by Lesley Crewe
Frankie gave her a horrified look. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re my maid of honour.”
Colleen wanted to hug her but Frankie was saying something else.
“What I should do about Dad? Do I let him walk me down the aisle? Do you think that would make Mom mad? I don’t want to bring it up with her because I’m afraid of what she might say.”
“Do you want him to walk you down the aisle?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s simple. It’s your day and you can do what you want. Mom got to do what she wanted on her wedding day. I’m sure I’ll never have a wedding day.”
“You will, don’t worry. Thanks for the advice.” She got up to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“My power walk.”
“Can I come? Hey! Get that incredulous look off your face.”
Frankie was getting married next year. Surely to God Colleen would be able to lose ten pounds by then. Wedding pictures lasted forever, and she wanted to look as good as possible.
She’d seen the other bridesmaids.
* * *
Annie drove out to the farm to pick up Lee, who’d spent the weekend with her Aunt Lila and Uncle Ewan. Both of them assured Annie that Lee was no problem, but Annie knew how tiring it was to be on guard every minute of the day. Lee loved the animals and she’d help Ewan feed them, but he had to watch how much she was giving them and make sure she remembered to lock the gates behind her.
Now that Lee was ten, she wanted to do more things on her own, but that wasn’t always possible, which was frustrating for her. Sometimes at night when Annie couldn’t sleep she’d worry about Lee’s future. She’d turn over and snuggle up to Henry’s back, and even in his sleep he’d take her hand and hold it.
Then there were the nights she’d lie awake and think how lonely it must be for David, going home to an empty bed every night and living away from his children. At least he spent time with them now. He’d head to Halifax every month or so and take them to dinner or out to a movie. The girls weren’t kids anymore and didn’t come to Cape Breton as often, what with jobs and relationships. She and Kay stayed in touch. She’d always liked Kay and was glad she was able to stop drinking. Too bad her mother couldn’t quit. The last time Annie saw Virginia she had looked like Cruella de Vil. Louis didn’t look so hot either. She was grateful that she and Henry had only as much money as they needed. There was a time when she’d hoped to work after Robbie was old enough, but Lee came along and that ended that.
Annie got a kick out of going to the farm now. She had started to think that Lila’s affair was the best thing that could have happened to Ewan and Lila. Before the whole mess, Annie sometimes felt that Lila treated Ewan more like the hired man than her husband, but now she saw how happy they were together. Lila would stroke Ewan’s cheek when she’d leave the table to bring dessert, or button his sweater to make sure he wouldn’t get cold. It had taken them long enough, but she guessed some people were slow learners.
It was a lovely spring day and as soon as she pulled up in the car, Lee and Ewan saw her and waved. Lee wasted no time running over to her, her thick glasses askew. “Mommy, there’s babies!”
Lila came out of the house wiping her hands on a tea towel. “Hi, did you get a little sleep?”
“I stayed in bed the entire weekend. It was bliss. Thank you.”
Lee grabbed her hand and made her go over to the first fence. “Two lambs.”
Annie smiled at the sight of the dear little creatures, following close behind their mother. “What are their names?”
“Lester and Bobby.”
Annie made a face at Ewan and Lila. They shrugged.
“Well, Lester and Bobby are very lucky to have you to watch over them.”
Ewan held out his hand. “Come on, Lee. We still have to clean out the horse stall.” Off they went while Annie and Lila headed to their chairs that sank into the ground more and more with every passing year.
“Is it just me, or is it harder to get in and out of these babies?”
“We’re old, Annie.”
The two lifelong friends sat back and enjoyed the sunshine. When Annie glanced over at Lila it was as if they were back on those hot lazy afternoons when the only thing they wanted to do was sit and drink lemonade. Aunt Eunie always made the best lemonade.
“You and I should take a trip somewhere,” Annie said.
Lila turned her head to look at her. “Where to?”
“I don’t know. Norway? Chile? I should go to Scotland and visit the Isle of North Uist. That’s where our people are from.”
“I wish I knew where my people came from.” After a moment she reached out her hand. “Of course you and your family are my people now.”
Annie took her hand and squeezed it. “Well, we had to do something. Can you imagine Bertha Butts being your people?!”
Lila laughed. “I wonder what happened to her.”
“She went to that great settee in the sky.”
“You’re terrible.”
“Oh, my god! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you first thing…John’s wife is having a baby! I’m going to be a grandmother.”
“What’s wonderful! Are you really old enough to be a grandmother? Where did the years go?”
“I suspect Daniel’s wife will be pregnant soon if she isn’t already. Those boys always were competitive.”
“Henry must be so excited.”
“Not as excited as his mother!”
“She doesn’t still work for him, surely. She must be almost eighty.”
“I’ve told you this three times now. Her job ended when she called up that nun and told her she was pregnant.”
Lila playfully slapped Annie on the arm. “That’s right! Oh my, I’m getting like Aunt Eunie.”
They stayed out and talked long into the afternoon.
* * *
David couldn’t keep saying no, so on the Victoria Day weekend, when the boys and their families were home, he went along with Annie and Henry to a family picnic at their friend’s cottage in Mira. It belonged to a doctor, a specialist who had a lot more money and toys than Henry did. Apparently there were speedboats and sailboats, canoes and tubes—everything to keep people amused all day.
David tended to steer clear of parties where people gathered with their children and grandchildren. It made him uncomfortable. His loved ones lived away and he was the reason. Not that he thought about it all the time. Lots of people got divorced and had their kids living elsewhere.
If anyone were to ask him, he’d say he was happy. He enjoyed his job and even enjoyed living with his mother. She never hovered. Now that Aunt Muriel’s husband was gone, the two of them were quite the pair, visiting family in Hingham, near Boston, and the Miramichi in New Brunswick as well as friends in Montreal.
He even had a love life, but he kept that private because he knew he’d never marry again, so there was no sense in introducing anyone to the family. He never went out with a woman for long. His lady friends would start to hint about settling down and when he didn’t budge, they’d give up. Then it was on to the next one.
The picnic turned out to be a nicer time than he’d anticipated. David enjoyed his nephews very much now that they were young men with wives and girlfriends of their own. He never missed having a son; he always felt he had four already. To sit and laugh together while having a beer and a hamburger was a real treat and he was glad he’d made the effort to come.
Lee also sought him out for their usual reading time. She crawled up onto his lap like always, and they sat together reading her favourite Roald Dahl books. She always had them handy in the book bag she carried. Then they’d colour together. It was fun when she was little, but now that she was a hefty weight, it had become a little more uncomfortable.
His niece eventually wandered off
to get a drink. He closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head, as he settled into his deck chair. The heat of the spring sun felt good against his skin. The laughter, banging of the cottage door, and sounds of the motorboats slowly drifted into the background. He was back on the beach in Round Island, laying on the hot spot, as the kids called it—the white sand that absorbed all the heat from the sun. Sometimes it was so hot you couldn’t walk on it and were forced to run across it on your heels shouting, “Ow, ow, ow.”
He was just drifting off when Annie came up behind him and put her cold hands over his eyes. “Guess who!”
David batted her hands away. “You miserable creep. I was enjoying my nap.”
Annie perched herself on the arm of his chair. “You’re fifty, not a hundred. You can nap when you’re dead.”
“You’ll be dead in a minute if you don’t get lost.”
“Come in the canoe with me.”
“No, I’m fine here.”
“It’s got a motor on it if we get lazy. Come on, you never do anything with me.”
“Jesus, you sound like you’re seven.”
Annie got up. “All right, I’ll go by myself.”
He watched her go down to the dock and then onto the sand where the canoe was beached. She tried to push it into the water, but it wouldn’t move.
David stood up and shouted, “For God’s sake, let me do that.” He got to the water’s edge, where she stood there grinning.
“You knew I’d come down here, didn’t you?” He pushed the boat into the water.
“I know you better than you know yourself.”
“Where are the life jackets?”
“They’re back at the cottage. Let’s just jump in and go. We’ll be back in five minutes.”
“I don’t like going…”
Annie jumped in the canoe. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
The damn canoe floated away faster than either of them anticipated, so David ran up to it and almost tipped it trying to get in so she wouldn’t be on her own.
“Yahoo!” She grabbed the oar and started paddling before he was even settled in his seat.
“Damn it, Annie. Just a minute.”
“You’re such a grump.”
Finally the canoe righted itself and David grabbed the other oar. He would’ve preferred to be in the back to steer the canoe, but it was too late now. “All right, I’ll start on my right; you start on your left.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” she laughed behind him.
The water was calm when they started, but got a little choppy as they paddled out of sight of the cottage.
“I don’t want to go too far,” he said.
“Honest to God, you’re like an old woman. When did you turn into Mom?”
“Shut it, squirt.”
They paddled along the shore and listened to the birds.
“I love it when the leaves are new,” she said. “The green is so delicious.”
The sun went behind the clouds and the temperature dropped considerably.
“Brr…I should’ve brought a sweater and put something on over these shorts.”
David wasn’t listening. He was worried that the prevailing winds were taking them farther and farther from shore. If he’d been with Henry or the boys they could’ve powered their way home, but Annie didn’t have as much strength.
“Annie, I think we should head back,” he shouted behind him.
“That’s what I was thinking.”
They turned around and paddled quickly, but now the current was against them and made it much tougher.
“I don’t think we’re making any headway,” she said.
“It would be a good idea to start that engine behind you.”
“How do I do that?”
Shit. If only he’d been in the back. He tried to explain it and she followed his instructions, but every time she pulled the cord, the engine stalled.
“I can’t do it! Change seats.” Her teeth were chattering and she was covered in goose bumps.
“That’s a bad idea. We don’t want to tip this thing over while we’re trying to switch spots.” He took off his shirt and threw it at her. “Put that on. I’m sure someone will notice we’re missing and get in the speedboat and we’ll be home before you know it.”
She put on the shirt. “Pratfall’s gonna kill me.”
“Does the shirt help?”
She nodded.
“Let’s keep paddling to keep warm.”
She nodded again.
David had never paddled so hard in his life, or for so long. He kept looking back at Annie and thinking how thin she was. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? Annie wasn’t fragile, she was larger than life, but now her scrawny arms stuck out of his shirtsleeves like two toothpicks.
“I think we’re making progress,” she said slowly.
David knew they weren’t. And he didn’t like the sound of Annie’s voice. The waves got choppier and the wind picked up. The canoe was now moving from side to side. They mustn’t tip over. The water in May was still ice-cold. All these thoughts were going round and round in his head. He was so angry with her.
“You should’ve listened to me!”
“Sorry, Davy.”
He didn’t know what to do. If he could get the engine going they’d be all right. “Okay, now do what I tell you. You’re going to have to lie down if you can, so we can keep it steady.”
She wasn’t listening.
“Annie!”
He startled her, and that sudden small movement caused her to lean too far. The water poured into the left side of the canoe and in only a few seconds they were swamped, the canoe now bobbing upside down in the ocean.
The shock of cold was the first thing that hit him. He thought he saw Annie’s legs kicking before they disappeared behind the other side of the canoe. He treaded water, waves splashing in his face with the overturned hull like a whale between them.
“Annie! Annie!”
He heard a small voice. “I’m here!”
David swam over to her side of the boat. She was clinging to the side but kept slipping. “Davy, help me!”
He grabbed her around the waist and on pure adrenalin alone heaved her up as far as he could so she could hang on with most of her body out of the water.
“The engine is weighing down the boat.. I’m going to try and take it off.”
“No! Don’t leave me!”
“It’s okay. You’ll be all right. You sing ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’ until I come back up.”
He dove back under the canoe hoping there’d be an air pocket, but as he suspected the engine kept that from happening. David popped up to the surface again and heard Annie singing before he took another deep breath and went down again, trying to feel where the screws were in the murky water. He twisted with all his might but they wouldn’t budge.
Back up to the surface and this time Annie’s voice was slurred, “Don’t leave me here alone. Stay with me.”
“I’ll go to the other side and grab your hands around the hull. It will make it easier for us to hold on.”
He swam under the canoe and when he got to the other side, he pulled himself up by the fingernails to reach Annie’s hands on the first go. He took one hand and then the other and pulled her up so that they could see each other.
The waves and the wind made it difficult to hear. “We’re going to be okay. Someone will be along shortly to take us back. You make sure you hang onto me until they get here.”
“I’m scared, Davy.”
“There’s no need to be. I’ve got you!
David didn’t know how long they floated there, but every time he looked at her the mottled blue around her mouth had spread wider. Whenever it seemed that her head lolled to one side, he’d shout at her to wake up.
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“Don’t do this to me, Annie! Don’t leave me! Open your eyes!” He’d try and shake her hands but he was too frozen to move. “We’re going to be all right! I’m here with you.”
A wave hit him in the face and he coughed up water. “Don’t die! Don’t die, Annie! Can you hear me?”
In the distance was the buzz of a motorboat. He looked up and saw it rushing towards them.
“Annie! They’re here! They’re here! You’re safe now!”
Annie’s head drooped so far back he knew she was gone.
He screamed into the wind.
* * *
The shock was so severe that it took four days to organize Annie’s funeral. No one was capable of doing anything. The entire family didn’t eat, they didn’t sleep, and they couldn’t talk without bawling their eyes out. It seemed the whole of Glace Bay was at Henry’s and Abigail’s doors with trays of food that went unwrapped, flowers that went unseen, and cards that went unread.
Kay brought the girls home by airplane. The three of them collapsed into David’s arms and they wept as a family.
“It was my fault,” David cried. “I knew better. I should’ve protected her.”
Kay tried to look into his face, as he rocked on the chair with his head in his hands. “It wasn’t your fault. You held on to her. You kept her from drowning. She’s not on the bottom of the ocean somewhere.”
David stood up and began to pace. “I should never have let her get in that damned canoe in the first place. I could’ve picked her up and dragged her out. Why didn’t I?”
Round and round and round he went with guilt and anger and sorrow. He held on to his girls and wept on their young shoulders.
Annie’s mother stayed in her room with her Bible. She didn’t want to see or be with anyone.
Henry was so broken he couldn’t stand up straight. He was only fifty-six and was hunched over like a very old man. The twins, with the help of their wives, were the ones who helped their younger brothers and made sure that Lee was taken care of. Henry couldn’t bear it when she asked, “Where’s Mommy?” over and over again.
Henry had to deal with the funeral home director who asked if he wanted a top-of-the-line casket for his dear departed wife.
