Hopeless For You

by Hill, Hayden

The rest of us grabbed our packs from the Jeep and swung them over our shoulders.

  "Should we make a call to Rebecca on the satphone, let her know what's up?" Blaine said.

  Kade shook his head. "I don't see the point. She knows we're going to section C. But she doesn't need to know the bridge is out. Not yet, anyway. It's not like she can do anything about it from there."

  "Except order us back."

  Kade smiled ironically. "Exactly."

  With that, he turned and led us downstream.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Kade

  Ash drove me wild. Those sharp sky-blue eyes, the firm set of her mouth, the pouty lips, the defiant attitude. The secrets.

  Especially the secrets.

  She seemed so fragile at times. All it took was the wrong word to set her off. I thought I had an idea of what had happened to her and I was going to say something when she was crying there in the Jeep but the time hadn't seemed right. Besides, talking about her past was dangerous. It might bring the two of us closer together.

  I couldn't allow that.

  The only thing that got my mind off her were the nicotine cravings, which came in waves, a little bit like hunger. One moment I'd be going off the rails, ready to kill for a smoke, and the next, my mind would head straight back to Ash. I was seesawing between two different addictions.

  I glanced back and saw her swinging those sexy hips of hers. Damn. Too bad all she had for me were lies and broken promises. Maybe she was different but I doubted it. A haunted past didn't guarantee a thing.

  She met my gaze but I looked away, forcing myself to march on. As I led the others back to the ford, I noticed Ash stayed close to me and let Blaine and Gina fall behind. Interesting.

  I reached the blaze mark I'd made earlier and called a halt. I took off my boots and socks and stowed them in my backpack. Then I rolled up my pant legs and splashed into the water. Damn, it was frigid. My bare feet began to feel numb but there was nothing to do but grin and bare it—after all, Ash was watching.

  After everyone had crossed, I dried my feet and pulled my socks and boots back on. I took out the GPS again and led the others toward the mountains that hugged the coastline.

  I glanced at the sun, which peered between the tall branches of the pines. "By the time the sun sets, we should make the cliffs."

  I increased my stride, eager to be there in time for the spectacular sunset. For some reason, it was important to me that Ash saw it too. Maybe it was because I knew she'd appreciate it. Or maybe I just wanted to share a small part of myself with her.

  At the end of the first hour I called a halt. "Water break."

  I lowered my pack and grabbed the canteen. Beside me, Ash pulled the tie out of her hair, shaking her locks out before retying them in an odd topknot. She looked like Princess Amidala from Star Wars or something. I shook my head, smiling slightly. Girls did the weirdest things with their hair.

  Still, it was kind of cute and I had to admit it showed off her neck quite nicely. I found myself wondering why I was attracted to her. Gina was more my type. Tall, blonde, leggy, chiseled. Ash was beautiful too, but in a different way. There was just something about her... if you took any one of her features by itself—her lips, her nose, her cheeks—they were nothing special. But when you combined them, she became something amazing, something more than beautiful. It was like every time I caught the sunlight hitting her face, I noticed something else about the color of her eyes, the fullness of her lips, or the shape of her nose.

  When she turned toward me, I pretended to be far more interested in my canteen. What was wrong with me, putting this girl—this intern—on some high-and-mighty pedestal far above ordinary mortals? I was just undersexed out here in the woods, that was all. Because I definitely wasn't developing feelings for this girl.

  I definitely wasn't going to get hurt again.

  "British Columbia's a whole different beast than Tennessee, isn't it?" I said as we started hiking again. I'd never been the greatest at small talk.

  Ash frowned. "It's not some pissing contest, you know. 'My back country is rougher than your back country.' These woods aren't so different than The Smoky Mountains. Not at all."

  I shrugged, a little taken aback by her combative tone. I thought we'd moved past that. "Not what I meant. Like I'm supposed to know what The Smoky Mountains are, anyway." I imagined a mountain range made of cigarettes waiting to be smoked. Sounded like heaven.

  "Only the best mountains in Tennessee." Ash fell into step beside me, brushing my arm slightly as she did so. The whole area tingled as if some electrical spark passed between us. She'd done that earlier and I was starting to wonder if she was doing it on purpose. I doubted it. She was a medical student and liked her guys rich, clean-cut, and dressed in pinstripe suits and penny loafers, not poor guys like me with tattoos and spiky hair. I was fine with that. More than fine.

  Eventually, the dense pines gave way to lichen-covered rocks. Alpine flowers sprung from between the gray stones here and there. The incline steepened considerably and soon I heard the sound of waves crashing against rock. I crested the last rise and there it was, my favorite spot in the world. I'd been waiting since last summer to see this. It was one of the reasons I loved section C so much.

  I stood on a ledge. The rippling waters of the ocean stretched to infinity in front of me. The sun was low and even though it wasn't touching the horizon, it streaked the ocean red down the middle. The cloud-smeared sky was gold near the water but transitioned to red and then purple higher up.

  Below, the ocean waves struck the rocks and launched gigantic plumes of spray in every direction, though up here, they looked like tiny splashes.

  I heard Ash beside me. "I love it."

  She might as well have said, "I love you" for all the effect her words had on me. I was actually starting to wish I was one of those clean-cut guys in the loafers and suits I thought she liked. I felt a wave of depression coming on as I realized once again I'd never be the kind of guy she wanted. But that was good, right? Really good.

  I went closer to the edge, maybe a little too close. My vision filled with the dizzying sight of the white breakers crashing against the rocks far below.

  A hand roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Kade!" Blaine said. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

  I shrugged. Maybe I had gone a bit too close. That didn't mean he had to be so rude about it.

  I took off my backpack and let it fall to the ground. I fished around for my canteen and sat down. I wished I had a smoke.

  Ash and Gina had taken off their own packs and were busy snapping pictures with their otherwise useless phones. I wondered how long the batteries would last on those.

  "Look." I pointed out the silhouettes of two falcons in the distance, above the ocean. The birds swooped, dove and pirouetted around each other.

  "What are they doing?" Ash said.

  I grinned. "Courting."

  The birds slowly neared, the setting sun tinting their rich plumage red. I watched the larger female spin upside down, talons up, as she took something from the male—it looked like a fish.

  The birds broke apart and the dance was over all too soon. I was left feeling a little broken inside. I knew falcons chose their mates for life and that the two were just re-establishing their bond, but still I wished the act could last forever. Because after the dance there was only pain.

  Not that falcons had to worry about that.

  "Got positive IDs on Hercules and Andromeda." Blaine was writing in a notepad he'd pulled from his pack. The radio frequency tracker rested on the ground beside him.

  "Glad to see they wintered all right." I stood. I suddenly realized this spot was best enjoyed alone, and I was impatient to get going. "Come on, we can check on the nests tomorrow. I want to set up camp before dark."

  "Is he always in such a hurry?" Gina asked Blaine.

  "Only when he's hungry."

  I was, at that.

  In the deepening twilight, I led the
group over the rocky terrain and away from the cliff until I found a relatively flat area that would make a good place to set up camp. It was already getting cold so the first order of business was to pull on a sweater.

  While Blaine worked with Gina, I guided Ash through the steps of setting up camp and I was pleasantly surprised when her insistence that she wasn't completely new to roughing it seemed to be spot on. She was capable even with gear she hadn't worked with before.

  Before long, we had the four-person tent pitched and a firepit dug out and surrounded with stones. I placed three two liter bottles of water beside the pit for dousing purposes and then tossed Ash the lighter.

  I settled back and in moments, she'd created a warm, surging fire.

  "Did you know you can make fire from ice?" I said when she sat down across from me. I was feeling way more talkative than usual after a long day of hiking.

  Ash furrowed her brow. "What? How?" The firelight reflected in her eyes and made them glimmer. For some reason, I was reminded of gemstones.

  "The key is to find a clear sheet of ice," I continued as Blaine and Gina joined us. "River ice is perfect. The top part, anyway. You don't want the cloudy pieces deeper inside. Cut out a small section of ice, shape it with your knife, then use the body heat of your hands to smooth it into a lens. Angle it over kindling and the sun gets concentrated into a point, like a magnifying glass. The kindling ignites. Fire from ice."

  I saw Ash and Gina exchange a glance. "I doubt it's as easy as he makes it out to be," Ash told her.

  "I never said it was easy. But it does work. The best shape is a sphere because you can keep rotating the ice until you find the best angle."

  Ash shrugged. "I'll stick with a lighter."

  That made me chuckle. "Touché."

  Darkness settled on the camp and with it came the night chill. We huddled closer to the fire for warmth. I could think of someone else I wanted to huddle closer to...

  Me and Blaine distributed sandwiches. We always ate those on the first day because the bread and lettuce got moldy fast. I'd also brought along some instant oatmeal but for most of the next three days we'd be eating rations of pemmican, Momma Jeanne's special recipe borrowed from the Native Indians. Made of dried beef mixed with fat, salt and spices, pemmican never went bad, as far as I knew.

  I'd also managed to find space for a bag of marshmallows, a little treat I'd bought along for the girls. I handed them out after we finished the sandwiches and Blaine snapped off some nearby branches and carved the tips with his pocketknife so we had roasting sticks. For fun, I reached into my pack and pulled out the circular drill.

  "What's that?" Ash said.

  I took off the drill bit and speared a marshmallow right onto the shaft. I winked at Ash. "Marshmallow roasting machine. Cooks all sides equally, every time."

  I activated the drill, applying only a little pressure, and the marshmallow began to revolve. As I'd promised her, all sides were toasted evenly. When it was ready I offered it to Ash and she slid it off the drill.

  She took a bite. "Mmm, it's perfect. So good." Some of the goo spilled over her lips and I had the craziest urge to wipe it off with my fingers.

  Or my own lips.

  I forced myself to lie back on the ground. I had to, before I did something I regretted. Those lips of hers filled my mind. So kissable.

  "Let's do something fun," Gina said out of nowhere.

  "Like what?" Ash sounded wary.

  "I don't know. How about a game of truth or dare?"

  I pretended to groan from where I lay on the ground. "God. That's for thirteen-year-olds."

  "It's for adults, too," Gina said.

  "I hate that game." Actually, I liked it but felt like being a rascal tonight. Blaine gave me a sly look.

  "I hate it, too," Ash said. "And it is for kids."

  I tilted my head so I could see her from where I lay. Her pure blue eyes actually seemed a little wider than usual. Wide with...fear?

  Gina wouldn't take no for an answer. "Come on, let's play."

  "I'm game," Blaine said.

  I sat up and gave Ash what I hoped was a comforting grin. I lowered my voice. "Don't worry, this is the one game where you can lie your ass off and still win."

  "I heard that," Blaine said. "Trust me, I can tell when you're lying, Kade."

  "We'll see." I rubbed my hands together. "If we're going to play this game, then we're going to play the Canadian version."

  "The Canadian version?" Gina sounded just as worried as Ash now.

  "Yes." I grinned deviously and saw the glint in Blaine's eye. The 'Canadian' version was something I played at the bar when I was working on a girl, a harmless little game that sometimes got sexual. "Truth, dare, kiss, love, or torture?"

  "Torture." Gina said right away.

  I pressed my lips together. "Looks like we've got ourselves a sadomasochist here, Blaine."

  "Hey!" Gina tried to slap my arm but I raised my hands and she ended up high-fiving me. I held onto her hand for a few seconds and when I let go, I noticed Ash was scowling at me.

  I wiped the grin off my face. "So, torture it is. You've got two choices, Gina. Tickle torture, where each of us gets to tickle you for twenty seconds. Or truth, where we all get to ask you a question."

  "Tickle torture." Gina smiled broadly. "Since I'm immune to tickling."

  Blaine launched at her and she squeezed her arms hard. I joined Blaine and together we managed to lift one of her arms and tickle her. We got her in the ribs, the underarms—no ticklish body part was spared. Gina struggled, laughing frantically the whole time. I think we tickled her longer than twenty seconds because it was just too hilarious and we were all laughing. Even Ash was chortling along behind us, though she hadn't joined in with the tickling.

  Finally, we sat down. "Immune to tickling, my ass," I said.

  Gina was still breathing hard and her face was all red. "You cheated."

  I rubbed my arm where she'd left a nice long scratch with her nails. "Nope. You're the one who cheated, trying to hold your arms down like that. Anyway, it's your turn."

  Gina looked at Blaine. "Truth, dare, kiss, torture...what else was there?"

  "Love." Blaine said.

  "That's right. Love. So Blaine, which is it?"

  "Love," he repeated with a grin.

  Gina glanced at me. "What's that mean? What does he have to do?"

  I shrugged. "Tell him who to make love to."

  Gina smiled. "Dry hump your backpack."

  Blaine threw up his arms in mock defeat and then proceeded to mount his backpack. I groaned and averted my eyes. "Ah, stop. I can't take it. I don't want to remember you this way, Blaine. Not as a backpack humper."

  Gina and Ash were laughing.

  "All right ,all right, that's good enough, Blaine," I said. "You won."

  Blaine sat back. His face was flushed. "Ash is next. Truth, dare, kiss—"

  "Kiss," Ash interrupted before he could finish.

  Blaine smirked. "Interesting choice. All right. Kiss Kade."

  Her eyes widened and she gave me that deer-in-the-headlights look.

  I shrugged like it was nothing but my heart was beating faster than it had all day. I actually struggled to control my breathing.

  She got up. I didn't move. I felt my shoulders stiffen.

  She stepped over to me and knelt. Her smell was all around me—a mix of perfume and day-long sweat. I'd never been more aroused by a smell.

  Then her lips brushed my forehead. I felt that electrical spark, stronger than ever before, and I was worried I might shudder in front of everyone.

  She moved away and sat back down. I could still feel the touch of her lips lingering on my forehead. I was very careful not to look at her because I knew if I did, everyone would see the longing in my eyes and the wolfish, all-consuming lust. In that moment, I wanted her more than anything in the world.

  She'd kissed me. Actually kissed me.

  This was silly. It wasn't like I'd never be
en kissed before. She hadn't even touched my lips...

  "Wow, she actually did it," Blaine said. "Impressive. So. It's your turn now Ash."

  Ash looked at me and before she could spout the game phrase, I said, "Truth."

  She had a mischievous glint in her eye. "If you were homosexual, what actor would you have the hots for?"

  "Ah, you're evil, girl," I said. "Just evil." I had to think about this one.

  "Come on, Kade," Blaine said. "Spill it."

  "Give me a sec." I didn't go to movies very often and didn't watch TV so I said the first name that popped into my mind. "Ryan Reynolds all the way, baby."

  "Oooh." Gina clapped. "Nice choice."

  "Thank you." I gave a bow. "So. Your turn again Gina. Truth, dare, kiss—"

  "Dare." Gina said.

  I smirked. "You really gotta be careful when you choose a dare with me."

  "Why?"

  "Show a nipple to everyone while moaning passionately."

  Gina's mouth dropped open. She glanced around shyly, then started to moan. She pulled the collar of her sweater and the underlying T-shirt down so her bra was visible. I didn't think she was going to actually do it but then at the last second she yanked the bra down so I could see some of her areola.

  Abruptly, she released her sweater and the stretched fabric snapped back into place. She stopped moaning.

  "Hey!" I said. "You didn't show your nipple. Just a piece of areola." Though even that was more than I expected.

  "The areola is part of the nipple," Gina said. "Didn't you take anatomy in school? And you're lucky I showed you even that much."

  "She's right," Ash said. "I know I wouldn't have." She sounded a bit like she was scolding Gina, and the blonde woman lowered her gaze.

  Blaine had kept quiet the whole time, I noticed. He was looking at Gina with a strange light in his eyes.

  Gina turned toward Blaine. I was pretty sure she was aware of the effect she'd just had on him. "Blaine, when you see a girl, what's the first thing you notice about her?"

  Blaine blinked for a few moments and I thought he was trying to get the image of her areola out of his head. "What, I don't get to choose from truth, dare or kiss and the rest anymore?"