Forget-Me-Not

by Kelly, Sahara

  "Er--thanks." Valli wasn't sure what to say to that. "Can I do anything for you?" It wasn't what Valli intended to ask at all. But something in Janis's eyes told her there would be no simple answers to the questions trembling on Valli's lips.

  "Nah, but you're a doll to ask. I'm good these days. Miss a few things but found some new ones. It all balances out."

  "Oh. I see," said Valli, who didn't.

  "Someday you'll get it, honey..."

  The apparition began to fade.

  "Wait--" Valli reached out and touched nothing. "Tell me. About John--it has to be him you're talking about--please--"

  Becoming less substantial by the second, Janis's image shook her head. "I can't kid. Trust your heart. Trust in love. We sing about doing that, so just do it, okay? There's gonna be some hurtin', but perhaps in time there'll be joy too..."

  She was gone.

  Valli clung to the sink, gulping down breaths of air into starving lungs. She wasn't going crazy. Really, she wasn't. She was haunted by some kind of a rock and roll ghost with a thing for bathrooms.

  It was too freaky for words--and yet Valli felt no fear or the cold chill of a spiritual visitation. Her inner senses weren't picking up anything like a threat, in fact it was totally the opposite. She felt great--calm and refreshed.

  What had she done other than sing a few songs and go to bed with the most wonderful man she'd ever met? If that was all it took to be important to the cosmos, then Valli would be happy to contribute every day. Great sex, great music--where was the downside?

  She dressed in a contemplative mood, risking quick glances now and again at the mirror, just in case--

  But there were no more mystical apparitions. Apparently Valli had done what she had been summoned to do. Which was, she supposed, to be classed under the good thing category.

  With mixed emotions, she went back into the sunny living room and looked at her guitar. The music flooded over her, as warm a sensation as the shower water or the sunlight. It was now. It was time.

  The song was bubbling to the surface, complete, harmonized and echoing around her brain.

  Without a second thought for anything but the melody and the lyrics, Valli sat down, picked up her instrument and did what her soul loved best--wrote music.

  After several hours she had four songs written and more were lining up somewhere between her ears. She forced herself to stop, uncramp her muscles and dig up something to eat.

  Carol had peeked in once, but simply smiled and nodded, leaving again when she saw Valli at work with papers strewn over the floor in front of the couch. There were some snacks lying around which Valli greedily devoured, anxious to return to her haven where notes blended and chords melded into sounds that she knew would please and delight her many fans.

  As if a geyser had been uncorked, she labored throughout most of the day, only stopping to take care of her basic needs. Even Beethoven must have stopped to use the chamber pot now and again.

  Finally, as the afternoon drew to a close, she sighed and flexed her shoulders, tired but extremely pleased with what she'd accomplished. It was quiet, peaceful, and for a moment or two, Valli simply let everything slide away from her. Then reality intruded and she picked up her cell phone, realizing it had been off since this morning.

  There were several text messages waiting for her and one voicemail from Charlie.

  "Put the photo up, babe, like you asked. And my God, the response has been pretty damn impressive." There was a pause for a second or two. "I'm just checking here--in the last three hours we've had over two hundred folks phone in. We routed the calls through to a local hotline for missing persons. Dunno if they're thrilled with that much activity, but they got free promo, so they aren't complaining. Yet."

  His low chuckle made Valli smile, even as her pulse speeded up. John's photo was now online. Would anyone know him? "Anyway, gimme a call when you get this. Marla and I are starting to get fidgety. We're wined out. Time to get back to work, maybe?"

  The message ended and Valli found herself laughing. Wined out, huh? More like they'd had enough sex and needed something else to do now.

  Of course, she couldn't ever imagine getting enough of sex with John, but maybe after twenty years or so, they might--

  Christ. What was she thinking? Don't go there yet. Don't even think about a future with this man right now.

  Pushing all those thoughts to one side, Valli hit the speed dial for Charlie.

  "Hey, dude. Got any recommendations for a cheerful, yet delicate white that goes well with fish?"

  Charlie groaned on the other end. "Enough already. How ya doin', sweetheart?"

  "I'm doing great. Better than great. I wrote a whole bunch of songs today, Charlie. They just flew out of my head. I think they're good too. Need some work, some tidying up, but I reckon I may just have the backbone of a new CD here."

  "Whooeeee!" Charlie whooped loud enough to make Valli wince. "When? When can I hear 'em?"

  "Soon." Valli meant that. It would be soon. She was eager now to sing again, to perform, to cut those tracks and get her career off and running once more.

  And on the heels of that thought came another one.

  She'd be leaving John behind.

  Chapter Six

  "This is amazing, John."

  The familiar voice echoed tinnily over the intercom as John lay quietly on the bed of the MRI machine.

  "Really?"

  He didn't mean that to sound so casual, but he was having one helluva hard time focusing on this whole testing business this morning. He was tired, buzzed from a night of fabulous sex and would rather take a nap and dream of Valli than have his brain probed.

  Of course, at this point he'd rather have a lot of things done to him other than have his brain probed, but these were good people with his best interests at heart, so he tried to infuse some interest into his tone. "What's happening, Doc?"

  "All kinds of things. Neural activity. Spreading through places we haven't seen it before."

  Yep, that was good. And Dr. Felix sounded like he was dancing around the control booth. "Okay. So why can't I remember anything yet?"

  "Give it time."

  The response was automatic and John could imagine the man peering intently into his monitor, looking at all the different places inside John's head. It was kind of spooky when he got right down to it, so he dismissed it and went back to what he could remember--Valli.

  Her scent seemed to linger on his lips and her taste on his tongue. The brightness of her smile--the waggle of that glorious white ass--she was an incredibly amazing woman and their night together had been one astounding sensation after another.

  Was sex always like that? John pondered the question. When he got his memories back, would she fade into perspective against his other lovers? How many other lovers were there? Was he promiscuous? He didn't feel like he was, but how did one feel about that stuff?

  It was a conundrum he couldn't solve, so he simply lay there and relished the warmly erotic images of Valli.

  "Okay. That'll do it."

  The table moved gratingly out of the MRI machine and John stretched, then swung his legs over the side of it to the floor. "Gimme the scoop, Doc."

  "It's fascinating, John." The man actually rubbed his hands in glee. "Your neural pathways are showing up at last. There's connections firing, synapses doing what they're supposed to do--I'm really hopeful that before too long we'll have a breakthrough." He beamed enthusiastically.

  "That's cool." John thought about it. "So good things are happening inside my head. I'm happy you're happy. But I'd be happier with a memory or two."

  Dr. Felix nodded. "I understand. But you must realize that there's not just one simple pathway from point A in your brain to point B. It's a myriad of pathways, millions of neurons, a complex and intricate web of connections between everything around Point A to everything around Point B. And a lot of it is connected via Point C." He moved his hands around, trying to demonstrate for John's benefit.
"Everything I'm seeing indicates an improvement. You're far from back to normal brain activity yet, but it's coming. I can feel it."

  John lifted an eyebrow. "It's my brain. Shouldn't I be the one feeling it?"

  Laughing, Dr. Felix shook his head. "Patience, John. Patience."

  "Right."

  "Look, I've put these results into your file. I know Dr. Lin will want to know about it. Perhaps with her, you'll be able to progress--physically the prognosis is excellent today. She'll have something to work with now..."

  John couldn't bring himself to rain on Dr. Felix's parade, so he simply nodded. "Okay. I'm seeing her soon."

  "Good. Good. Think positive thoughts."

  "Yes. Of course."

  John walked away doing his best to think positive thoughts. The only ones that he could really call positive were the ones concerning last night. He was very pleased that there was now a good chance he'd get his memory back.

  But it might well be a double-edged sword.

  For the first time, he was slightly afraid of what might be lurking in the hidden recesses of his brain. And if those secrets might impact what he had found with Valli. It was--disquieting, to say the least.

  Right now, at this moment, she was the light in his life and the song in his heart. Would his past dim that light and silence that song?

  John didn't know. And he didn't like not knowing even more today than ever. Before last night, he had nothing to lose. Now he did.

  And he wasn't sure if he could stand losing her.

  ----

  Valli couldn't help wondering what John was doing as she moved through the day, fussing over her music. Now that the initial composition phase had passed, along with its intense involvement--leaving the polishing phase in its place--Valli's mind had more time to wander to thoughts of him. She felt sure he was probably thinking of her too, at least now and again.

  She had no idea what sort of therapies he was receiving, or how much of his focus they demanded. If it was just a matter of him lying there in an MRI, then he must have had a few moments to think about her, mustn't he?

  What would he be thinking?

  Valli shook the mood away. She had no clue what it was like to not remember anything. She couldn't envision how it must be to have sex with that kind of a void in one's head. Even being a virgin and having sex for the first time--well, one had all that accumulated information, right or wrong, to use as a reference.

  John sure as hell hadn't needed a reference manual when it came to making love to Valli.

  Slumping back in the couch and leaving the papers where they were, Valli closed her eyes and indulged in a few moments of pure sybaritic pleasure. She'd been touched in a way that was new to her.

  She'd been caressed, stroked, worshipped with hands and lips and tongue. She'd had an experience that a lot of women probably only dream about. She'd been the entire focus of one man's passionate attentions--no distractions, no competition, nothing but the two of them.

  It had been a moment out of time for Valli, a unique and incredible night that had taught her much about herself and her body's capability for sensuality and sexuality. And all at the hands of a man who didn't know who he was.

  Well, she had a pretty good idea. He was caring--he wouldn't have touched her the way he did otherwise. Like she was precious, maybe. Special. He was all male, through and through, loving her mouth on him, responding with enthusiasm and fire to everything she did to him. He didn't try and control her or dominate her. He'd made her feel an equal, a partner in their passion, as vital to his needs as he was to hers.

  Tears stung behind her closed eyelids. She had to be careful, she warned herself. It would be all too easy to fall seriously for this man.

  And that was something she was afraid to let happen.

  If--when--he got his memories back, well who knew what would be revealed? A girlfriend? Or worse, a wife? A commitment someplace a gazillion miles away? And then what? Bittersweet memories of a stolen night with that singer he'd met?

  She shook her head at herself. No, better to keep it simple between them. There was passion and there was desire. For now, that would have to be enough.

  Valli let her mind drift, focusing on nothing at all for a while, relaxing into the sofa cushions...

  "Valli? Hey, Valli..."

  A hand was gently shaking her shoulder and she woke to a darkening room. "Good grief."

  Carol was standing next to her. "You looked like you were having a good nap. I almost hated to wake you, but you need to eat something, honey." She gestured to the tray on the table. "Got to keep getting your strength up, you know."

  Valli ran a hand through her hair. "Weird. I don't usually sleep during the day. I guess I was tired after--" She bit back the rest of that statement in a hurry.

  Carol tried not to smile. "Yes. Well. That's good, I guess."

  Valli risked a glance at her, then laughed. "Okay. You know about last night. And thanks for the wine. It was great." She blinked. "I think."

  "It obviously got the job done." Carol chuckled. "Anyway, come eat. I reckon you'll be getting plenty of rest tonight."

  "Oh?" Valli stood and wandered to the table, sniffing the food appreciatively.

  "Yeah. Great excitement with John."

  "What's going on?" Valli's head snapped up.

  "Some kind of a breakthrough, I guess. Dr. Felix is going around happier than a clam and John's been in with Dr. Lin all afternoon. They just ordered dinner, so it looks like they'll be making a night of it."

  Valli's heart thudded. "He got his memories back?"

  Carol shrugged helplessly. "Not a clue. Nobody's saying anything at the moment, but something's up. You can sense it in the air."

  "Oh God." Legs weak, Valli flopped down onto the carpet, grabbed a carrot stick and munched on it. "When do you think they'll be done?"

  Carol reached over and patted Valli's shoulder. "Don't wait up, sweetie. Once Dr. Lin gets her teeth into something, she's one who refuses to give up until she's got what she wants." She straightened. "Look, if I hear anything at all, I'll come by and let you know, okay? If I don't show, then you'll know they're still at it."

  Valli gulped. "Thanks, Carol. You're a peach. I don't want to get you into trouble, but it's John. He's..." She paused, searching for words. "He's special. To me." She glanced up. "You know?"

  Carol nodded. "I know." She walked to the door. "Try not to worry about it. There's nothing you can do at this point. Just relax." She pointed at the tray. "And eat. You missed a proper lunch."

  "Yes, Mom." Valli wrinkled her nose at Carol and they shared a laugh as Carol left the room.

  Idly, Valli munched her way through the meal, although she'd be in dire straits if anyone quizzed her on what she'd eaten. Her thoughts were all for John--his memories, his state of mind. Was he excited? Scared? Happy, sad, upset, euphoric? Ecstatic? Was he on the phone right this minute to his aunt in Minnesota? Did he have an aunt? Had he ever been to Minnesota?

  "Sheesh." Valli snorted at herself. This was no way to behave, mooning about like a teenage girl waiting for the phone to ring, glancing at the clock every five minutes or so. She should do something useful with this time.

  There were books to read, maybe some work on her songs. She could stop by the gym and do the workout she'd missed this morning. She could hit the hot tub for a soak or take a swim before the air got too cool.

  Or she could check her email, something she'd let slide for too long.

  It was her private address, of course, nothing traceable to her public persona. And there was little in it right now. Her friends knew she was recuperating, Charlie had her contact number, so after deleting the amazing amount of junk mail that tended to accumulate, Valli idly surfed around the websites devoted to her professional life.

  And stopped when John's face smiled back at her from the most popular pages.

  God, he looked good. Relaxed and smiling at her, she realized she'd caught a look in his eyes that would melt mo
re than a few panties out there. It was sexy, satisfied and held more than a dash of total male wickedness. He looked hot.

  Well, of course he did. He was.

  She clicked on to one of the thousands of sites dedicated to celebrity news, this one focusing on the music industry. She stopped short when she saw John. Again. On the front page too. But this time, there wasn't a number underneath, there was a headline.

  "Valli Solo's new love?" She read the words aloud. "Recuperating from the flu and exhaustion, singer Valli Solo has been out of the limelight recently. Rumors are that she's working on a new album while regaining her health. But we have to wonder, after seeing this photo on her website, whether the exhaustion was caused by her tour or something else..."

  She shook her head and read on. "Valli has always maintained a low profile when it comes to the men in her life. She says little about them and few photos of her dates ever appear. But we always assumed she knew their names. Who's this mystery man? And what is his connection to Valli Solo? Is he the inspiration for her latest songs? We can't wait to find out...C'mon out of hiding, Valli. And bring your latest delicious hunk with you!"

  Delicious hunk? Valli snickered. John would get a hoot out of that one. Since she had no printer and couldn't make him a hard copy, she bookmarked the page and logged out. It was inevitable that the crazy people would try and turn her request for information about John into something enticingly sexy. It was how they sold advertising space, after all.

  She probably should have thought ahead to this possibility when the idea of putting his photo on her website occurred to her. But hell, if it brought someone forward who knew him? Then it was worth all the fuss. And Charlie always told her that the worst kind of publicity was no publicity at all.

  Perhaps when she got back into the swing of things, she could do one of those Public Service announcements, encouraging people to keep an eye on the "Missing" bulletins. To be aware of lost kids or something. Anything that would help people.