When You Least Expect It

by Sandra Leiper

  ~~~

  Amanda finished leaving her third message on Dan’s answering machine. She felt horrible that he wasn’t picking up, nor returning her calls. She’d apologized profusely on all three messages, stressing the fact that she didn’t know what had come over her, but she had a feeling it was falling on deaf ears. She had blown it. She wasn’t sure where their relationship would have led, and now she’d never know.

  She poured herself a glass of wine and sat in the dark listening to music, willing the phone to ring. Around eight, it finally did. She stared at the phone for a minute before picking it up.

  “Hello?” Her voice sounded timid.

  “Hey there, are you ready for our marathon phone call?” It was Ray.

  Amanda didn’t know if she should be happy, sad or what. “Hi Ray, how are you”.

  “I’m fine, how are you doing?” Ray could tell something was wrong.

  “Okay, I guess. I’m feeling a little down tonight.”

  “Do you want to talk about it? After all, that’s what I’m here for.” He hated how sad she sounded.

  She considered this for a minute. How would he feel if she confided in him about this situation? He’d been jealous of Dan, so maybe he’d just be relieved and give her bogus advice. She opted to bring out the ‘friend’ card and go for it.

  “Remember when I asked you if I could talk about my dates and you said yes?”

  Ray hesitated. “Yes.”

  “Well, I really need to talk about this. It’s about the guy I went to Western Playland with.”

  “Mr. ‘Nobody Special’?”

  “Yes, well he still is that, only now he’s just in the past tense.”

  Amanda had been right, Ray was relieved, but he tried not to show it. “Oh? What happened?”

  Amanda recounted the scene at the pancake house. She offered no explanations, since she had none. She wanted to know what Ray thought from the male perspective.

  “Wow.” Ray was speechless. He wished he had more to say, but he was stunned. Even though it worked in his favor, he had to wonder about her behavior.

  “That’s it; just ‘wow’?”

  “Well, I guess I want to ask why you’d do that.”

  “I don’t know. I just wasn’t ready to introduce him to the kids and stuff. I felt he was pushing me into it.”

  “But it was totally by accident.”

  “I know, I know. I’m an idiot, and am not good at the dating thing. I was only dating to get them off my back about you, and now they have two things! Not only can they harangue me about my Internet relationship, now we can add my inability to have a relationship in real life. Hey, maybe I just proved my point!” Amanda laughed…just a little.

  Ray laughed too. “I don’t think that about you at all. I think we have a great relationship via phone. Maybe it’s time we talk about trying it in person.”

  It was Amanda’s turn to be speechless. “You’re kidding me?”

  “No, I’m not. It’s been almost a year since we’ve been talking. Maybe the reason you can’t have a relationship, is because you always have the ‘what if’ factor about me. Let’s meet, and see if we even click, then we can go from there.” Ray held his breath. Even though he had been thinking about this since Dan came into the picture, he hadn’t known until that moment that he was going to ask Amanda about it.

  “Wow, Ray, I don’t know what to say. I have to admit I’m intrigued. It’d be great to meet you. I don’t know…” She had to admit it scared her. After everyone saying he could be an axe murderer about a zillion times, meeting him put that in the forefront of her mind now too. “You aren’t an ax murderer are you?”

  Ray laughed. “No goofy, I’m not. If I were, I probably wouldn’t tell you anyway. You have to be completely comfortable with this Mandy, if we’re going to do it. I don’t want to force you; this is totally up to you.”

  “When do you have in mind?”

  “I haven’t figured out any details. I just wanted to feel you out on the subject. Why don’t we both sleep on it and see what we can come up with.”

  “Okay, Ray. I have to admit this has caught me off guard, but it’s an exciting thought. We’ll talk again soon.”

  They hung up, both excited about the possibility that they could actually meet. The best part was that Dan was the farthest thing from either of their minds.

  Chapter 28

  Ray was in the elevator reading a letter from his attorney. He didn’t know whether to cry…or throw up! They were postponing his court date yet again. This time Carrie was supposedly going to be out of town, and the next available time was three weeks later, almost another month from now!

  Ray was now livid. He knew she was just stalling, the kids had not mentioned a trip anywhere. What was she up to?

  He decided to nip this in the bud. When he got up to his apartment, he literally ran to the phone, and hands shaking dialed Carrie’s phone number. Nikki answered.

  “Hi Daddy.”

  “Hi Nik, is your mother home?”

  Nikki hesitated. “Yes, but right now is not a good time. She is in a really bad mood.”

  “Put your mother on the phone, Nikki. I need to talk to her, and I don’t care what kind of a mood she’s in.”

  “Okay, but I warned you. Mo-om, Dad’s on the phone.”

  Nikki put the phone down and went to find her mother. It was several minutes before Carrie picked up.

  “What do you want?”

  Ray sighed. “What I want is to know why you postponed the damned court date, Carrie. For God’s sake, can’t we get this hell over with?”

  “Oh, you think this is hell?” Carrie was shrieking. “You haven’t seen anything yet!” She hung up the phone in Ray’s ear.

  In turn, Ray slammed his own phone down, shattering it. “Great. Now I have to go buy a new phone. What else could go wrong?” He sat on his couch with his head in his hands, willing this nightmare to go away. Just then, the phone rang. Since his apartment was so small, he only had the one phone. He watched it ringing, waiting for the answering machine to pick up. It was Carrie.

  “I need more money. How the hell am I supposed to live like this? You just abandon your children and me and now we are supposed to live in poverty? How could you do this to us? Why would you want this? We barely have enough to buy food. I hate you, Ray!”

  He stared at the phone. Considering the amount he sent her monthly; he knew that she had plenty of money to buy food, and whatever else she and the kids needed. She took half of his salary! With Carrie always crying poverty, there was no way he was going to come out of this divorce ahead.

  He stood up and looked out of the picture window at the Portland skyline. He loved the view. He thought of being here alone, of the nightmare that he lived for almost twenty years, and compared the two. No matter what the cost was, he knew the best thing for him was to get away from Carrie. They all but hated each other. In fact, she did hate him. Why didn’t she just let him go?

  He knew the one thing that she wanted was for him to suffer. She didn’t want him, she wanted a husband that would bring her his paycheck and sit quietly in a corner while she went on with her life. The fact that he would have the audacity to try to live a life on his own was making her crazy. She had no control. She was going to do everything in her power to regain control. Ray didn’t doubt that for one minute. His mission was to make sure it didn’t happen.

  He grabbed his coat and although what he wanted most was to get into bed, he went out to buy a phone.

  ~~~

  Carrie was feeling victorious. She had postponed the court date because she knew that more than anything Ray wanted to finalize this divorce. Then he’d be done with her and probably never look back. She wasn’t going to let that happen! She would drag it out for years if she had to. Her mission was to find ways to postpone that final court date for as long as possible, then, take him for everything she could.

  Her friends had told her the best way to do that was to prove tha
t he was cheating on her. Even though she felt he didn’t have it in him, Carrie was sure he had met with Mandy40 by now. She’d just have to find a way to prove it and enter it into the divorce. She wanted to stick him where it hurt the most, and if she could humiliate him in the interim, all the better.

  She shut the light off on her nightstand and settled into her pillow for a good night’s sleep. She smiled as she recalled how Ray sounded on the phone. Yes, it would be quite a win for her; she could hardly wait.

  ~~~

  Ray took the girls out to dinner that night. They seemed more stressed than usual, but he decided not to comment on it. They were all under a ridiculous amount of stress, thanks to Carrie. He would ask them at dinner exactly how bad things were at their house.

  After they settled in front of their Chinese dinner, he asked how things were going at home.

  “Fine.”

  “Mom’s really bitchy.”

  “Ok.”

  Ray didn’t comment. “How’s the fridge looking?”

  Norma looked at her dad bemused. “Why do you care how the fridge looks? It looks the same as always; why Dad, do you miss it?”

  Ray couldn’t help but laugh. “No silly, I mean is it stocked?”

  “There’s food in it, yes. We go grocery shopping every week. Mom doesn’t cook like she used to, but that’s kind of a good thing.”

  They all laughed. Carrie was never a gourmet chef, or even a line cook for that matter.

  “You guys all okay with clothes and shoes?”

  Nikki spoke up. “I’m never okay with clothes and shoes, Dad. I could use some new ones if you’re offering.” She gave her dad a shit-eating grin. “Please?”

  Ray laughed. “No, I’m just trying to find out if any of you are lacking in anything because I’m gone.”

  Glenda, as the eldest, spoke up. “Dad, I know Mom is trying to make you feel guilty, like you’ve abandoned us and left us with nothing, but the truth is, it’s no different. We eat, we go to school, and we do our school activities, which as you know, are not cheap. Mom gives us money for movies, the mall, it’s no different. If anything, she gives us more than when you were around.”

  Nikki was quiet, but Norma put in her thoughts. “We miss you Dad, but we love our time with you. The house is quiet now without the yelling, although Mom still yells at us. We get the brunt of that now, but we just stay in our rooms when it gets bad. We’re glad that you aren’t being abused by her anymore.”

  Nikki cried. “I miss you, Daddy! It seems like Glenda and Norma don’t, but I do!” She laid her head on his shoulder. “But I do want you to be happy.”

  Ray fought back his own tears. “I’m sorry this is so tough. It’s tough on me too, and I miss you girls with all my heart. Some days I feel like I’ve made a mistake by leaving, but in reality, I left your Mom, not you. That I don’t regret. This will get better, I promise.” He put his arm around Nikki’s shoulder. “I’m still here for you and I promise I always will be.”

  “I’m happy with that, Daddy. I’m here for you too.”

  They finished their dinner chatting about less serious stuff, the girls catching him up on their lives.

  ~~~

  Amanda was restless at work today. She wasn’t concentrating as she should, and her mind wandered more than not. She had Ray on the brain. She couldn’t believe he actually wanted to meet. She wished she could talk about it with someone, but she knew what the reaction would be. She had to think it through on her own first, make her own decision, and then she’d start feeling people out. The word ’axe murderer’ flashed through her mind. She sighed; she would definitely be hearing a lot of that word in the future.

  Mariah came up and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped up out of her chair, stifling a scream.

  Mariah laughed. “What is up with you? Daydreaming?”

  Amanda laughed. “You scared me! Don’t do that, Mariah”

  “Sorry, but I said your name and you didn’t respond. I had to bring you back from wherever you were. Where were you, Maine?”

  She tried not to look guilty. “No.” She tried busying herself with the papers on her desk, shuffling them from one pile to another.

  “Okay, so you were in Maine, so what? What’s up with Ray lately?”

  She considered telling her for a minute, but decided against it. Not yet, not until she’s sure she wanted to go through with it.

  “He’s fine, trying to get through his divorce.”

  Mariah was stunned. “He’s still not divorced? Holy cow! How long does it take in Maine?”

  Amanda shrugged her shoulders. “She’s fighting it tooth and nail, so who knows?” She looked down at her fingernails, fighting the urge to cry. She then told Mariah the story of Dan, all the way to the part where he still hadn’t called.

  “Wow, Mandy, you’re definitely carrying a load. Why did you do that? That’s not like you.” Mariah looked at her friend with concern, “What are you afraid of?”

  “I don’t think I’m afraid of anything.” Amanda wasn’t sure she even believed that herself.

  “Come on, girl, spill it! What’s bothering you?”

  “Oh Mariah! It’s Ray! I want to meet him. I keep wondering if what we have via the Internet and phone is real. I won’t ever have a normal relationship until I get this out of my system. Even when I meet someone, Ray is always in the back of my mind. Like Dan, he was such a nice guy, but I just couldn’t let him in. Mariah, it’s driving me crazy!”

  “Crazy girl, go meet him then. Once and for all, meet Mr. Internet and see if he’s the man for you. But let me tell you one thing, if he turns out to be an axe murderer, you’re going to be in big trouble with me!” Mariah hugged her little friend. “Whatever it takes to make you happy Mandy, you do it”.

  Amanda was beside herself. “I can’t believe you’re advising me to meet Ray. This is great! Thanks Mariah. I’m going to do just that”.

  She drove home smiling from ear to ear. She was going to meet Ray. There were a few more obstacles to hurdle, like telling the kids and Hilary. She shuttered at the thought. There was also the fact of finding the money, but if Ray came to El Paso, that wouldn’t be an issue. Although, if, God forbid, he turned out to be an axe murderer, she didn’t want him to come and be around her kids. Her eyes widened as the thought hit her---she was going to Maine! She was going to cross the Mississippi. She’d never even been east of El Paso. She smiled to herself; this was going to be quite an adventure.

  ~~~

  Carrie wasn’t having a good day. Things were falling apart everywhere and she didn’t know how to fix them. Ray had always been the one to get her out of the predicaments that they faced on a daily basis. Right now, she was facing possible foreclosure. Her job wasn’t as stable as she’d hoped, and running the house was impossible. Today, they didn’t have hot water; she’d forgotten to send in the monthly payment. In fact, after checking this morning, she was behind on several things, the electric bill, the phone and the cable. She groaned out loud, not to mention the mortgage!

  This had all been what prompted her to make the call to Ray. She felt like an idiot now, begging him not to divorce her. She laughed, he probably thought she missed him and didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want to lose the paycheck! She didn’t want to have to worry about paying bills or bill collectors, or having things shut off. She wanted to be able to go shopping and not have to worry if she could afford it or not. She wanted Ray to handle all the headaches while she continued to live her life, not working, just playing and taking care of the girls.

  She’d called in sick today. She had to figure out how to get the hot water back on. The girls had been livid, and had threatened to call their dad. She told them that under no circumstance were they to tell their father, he’d have a field day. She’d threatened them with all that was dear to them if they told. They’d gone to school without showering, and very upset.

  Carrie wondered how her parents would feel helping her catch up the bills. Of c
ourse, that would mean a lot of lecturing and crying, and playing the poor me card, but in the end, they’d help her. Otherwise, they’d end up with them, and nobody wanted that! She decided she had no other choice and made another check list on her ‘why I hate Ray’ list.

  Chapter 29

  Ray had decided to walk to work this morning. The harsh Maine winter was almost over, and although it was still very cold, he could feel spring was just around the corner. The winter had been especially long this year. Being snowed in was never fun, but being snowed in alone was worse. He definitely had cabin fever and was glad the weather was calm enough for him to get out and get some fresh air.

  The holidays had been especially brutal. His first holiday without the kids had been horrible. They’d come over for Christmas Eve, along with his mother, and it had been nice enough, but very different from what they all were used to. Norma had cooked, they had opened gifts, which had been sparse this year, and they’d watched a movie. It had been uneventful, but in the past, the only ‘event’ had usually been Carrie having a fit about something or another. Holidays were very stressful for her, and they all had suffered because of it. So no, uneventful was better.

  The funny part was that he’d really missed Amanda. He didn’t even technically know her, but he kept wishing she were here with him. He wished he could be sharing everything with her; things would have been much easier. She’d talked him through his worse times, and had even surprised him with a gift in the mail. It was just a CD, but he loved it. He had saved it for Christmas morning, and it been his only gift that day. It amazed him how thoughtful and caring she was.

  Ray was out of breath as he reached his building, but he felt invigorated. It was a new year, and Ray was feeling optimistic today. His divorce would finally be over soon, he was going to meet Amanda, and things would start looking up. Things were going to be better; he just knew it! His goal here was to keep moving forward, and not to let things get him down, no matter how hard she tried.