Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts)

by Nicole Smith

  “I really like that dress on you,” he said, touching the bare skin that was showing above my long black sock. I smiled and put my hand gently on his as he drew circles on my leg. I started to tremble. His touch sent shivers throughout my body. He pulled his hand away and started to drive.

  It didn’t take long to reach his apartment. He put his black coat around me as we walked to the elevator to ride up to the seventeenth floor. He held me close, probably thinking I would fall if he didn’t. He led me inside and locked the door. I took off Ava’s boots and walked to the couch. Hayden came over and sat beside me.

  “I’m sor—,” I was about to say sorry, but he put his finger on my lips.

  “I’ve told you before, never say sorry for your feelings. I know I handled it all wrong. I should have been so much more delicate with all I needed to tell you. I am the one that is truly sorry Natalie. I have been so lost without you all day,” he said, looking away. I almost thought I saw tears in his eyes. I reached over and put my arms around him. He suddenly pulled me into his arms and kissed my neck.

  “Please don’t leave me again,” he whispered in my ear. He picked me up and carried me to his bed. He set me down and left the room for a second, when he returned he had a warm wet cloth.

  “I have to wash your face,” he said smiling. I laughed, remembering how horrible I must have looked. I grabbed the cloth from him and wiped my face. He took it from me, smiling as he washed the remaining bits of makeup off my eyes. He left again and came back with a new nightgown. This one was creamy white.

  “Oh, thank you Hayden. You really shouldn’t spoil me, I might get used to it,” I said.

  “I’ll let you change,” he said as he turned to leave.

  “No please don’t, I need your help actually,” I said slowly turning around, holding my hair up.

  “Do you mind?” I asked. He slowly walked back over to me. As soon as I felt his fingers on my back I shivered slightly. I knew he felt it. His hands lingered on the small of my back. I heard him sigh as he walked out of the room. I remembered what Joshua had said about Hayden loving me, but I was still having trouble seeing it. I quickly changed and folded Ava’s clothes in a pile on his dresser. He came back into the room and gave me a glass of water. I went to brush my teeth and was about to go to his study when he grabbed my hand.

  “Would it be okay if you shared my bed tonight?” he asked so sweetly.

  “I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself, I just want to know you are here and safe.”

  “I’d like that,” I said and followed him. His bed was so comfortable. I stretched out on his silky smooth black sheets and sighed.

  “Will it be comfortable enough?” he questioned my sigh, as he snuggled up beside me.

  “Oh yes, this will be perfect,” I answered, inching a little bit closer to him. He was so warm. I felt so safe and wanted, finally. I never wanted to leave again. Hayden kissed my shoulder gently and whispered, “Good Night Natalie.”

  “Good Night Joe,” I whispered back as I drifted off to sleep.

  When I awoke the next morning, I realized I’d had a wonderful sleep. I didn’t have a single nightmare. I stretched my hands up over my head and rolled over to look for Hayden. His side was empty. I reached my arms and legs across the bed to his side, but it was cold. I started to panic, thinking maybe he regretted having me share his bed. I stood up and put on his robe that was hanging on the back of the door. I slowly walked out towards the living room. I didn’t see him anywhere. I looked in the kitchen and his study. He was gone. I went back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water when I saw the note on the fridge.

  Darling Natalie

  I had to run out to take care of an emergency. Please stay and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be as quick as I can. I really want to spend the day with you.

  Love Hayden

  I waited patiently. I began to read one of his ghost stories that had been left lying on the coffee table. After an hour or so passed I decided to shower. I dried my hair and wrapped myself up in a towel. I opened the door to get my clothes in the study when I saw Hayden standing there with a bouquet of red roses. I smiled forgetting I was in a towel and ran to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tightly.

  “I’m so happy you’re back. I was worried,” I said, as I thought again about waking up alone.

  “I’m sorry I snuck out so quietly, but you were sleeping so soundly. I couldn’t wake you,” he apologized.

  “These are for you. Let me find a vase,” he said as he quickly kissed my cheek. I released my hands from around him and caught my towel just before it completely fell. Hayden grinned slyly.

  “Maybe I’ll let you look for the vase and I’ll watch.”

  “Funny.” I wrapped myself up tightly.

  “I’m just going to go change,” I said as I walked towards the study. When I returned I saw the roses where in a beautiful black vase on the coffee table. The red was so vibrant, so captivating and as I knelt down to smell them I felt Hayden kneel down beside me on the rug. I turned to look at him. He held my hands and began to explain how sorry he was for yesterday.

  “I was so scared when you disappeared. I thought for sure I would be able to catch you before you managed to get too far. When I finally made it to my car, I searched every alley, but I guess I missed one. I started to panic. The thoughts that entered my head were starting to drive me mad. As the hours passed I realized you could be completely out of my grasp. I asked everybody I knew to keep a watch out for you. I even offered a reward for you, knowing that would get people talking. You have no idea how much I wanted you back.

  I am sorry that you felt like you had to get away from me so frantically. My fear now is that you may still want to leave. If you do, I will drive you home or somewhere safe, please just promise me you won’t disappear like that again. I don’t think my heart can handle it.” He finally finished his apology and I felt so guilty.

  “Hayden, you have been nothing but wonderful and so generous. I have never been treated so well in all my life. I don’t deserve you, really. I’m the one that is so very sorry. I panicked and acted foolishly. My pride was hurt and I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I just threw my guard up to protect myself and Adam. I have learned a lot since I left you. I don’t want to leave you Hayden.” He leaned over and held my face with both his hands and he gently kissed me, softly at first and then he became more intense. I placed my hands around his neck and I ran them through his hair. He gently pulled away from me. He picked me up and carried me over to the couch. He cradled me in his arms, just the way Adam used to, but being held by Hayden felt different. He felt calm, or I should say I felt more at ease with him holding me. He kissed me again. His hands slowly ran down my back and towards my legs. He carefully shifted me around so I was straddling him now. He pulled me closer to him. He lifted my chin and kissed my neck and chin, sending shivers everywhere. He breathed lightly near my ears. As he held my face close to his, he looked searchingly into my eyes.

  “I am so happy you’re here with me,” he closed his eyes.

  “I am so happy you want me here,” I told him.

  “I have to tell you more Natalie,” he said seriously as he reopened his eyes.

  “No. Not now,” I said kissing him again, but he seemed distant now.

  “I don’t want to upset you. I don’t want to ruin this moment but I have to finish explaining myself. I can’t allow myself to be with you unless I am completely honest. You have to understand and time is unfortunately not on our side,” he said, carefully watching for my reaction.

  “I know a lot more now than I did yesterday,” I informed him, remembering what Millicent and Joshua had told me.

  “Can I ask you something about last night, at the club?”

  “Sure,” this seemed like such an odd question, I was curious now.

  “Could you tell the difference between the living and the ghosts that were roaming around at the club?” he asked slowly, trying to
approach the subject cautiously. I was surprised by the question and wondered if it was a trick. I decided I would just be honest with him.

  “Well, Millicent and Joshua were there. Mark and Ava are alive. I am assuming everyone else in the club was too, but to be honest I was having a lot of fun most of the night that I really didn’t pay attention to such details,” I explained.

  “I have been tricked in the past though,” I whispered more to myself than Hayden, although I knew he heard me.

  “What about that last character I saw you with, I believe his name was Johnny?” he asked. I was shocked.

  “Of course he was living, wasn’t he? I felt his spikes,” I told him as I remembered how he made my skin crawl.

  “No my darling he wasn’t. Ava and Mark couldn’t see him. They didn’t know you were in trouble. Millicent and Joshua couldn’t help you because Johnny is one of the others, he is a Geist. He was stronger than them. I believe they tried to watch you, but when it seemed like there might be trouble they went to try and get Mark’s attention. I’m thinking you’re lucky that I showed up when I did. As soon as you touched his spikes he knew that you were special. He wanted to know how much he could make you feel and that frightened me so much. I could have caught him on my own last night, but all I wanted to do was take you home and keep you safe. I’m just worried that the rumors of you being here are spreading. They will come looking for you now. They will seek you out. Geist’s crave the attention of the living.” I stood and walked towards the window, trying to understand the danger I may be in.

  “I’m in a bit of shock or something right now. I don’t know how to respond. I haven’t always known at first that I was in the presence of a ghost, but I usually figured it out, eventually. I suppose if there was a group of them I wouldn’t know,” I said more to myself as I tried to wrap my head around it all. Hayden reached for my hands again and I rested my head on his shoulder. All of this was starting to scare me. I didn’t want creepy ghosts looking for me, like I was some kind of science experiment. Why would they want to do such a thing to me? I guess that’s the reason they call them a Geist, which explains why it’s Hayden’s job to capture them. Who does he deliver them to? What do they do with them? Hayden’s work and his employer were still a mystery to me. Right now I couldn’t handle knowing anymore. I moved closer into Hayden’s arms and shivered. He held me close, rubbing my back.

  “I don’t want you to worry. I am not going to leave you. I am here to keep you safe. I am all yours now, I promise,” he assured me. I wanted so much to believe him. I wrapped my arms around him. I didn’t want to be alone like that again. I needed him more than I realized. He was my protector now. Adam saved me from myself but Hayden had to save me from the living departed.

  “I have been capturing Geist’s for many years now and I know their limits. They may not have boundaries like the other spirits but they do have limits,” he told me over lunch later that day, when he felt I was ready to hear more.

  “I am compensated when I deliver them to the Seekers. They keep order in this realm and the next.” I was still as Hayden said this.

  “I remember the first time Adam kissed me. He disappeared for hours, thinking he would have to face condemnation for breaking some rule. He was seriously worried he would be punished,” I told Hayden.

  “Was he worried about you or the others?” I asked.

  “Possibly, but I don’t believe kissing someone that doesn’t object was high on my list for capture. Although for personal reasons I would have delivered him,” he said smiling at me. I was silent after this.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said moving closer, reaching for my hand. I nodded.

  “Why did you have to capture Bradley?” I couldn’t help but ask, he was my friend and very sweet, he was so young. Hayden sighed and looked at me seriously.

  “Bradley was a child, he was alone and believed Shelly was his mother. Do you remember seeing his bedroom? Were there any pictures on the walls of him? Did you see Shelly talk to him at all?” Hayden waited for me to go over all this. All I could do was shake my head. When I talked with Bradley, we were always alone, either outside or in the living room alone watching T.V.

  “The only time I remember seeing him talk to anyone was with Joe, I mean was with you. He wasn’t afraid of you?” I asked.

  “He didn’t know who I was. He accepted the fact that he could only talk to a few people. You made him very happy, but I knew I couldn’t let him stay there. I met Shelly through another Seeker. Shelly knew the spirit of a small boy was in her house and she wanted the child to leave. I was asked to do it. Shelly knew why I was there.” Hayden was still staring at me as he explained this.

  “Why did you use a different name then?” I wished I had realized it was him earlier.

  “That my darling is a long story, which I will explain another time.” He abruptly stood up and began cleaning up. As I watched him move around the kitchen I compared him to the man I first met all those years ago. The only difference I could see was that his hair was shorter. He really hadn’t aged at all. I couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize him earlier.

  After lunch I went to go lie down. I was still feeling tired after being out so late. When I awoke, I realized I had been sleeping for over four hours. I walked out into the living room and there was Hayden smiling at me. He had pink balloons and pink and white roses everywhere.

  “What is this about?” I asked, shocked.

  “Do you know what day it is today?”

  “No. Not really,” I haven’t really looked a calendar in a while.

  “Do you know what month it is?” I could tell he was holding back laughter.

  “Oh my god. Yes!” I laughed, finally remembering it was my birthday.

  “Wow, I completely forgot. That is so crazy. I guess with everything going on I just simply forgot. How did you know?” I hugged him tightly, jumping up and down. He reached for me and kissed me sweetly.

  “Your mother called to wish you a happy birthday. You’ll have to call her back. Now come here my little birthday girl. How many spankings do you get today or would you rather kisses?” He reached for my hand and led me to the kitchen.

  “Eighteen kisses would be much nicer than spankings, but I’ll let you decide,” I winked at him, grinning.

  Hayden was sweet enough to order in for dinner and he even had time, while I was napping, to buy me a beautiful birthday cake. I had never seen a cake look so lavish. It was covered in pink, white and yellow roses. It had three layers and each creamy center just melted in my mouth. I was so happy.

  “Thank you Hayden, this is so beautiful, so perfect.” He kissed me and placed a small box in my hands.

  “Oh, Hayden, you shouldn’t have,” I was shocked to be given a gift.

  “Please, open it.”

  “Thank you Hayden.” I undid the pretty pink bow and opened the case. Inside was a beautiful pair of diamond earrings. They were so bright. I could actually see them twinkling in the light. I was stunned by this expensive gift.

  “Hayden, thank you so much, they’re so beautiful. You spoil me.” I had tears in my eyes again. He put the earrings on me and kissed my neck. I tingled everywhere.

  “You look beautiful Natalie.” I looked into his eyes, feeling so overwhelmed.

  Later that evening we curled up to watch another movie when his phone rang. He quickly went to answer it.

  “Yes!” he replied.

  “I see,” he said flatly, not expressing any emotion.

  “That can be a problem,” he continued.

  “I will be in touch.” He ended the conversation and placed the phone down. He came back over to me and held me tight in his arms.

  “Is there anything I should be worried about?” I asked sensing his tension as he held me.

  “No my darling, please don’t worry. I’m not leaving you tonight,” he said, as though he had to convince himself of this. I tried to smile but I wasn’t feeling very calm now
. After the movie I was getting ready for bed in Hayden’s room, when he called me. I walked out of his room and he held my hand as he led me toward the tub. When did he do this? He had the tub full and it was overflowing with rose scented bubbles. He had lit candles all around the tub and strewn rose petals on the sides and on the floor. He had carefully placed a large glass full of sparkling champagne on the ledge.

  “For you my darling Natalie, please relax and enjoy,” he said grinning. I was giggling as I wrapped my arms around him. I hugged him and looked up waiting for him to kiss me. He kissed my forehead and told me to soak. I was concerned by this reaction, so many mixed emotions from him. I let go of him and began to undress before he had a chance to leave. I heard him sigh as he turned to leave and closed the door. I climbed into the warm water. It was wonderful. I turned the jets on and enjoyed the feeling of the water swirling around me. There was a knock on the door.

  “Come in,” I told him. He slowly opened the door.

  “Are you decent?” he asked

  “Yes, all the bubbles have been strategically placed so as not to offend you,” I replied feeling a little rejected again.

  “Good,” he answered as he walked over to the side of the tub and looked at me sweetly, smiling.

  “Sometimes you confuse me,” I told him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, with a look of anguish. “I just don’t know if my being here with you is wrong or not and it scares me.”

  “You, Hayden, the most in-control person I have ever met is scared? If being with me feels good then it can’t be wrong. So I guess the only question you have to answer is does it feel good?” I said sinking in to the tub and then rising back up to reach his waist. I knew I was starting to expose myself as I knelt in the tub. He ran his hands down my back reaching my lower back and stopped. He kissed me with more urgency then I have ever felt from him before. I pulled him closer to me.