Touch Me Not

by Apryl Baker

  Wow. Lily hadn’t expected that. Or that he’d be so Zen about it either. “That’s cool your family supports his choice.”

  “I didn’t say that,” he said, a wry smile decorating his face. “My brothers and I are close, and while all of us may not agree with his choices, we do support it. My parents and my grandparents? They were all raised Catholic, and if they knew about Conner’s choice of partners, they wouldn’t be so happy.”

  “I know you said you supported him, but how do you feel about it?” She was curious. He’d sounded so outraged when she’d accused him of being bisexual.

  “He’s my brother,” he said after a minute. “I want him to be happy, and it doesn’t matter to me who he’s with, as long as he’s happy. Right now he’s in a relationship with a girl, but who knows, a couple months from now he might be banging some dude. What do I care, as long as my brother is happy?”

  Here was another facet to the manwhore she never suspected might exist buried under that fuck you attitude. He just kept surprising her.

  The smile that broke across Lily’s face made him stop breathing. Her entire face lit up like an angel shining her grace upon him.

  “So back to Joe,” she said, her smile still in place. “Where did you two meet? Here at the restaurant?”

  “No, I met him at Bastian’s,” he continued. “It’s a sex club.”

  She didn’t looked shocked at that, which irritated him.

  “Joe saw that I needed control in sexual situations, but back then, I wasn’t so good at it. I fumbled a lot. Joe took me under his wing and taught me how to have that control and still make sure the woman came out as satisfied as I was.”

  “So, what he and you…” She trailed off and wiggled her eyebrows at him.

  “No!” he hissed. “I’m not into men. I already told you that. They don’t do a thing for me.”

  “So then what did he do exactly?”

  “He and I shared women,” Nikoli told her. “He showed me how to control the situation, how to be the person I am in the bedroom today. He showed me how to be dominant and gain submission. Some of the things we’ve seen at Bastian’s…” He shook his head, disgusted. “Neither Joe or I are into pain. I mean some people are, and that’s fine if that is what they need, but I would never hurt a woman. It gives me no pleasure. It’s why Joe decided to help me. He saw that I was struggling with how to be dominant without hurting someone. We’ve been friends since that first night, but we’ve been like brothers for a long time.”

  “Ah, here is my beautiful girl,” Joe’s voice interrupted them. “Now, tell me, what has Nikoli done to cause my girl to cry?”

  Lily looked up to see the concern and the anger in Joe’s face. She wondered what was going through his head. He seemed so upset she’d been crying. She and Nikoli had been in together several times over the last few weeks, and Joe had taken to calling her his girl. It always rankled Nikoli, and now she was beginning to see why. They’d shared women before. What did that say about his feelings for her? Did he even have any?

  “Nikoli didn’t do anything,” she said. “I was upset about something, and he made it better.”

  “A soul as beautiful as yours should never have cause to cry,” Joe told her, smiling. A low growl emanated from Nikoli, which he ignored. “Anyone who would hurt you will answer to me.”

  “That’s my job, Joe.” Nikoli’s voice came out low, hard, and cold.

  “And did whomever did this answer for it?” Joe turned his attention to Nikoli.

  “Yes.”

  That one simple word satisfied Joe, and his smile returned. “Bueno. Now, I have a special today, something that isn’t on the menu normally. Would you like to try it?”

  “What is it?” Nikoli asked suspiciously, which caused Joe to burst out laughing.

  “The last time I convinced him to try something, it burnt his mouth so badly, he drank three gallons of water,” Joe explained when he saw Lily staring at them curiously. “He doesn’t trust me now.”

  “So what are you wanting us to try?” she asked, smiling at Nikoli’s disgruntled expression.

  “Es estofado de carne.”

  “Beef stew?” she asked.

  “Well, it’s more complicated than a simple beef stew.” Joe winked. “Think beef stew, but Cuban style.”

  “Bring it on.” She laughed. “I’m willing to try it.”

  “Excelente.” Joe grinned. “I’ll bring you both a bowl of it.”

  Nikoli muttered something Lily didn’t quite catch, but it made her laugh, which earned her a glare. She smiled all the more at his exasperated expression. She was feeling more like herself now. Her muscles had relaxed, and she wasn’t ready to run screaming for the door. Nikoli had kept his word too. He hadn’t attempted to touch her in any way. He never lied to her. Maybe that was part of why she trusted him, part of why she never had a panic attack when he touched her. It was weird, and she didn’t really understand it, but as Adam always said, it was what it was.

  “So, Luther said you guys were gonna work on the Mach 1 this week. Your race is coming up soon, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it’s about a month away. It doesn’t need much work, but we want to modify the engine just a little more than it is.”

  “Do you want some help?”

  Nikoli’s eyes snapped up and he saw her smiling at him. Was she serious?

  “You really want to get all dirty and greasy?” he asked.

  She laughed. “I’m more comfortable under the hood of a car than anywhere else. My dad taught me, and I just kept learning even after he died. Adam has had enough junkers over the years to keep me on my game.”

  Nikoli grinned at the image of Lily under the hood of his car, her ass sticking out for him to admire. He started to get ideas about lessons he could teach her involving his car.

  “Love to have you help,” he said with a grin that had her narrowing her eyes. Before she could say anything, Joe brought their food. He set it down with a wink. “I also brought a carafe of cold milk just in case it’s too hot for Niki boy there.”

  Lily snickered, and Nikoli gave her a menacing look. His mouth was not meant to be scorched so bad all his taste buds were burned off. “Go ahead. Take a bite, dushka.”

  “How many times do I need to tell you not to call me that?” she asked, irritated.

  He only nodded toward the bowl of soup. It smelled delicious, but he knew better. He could see the chilis floating in it.

  She scooped up a bite and shoved it in her mouth. He watched her for the first signs of the hot chilis assaulting her tongue, but she only closed her eyes as a look of intense pleasure came over her. His eyes widened when she took another spoonful into her mouth and said, “Mmmmm…this is delicious, Joe.”

  Nikoli frowned and took a bite of the rich stew himself. It was delicious, but no sooner had he swallowed than the fire ripped through his mouth. He glanced at Lily and saw her taking another bite. She hadn’t touched her drink or her milk. He turned a suspicious look on Joe. Had the man added more chilies to his bowl than he had Lily’s?

  “Something wrong, Nikoli?” Lily looked up and watched him curiously.

  He shook his head, refusing to admit he couldn’t handle the stew when Lily was scooping the shit up like it was ice cream. His brothers would never let him live it down if they found out about this. Damn Joe and his spicy Cuban food.

  Once Joe left, Nikoli took a small sip of the cold milk. Lily picked up her glass of cherry Dr. Pepper. Nikoli had asked Joe to stock it for her, and the man had complied readily. Lily ate here a lot, more than even Nikoli did.

  “So now, my little prude,” Nikoli said, deciding to rankle her, “where did you learn to dance like that?”

  She wrinkled her nose at him. She hated the word prude as much as she did dushka. If she only knew it meant sweetheart. He suppressed a grin.

  “Watching music videos,” she told him. “I spent hours in my room growing up, and I danced and sang along to my favorite bands and
singers.”

  He could just imagine her dancing around in her room with a hairbrush while she belted out whatever song she listened to. It was definitely something she’d do.

  “You’re really good.”

  She shrugged. “I’m all right. You’re not eating your food.”

  “I’m not really hungry. I wanted to feed you. Food relaxes you.”

  “It does not.”

  He laughed. “Yes, Lily Bells, it does. Don’t look so horrified. I love watching you eat.” He held up his hand before she could spew whatever was forming on her lips. “It’s not what you think. No fat jokes. You savor food like you do life. It makes you happy, and anyone around you can see it. Here, you can have the rest of mine. You ate every drop of yours.”

  She frowned, but didn’t refuse. He figured the girl had a hell of a metabolism. She didn’t eat a lot, she just ate at odd times. She took a bite of his food and her eyes widened. He watched sweat break out across her forehead, and she reached blindly for something to drink. He handed her the milk, and she gulped the entire glass down at once.

  “What the hell is in that?” she gasped once she could talk.

  “I knew it,” Nikoli growled. “The bastard. He filled mine with extra chilis.”

  “Is he trying to kill you?”

  “His idea of a joke.” He knew something was off. Joe was nowhere to be seen either. Bastard. “Are you ready to go?”

  She nodded and reached over to grab Nikoli’s milk while he got the check. Her mouth was on fire and tears burned her eyes. She’d never eaten anything so hot in her life. When Nikoli stood up, she followed him to his car and tried to think if she had anything to drink in the dorm. She needn’t have worried, though. He stopped at a convenience store and got them both a gallon of milk, saying it took an entire gallon to calm his mouth down the last time Joe pulled that stunt.

  When he pulled up to her dorm, he didn’t try to kiss her or even touch her. He’d kept his word all night and had been a true gentleman. Maybe she was more than attracted to Nikoli. Rebekha had made her think about him and her relationship with Adam in an entirely new light. What was she going to do about this man and the things she was starting to feel for him?

  She still had no answer three hours later when she finally fell asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next two weeks flew by for Lily. Her classes this year were harder, and she found herself struggling to find time for much of anything outside of studying. When she wasn’t in class or tutoring, she was with Nikoli. Which still felt a little odd, only because she found she liked spending time with him. The manwhore was interesting, funny, and she found herself becoming as comfortable with him as she was with Adam and Mike. Nikoli said she would, and she was getting there. He never pushed her too far, gave her breathing room when she panicked, and they talked shop for hours. Cars were her thing, and he was the first guy who got how much she adored them. Nikoli was as big a car junkie as she was.

  Not that she’d ever admit anything to Nikoli. Give him an inch and he’d take a hundred miles. No need to inflate his already oversized ego. He wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d pegged him for, though. He had a very sweet and caring side he didn’t show to everyone else. Said it was bad for his reputation. Lily was constantly reevaluating her opinion of him. It irked her too. She preferred him the slutty manwhore who only cared about himself. Nikoli wasn’t as selfish as she’d thought. He was almost a great guy when he wasn’t around other people. Almost. His ego kept getting in the way.

  She was just glad she had some time to hang out with her friends. Mike had asked her to come help him and Adam with a bit of a situation online. They were all huge gamers, Halo being a specialty of theirs. It seemed that a team of guys had been destroying Mike and Adam when they played online, especially in the tournaments. Lily was a better shot than either of them, and Mike had begged her to come play today so they could get some payback. Luther was there too. He’d been a victim of the bullies as well. Seriously, a group of eleven guys teaming up against one or two people was not all fair.

  The guys had moved the coffee table out of the way and set up shop in the main room. She and Mike had sat down in front of the couch, on a blanket she’d brought, while Luther sat on Lily’s left. Adam sat in the chair that flanked the couch next to Mike. Lily was still barely talking to him, but Adam had learned if he kept his mouth shut, she wouldn’t leave. He’d kept trying to explain himself, and Lily didn’t want to hear it. He’d hurt her a lot, and he knew it. She needed time, and he’d finally realized that. The episode at Nikoli’s apartment had shown him that more than anything.

  They’d spent the first hour running around like lunatics so she could get a feel for how the other team played. They went out and just killed. Sheer brute force in numbers. Lily smiled as she watched from her hidey hole. The first one was coming into her line of fire. She let him pass, though. She wanted to see how many traveled in the smaller packs. Three more brought up his flank. She’d been tracking their movements for the last twenty minutes. She was in her favorite spot, completely hidden. Before they even realized what hit them, she’d have half of them taken out.

  Nikoli grabbed a beer out of the fridge and went looking for everyone. Luther had texted him earlier to say he was at Boy Wonder’s frat house with Lily. They were doing some kind of online tournament. He’d known she was a gamer, but had no idea she was a tournament player. He should know by now not to be shocked by anything when it came to Lily Bells. She constantly surprised him. It was refreshing, and it scared the hell out of him. She mattered to him without even trying. He couldn’t let this go on for much longer or he was going to be a situation that would cause them both a lot of pain. The thought of losing her, though, it made his stomach hurt. What the hell was he going to do?

  He couldn’t stop the smile from flashing across his face when he spotted her sitting on the floor, eyes on the screen, barking orders at Mike and Luther. She was so focused on the game, she wasn’t paying attention to anything else, and it gave him a minute to watch her. He found he loved watching her. Her face was one of the most expressive he’d ever seen. She never hid anything. It wasn’t who she was. What you saw with Lily was what you got. She didn’t pretend, and she didn’t play games with people. Again, something Nikoli wasn’t used to, and he found it fascinating.

  She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes, and Nikoli glanced at the TV screen. Three guys were going past where she was hiding, and he watched as she took them out one by one with single shots. His eyebrows shot up when three more came running, and she took them down as soon as they appeared. He laughed. She was a sneaky little thing. Luther and Mikey cheered, which earned them each a glare, and they both quieted back down and started hunting.

  Chuckling at their obvious scolding, Nikoli looked around for a seat. Lily and Mike were sprawled in front of the couch. Luther sat on Lily’s right and Boy Wonder was across from Mike. No place to sit…an idea began to form. Oh, Lily Bells was gonna hurt him later, but it would be worth it. She’d gotten so much better at letting him touch her. She didn’t flinch anymore and had gotten in the habit of touching him as well. Granted, she wasn’t anywhere near where he wanted her, but he was thrilled with her progress.

  He kicked off his shoes and then climbed over the back of the couch, his legs coming to rest on either side of Lily. She was so focused on her game, she didn’t even notice. Slowly, he brought his legs in so they were resting against her, and to his delight, she leaned back against the couch, resting against him as she took two more opponents down. Mike and Adam stared, shocked. He simply stared back. After a minute, Mike nodded to him and turned back to the game, but Adam’s stare turned into something like hate. Nikoli grinned at Boy Wonder, which only pissed Adam off more. Small pleasures in life.

  “How many are left?” Mike asked, his shot missing his target. He had to dive for cover, and Luther backed him up, taking the guy out. “Thanks, man.”

  “Four,” Lily answered abs
ently as she inched along a covered ravine. “Don’t bunch up. You’re giving them two for the price of one.”

  Mike obediently split from Luther. Lily crouched and waited. “Mikey, pull them this way. I have a shot from here.”

  “What? Why me?”

  “It’s your turn to be bait,” Adam said, his voice low and rough, causing Lily to glance up at him. His glare was hot enough to melt icebergs. Frowning, she started to turn to look toward Nikoli.

  Nikoli was aware the moment she realized she was trapped between his legs. She went completely still. He didn’t let her retreat. Instead, he pressed his legs against her arms and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head. Softly, so only she could hear, he said, “Easy, Milaya, you’re fine.”

  Lily let out a long breath and he could feel her entire body relax. It took her a moment, but she did it, and he couldn’t have been more proud of her. “Good girl,” he whispered and nuzzled his nose in her hair. She always smelled so good, like strawberries and vanilla.

  “Mike, you’ve got one coming up on your six,” she said, her voice a little breathy. “If you don’t move, you’re gonna get shot, and then I’ll have to beat you.”

  Nikoli laughed and settled back to watch the game. Lily was good, more than good. She impressed the hell out of him as she took down two more from angles she shouldn’t have been able to make. He might let her play their current zombie project. He needed a beta tester for the weapons. His thought process froze. Did he actually just consider telling her about his gaming business? He’d never told any woman about his business. It invited trouble. He’d learned that lesson a long time ago.

  “Man, your girlfriend is a badass,” Luther said, watching Lily. It was only a second before he realized what he’d said and turned wide eyes to Nikoli. Luther looked horrified and regretful all at once. Nik knew Luther adored Lily and was afraid Nik would say something to hurt her. Nor had he meant to put Nikoli on the spot.

  Lily wasn’t paying attention. Her sole focus was on the game, but everyone else in the room, including the other guys who had come in to watch, were all staring at him. Everyone knew Nikoli wasn’t a girlfriend kind of guy, and while he and Lily had spent the last several weeks together, he’d never specifically called her his girlfriend. He glanced down at the top of her head and found he couldn’t say she wasn’t. It was odd, really. He tried to say the words, but they just wouldn’t roll off his tongue. Dammit. He was in so much fucking trouble.