Touch Me Not

by Apryl Baker

  “Sleepy?” Adam laughed. “You’ve been asleep for almost five days, Lils.”

  “Five days?” she gasped. No way!

  “Yeah, you had some pretty serious injuries, and then there was a complication.” He glanced over at Nikoli, and he nodded. “You had some bleeding in your brain and they had to relieve it almost right after your first surgery. You scared the hell out of us.”

  No wonder she had such a horrible headache.

  “You mom and my parents are here. Don’t be shocked when they show up later today,” Adam warned her. “I’m going to try and keep them from visiting until tomorrow, but there’s no way your mom is staying away. We had to strong-arm her to get her to go to the hotel and get some sleep.”

  She gave Adam a once over and noticed his clothes were as rumpled as Nikoli’s, and he hadn’t shaved in a couple days either, by the looks of it. Had they both been here the entire time?

  “She needs to sleep,” Nikoli said. “Now that she’s awake and talking, why don’t you head home and get some sleep yourself?”

  “That’s not a bad idea. I need a shower too. Want me to bring you dinner back?”

  Nikoli nodded, and Lily glanced between the two of them, nonplussed. Had she died and gone to some remote region of hell, perhaps?

  Adam laughed at the confusion on her face. “Don’t worry, Lils, Kincaid and I came to an understanding. We’re all good.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Get some rest, and I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll call your mom too.”

  Nikoli nodded to him and then dragged the chair closer to the bed and sat down. He stared at her, not saying a word. There were so many emotions flickering in his eyes, it was hard to define them all.

  “I’m sorry, Milaya,” he said after a long moment. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault someone attacked me, Nikoli.”

  “Yes, it is. If I wasn’t such a stupid ass, you would never have been put in that position. You wouldn’t have walked in on me and then run out so that bastard could take you.”

  She sighed and started to say something, but he put a finger to her lips.

  “Quiet, Milaya,” he said, his voice deep and gruff. “When I saw your face that night…God, it cut through me, and I realized then what a selfish bastard I was.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I lied to you, Lily, when I said I didn’t love you. I do. More than my own life, but I was so scared when you told me in Miami. I kept thinking of the girl who’d broken my heart before, and I couldn’t do that to myself again. So I lied.”

  He lied? A flutter of hope sprang to life inside of her, but then she remembered all the women he’d been with since they broke up. “Nikoli…the last month…all the women…”

  “Not a damn thing happened,” he swore. “I tried, Milaya. Trust me, I tried hard to forget you, but I couldn’t. I kept seeing your eyes, all broken and haunted. That girl you found me with? She was my last ditch effort to try and be the old me, but I couldn’t. I was about to take her back downstairs when you walked in. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth, Lily. You’ve seen me with girls, but how many have you heard talking about fucking me?”

  She thought back over the last month, and she’d heard rumors he’d been playing hard to get and it was driving the girls insane, but she couldn’t think of a single person who claimed to have slept with him.

  “I love you, Lily Isabella Holmes. I fucked up and let you walk away once, and I’m not doing it again. I’m an ass, but I’m an ass who loves you. Will you forgive me, Lily? Will you forgive all the hurt I caused us both and marry me?”

  Marry him?

  “I swear to all that’s holy, Milaya, I will spend every damn day for the rest of our lives making it up to you if you’ll forgive me. I promised God I’d take care of you if he’d give you back to me. You’ll never know the hell I went through when I found your phone lying there on the sidewalk, and the blood…God, Lily, I almost lost it. Then when I saw that car flip with you in it, I almost died myself.”

  He reached down and grabbed her hand. “Please, dushka, forgive me. I’m so fucking sorry, Lily. Give me a second chance? Please?”

  Lily stared at him, shocked and dazed. She’d heard nothing but blah, blah, blah after the words marry me. He’d really asked her to marry him? Hope refused to be pushed down again as she gazed into his onyx eyes. They were open and honest, full of pain, regret, and love.

  Could she forgive him for everything he’d done? He’d broken her so badly. He’d healed the damaged person she’d been, only to break her into a million tiny pieces that were still sobbing on Janet’s bathroom floor.

  “Nikoli,” she said softly. “You don’t understand what you did to me, what I went through…”

  “Jan told me,” he said just as softly. “I’m sorry, Lily. I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I am truly and deeply sorry, and I will never hurt you like that again. I swear it.”

  Could she trust him again? She loved him so much, her very soul ached without him, but could she go through that again if he decided he didn’t want her? Her mind shied away from the thought of that pain, the pain that still sometimes woke her up in the middle of the night, and she’d cry until she went to sleep. The only person who could fix the broken mess she was sat staring at her, his heart in his eyes. She took a chance once, and she’d take it again, even given what happened, because she would never regret Nikoli Kincaid. He was her heart and her soul.

  “What does dushka mean?” she asked instead of answering right away.

  “It means sweetheart.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “I’ve never called a girl sweetheart before. It’s why I’d never tell you what it meant. I didn’t want to explain it even to myself.”

  He’d been calling her sweetheart for months and she’d never even realized.

  “You’re killing me Lily.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bed. “Please say you forgive me.”

  “I forgive you, Nikoli.”

  He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss lightly on her palm. “Thank you, Milaya. I don’t deserve it, but thank you.”

  “No, you don’t deserve it,” she told him. “And you are a selfish bastard, and if you ever make me hurt like that again, I swear I will shoot you where you stand.”

  He chuckled. “You still haven’t answered my question yet, Lily Bells.”

  “I don’t know if I want to marry an ass or not,” she said, but there was no heat behind the words. She did want to marry him.

  “Yes, you do,” he countered, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

  “I do, do I?”

  “Uh-huh.” He nodded. “Who else is going to put up with your prudish tendencies?”

  “I am not a prude!”

  He gave her the patented Kincaid stare.

  “Well, if I’m a prude, then you’re a manwhore.”

  “Did we or did we not agree to never use that word again?”

  “As long as you continue to call me a prude, then I’ll call you a manwhore.”

  “I love you,” he said, laughing.

  “I’ll marry you, Kincaid, on one condition.”

  “What?”

  “I want your car.”

  “Ellie? You want Ellie?” He looked stricken, and Lily nearly laughed out loud.

  “Yes.”

  He got up and started to pace. “I can buy you any car you want, Lily Bells. Just name it and I’ll have it sitting in the hospital parking lot today.”

  “I want your car, Nikoli.”

  Nikoli took a deep breath and came over to sit on her bed. He leaned down until all she could see were his eyes. They were warm, and she could see the love in their dark depths. “If it means I get you, then fine, Milaya, you can have my car.”

  Her mouth dropped open. He’d give her the car? He loved that car…he loved her. He really loved her if he was willing to hand over the one thing he loved more than anything.

  “Well, how about
you just let me drive the car once in a while?”

  He grinned. “Is that a yes?”

  “Don’t you think it’s too soon, though?” she fretted as he leaned back. “We’ve only known each other a couple of months.”

  “My father married my mother a week after he met her. Kincaid men waste no time in staking a claim when it matters. I love you, Lily. Not for a week or a month or a year. I will love you when I’m old and gray, when I’m too senile to remember your name, but I’ll still remember that I love you. I don’t need months or years to know I want you to be my wife. You’re all I need, all I’ll ever need. Marry me, Lily. Please.”

  “Yes, Kincaid, I’ll marry you.”

  He leaned over and placed a butterfly kiss on her lips. “I love you, Lily.”

  “I love you too, Nikoli.”

  He smiled and kissed her softly once more, but her eyes were drooping shut.

  “Sleep, sweetheart, just sleep.”

  Epilogue

  The Christmas tree was a mess. They were all gathered at Adam’s family home for the holidays, and his mother had left them in charge of decorating it. She, Nikoli, Adam, and the twins were staring at the lopsided tree with both horror and awe. All the ornaments were on, the lights twinkled at them, but it was the Leaning Tower of Pine.

  “Maybe we should tie it to the wall?” Luther suggested.

  “You put a hole in my mother’s brand new living room, and she’ll shoot you,” Adam said. “Don’t think she won’t either. That woman has a mean streak wider than the Mississippi.”

  “That’s the God’s truth,” Lily said. “You remember when we brought snowballs in the house and they melted all over the hardwood?”

  Adam shuddered. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “It gives it character,” Nikoli said thoughtfully. “Kids, do you like it?”

  The twins jumped and down, their shouts of ‘yes’ all that Nikoli needed. “See? They love it. That’s all that matters.”

  Lily slipped an arm around him and laughed at his logic. She had no doubt as soon as the parents saw the Christmas tree nightmare, they’d make them redo it. Her mom loved Christmas, and it had to be just perfect. Her mother had swooped in like a hurricane and descended on the Christmas decoration bins like a tornado. Now the quaint farmhouse was decked to the nines and looked like they’d stepped into some kind of holiday showcase home.

  “Promise me you’ll never make us live in a place where Santa threw up,” Nikoli whispered in her ear, and she laughed out loud.

  “I never make promises I can’t keep,” she teased.

  He groaned.

  “Duct tape!” Adam shouted, and they both looked up, startled.

  “Duct tape?” Nikoli asked, staring at them like they’d lost their minds.

  “Duct tape fixes everything,” Lily said, and he looked down at her in amusement.

  “Well, it does,” she said defensively.

  Adam went running and came back a few minutes later with one of those heavy duty Command hooks and a roll of duct tape. He put the hook on the wall, and then wrapped duct tape around the trunk near where the tree started to lean, and then pulled until it was straight. Luther held it in place while Adam tied off the end of the tape to the hook. Then they maneuvered the tree so you couldn’t see the tape, and Nikoli burst out laughing. It had worked. The tree stood straight, and Adam looked like he was going to strut around the living room.

  He looked at Lily, and then Luther, and then his gaze took in Adam and the twins. One thing struck him. If he hadn’t met Lily, he’d be the same old Nikoli, spending Christmas at Luther’s, feeling like he was a third wheel. Instead, he had friends and family to spend the holiday with, and he owed it all to the woman wrapped around him. She’d made him whole and given him back his ability to love someone other than himself. She was his home, and would always be.

  Lily’s phone rang, and she pulled it out of her pocket. A small gasp escaped her, and he looked down at the screen. Suzie Daniels. It was her literary agent.

  “Hello?” she said. “You did? Really? How much? Wow. Merry Christmas to you too, Suzie, and thank you so much!”

  She ended the call and looked up. Her eyes were wide and excited. “Joanna sold my book to Simon and Schuster!”

  “Congratulations!” Adam grabbed her and swung her around. “You deserve it, Lils!”

  Luther took his turn next before Nikoli reclaimed her and planted a kiss on her mouth. “Congratulations, Milaya.”

  Adam started laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Nikoli demanded.

  “Ask her what the name of the book is,” he said, chortling.

  Nikoli quirked an eyebrow at her. “Well?”

  She shook her head and grinned. His eyes narrowed. “What is the name of the book, Lily?”

  It was Adam who answered.

  “Manwhore.”

  Lily burst out laughing and took off running.

  “Milaya!” he roared and chased after her, happier than he’d ever been in his life.

  The manwhore had found his peace at last.

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  There are so many people I have to thank. This book wasn’t one I thought I could write, as it’s a romance novel, but you guys pushed me, and I did it. So thank you to everyone who made me leave my comfort zone and write something so unfamiliar, but so endearing to my heart as well.

  Jennifer Hewitt deserves a big thank you for all she has done for me this year. She has been such a huge help to me with social media and just telling the honest to God truth when my writing sucks and gives me ideas on how to fix it. I don’t know what I’d do without you! You are a blessing, my friend. This novel would not be where it is right now without her listening to me, reading, and complaining until I fixed it. Gracias, chica!

  As always, a huge shout out to my girls, Ang, Susan, and Delsheree. Without your help, this book would still be collecting dust in the WIP folder. You gave me so much help in the beginning of this endeavor. So, thank you, ladies.

  I have to say thank you to my friend Layth. You showed me how to be silly again and gave me back my laughter. Thank you for being my friend. I'm glad I met you, and despite your asshat gene, I still love you.

  Thanks to everyone at Limitless for being so patient with me while I struggled with this. You guys rock.

  My editor, Lori, has had to put up with me during this process and I know she’s had to count to ten a few times, so thank you for all the hard work you do and for putting up with me.

  Huge shout out to my family for putting up with me when I write and forget the rest of the world exists.

  Last, but not least, thank you to all my wonderful readers. You guys are why I write, and I just want you to know how grateful I am for your support. Thank you all so much.

  About the Author

  So who am I? Well, I’m the crazy girl with an imagination that never shuts up. I LOVE scary movies. My friends laugh at me when I scare myself watching them and tell me to stop watching them, but who doesn’t love to get scared? I grew up in a small town nestled in the southern mountains of West Virginia where I spent days roaming around in the woods, climbing trees, and causing general mayhem. Nights I would stay up reading Nancy Drew by flashlight under the covers until my parents yelled at me to go to sleep.

  Growing up in a small town, I learned a lot of values and morals, I also learned parents have spies everywhere and there’s always someone to tell your mama you were seen kissing a particular boy on a particular day just a little too long. So when you get grounded, what is there left to do? Read! My Aunt Jo gave me my first real romance novel. It was a romance titled “Lord Margrave’s Deception.” I remember it fondly. But I also learned I had a deep and abiding love of mysteries and anything paranormal. As I grew up, I started to write just that and would entertain my friends with stories featuring them as main characters.

  Now, I live Huntersville, NC where I entertain my niece and nephew and w
atch the cats get teased by the birds and laugh myself silly when they swoop down and then dive back up just out of reach. The cats start yelling something fierce…lol.

  I love books, I love writing books, and I love entertaining people with my silly stories.

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