The American on mine said: "Please do not discuss your own or anyone else's past. Please do not ask questions either of, or about the other guests. The reasons for this are obvious. Thank you. The Management."

  Conversation died while everyone read their piece of paper, but picked up quickly again, and the papers got dropped in ashtrays. More drinks were served and I saw a huge bar at one side where you could get anything not being passed already.

  Ellen-Sue and I walked around and eyeballed the place. It was hard to believe. There were even polar bear rugs on the floor, and the door knobs and lamp switches looked like real gold. The tables were either mahogany or a good imitation, and a big marble fountain was even fizzing up in the middle of the main room.

  Off on the sides, you could see lots more rooms, including a huge dining one with a buffet-smorgasbord set-up a mile long. I noticed at least two pool tables in their own rooms, as I wandered up and down the various halls, and big marble stairs led up to the second floor at several points. The place looked like Buzby Berkeley musical set crossed with something out of the Arabian Nights. If all the lice out in the main hall were paying out billions, it looked like Sally was going to at least try and give them their money's worth.

  Eventually, Ellen-Sue and I got bored with all the fancy furniture and stuff and went back to the festivities. Everybody was in groups now, all Cosa Nostra here, all loud gold-braid uniforms there, and so on. None of the various outfits seemed inclined to get together, though Sally and a couple of other hoods were trying to circulate. The talk and squeals of the call girls would start up and then stop. So there were funny bits of quiet when all you could hear was the help shoving glasses around or shuffling silverware. As a fun party it was a wet smack to me.

  I was about to tow Ellen-Sue into the food room when I heard Leo whisper behind me.

  "This place will have to slow down in the very early morning. There are a million bedrooms upstairs. You two pick one and then sneak down here to the front door at five a.m. sharp. This will probably be the only chance we'll ever get to get back into that damned machine when the guards will be slack. It's not much of a chance but it's the only one I can think of." Then he was gone, faded back into the crowd. I felt the old chopper cold against my ribs under the jacket and shivered. Ellen-Sue squeezed my hand and we went in together and ate. I'd just lost my appetite, but I figured we'd need the energy.

  The food was like everything else there, caviar plus the trimmings. It all tasted like mud, the way I felt, but I managed to choke something down off a gold plate handed me by a uniformed flunky. It might have been hummingbird tongues or, equally, old whale guts, because I was beyond caring or noticing. I signaled Ellen-Sue and we carried our plates out and upstairs.

  Like our FBI informant had said, there were miles of bedroom doors opening off long corridors. We grabbed the nearest, ducked in and then ducked out again even quicker, followed by a lot of curses and yells. One creep and his companion had not waited for dessert downstairs.

  We ran around a corner and eventually found an empty suite, because it even had a sitting room plus bath along with the bedroom. It was so impressive I looked
around for the TV, before realizing the local stations were unlikely to be working. The door had a bolt, I was glad to see, and I locked it, wondering why the clown we had interrupted hadn't. In a hurry, I guess.

  We chatted a little, but neither of us felt much like yakking, and we finally just lay down and rested, eyes open and counting the clicks on my wrist watch. We could hear the party getting louder down below through the open windows, and eventually I got up and shut them, which turned it down to a dull hum. All I could think of was how many Godawful horrors had been dumped back in our time to pay for Sally's little house-warming binge.

  Eventually, things quieted down, and by four o'clock I could open a window and hear nothing but a gentle breeze blowing in from the sea. Searchlights played along the water here and there, doing the monster-watch bit, but there was no gunfire. I wondered if that big dinosaur was still alive back by the fence. Somewhere I remembered reading those things were so stupid they didn't even know when they had been killed.

  We watched the first pale light come over the land and glitter on the quiet sea, and I put my arm around Ellen-Sue's waist, while she snuggled up. I think both of us figured this was going to be the last day for us, but we didn't say anything.

  So probably we were the first to see what was coming.

  Away out on the horizon, miles away, I noticed a wavy line building up on the water, like the line a squall makes when it comes. But there was no sound of any wind and the sky was perfectly clear, a few late stars dimming out in the west as the sun came up behind us. I pointed to the dark line and Ellen-Sue stared at it too. While we watched, it seemed to get bumpier and flecks of white foam began to appear. All I could suddenly think of was a description of a tidal wave, something I had never personally seen and didn't want to. My watch said it wasn't quite five, but I had a sudden urge to get the hell out of this crazy place.

  We ran for the door, whipped it open and tore down the stairs. There was good old Leo standing by the front entrance, and as we appeared, he opened it a crack, peeped out and then waved his hand for us to get moving.

  We all scurried outside into the growing light and ran through bushes and into a garden with clipped paths leading everywhere. A drunk's shoes and pants stuck out of one bush, and I've often wondered since if it was Motley. I hope so.

  At this point we all froze. A whole bunch of sirens went off, over to our left, where the beach and ocean were hidden by trees, and I figured we'd been spotted and that it was all over. But no one came our way, though people began to yell back at the house and further off, and then I figured out what had happened.

  "They spotted a tidal wave coming," I gasped to Leo. "We saw it from upstairs, way out on the water. Let's get out of here!"

  We made even better time after that, and the garden was over in no time. Next, as we broke out into the open, on the road leading to the time machine, all Hell really broke loose. An artillery barrage started, like Stalingrad or D-Day, and mixed in with it came howling and crashing noises like all the world's zoos being broken up and bulldozed with the animals still inside. The "tidal wave" had arrived.

  As far out as you could see, the ocean was boiling with giant bodies, as God knows how many swimming monsters raced for the shore, their flappers churning up huge waves that rushed in front of them. They were all the same kind, with bodies something like the plesiosaur thing I had seen the shark get, but different, too. They ranged from what must have been a hundred feet long, down to maybe thirty or forty, and had short heavy necks with heads like giant crocodiles, full of teeth like Bowie knives. And they were only a hundred yards offshore and coming fast.

  All the guard towers in sight were blasting at them full tilt, but you might as well have tried to douse an oil rig fire with spit. For every one that got hit, and it only seemed to make them mad, a dozen more churned past, bellowing and screaming. There had to be thousands of them and they all had one idea, which was to hit the beach.

  "Come on!" yelled Leo in my ear. "That electric fence won't hold for five seconds. This whole place is going under!"

  That juiced us into moving and we took off for the time gate like Jesse Owens. I kept looking at the beach as we panted down the road, and, boy, was Leo right! I saw the first wave hit that fence and sparks flew all along the line of ten-foot heads. Then—the fence was just gone and the whole bunch of freight-train bodies were wallowing and hauling themselves up onto the sand, with waves washing up ahead of them and clouds of sand and spray being pushed up by the flippers. If I'd needed more adrenalin, that view gave it to me!

  We each took one of Ellen-Sue's elbows and raced up to the big port. There were no guards, and I guess they had taken off when they saw what was coming. As I climbed in last, I turned and took one more look back. It was unbelievable. The towers were all down, and a steady wave of screaming tons of reptile meat was pouring out of the ocean and flopping and crawling up to the hotel, smashing everything in their way. They moved like circus seals, which is a lot faster than you might think, and just as the port shut, I saw the first ones rear up against one wing of Sally's hideaway and smash into it and through it like it was paper. That was the last I saw of monsterland and I sat down with a thud on the steel floor, pulling Ellen-Sue with me. When I looked up, I saw we had company.

  Leo was standing in a half crouch, his right hand frozen as he reached for his coat. Facing him was Goldy, and his automatic was out and pointing.

  "Please don't, Leo," said Goldy. "You'd never make it, you know." His voice was now educated and the dull eyes were lit up. He was even smiling.

  "I have nothing against you, Colonel," he went on. "If you give your word, I'll put the gun away. How's that for trust?"

  "What's with the 'colonel' bit?" I asked. "Leo's an FBI man, chum, so be careful."

  Goldy laughed. "That wasn't quite truthful, Leo. I'm glad I listened to the room tapes when you were out." He turned to us and waggled a finger. "Let me introduce Lt. Col. Leonid Krassin of the KGB, or Soviet Security Service. As it happens, my name is Arthur Goldthwaite, and, oddly enough, I am the United States representative, though not, regrettably, from the bureau. Well, Leo what about a deal?"

  "OK," said Leo, straightening up. "The USSR wants this thing smashed as badly as anyone. How did you get on to me? I thought I was pretty good."

  "Oh, you're good, pal," said Goldy stowing his gun under his arm. "Thing is, I've been following you, not Sally Tomatoes. We wanted to know why the KGB put a top operator in with a bunch of hoods. All this time-travel stuff was a big surprise to me. And then I was stuck on that damn island, with no way to tell anyone." They both ignored me and Ellen-Sue and went on talking shop while we gawped at each other and listened.

  Leo laughed. "Now I know why there were no guards on this apparatus. Are they dead?"

  "They are now," was the answer. "Kronosaurus" will see to that. But you still haven't told me what you're doing here."

  "Very simple. We discovered that many Fascists, old Nazis, new ones, all the assorted scum of the political earth, were beginning to give lots of money to gangsters, both in America and elsewhere. Looking for protection, I imagine, since all governments are now hunting them down. I was sent to follow them, by becoming a gangster myself. Like you, I had no way of knowing this drunken pig van D'Alliance was going to invent a working time machine. I had thought at one time of trying to get the plans. But now I think not. It is better destroyed. You agree?"

  "I sure as hell do. But the time's almost up. We may have trouble getting out of here. And what made you bring these two?" He waved a hand at us.

  Leo shrugged. "Sentimentality, I think. They are not criminals, really, and both were sickened by the murders and bloodshed these people have loosed on our century. Do I gather, my friend, you know what those last animals were, which invaded the beaches?"

  "I think so," said Goldy. "I borrowed some of Jones' books when he was asleep or knocked out with dope. That was Kronosaurus or something close, a giant plesiosaur, an extinct marine r
eptile. While I was watching them appear, it occurred to me the place might be an annual nesting ground, like with sea turtles. That would account for them swarming in all at once." He looked at his watch. "Anyway, it put paid to time travel for crooks, at least temporarily. And if Jones and van D'Alliance are still there ..." He glanced at Ellen-Sue and looked a little embarrassed. I thought of Bushveldt with no regrets at all.

  "Don't you mind about me," she said. "Motley threw me back there, remember? But, say, isn't the machine noise dying down?"

  Both men drew their guns and I pulled Ellen-Sue over to one side. The big chamber was empty, but we could at least get out of any direct lines of fire. The humming stopped and we could hear the bolts sliding open on the other side of the port. Slowly, the thing opened.

  What happened was so quick it was all over in seconds. I don't know why Sally had gone back from his bash or what made him suspicious of his two pet hoods, but he was waiting. Maybe he just wasn't taking chances, but Leo had said how good he was at security. I just don't know and now I never will.

  There was the rattle of a machine gun, and both Leo and Goldy were blasted back into the chamber, shot full of holes. They never even had time to pull a trigger.

  I waited without breathing, Ellen-Sue behind me. I heard a step, then another. Sally's head poked past the line of the hatch, looking down at the two dead men. It stayed there. He never even saw me.

  I brought the old cane knife down on his plump neck so hard it cut through bone and went on, leaving blood all over me and the corpses, Ellen-Sue and the metal floor. And, you know, I felt great, looking at that head bounce away.

  I looked out and there was no one else there in the big room at all. The guards must have been sent away so Sally could be alone. The empty ramp led up to the sunlight, and that was it.