Touch Me Not

by Apryl Baker

  “No,” she said after a moment. “We’re leaving.”

  “Lily, please…”

  “No, Adam, not today.” She turned to the other guys sitting at the table. “You guys seem all concerned about Nikoli, but he’s not the one you need to worry about. You want to do something for me? Then keep Adam the hell away from me and leave Nikoli alone.”

  Nikoli smirked at Boy Wonder, who looked pissed beyond belief. Good. He needed to be beaten for the mess he’d left Lily in last night, and from the looks around him, Adam had some explaining to do. He might just get that beating too.

  “So, where are we going that I don’t have time to change my clothes and put a bra on?”

  Nikoli’s attention snapped back to Lily, and he zeroed in on her chest. His eyes widened when he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra…why had he not noticed this before?

  “And stop staring at my boobs.” Her laughter bubbled up and spilled out as she started walking toward the door.

  “How about I stare at your ass instead?” he called, and she shook her head. He didn’t have to look back to know the low growl came from Boy Wonder. “It’s a damn fine ass.”

  Luther caught up to him. “Do you have a death wish?”

  “They’ll get over it.”

  “Where are you guys heading?” Luther asked, following them outside.

  “To pick up the Mach 1.”

  “You’re taking Lily? In her pajamas?”

  Nikoli grinned. “She wants to drive, so I’m letting her drive…just not my baby.”

  “She’s driving the Mach 1 back?” Luther asked, eyes wide. “What if she wrecks? Totals it?”

  “Then she does. It’s just a car.”

  “Just a car?” Luther shouted. “It’s a Mach 1!”

  Nikoli stopped walking, seeing Lily staring at them curiously. He couldn’t afford to screw this up. “Lily’s not going to total the car. Her dad was Martin Holmes. She probably drives better than either of us.”

  “That’s not the point,” Luther argued.

  “Look, man. I get that you usually drive them back, but just this once, trust me, okay? You can drive it all day tomorrow. Hell, once the race is over, you can have it for your own baby. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you were salivating over the online images yesterday.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” Luther grumbled, but Nikoli caught the gleam in his eye. Luther wanted that Mach 1 in a bad, bad way.

  “So where are we going?” Lily yawned when Nikoli reached her. She looked cute. Strange that he’d think of this woman as cute, but he did. To him, women were hot or sexy, but never cute. He snorted. It sounded cliché, even to him.

  “You up for some driving?”

  “You’re going to let me drive your car?” Lily asked, her eyes wide and excited.

  “No, you’re not driving Ellie, but you can drive the Mach 1 we’re going to pick up.”

  “Really?” she asked, squealing like a girl.

  “Really. We just need to swing by your dorm and pick up your license.”

  “I can change my clothes…” She trailed off when he started shaking his head. “Why not?”

  “Because I want you comfortable with me, Lily,” he told her. “We’re going to be spending all day in the car, so I want you relaxed. Those penguin pajama bottoms of yours should do the trick.”

  She made a face at him, but didn’t argue as they piled into his car. Her fingers started gently running over the leather seats the minute she got in. He stared at them, imagining her running them over his skin. Maybe being in the car with her all day wasn’t such a good idea.

  No, he decided a few minutes later when she hopped out and flew up the front stairs of her dorm, his eyes following her ass. It wasn’t such a good idea at all.

  Chapter Eleven

  “So, what are your brothers’ names?” Lily asked curiously. She hadn’t been thrilled with the idea of spending all day alone with Nikoli trapped in a car, but the bribe of driving a Mach 1? So worth it.

  “Kade is the oldest,” he replied, focused on the road. “Dimitri, Viktor, Connor, then me, and Callum is the youngest at twenty.”

  “Six boys?” she said. “I bet your mama had her hands full.”

  “You’ve no idea. If one of us wasn’t bleeding all over her floor, then we were all fighting. She has this look that could make us all feel both embarrassed and ashamed in a heartbeat.”

  “I think all mothers have that look.” Her own mother certainly did. She’d used it when Lily announced her plans to move to Boston for college.

  “How about you?” Nikoli asked. “Do you have any other brothers or sisters?”

  Lily nodded. “Mom remarried when Laney and I were fourteen.”

  “You were twins?” Nikoli interrupted.

  “Yeah. Identical.” They couldn’t have been more different, though. Laney hated the racetrack, hated cars in general. She’d have rather stayed home and helped Mom with whatever. Lily grew up on the racetrack, Laney grew up shopping and learning to be the future prom queen. No matter how different they were, though, they were also the same. Laney loved Lily more than anything in the world, and Lily felt the same. She still felt empty inside, like a piece of her was missing without her twin. Sometimes it was a physical ache that hurt so bad, she had to lie down until it passed. “So, back to your question. I have a little brother and sister. Twins again. They run in my mom’s family. Mia and Mitchell.”

  “Does your fear apply to them too?” Nikoli asked softly.

  Lily sighed. She wished to God she could say no. They were babies and didn’t understand why she wouldn’t play with them or hold them, or even kiss them. She loved them to death, but she couldn’t physically show it.

  “I’m guessing that’s a yes?” At her nod, he said, “Well, we’ll fix that soon enough, Lily Bells.”

  “Tell me about growing up in Russia.” She needed to get off this line of questioning. It was making her nervous. Just talking about her psychosis made her neurotic sometimes. She wanted to enjoy the day, not slump into a depression.

  “I’ll tell you all about Russia if you do one thing for me.” Nikoli’s even and calm tone put Lily’s defenses on red alert. He was up to something.

  “What?” she asked suspiciously.

  Nikoli laughed. “Don’t look at me like I’ve just asked you to commit felony murder. It’s something simple.”

  “What?” she asked again, suspecting it was something worse than felony murder.

  “I want you to touch me.”

  She stared at him. He kept his eyes on the road. He wanted her to touch him?

  “You can poke my arm with your finger if you want,” he offered, keeping his tone light.

  “Why?”

  “Because Lily, you have to be comfortable with me…”

  “And you think I’m going to get there by you forcing me to do something I don’t want to do?” Her voice sounded shrill even to her, but she couldn’t help it. She was already starting to panic just thinking about it.

  “I’m not forcing you,” he said calmly. “You want to hear about Russia, I want you to touch me. It’s a fair trade. If you can’t do it, then we’ll talk about something else.”

  Lily took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She closed her eyes and counted to twenty like one therapist had taught her to do. This was what she’d asked him to help her with, to help her learn to tolerate someone’s touch. Nikoli was even giving her the control, letting her touch him. Could she do it?

  Fingertips ran down her arm from shoulder to hand, and she flinched away from them. Her eyes snapped open and she looked at Nikoli, but his eyes were still fixed on the road. “Sneak attack?” she spat. How dare he? He’d said she could touch him, and here he went and took that little bit of control away.

  He grinned. “Yup.”

  Bastard.

  “Choice is yours, Lily Bells,” Nikoli said. “We can talk about Russia, or you can tell me about growing up on the racetrack.”


  “Why don’t you tell me something else about yourself instead?” she asked. Russia would have to wait. She wasn’t ready to touch him yet. It was too soon.

  “Nope. You want to know something about me, you know the price.”

  She gasped. “You…you…you…”

  He reached over and hovered a finger in front of her lips, not touching her, but she got the point. “Uh-uh, Milaya. If you want to know something about me, it’s going to cost you. A simple touch. That’s all. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready, but that’s the price of asking me questions about myself.”

  Bastard.

  “Be pissed all you want, Lily, but those are the rules.”

  “I thought you said we’d do this with patience.” She glared. He said one thing, but did another. What the ever-loving hell?

  “I’m being very patient, Lily.” His black eyes swung her way, and she stopped breathing for a moment. She could see the blind lust in them. “Your version of patience and mine are two entirely different things. If I did what I wanted, I’d stop the car and take you right here, right now, but I’m not doing that, am I? Instead, I’m giving you options.”

  “Options?” she nearly choked out. “I don’t call those options, more like hostage negotiations.”

  He laughed. “Hostage negotiations? Well, now, milka, I think I can do that if you’d prefer. It’s just as easy to tie you up and touch you. I’d like it too.”

  “I don’t even know what to say to that,” she squeaked.

  His grin was downright evil. “When we do that, Milaya, talking will be the last thing on your mind.”

  “You think I’d let you tie me up?” She gave him an are-you-out-of-your-mind look.

  “Yes, Lily,” he said, turning his attention back to the road. “You are going to let me do just that. Not yet, but soon enough.”

  “You’re insane if you think I’d ever agree to that.”

  “We’ll see.” He smiled. “Are you hungry yet? It’s almost noon, and we still have another hour to go before we get to Windham.”

  She was hungry, and her stomach rumbled at the mention of food. Nikoli laughed and pulled into a diner of some sort. She hadn’t even realized they were in a town. “Where are we?” she asked as they went in.

  “We’re in Norwalk. At least that’s what the GPS said. Weren’t you paying attention to it?”

  He could ask her that after his nonsense in the car? She shook her head, but followed the waitress to a booth in the back. It was a charming little place, seaside themed, but then again, they were near the coast. The waitress took their drink orders and left them to look at the menu.

  “What are you frowning at?” Nikoli asked. She’d been glaring at the menu for the last few minutes.

  “Do you think they have fresh fish or frozen?”

  “We’re in Massachusetts, Lily, they have fresh fish.”

  “Ohmygosh, don’t you ever watch Kitchen Nightmares or Restaurant Impossible?”

  “Uh, no?”

  Her eyes widened. “They’re shows that tell you what really goes on behind the scenes in a restaurant. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen…”

  “Is that why you asked for no ice?” Nikoli grinned. She looked appalled he’d never seen the shows.

  “Yes! Do you know how many places don’t clean their ice machines? Have you ever seen what the bacteria looks like that grows when they don’t?”

  “Nope, not a clue.” Nikoli shifted, bringing his right foot up to sit beside her left leg on the seat.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, but before she could scoot, he moved his other foot, trapping her. He didn’t touch her, but he refused to let her move away from him.

  “Stretching my legs,” he said. “Three hours of driving and they need it.”

  “Well, then go take a walk or something, but move your feet.”

  “No.”

  “No?” she asked incredulously, and he chuckled. “This is not funny, Nikoli.”

  “I’d disagree. It’s about as funny as you calling me a manwhore in front of everyone this morning.”

  The poor waitress picked that minute to show up. Julie, as her nametag read, blushed as bright as a cherry and gave him a look he did not appreciate. “Are you…uh…um…ready to…order?”

  “Cheeseburger and fries,” Nikoli said, scowling at Lily. She was grinning from ear to ear. Damn woman. He was not a whore!

  “Is the fish fresh?” Lily asked, smirking at Nikoli.

  “Yes, of course. The owner gets it from the docks fresh every morning.”

  “Chowder then, thank you.” Lily smiled at her and handed over the menus. The girl nearly ran from the table. “Don’t blame me. That was all you, buster.”

  “You’re supposed to be helping me with my reputation, Lily Bells, not causing it further damage.”

  “Kinda hard to do when you blurt out things worse than a girl.”

  Nikoli’s mouth fell open, and Lily burst out laughing. He was going to wring her neck yet.

  “Are you going to move your feet?” she asked again.

  “No.” She frowned, and he shifted both feet closer to her. He still wasn’t touching any part of her, but she started to fidget. He was hoping she’d get the nerve to push his feet away from her. It would force her to touch him. That first touch was going to be the hardest. He wanted it out of the way quickly. It was like the first time you rode your bike without training wheels. You knew you were going to fall, it was inevitable, but once you did, you got up, got back on, and took off again. That first fall was the hardest, but once you knew what was coming, you were okay with it. She would be okay once she got over that initial contact.

  “Why the hell not?” she demanded.

  “Because I like you trapped,” he purred. “It makes me happy.”

  “Do I look like I care if your perverseness makes you happy or not?” she snapped. “I’m not happy, so move your damn feet.”

  “Nope, you have to make me move.” Before she could argue, he interrupted her. “So, about this bet I never agreed to…”

  “What about it?” She wasn’t even looking at him, she was staring at his foot.

  “What in God’s name gave you the idea I’d ever put my car up for a wager?”

  “Afraid of a little bet, Kincaid?” She looked up and smiled, really smiled, and Nikoli felt his insides twist a bit. She was gorgeous when she smiled. He’d seen her laughing and smiling, but not like this. It was genuine and happy.

  “No, I’m not, dushka, but you should be.” He leaned across the table, invading her personal space. “Do you really think I’d ever lose my car in a bet, especially a bet about sex?”

  “I told you not to call me that,” she whispered, pushing herself back against the seat and as far from him as she could get. Luckily, that was only a few inches.

  Her tongue darted out and wet her lips. His eyes followed the movement, and he felt himself growing hard imagining what that tongue would feel like against his skin. “You smell like vanilla, Lily. It reminds me of sugar cookies. Would you taste like warm vanilla sugar cookies, Milaya?”

  “Uh, Nikoli,” she whispered, drawing in a ragged breath. “You’re eyes are getting darker.”

  “Mmm,” he said, pushing himself closer to her. “Do you know why, Lily?”

  She shook her head, and he smiled the smile guaranteed to get a woman out of her clothes. “It’s because I’m imagining all the things I could get you to do with that lovely little tongue of yours.”

  Lily’s eyes widened and her breathing sped up. Nikoli pressed closer, his own mouth a hair’s breadth from hers. “Would you like to do that, Lily?”

  Someone cleared their throat and Nikoli was forced to look up. Their waitress stood there, holding their plates. He groaned, frustrated, but moved back so she could put the plates down. Her hands were a little shaky when she pulled them back. Lily took one look at her and blinked. He watched all the progress he’d made in the last few minutes slip
away as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were wary, watchful.

  Frustration welled up, but Nikoli refused to show it. Instead, he smiled lazily up at the waitress. “Thank you, Julie.”

  “You’re…ah…welcome.” Julie turned and walked away, glancing back several times. Lily made some kind of disgusted noise, but Nikoli ignored her. He picked up a fry and dipped it in ketchup. “So, now back to this bet…”

  “The bet stands,” Lily said between bites of chowder, “unless, of course, you’re afraid you’ll lose.” Lily worked hard to keep her tone even. Nikoli had gotten to her for a minute there. She’d even wanted him to touch her, and that made her nervous. Confused too. She’d gone so long without someone’s touch, it made no sense to her that she craved his. She couldn’t let him see just how much he affected her.

  “We’ve already established I’m not afraid of losing,” Nikoli countered. “Where did that particular little idea come from? It’s not something we talked about last night.”

  “You want people to think we’re dating, don’t you?”

  He nodded.

  “Then I had to find a way to make them believe I’d ever date you.”

  “What’s wrong with dating me?” he asked, putting his burger back down. He looked so outraged, Lily couldn’t help but giggle. An honest to God giggle. She was not a girl who giggled, but Nikoli brought it out in her. Not even Adam could make her so much as think about giggling.

  “You’re not exactly dating material,” Lily said, laughing as his face became even more outraged.

  “Why the hell not?” he demanded. “No one’s ever complained before.”

  “Nikoli, you’re gorgeous, sexy, and every girl’s fantasy, but no girl would date you.”

  He growled, his feet inching closer. She glanced down nervously, but her eyes shot back up when a fry hit her in the face. He did not! “You really want to start a food fight when I have clam chowder to throw at you?”

  “Explain why no girl would date me.” His tone was clipped and hard. Ohh, she’d hit a nerve! Good. The man needed taken down a peg or two.

  “You’re the bucket list guy,” she told him. “You’re the guy every girl wants to sleep with just once, but that’s it. Oh, you’ll get those who think they can change you, but we know deep down, you’re a one night stand kind of guy. You’ve got commitment issues.”