Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts)

by Nicole Smith

  “I am Millicent, born in 1908. I died just fifteen years later. I was murdered by a man shortly after he raped me. I have been wandering the streets of this city ever since. I am unable to travel out of it, once I reach the edge of the city, I am returned to the middle again. Unfortunately this is the curse of the pure eternal spirits.

  Joshua was born in 1842. Again, he cannot leave this city either. We have seen so many changes. We have met so many new spirits with the same dilemma as us. There are two kinds of spirits though, I’m afraid. There are the ones like us, as I said, pure. There are unfortunately many fierce and resentful spirits roaming the city. The wicked ones, the Geist’s, as they are called, they are unfairly capable of traveling where ever they want to go. They have more power than the rest of us too. They can make their presence known to people, show themselves and physically touch most people, but they abuse this power. They hurt people intentionally, for fun or profit, not that they need material possessions. As a spirit you can usually find a way to live any way you want and the comforts of the human world are no longer necessary anymore,” Millicent stopped as I held up my hand.

  “You do realize that you are talking to me. Doesn’t that make you and Joshua one of the Geist’s? ” I asked, trying to follow along with this tale.

  “You are a special case Natalie, just like Hayden is. You can see, touch and talk to us just as if we were alive in your realm. You’re special, which is why Hayden is so infatuated with you. It’s also why he wanted to keep Adam away from you,” she explained. I gasped at the sound of Adam’s name coming from her.

  “I have so many questions right now. Did you know Adam?” I asked.

  “Yes, Adam used to live here with us,” she said sadly.

  “That can’t be possible, Adam told me he hadn’t talked to anyone since his death and he has never left his home since that day,” I told her. She took a deep breath, but I wouldn’t let her continue.

  “You said the pure spirits could not leave the city? I don’t understand this.” I was trying to find holes in her story. She just nodded.

  “I don’t understand?” I repeated, feeling frustrated by her explanations.

  “Adam changed. I didn’t know it was possible. We had never seen such a thing in all the years we have been here. After Adams death he was with us, we taught him how to live again. He accepted his fate, or at least we thought he did, but he faltered. He met up with some of the other ones, the Geist’s. He was fascinated by the way they lived, with no rules, no boundaries. It was what he thought he wanted. We never believed he would be able to join them, but after a while his boundaries changed and he found he could go further and further away. Just over a year ago he disappeared. We didn’t know where he went but we knew that his new friends would eventually find him. He would be numbered among them again.

  That was when we asked Hayden to find him. We hoped we could get to him first and try and persuade him to come back to us. When Hayden finally found him, he was furious at first that Adam was with you. We had heard a little bit about you from Hayden and some of the other Seekers that have witnessed your interactions with the dead. Hayden kept his distance though. He was in awe of you and your relationship with Adam. He didn’t want to take him away from you. He watched as your bond grew. He came back and told us that Adam was in love with you. He also told us that Adam’s boundaries were back, but he was trapped there instead of here. Hayden told us there was nothing more he could do, but he still kept watch over you and Adam. I could tell that Hayden was quite fond of you. He told us about the first time he met you,” she paused, waiting for my reaction.

  “We met at a party and he drove me home,” I replied weakly. I couldn’t believe all of this.

  “No, the first time he met you he was tracking a little boy named Bradley,” I gasped as she said this.

  “No! Bradley was alive. He had a crush on me,” I whimpered, I couldn’t stand listening to this. I sat on the loose floorboards and looked up at Joshua. He dropped his edgy demeanor and smiled at me again, this time a little more sincere.

  “It’s true Natalie. Try and remember who else you had met when you would visit with Bradley,” he asked, trying to help me bring up old memories. I sighed as I recalled Shelly’s house and the parties she would have. My fourteenth birthday had come and gone. I had been spending more time out of the house, hanging with my friends. My mother was working most nights and my father would go to the bar in the evenings. So I had a lot of free time. John was never around anymore either and our neighbor, Shelly, would watch Luke when my mother was working.

  The evening Millicent and Joshua wanted me to remember surfaced in my mind. It was a night I was actually home. I was in the basement, in my secret room with Anton when I heard a loud bang and a lot of shouting. It was John. I had to go see if he was okay. When I ran upstairs I noticed the front door was wide open. John was out on the lawn with some of his friends. As I went to close the door I saw my father. He was so drunk he was having trouble standing. He was shouting at John for being outside. I had no idea why. I walked out the door and down the steps to the lawn. That’s when I caught his attention.

  “What do you think you’re doing out here miss?” he shouted. He reached for John’s bike, picked it up and threw it at the only tree on our property. His friends took off as soon as it landed. I held my hand up to wave goodbye and John nodded at them. I could tell they were scared for us. John looked at me with a mix of anger and fear.

  “Let’s go inside,” he said calmly as he jumped up the front steps and reached for the door, holding it for me as I walked in. Just as we turned our backs from him our father flew himself at John and was holding his neck with one hand as he tried to punch him with the other. I screamed out of shock and anger.

  “Let go of him!” I shouted as I hit his back with my fists. My father quickly turned on me. John fell to the floor gasping. I was enraged when my father grabbed a hold of my shirt and lifted his other hand in a fist over my face. Just before it landed on my face Anton stepped in between us. He held my father’s fist in his hand and then somehow twisted his arm back and threw him into the glass French doors that opened to the living room. I was so amazed by Anton’s strength and his fierceness. I was thrilled not only by the fact that my father was cut by the glass but he was completely unable to figure out what had just happened. He stared at me in horror, as if I was somehow responsible. I was just staring at Anton. I must have had a look of awe on my face. When I blinked he was gone and John was standing over me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked as he held his hand out to me, helping me up off the floor.

  “I’m fine, are you hurt?” I asked him, remembering he was almost strangled by our father. He rubbed his neck.

  “I’m fine but what the hell happened to him?” he asked pointing at our father still on the floor, pulling glass from his hands.

  “I’m not too sure. I think he lost his balance or something,” I replied, hoping that would work.

  “I guess but he flew into that door,” he questioned it but didn’t know any other possible answer. John certainly wouldn’t believe in any guardian ghost. Our neighbor, Shelly, heard the shouting and had come running over. I could tell she was shocked when she saw our father still sitting amongst the broken glass. He looked up as she reached the front door and shouted at her.

  “Get the hell out of my house, all of you!” He stood up and walked upstairs, not even looking back down at us.

  “I’m going to go stay at a friend’s house after I stop in on Mom at work and tell her what to expect when she gets home. I’ll bet he will be passed out by then. What are you going to do?” John asked me as he headed for the door. I looked down at the floor, thinking of Anton. Before I could answer Shelly grabbed my hand.

  “Why don’t you come over to my house until your mother gets here Natalie? Luke will be happy to see you. You can watch television and rest on my couch,” Shelly said as she walked over to me. She gave me a quick hug.

&nbs
p; “John you’re welcome to come over too,” she told him.

  “No thanks.” He ran outside and picked up his bike. The front tire was warped. He threw it back on the lawn and walked quickly down the street.

  “I’ll be over in a few minutes. I just have to grab my book,” I lied to her as she nodded and went back to her house. I quietly ran downstairs. When I reached Anton in the basement he was looking anxious sitting on the bench. I smiled and sat down beside him.

  “Thank you Anton. That was so amazing. I had no idea you were so strong, for a phantom that is,” I smiled and poked his rib.

  “You’re not mad at me?” he asked, looking into my eyes.

  “No of course not, you’re my hero. You saved my face, big time,” I told him. I shuddered, thinking about the bruise that would have been left or the broken nose I almost received.

  “I could have easily killed him,” he said quietly.

  “I just might hold you to that,” I answered, still feeling pretty wound up. He laughed and gave me a hug.

  “No one should ever hurt you, especially your parents. I don’t understand it. You are so sweet, tiny and fragile. It wasn’t a fair fight at all,” he went on.

  “You think I’m sweet?” I asked grinning.

  “Of course I do. In 1914 in my country, I would have made you my wife,” he told me, grinning.

  “Ugh. Don’t ever say the word wife!” I snapped. “I will never be married, ever. No offence. I just have no wish to be owned by some man,” I said more to myself than to Anton. “But I would love to be your girlfriend,” I said, inching a little closer to him. He laughed.

  “I am your friend and you are a girl, yes?” he said confused. I kissed his cheek and I could tell he blushed. He held my face with both his hands and kissed both my cheeks, then my forehead.

  “You better go before she comes back to look for you,” he said looking up. I stood up, grabbed my book off the rug.

  “Good night Anton and thank you.” I closed the door after I heard him whisper, “Good night Natalie.”

  I waited at Shelly’s house for my mother to return home. I sat down on the couch and Bradley sat beside me. He was Shelly’s son and he was apparently in love with me. He would serenade me with Bruce Springsteen songs. He always made me laugh. I wasn’t surprised to see him. He began to tell me something about some kids at school, but my mind was elsewhere. I was still thinking about Anton using his strength to keep my father from hitting me. I have never been afraid of ghosts before, I never thought about them being dangerous. Anton would never hurt me but now I wondered about future ghosts I might meet. I was lost in thought when I heard a strange man’s voice talking and laughing. I looked up and instantly froze. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

  “Hey Brad!” he greeted him as he walked towards us.

  “Hey Joe,” Bradley replied, seemingly disturbed by his intrusion.

  “How’s school going, any news to share?” He actually sat down beside Bradley and gave him his full attention. I was shocked that Bradley didn’t seem to notice or care.

  “No, everything is cool,” he said as he stood up and walked to the kitchen. That’s when Joe turned to focus on me.

  “Hi Natalie, I’m Joe,” he smiled and looked into my eyes. All I could do was nod.

  “Shelly told me about tonight. I know you may not want to hear it but situations like that will only make you stronger. You’re not to blame for any of it. A lot of us have demons to deal with and sometimes it’s the people we love that get in the middle of that battle.” I liked the way he looked at me when he spoke, the attention he gave me. He was intense. I knew what he was trying to tell me but I was still too angry to try and understand anything that transpired tonight.

  I sat back and sighed. It may have appeared to Joe that I was responding to his advice, but I was intoxicated by this man. I breathed in the scent of his cologne, smoke and leather mixed with the rye and coke in his hand. His long dark hair was pulled back behind his head and his blue eyes seemed so clear, he stared at me as he spoke. I leaned closer to him and was about to look up at him when I felt such a warm and unforgettable breeze surround me. I quickly sat back, waiting for someone to appear in front of me. I glanced into the kitchen then back towards the big window in the living room. There wasn’t any one here that shouldn’t be. I shook it off and looked back to Joe, but he was gone. I was confused. Where did he go so quickly? Why did he leave me? I sighed as I stretched out on the couch and closed my eyes.

  I awoke to the sound of Joe’s voice in the house again. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I had no idea how long I had been sleeping for. I took in a deep breath and smelled the familiar scent of smoke and something else, like the trees after a rainfall. I stood up and quietly walked towards Shelly’s dining room, just past the kitchen. I leaned against the wall and glanced in. Joe was sitting in one of the chairs, Shelly was across from him. At the other end of the table was my mother. She was smiling. Beside her was another strange man. He was dressed almost the same as Joe, jeans and a snug tee shirt revealing his muscular arms. There was part of a tattoo on Joe’s arm peeking out from under his shirt. It was the legs of a woman with a long coat or robe wrapped around her. Joe seemed younger than the blond haired man he was with. He was looking at my mother, smiling too. I backed away. She seemed happy, and that was such a rare sight, I had to let her be. I walked back to the couch and felt the breeze again. Still no one appeared to me. I curled up on the couch and tried to sleep.

  Over the next few weeks my mother spent a lot of her free time over at Shelly’s. My father would never go to her house. Shelly wasn’t afraid of him and he didn’t like that. It was obvious after the first night we moved into the house beside hers. My parents had been fighting again. My mother screamed as my father’s fist landed on her cheek. I saw the lights come on in her house and seconds later there was a pounding on our front door. My father opened the door, still in his rage.

  “What?” was the only greeting she received.

  “I heard a scream. I’m your neighbor. Is everything okay?” she asked, trying to look around him. She was taller than my mother and she looked strong. She had big arms and I couldn’t help but notice her chest. Her black tee shirt was tight and her jeans looked painted on. I loved her long sandy blonde hair too. I especially loved the way she flipped it out of her face. She was beautiful. Her lips were full and her eyes were dark. I quickly smiled at her as she peeked in. I didn’t like the sympathetic smile she returned. So I was cowering on the couch as my father raged. I will be strong someday, I thought. I will be like you someday, at least at that moment I wished I would be. “Everything is fine. My wife just saw a mouse. But, hey, thanks for stopping in!” he said, smirking. She glared at him as she backed away.

  Shelly always had people over at her house. It was such a fun place to be in the evenings. There was lots of laughing and stories to listen to. Her front yard always had motorcycles parked on it. Brad and I would sit on them and talk sometimes. He would pretend he was driving and I would imagine the freedom of it. I dreamed someday when we were both older we would reminisce on these times. I remembered our last evening together. I had just walked out of their house after staring at Joe for way too long. I looked up at the stars. Bradley grabbed my hand and told me I was his girlfriend. I smiled. He was sweet. I couldn’t hurt his feelings. He was years younger and a foot shorter. I understood his crush. I felt the same way about Joe. Joe had hugged me once and I wished he would never let me go. I felt so safe when he was around. I never did get the chance to say good bye to Shelly or Bradley. I didn’t see Joe again either after that last night.

  A vision of Joe standing in the doorway, smiling at me flashed before my eyes. He was Hayden, they were the same. I felt hot tears pour from my eyes. I couldn’t stop crying. Why hadn’t I recognized him earlier?

  “What Hayden didn’t know then, but realized when he met you again with Adam, is that the two of you share a bond. You’re meant to be together. I don’t kn
ow why I can see it, but he will find you and you will want him too,” Millicent said quietly. I didn’t know what to say, I was so confused. The scent of the soap in Hayden’s house was Joe’s scent, just without the cigarette smoke anymore. His hair was shorter now, he didn’t seem much older though, but I knew it was him. I remembered the first time he hugged me, I prayed he would never let me go and I just walked out on him. I stopped crying.

  “None of this makes any sense. I still don’t understand how Adam turned into a Geist. There was not a bad part to him at all. He was wonderful, sweet and considerate. He was my life. He was the reason I wanted to die. I wanted to be with him forever and now he is gone. If what you say is true and you have been here this long, then why is Adam gone now?” I asked. They looked at me blankly.

  “We don’t really know if he is gone,” Millicent said quickly. I was not going to believe this. I know Hayden hinted at it too. Adam would not have abandoned me. He would not have lied to me like that.

  “Why did you ask me why Hayden is looking for me if you already knew?” I asked Joshua.

  “Why did you leave him? Wasn’t he taking good care of you Natalie? He needs you and you left him,” he glared at me as if I had personally upset him by leaving Hayden.

  “Hayden does not need me. He does very well without me. I don’t want to be a burden to him,” I replied.

  “You can never be a burden to Hayden. You have no idea how strong he is. Besides he loves you. You are his eternal love. Weren’t you listening, you belong to him,” he said. I started to tremble after hearing the words `I belong to him’.

  “No, I belonged to Adam,” I whispered.

  “That was an illusion. Adam was not what he appeared to be and he let you go,” Joshua said, looking out the window.

  “I can never believe that and just so you know, Hayden isn’t interested in my love, he told me so,” I said crouching down beside Millicent. She reached for my hands.

  “He is only trying to protect you. He doesn’t want to push himself on you. He saw your love for Adam and he is afraid you will never be able to love like that again. It’s his pride that is making you run. Hayden told us that at one time, when you first met him, he thought you loved him, but you were so young then,” she said softly.