Uncle Gary's Campfire Stories: Bayou Zombie Werewolves

by Visada, J. L. M.

  Paul and Avery reached their hands out and helped Sarah across. “Where are the rest of your men?” Sarah asked.

  “They fought hard, but there were just too many.” Paul’s voice was sad. “We are going to head to the airport and fly out of here before this place is overrun. There’s just too many to fight. I couldn’t count all the walking rotten I saw on the way here. They’ll swarm New Orleans like ants…if they already aren’t doing that now. You two are welcome to come with us.”

  “My husband and his friend are in the city.” Sarah said.

  “They can come too, but they’ll have to hurry. We can’t wait long. Call them and tell them to get to the airport. We’ll take you two there.” Paul said with a reassuring smile.

  Sarah turned on her cell phone. When Colton answered she said, “Honey…get to the airport.”

  Sarah jerked as Colton’s voice screamed over the phone, “WEREWOLVES!”

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  “What are you talking about?” Sarah asked over the phone.

  Colton looked around the club. Lula Mae had Stephanie King by the ankle. The nine year old had just finished changing. She used her claws like a cheese grater and slowly shredded her victim. The midget stripper was screaming for help right up until Lula Mae snapped her jaws shut over the woman’s head.

  “You know how this all started with Coonass saying he saw a werewolf? Well…we finally found one.”

  “Honey…get out of there.” Sarah pleaded.

  The lifeless body of Stephanie King twirled through the air and slammed into the dart board. She hit with such force that she broke through the wall. Two tiny legs were the only thing still visible from the room. Lula Mae scanned the room until she locked eyes on Damien and the two midget strippers standing next to him.

  Danior’s eyes snapped open. He could feel Lula Mae’s rage. He stood up and pushed his will out to all his other werewolves in the city. If anyone got out of the club then he’d lose the element of surprise. He gave his people one command…kill.

  Johanna and most of her students started running. Police, and firemen that had been converted left the calls they were already working and headed for Shorty’s. Jimbo stopped making passionate love to a pitbull, zipped up his pants, and started running through backyards to get to the strip club. Almost five hundred zombie werewolves were converging with one goal. Destroy the club before anyone could get out and tell the world.

  Danior walked out the front door of the home he’d turned into his base of operations and snapped his fingers. One of the converted men pulled a car around and started driving him to the strip club. First he had to get the scene under control, and then he’d kill the little bitch that let her jealousy put all his plans at risk.

  Lula Mae felt the order come down from Danior, and she was more than happy to slaughter everyone in the club. She already knew who the next two victims were going to be. She leapt onto Sukya Stankhose. The blonde screamed and held up a silver cross. Lula Mae grabbed the cross, and it burned through the werewolf’s hand.

  “I guess silver does work.” Bobby said.

  “Great…so all we need is some silver.” Colton’s voice trembled with fear. Both men were hiding behind a table.

  “Colton! Baby! Are you still there?” Sarah’s voice screeched over the phone. She was terrified.

  “Yeah…I’m gonna have to let you go. We gotta get out of here.” Colton started to hangup.

  “Wait! We’ve got a ride out of the city. Come to the airport. Hurry because they won’t be able to wait on you for long once we get there. I’ll get them to send you the information. Be careful Baby!” Sarah disconnected.

  “We have to go!” Colton yanked Bobby’s arm.

  Lula Mae’s hand shot out and imbedded into Jasmine Vayle’s chest. The girl jerked her claw back and Jasmine’s still beating heart was ripped out of her chest. The tiny black woman tried to scoop the blood pouring out of her chest back into the hole in a desperate but futile attempt at survival.

  Bobby and Colton scrambled for the door.

  “Where do you think you are going.” Damien said as he rolled to intercept them.

  Colton tried to run past, but Damien turned his tazer towards the redhead.

  *Zap*

  “Fucker!” Bobby screamed as he watched his friend fall to the ground twitching.

  “You can not leave. Master has forbidden it.” Damien said.

  Bobby dodged the tazing prong. He danced back and forth stepping around and hopping over the prong. “Well your master can kiss my ass!” Bobby said as he threw three mediocre jabs into Damien’s face. “Colton would you get up. Shit! I can’t keep this up forever. That longer we hang around the more likely it’ll be that the furry little psycho over there comes after us.”

  Colton rolled over and stood up. “Jesus…that hurt.” He saw his friend jumping over the tazing prong. The young man operating the wheelchair was moving back and forth as he tried to match Bobby move for move. Colton looked around and saw the janitors mop. He snatched it up and stuck the mop handle through the wheels. “That should hold you.”

  Damien’s wheelchair was stuck, “You son of a witch!”

  “Son of a witch? You know what…it’s not even worth it. Colton! Let’s go!” Bobby yelled.

  Colton started running. They were just about to reach the door when Lula Mae leapt passed them and blocked their way. She snarled and howled. One of the bartenders tried to sneak past her, and the young undead werewolf backhanded the man. His head was there one minute, and then gone the next. The body fell limply to the ground.

  “Move your ginger ass Colt! To the bar!” Bobby screamed.

  The two men ran behind the bar. Bobby started searching the alcohol. Lula Mae killed three more of the midgets, and slashed Rachel Morgasm’s face. Rachel fell to the ground screaming.

  “Bobby? What are you doing?” Colton asked.

  “Getting us a way out.” Bobby said as he pulled two bottles of Everclear out from under the bar. “Take off your shirt.”

  “Why?” Colton asked.

  “Just do it.” Bobby demanded as he yanked off his own shirt and started stuffing part of it down into the bottle.

  Colton watched the man hold the remaining cloth over a candle until it caught fire. “Hey Benji!” Bobby screamed at Lula Mae. The young werewolf snarled and started walking over towards the two men. “Fetch!” Bobby threw the bottle of Everclear through the air. It hit Lula Mae right between the eyes. The glass shattered, and the Everclear ignited. Lula Mae roared as the flames burned her flesh. “Guess she’s a hotdog now.”

  Colton stuffed his shirt into the Everclear bottle, “What are we going to do with this one?”

  “Insurance.” Bobby yelled as he swiped some matches from the bar.

  The two men ran out the front door and heard sirens. “Do we wait?” Bobby asked.

  “Hell no! My wife said get to the airport, so we’re getting to the airport.”

  Both men started running towards Bourbon Street. “We can try to hide in the crowd if that thing comes after us.”

  Danior felt Lula Mae’s fear as the fire was swallowing her up. He realized immediately that several of the people in the strip club were escaping. There was no way to contain it. The only way they’d still have the element of surprise is if they attacked now. Danior pushed his will into all the werewolves to infect or kill everyone they came across. Instead of carefully making their way through the city, they began attacking everyone they saw as they closed in on the club.

  Johanna and her students quit running to Shorty’s. They received their new command and immediately began changing. Johanna leapt onto a family of four and began savaging them. Her students moved into the bars and started tearing people apart. Some of them even started climbing up into the balconies overlooking the street to go after the people celebrating Mardis Gras.

  The mothers set their baby werewolves down on the ground and let them run wild. They were like tiny blurs cutting people o
ff at the knees. The policemen and firemen that had already been infected turned their attention to infecting their coworkers. Officers changed, and then yanked other fellow officers out of their cars. Firemen began going into other firehouses and attacked everyone inside. Jimbo snatched a three month old out of his stroller and swallowed him whole. Then he ate the child’s screaming mother. The zombie werewolves were just ripping and tearing into everyone in sight.

  “Bobby, I’m sorry I ever doubted you about these werewolves, but for the record. I hate it when you’re right.” Colton panted as he ran past Fritzels European Jazz Pub. He was already tired and they’d barely made it around the corner.

  “Yeah, I’m wishing I was wrong too.” Colton yelled back. He kept trying to run, but then had to wait so that he didn’t leave his friend behind. “Now can you run a little.”

  “I am running.”

  Colton tried to think of a way to get his friend to run faster. Then it came to him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out one of Sarah’s low fat low sugar knockoff twinkies and dangled it in front of Colton’s face, “You catch me and you can have it.”

  “Dammit Bobby…this isn’t a time for jokes.” Colton growled, but even he couldn’t deny that he’d started running a little faster. They ran under the neon Tropical Isle sign and crossed Orleans Street just as Jimbo landed on two nineteen year old girls flashing their tits for beads.

  “Wrong way!” Bobby screamed. He turned back around and started running with Colton right behind him. The two men heard the screams as the people behind them were being mauled by more and more of the zombie werewolves. They ran down Bourbon Street past drunken tourists, and women using their breasts to get as many beads as possible.

  “Bobby stop slowing down. No tits are worth dying over.” Colton shoved his friend forward. “And give me that Twinkie.”

  “You get it when we get out of here.” Bobby yelled.

  They turned left on Dumaine Street. By then the massive crowd on Bourbon Street was panicked and running in all directions to get away from the giant furry attackers. Throngs of people were running down the road, ducking into bars and shops, and doing everything they could think of to get away. Bobby and Colton ran a half a block before they stopped cold in their tracks. Shambling down the road towards them were hundreds of zombies.

  “Oh this just keeps getting better.” Bobby groaned sarcastically before turning around and running back the other way on Dumaine Street.

  “Shit-shit-shit-shit!” Colton screamed as they crossed back over Bourbon Street. The two men weaved in and out through the terrified tourists. Then they saw her.

  Lula Mae was still smoking a little, and not everything had healed on the werewolf, but she was coming fast and angry. She roared, and right behind her was the young man in the wheelchair tazing the crap out of everyone he could. “Ah…rue. Ah…rue mother father.” Damien said.

  Bobby and Colton ran as fast as they could down Dumaine Street. “Look, a voodoo museum. Maybe it’ll have something to fight them off with.” Bobby yelled. They ran to the shuttered doors. “Shit…it’s closed.”

  “What? Shouldn’t a voodoo museum be open after dark?” Colton asked.

  “I don’t set the hours!” Bobby screamed.

  “Don’t yell at me!” Colton snapped back.

  Lula Mae skittered down the street towards them. Her claws making loud scraping sounds on the pavement as she got closer. Bobby looked up and saw her. He took a match and lit the cloth in the Everclear bottle. He raised the bottle and flung it at her. It spun through the air right for her, and at the last moment she sidestepped it. It exploded, but missed her completely. The young werewolf gave a big toothy grin knowing that she had them now. The two men that had hurt her so badly were going to pay.

  Bobby and Colton wrapped their arms around each other. “Well this is it.” Bobby said. “I just wanted you to know…you’ve always been my best friend, and I was always joking when I said you didn’t have a soul. You’ve got a big one. You’re the best friend a nine-fingered jackass like me could ever have.”

  Colton held onto his friend, “I once peed in your coffee.”

  “You son of a bitch!”

  Lula Mae moved closer. She readied herself to pounce on the two men.

  “I’m really sorry about it.” Colton sobbed. “You just picked at me so much all these years. I had a moment of weakness.”

  Bobby sighed, “Apology accepted, and Colton.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m the one that told all those kids at the mall that you were one of Santa’s elves.”

  Colton laughed, “You asshole. Those little bastards where pissed when I tried to tell them the truth. Some of them even bit me. I forgive you too.”

  Lula Mae started to lunge, and just then a box truck slammed into her. It didn’t even slow down. She slid down the front of the truck, and then went under it. Wheels snapped bones as she was twisted and torqued by the undercarriage. The werewolf bounced and rolled down the street.

  “Well let’s not wait here for her to get up. Run you nine-fingered jackass!” Colton bellowed.

  “After you, you fat, soulless, midget, ginger…move your little Oompa Loompa ass.”

  The two men reached Royal Street and turned right. Colton was completely exhausted. “I can’t run much more.”

  “You better…because I sure as shit ain’t leaving you.” Bobby snapped. “Besides…Twinkie.”

  “Twinkies aren’t going to get me through this. Fuck Bobby…I’m serious. I can’t run anymore.”

  Bobby looked around desperately. Then he saw it. A pedicab was just a little ways down the road. The rider was taking a break, completely oblivious to the carnage just one block over. Bobby grabbed Colton and dragged him to the pedicab. He pushed Colton in it.

  “Hey buddy! I’m off the clock.” The pedicab driver snapped.

  “That’s okay. I don’t need you. I just need the cab.” Bobby said before punching the man in the face. Unfortunately Bobby’s punch was less than effective. The man leaned back and blasted Bobby with a right cross that knocked him flat on his ass.

  Colton hopped out of the cab. “Sorry about this bud…but we need your cab. I’m too tired to run, and he’s too stupid to ask nicely. It’s time for some redneck-fu.”

  The pedicab driver took a swing, and Colton ducked it. He then took another swing, and Colton blocked it. “I’m really sorry about this.” Colton said before punching the man in the side of the knee. The man’s leg went wobbly and he fell to the ground. The man tried to stand back up, but Colton ran and shoulder tackled the man to the ground. Then he stood up and jumped as high as his ten inch vertical leap would take him before crashing down on the man, and knocking the wind out of him.

  Bobby was already on the bike, “Come on Colton! We can’t wait. That furry bitch is gonna get us if we hang around here.”

  “We can’t leave him here. They’ll eat him.”

  “Fine…dammit.” Bobby got off the bike and lifted the man up into the back of the pedicab. “Now can we get the fuck out of here?”

  “Sure.” Colton said as he climbed into the pedicab with the man. “What’s your name fella?”

  “Juan.” The man gasped.

  “Well Juan. Hold on because my friend there is going to give us a hell of a ride.”

  Bobby started peddling as hard as he could. The cab took off slowly, but gained speed. It wasn’t long before they were moving through the crowds as fast as Bobby could navigate. “Move you sons of bitches! Oompa Loompa coming through!” Bobby screamed.

  A few times he ran over some feet, but mostly he got to where he could steer pretty effectively without hitting anyone or anything. People were instinctively getting out of his way. Bobby pedaled down to Toulouse Street. The screams of the people on Bourbon Street got louder and more panicked with each passing second. They turned left on Toulouse to try and get away. They reached Chartres Street, and Bobby stopped. There were more zombies shambling up towards
them on Toulouse. “Can’t we catch a fucking break?” He turned left on Chartres and started pedaling again.

  “Where the hell are you going?” Colton yelled.

  “I don’t know!” Bobby snapped back over his shoulder. “I’m just trying to stay away from anything that wants to eat us.”

  “Well you know you are heading back towards the werewolves right?” Bobby said.

  “What? No…SHIT!” Bobby groaned before coming to a stop in front of St. Louis Cathedral. Zombies were closing in on all sides, and the three men could hear the howls of hungry zombie werewolves in all directions.

  Bobby jumped off and ran inside the church with Colton right behind him. Juan panicked and ran back the way he came. Unfortunately by that time the zombies had closed off the street. He was trapped. He turned and tried to run, but Lula Mae leapt from a rooftop onto the man. She crushed his spine, and then ripped off his head. She gave him a sniff, and then looked at the church and growled.

  Bobby and Colton walked inside. “Oh my God…this place is amazing.” Bobby gasped. Columns stretched down both sides of the pews, chandeliers hung down lighting the inside of the church. Everything was beautifully adorned. It was a feast for the eyes.

  “The whole place looks empty.” Colton said nervously.

  “This can’t possibly be good.”

  Then they heard faint groaning. Bobby and Colton walked towards the front of the church, and then they saw it. Several of the zombies had already made it inside, and were eating the priest. The priest raised a hand towards them, “Help me.”

  “Sorry padre…it’s already too late.” Bobby said as he and Colton tried to back out of the church the way they came. They were almost to the doors when Lula Mae burst in snarling. She locked eyes on the two men. Bobby and Colton ran towards the alter, and grabbed two of the silver candlesticks to use as clubs.

  “Down! Heel!” Bobby yelled as he swung the candlestick at Lula Mae’s head. The silver struck her shoulder and cut like a hot knife through butter. Lula Mae howled in pain and jerked back. The two men positioned themselves with their back against the alter in an effort to keep the young zombie werewolf in front of them.