by Leigh Landry
“Eight years of summer leagues as a kid.” She shrugged. “You didn’t ask.”
She braced herself for a man-baby tantrum. Wouldn’t be the first she’d witnessed in a bowling alley after she whooped the pants off a dude. But his frustration settled into amusement and…something else.
“What?” she asked when she couldn’t figure it out.
He shook his head. “Nothing. Just amazed, that’s all.”
“That score’s nothing. Haven’t played in at least a year.”
“No, not that,” he said. “I mean, that score’s impressive, but I’m more amazed by the woman behind it.”
His eyes locked on hers, and she couldn’t manage to tear herself away from his gaze if she tried. It was weird, seeing herself in his eyes like that. Like she could do anything. Only one other person ever made her feel like that.
“This isn’t a thing,” she reminded him.
He laughed. “I remember.”
They dropped off their shoes and headed back out into the biting cold. Shane dropped an arm casually around her shoulder and brought her closer to him as they walked toward their vehicles. Natalie surprised herself by not minding the gesture one bit. In fact, she leaned into him a little.
For warmth, she told herself.
“This is my car,” she said when they approached her ten-year-old Camry.
Shane removed his arm from her shoulder, leaving her cold and longing, and handed her his phone. “I believe you owe me an email address.”
She pressed her lips together to hide her amusement. This man was as quick as he was gorgeous. “I believe you’re right.” She took the phone and added her name to his contacts. After typing for a second, she handed it back.
Shane looked down at the screen and grinned. “I believe that’s a phone number.”
“Just. A. Fling,” she reminded him.
He slipped the phone in his coat pocket, then put both hands on her hips, closing the space between them. “Just a fling.”
She met his icy-cold lips with her own and was instantly rewarded with a wave of warmth all the way down to her toes. His beard tickled her skin as he took her bottom lip between his teeth, softly and gently, then pulled away. His cheeks were red with both wind chill and the heat between them, and his eyes were filled with mischief and desire.
Natalie patted a hand against his chest, wishing there was a lot less coat and clothing between his skin and hers. “That’s enough fun for tonight.”
Another devilishly handsome grin appeared through his beard. He grabbed her hand and kissed her cold fingers. “’Til next time, then.”
He stood on the sidewalk until she got in her car and started it. After he waved and walked off toward his truck, Natalie dropped her face into her palms and shook her head.
She had no idea what she was doing with this guy. At all. It took everything she had to pull away from that kiss and not invite him back with her. Which would totally be in bounds for a fling. Wasn’t that what a fling was for?
But no. She kissed him and sent him home. After they went bowling. And laughed. And hung out like a real fucking date.
She sighed and put her car in gear. Surely she could handle this. She could keep her traitorous heart in check and enjoy herself. Because whatever this was, it was fun. Shane was fun. And damn it, she deserved a little fun.
Plenty of time to second-guess all her choices tomorrow.
Chapter Five
Shane rolled the sparkly blue pom-pom across the kitchen linoleum. A sparkly blue pom-pom he’d bought in the craft department of Wal-mart that morning. Because that was apparently a thing he did now.
A second later, a tiny orange-striped floof scrambled after the thing. It still didn’t have a name, because he was still trying to find someone to keep it permanently. He normally had a policy against bringing distressed strays home, but this kitten and Natalie had both blown that policy out of the water over the past couple weeks.
And he didn’t have an ounce of regret about either.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Kissing her goodnight. Watching her expertly own that lane in those tight jeans. Even sitting across from him at the bar in the Cuban place, clearly on guard and not taking once ounce of shit from him.
He was still thinking about what she’d said there, too. She got him thinking all the next day about how much he really did miss playing. How pissed he was that he didn’t have his guitar anymore. Just do it, she’d said. He wasn’t a fucking shoe. And neither was his guitar. She had no clue what she was asking him to do.
But today…today he started wondering if maybe that was the point. Maybe not knowing the situation meant she could make a lot more sense out of the past year of his life than he could.
When his brother, Randy, and his sister-in-law, Julie, were having some trouble last year, Julie had reached out to Shane for advice. He’d met her for lunch a couple times. Reassured her that his brother was a good guy, that whatever was going on between them they could get through it. But when Randy found out they’d been spending time together, he flipped out. There was nothing Shane or Julie could do or say to reassure him. Shane had figured he’d come to his senses with time, but it had been a year and nothing.
His own brother had believed the worst about him. Then cut him off. Randy had tossed Shane aside, created a rift in their family, and moved on with his own life like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like Shane had never meant a damn thing to him in the first place.
But maybe it hadn’t been that easy or simple. Maybe Randy was hurting just as much as him from all of this.
Shane got up and opened a can of cat food while the little purr beast rubbed against his feet and screamed at him. He placed the can on the floor and went to the living room. After he grabbed his phone, he scrolled through his contacts, then let his thumb hover over his brother’s entry for a minute.
Maybe he should wait and call tomorrow while his brother was at work. He could leave a message. Better yet, he could just text him.
He could practically hear Natalie mocking him. Not that he should care what she thought. She made it clear they were just a fling. A fling shouldn’t have a say in something like this.
Yet, here he was. Calling his brother.
“Hello?”
It was weird hearing his brother’s voice after so long. Randy’s voice was soft, with a childlike quality to it. Innocent. But there was nothing innocent about him.
“Hey.”
“Shane?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” He scratched nervously at his beard. He should have put more thought into what he would say before he picked up that phone. He should have planned the words for his olive branch. But it was too late for that now. “I, uh, was calling to see if I could come pick up my guitar some time.”
Silence stretched out for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few seconds. Shane thought for a moment that his brother might have hung up on him.
“Yeah,” came his brother’s voice eventually. “Yeah, um, except…” He didn’t want Shane going to his house. Figured. That fucker. “How about I drop it off at the store?”
Shane sighed. “Yeah. That works.”
Silence again.
“Are you working tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” his brother said. Another long pause. “Did you need anything else?”
An apology? An admission that the motherfucker was wrong? Anything?
“No, that’s it,” said Shane.
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow. See ya.”
Shane ended the call and stared at his phone. He felt sick to his stomach, his palms were sweaty, and he was hot with anger, but he’d done it. He’d made the call. And he was going to get his guitar back. Why the fuck hadn’t he gotten this over with sooner?
Because he hadn’t met Natalie sooner, that’s why.
The kitten was licking its tiny, dirty paw beside the empty can. He thre
w the can away, picked the kitten up, and carried it to the bedroom. He nuzzled it, then looked the kitten in the eye while he held it in his cupped hands.
“I need to go somewhere for a little bit…to thank someone. Maybe press my luck again.” He smiled and booped noses with the kitten. “You and that full little belly of yours take a nap and don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone, okay?”
The kitten purred as Shane set it down on the fleece blanket it liked to sleep on. After turning off the light, he shut the bedroom door and grabbed his phone.
* * * * *
Natalie turned down Robin’s long gravel driveway Thursday evening. She used to love their weekly rehearsals. It was like a regular dinner party for their little found family, and as much as they gave each other crap, they really were family.
Until one of those family members decided to check out on them.
She’d been there by Camille’s side through everything. Her crap ex. Her layoff and months of job searching. Her spiral.
And yeah, despite what Robin thought, Natalie wasn’t blind to that spiral. She’d known Camille had been in trouble. And she’d stood by her through it. She’d supported Camille’s decision to go to rehab. Hell, Natalie had been the one who drove her there to check in.
And for all her loyalty and support, she got lies in return. Lies and a letter.
Natalie bypassed the giant Acadian-style house and headed straight for the studio out back. On the way, she passed Kelsey exiting the small building, probably finished setting up her kit.
“Hey there,” Kelsey said, her voice chipper. Kelsey loved to play. Any time. Any reason. She loved being behind that drum set with a pair of sticks in her hands. It was something she and Natalie always had in common.
“Hey.” The word was clipped short, as Natalie tried to rush past her and convey that she didn’t want to chat.
Kelsey stopped. “Not coming in the house?”
Natalie turned and paused for a moment. “No. I’m going to hide out for a bit. Tell the others I’m warming up. I’ll be in here whenever y’all are ready.”
Kelsey frowned but nodded. “Oh, wait! How was your not-a-date the other night? I meant to call you yesterday, but I think I must be coming down with something and passed out the second I got home from work.”
Natalie shrugged. “It was okay.”
She hoped Kelsey couldn’t read the truth on her face. Because it was all kinds of okay. More than that. She’d had more fun with Shane not having the only kind of fun that normally distracted her from reality. More fun than she’d had in a really long time. And that kiss…
But she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. About Shane. About anything.
It was the kind of thing she would have talked to Camille about. She loved Kelsey, but there was a Camille-shaped hole in Natalie’s heart that Kelsey, try as she might, just couldn’t fill. Not Kelsey. Not anyone.
“You’ll have to tell me all about it later,” Kelsey said. “And I do mean all of it.”
“Sure thing.”
She entered the little studio, then unzipped her bag, pulled out her guitar, and found a folding chair leaning against a wall. With one leg crossed over the other, she leaned back in the chair and let her fingers pluck at random chords, her left hand maneuvering and sliding along the frets. Then she fell into a few bars of the opening melody from “Blackbird.” It was one of her favorite songs, and her muscle memory took over, letting her fingers pluck the familiar, soothing melody. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be carried away by the tune.
When she had enough, she sat up straight and stretched her fingers and wrists. They had a long night ahead, and an even longer night tomorrow at the fair performance.
She thought about what to play next, and another favorite popped in her head. Damn it if she wasn’t moody as hell. She closed her eyes again and bent her head. Her fingers plucked those first few repetitive bars of “Ain’t No Sunshine.” She nodded along with the rhythmic pulse of the song. It was like church for her soul.
The door swung open and Robin walked in first, pausing to frown when she recognized the song. “Jesus, Nat. Really?”
Eric followed behind her and stopped too when he saw and heard Natalie playing in the chair. He grimaced and said, “Ooh, Jesus has nothing to do with that. Throw some holy water on that scene right there.”
“All right, all right.” Natalie stopped playing and went to stand in her spot.
The new girl came in next, followed by Kelsey, who closed the door behind them. Kelsey didn’t look well, and it was unusual to see her and Eric walk in separately like that, not speaking, even when they were more off-again than on-again. Natalie wondered if she had missed something back in the house.
“We don’t have time for an exorcism right now,” said Robin. “We’ve got a gig tomorrow night. Let’s start with ‘La Danse de Mardi Gras.’ We need to make sure Lauren’s comfortable with that one before tomorrow night.”
“Wait.” The word came out before Natalie had a chance to second-guess herself. She’d been thinking about it all week, but sitting in the studio, alone…it just wasn’t right. None of this was right. Not when she knew she could fix it. “I’m just letting y’all know, I’m getting Camille back.” She looked at the new fiddle player. “No offense.”
The girl nodded politely in acknowledgment, and Natalie almost wished she’d push back so Natalie would have someone to fight with.
“Nat,” Robin said in a stern voice.
Eric was uncharacteristically silent, and Kelsey gave a pleading, “Nat, maybe—”
Natalie ignored them all, her eyes glued to Robin. “Where is she?”
“I told you. I don’t know,” Robin said. “If anyone knows where she’s hiding out, it’s you.”
She was right, of course, and not because Camille left some damn letter. If Camille hadn’t even bothered to tell Natalie she was leaving, she sure as hell wouldn’t have said where she was going in there.
“Fine. Don’t tell me.” Natalie lifted her guitar and prepared to play. “I’m still gonna bring her back. She belongs here. And she needs us.”
Robin frowned, disappointment and sadness clear in her eyes. “Don’t you think she should get to decide what she needs?”
The words stung. Maybe because they were right. But Natalie knew in her heart that she could help Camille. Hadn’t she helped her before? No one knew her better than Natalie. And no one was going to stop her from helping her friend.
“Maybe she’s right.” The whole studio fell into silence as everyone’s heads turned to the new fiddle player. “Maybe Camille does need her friends.”
After a long, awkward silence, Robin said, “Maybe. But I still say it’s her call.”
Nat was too stunned to say anything. She hadn’t heard much out of the new girl after her grandstand push to promise to kick ass if they gave her a shot. And now she was not only speaking, she was speaking in Natalie’s defense. Or at least in Camille’s defense. Which meant even more.
The fiddle girl cleared her throat. “I’m just saying, I’ve been through hell the last couple months, and having you all around has been really helpful. That’s all.”
Robin nodded and turned her eyes to Natalie. “There’s a big difference between being there for someone and dragging them back somewhere for what you think is their own good.”
The room fell silent again, until Nat strummed the first chord of the song. “Whatever. Let’s just get on with this.”
* * * * *
Two hours later, she put her guitar back in its bag and headed for the door. Kelsey called after her to wait up, but Natalie ignored her. She felt a slight twinge of guilt for that, but she didn’t want to listen to anyone try to talk her out of what she knew she needed to do.
When she got in her car and turned it on, she checked her phone while she waited for it to warm up. Two missed messages. The first one was a string of hearts and flowers and animals.
“Shit.”
&nb
sp; She’d forgotten to text Cadence before rehearsal. Even before she glanced at the time, Natalie knew it was too late to catch her before bed. She texted a quick apology, to Cadence and Cadence’s dad, Eddie. Hopefully, he’d show it to her in the morning before school.
The second missed message was from Shane. It was over an hour old. He’d texted her once the day before to say he had a great time and was looking forward to seeing her at the gig Friday. She’d said she had fun, too, but that was all they’d said to each other since their bowling date.
Shane: Good news. Would like to tell you in person. Could meet you somewhere?
It was over an hour old. Natalie considered her response. She didn’t normally give out her address to flings. Especially since she had her safety and Cadence’s to consider. But this guy seemed to pass all her normal screenings so far. Plus, she didn’t feel like sitting in public right now.
Natalie: Just out of rehearsal. On my way home, if you want to swing by?
Shane: You mean I get a phone number and an address??
Natalie: Simmer down and don’t press your luck, buddy.
Shane: For you? I’ll roll all the dice.
She found herself smiling and shaking her head at the screen. A second later, she typed her address and, after a brief moment of consideration, hit send. Then, she tossed the phone on the passenger seat and put the car in gear.
What the hell was she doing?
Breaking all her own damn rules, that’s what. But after a long day at work and what felt like an even longer rehearsal and the past few weeks of disappointment, Natalie didn’t give a damn about rules anymore.
Chapter Six
After she looked through the peephole, Natalie opened the front door of her townhouse and gestured for Shane to come in. He gave her a shy nod and entered silently.
“Can I get you a drink or anything?”
“No, I’m good.” He took off his coat and draped it on the back of a chair. “Nice place.”
“Yeah. It’s small but nice,” she said. “Safe.”
