That Thing Between Eli & Gwen

by J. J. McAvoy

  “Is everything okay?” Eli straightened some.

  “Everything is fine. Did you find anything to eat?” He looked like he didn’t believe me, but looked through his phone anyway.

  “What are you in the mood for? Thai? Chinese?”

  “How about we get a hamburger and fries? The more I think about it, the better it sounds,” I said, walking over to him and offering my hand to help him off the ground.

  He took it, standing up. “That works. How do you have so much energy after—”

  “After last night?” I grinned, holding the door open for him. “I have no idea, but I’m sure it will hit me later. For now, I want to eat. The cereal and toast we had this morning was nowhere near enough. Bye, Taigi.”

  I closed and locked the door. He took my hand, leading us to the elevator. We both stopped when we saw Toby there, slouched with a half-bottle of whiskey in his hands. He looked up at the numbers above us.

  “This…isn’t…my…floor…” He hiccupped, slipping backward.

  Eli ran to catch him.

  The bottle slipped from his hand, falling to the ground.

  “Toby,” Eli called to him.

  “Dr. Davenport?” He laughed, patting his shoulder and trying to stand straight. When he came back up, he had the neck of the broken bottle in his hand. “You are a son of a bitch, you know that?” The elevator doors closed again. Eli shook his head when I tried to come closer and I pressed the button for Toby’s floor.

  “You doctors can’t do shit.” He laughed again, and when Eli tried to hold him steady, he pushed him away. “All you did was make my daughter feel worse! And then you come in all proud and mighty like you are some fucking god, and stop trying to save her! Time of death, 8:43 PM. You know, that is all I hear now! Every goddamn day, that’s all I hear. Time of death, 8:43 PM. What gives you the right, huh? What gives you the right to say my daughter's dead!”

  “Toby—”

  “And you!” He cut him off, turning to me.

  The moment he did, Eli stood right in front of me.

  “You and your stupid, goddamn fucking painting! You weren’t helping anyone! Every time I look at it, I want to set it on fire. Why did you have to go draw it? You should have put an X over everyone’s face—”

  The doors opened again, and he collapsed, shaking.

  “Call an ambulance. He most likely has alcohol poisoning.” Eli was on his hands and knees.

  I was already on the phone as Eli turned Toby’s body to the side to help him breathe, keeping his head elevated at the level of his knees. The fact that we lived so close to the hospital had never come as more of a relief than it did in that moment when the ambulance pulled up. I waited for them outside and held the door open as they, alongside Eli, helped Toby from the elevator onto a gurney.

  “I’m going to go with them to the hospital, go ahead—”

  “I’m coming too. I’ll be there soon. Go.”

  Nodding, he kissed the side of my head before heading into the ambulance with them. When I saw them racing down the street, I finally allowed myself to take a deep breath and calm down.

  Every time I look at it, I want to set it on fire. Why did you have to go draw it? His voice screamed in my mind as I walked down the street, gripping on to my bag. I hadn’t thought of how he would feel looking at a painting of his family when everyone in it was dead but him. It most likely didn’t bring him any of the same joy I hoped my work brought Meryl, Logan, and Eli.

  Even though it had only been three days, it felt like forever since I had last entered the hospital. Maybe it was vanity, or maybe I just needed to remind myself that it was there, that I looked to my mural. It was somewhat old news now. Anyone who worked there would get used to it, and new people probably didn’t come to see my painting. A few kids sat in front of it while their parents were on the phone. They stuck their fingers up the painting of the grandfather’s nose.

  At least they’re smiling, I thought, walking to the nurses station. “Can you let me know when I can see a Mr. Toby Wesley, please?”

  “Gwen?”

  Turning, I saw Ian come up to me, handing the chart to the nurse and smiling.

  “Welcome. I thought you and Eli went on a getaway?”

  “We came back today. Do you remember Toby Wesley? Molly’s father. He lives in our building, and we ran into him. He was really messed up. The ambulance should have just brought him here,” I said to him.

  He frowned. “Eli came in with them?”

  I nodded.

  “We have a better chance of finding out at the ER. Follow me.” He pointed in that direction and I followed, vaguely remembering the highway crash that had led me there the first time. This time, thankfully, it was much tamer when we got there.

  After walking us to the nurses station near the door of the area, Ian turned to the nearest nurse. “Has a Toby Wesley been checked in?”

  “We have a record of him. He’s being prepped for emergency surgery.” He nodded, about to walk off, then stopped. “Dr. Davenport?”

  “Just got an update that he is assisting.”

  Ian frowned. “Call the chairwoman and let her know. I’ll go try and pull him out now—”

  “We’ve got a doctor coming in now.” A nurse hung up the phone, rushing toward the door.

  “Who?” Ian said, already grabbing gloves.

  “They said it was Dr. Michaels,” the nurse said.

  “Hannah?” He went toward the door as the paramedics brought in a woman who couldn’t have been Hannah. I took a step back as they wheeled her in. My heart started to race, and blood pumped to my ears.

  “What happened?” Ian asked, looking into her eyes.

  “She was out at lunch with a few other people from the clinic and fainted. She came to a little bit before demanding to be brought here.”

  My eyes were glued to her stomach. Her clearly pregnant stomach.

  It’s Sebastian’s. It’s Sebastian’s.

  “She said the baby’s father was a doctor here.”

  I wanted to collapse, but it made better sense to run…to run far, far away from all of this.

  Eli

  Stepping out of the OR two hours later than I would have hoped, I stretched and pulled off my cap to find my mother and Ian both waiting for me. Ignoring them, I went to the sink to wash my hands. “I know what you guys are going to say. No, I didn’t officially come back yet. But I brought him in, and I wasn’t going to just drop him off and go on my way again,” I told them, but neither spoke as I turned around. “Mom, it’s fine. I only stood watch; I didn’t operate in any way, though we are going to have to put him on the donor list.”

  “Sweetheart, we aren’t here about that,” my mother whispered, pushing off the wall, her arms folded. “Just listen to me—”

  “Is it Guinevere? Is she all right? She said she was coming here, and I haven’t—”

  “It’s not Gwen, Eli,” Ian stated as I was already halfway out the door.

  “If it’s not Guinevere and it’s not Logan or my mother, why do you all look like someone died?” I snapped at them.

  “Hannah came in—”

  “If this is about Hannah, Mom, I—”

  “Listen to me, Eli!” she yelled.

  I went still. “Hannah came in, bleeding…she’s pregnant. She has cervical insufficiency and her water broke. We are trying to slow down her labor, but there is only so much we can do, you know that.”

  “You guys can’t possibly think it’s mine. She was having an affair, you know that, right?” They couldn’t be serious. “Shit, did Guinevere hear any of this? She might have gotten—”

  “Hannah had a non-invasive prenatal DNA test, twice, from a toothbrush you left at her place, and both times you came out as the father. 99.97% positive,” Ian kept spitting out the nonsense.

  My brain couldn’t wrap around it at all, and I felt nothing but panic.

  “Eli, I checked her charts. She is going to give birth, and you are going to be th
e father of a tiny, premature baby, so you need to go—”

  “Mother.” I stopped her, shaking my head. “What I need to do is make sure Mr. Wesley doesn’t drink himself to death so I can put him on the donor list. Then I need to call Logan, well, because that little brat isn’t answering his phone, lost it or something. Then I need to unpack, because 24 hours ago we were in Cypress, Alaska. And 24 hours ago, being a father was nowhere on my list of accomplishments. So I don’t know what Hannah told you, or why you are—”

  “Eli, I know this is hard for you. I understand you are confused and upset, but right now it can’t be about you. It needs to be about Hannah, and your baby.”

  “What baby?” I yelled. “Hannah was here for months. She told me she missed me. She got mad at me for going on dates. But never did she ever tell me about a baby. So either the baby isn’t mine, or she doesn’t want me in her life.”

  Ian said nothing, his arms crossed. I realized I preferred him making jokes.

  “Was Guinevere here when this all happened?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Ian. Was Guinevere here?”

  He nodded. “Hannah came in when she was looking for you in the ER.”

  Of course. Of fucking course! Heading out of the room, I pulled out my phone and dialed. It felt like the phone rang forever before I got her voicemail.

  “Pick up, Guinevere. Pick up,” I said, dialing again, and this time I went straight to her voicemail. Fuck. This was insane. Nothing made sense. I thought back to all the times I'd seen Hannah up to this point. She hadn’t looked any different to me. She should have at least been early in her second trimester when I’d seen her last. She should have been showing.

  “Dr. Davenport.”

  I looked up to find that I was in the maternity ward, and an intern in pink came up to me.

  “Dr. Michaels is in room 617. Dr. Milroy said she may need a C-section, but she is still holding off. Please let us know if you need anything.” He nodded to me and walked around, heading back down the hall.

  I didn’t want to see her, but I needed to hear her say it. I needed her to explain. When I slid open the door for 617, I spotted Hannah laying back, her hand on her head.

  She looked to me, and then back to the ceiling.

  After walking up to her, I took a seat beside her bed.

  “It is yours,” she said. “I have proof. I showed it to your mother. The baby is yours. I don’t need money, or—”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” I tried my best to speak calmly while staring at her stomach. “You were here for how long? You could have said something Hannah!”

  She snickered and her jaw cracked to the side. “Why? So you’d tell me you don’t love me anymore? That I should get rid of it so you could run off into the sunset with some other woman? Sorry but no. I was going to hide and wait and avoid you until I gave birth, and then I was going to show her to you. I was going to put her in your face so you couldn’t walk away, not without completely rejecting us. I know you. Eli Davenport, reject his family? Never. This is our chance, Eli. We can have a second chance. Me, you, and our daughter. Just think, this is what would have happened if—”

  “If you hadn’t run off with another man? If we had gotten married? But you did and we didn’t. So there is no second chance and using a baby as a way to make me stay with you is low, Hannah. There are a lot of things I could call you, but I never thought manipulative was one of them—”

  “What can I do!” she yelled at me, her blue eyes angrily trying to brush away tears. “I made a mistake. A mistake I will regret every day of my life. I wake up and I’m so angry at myself. I love you, Eli. This is a good thing. We were a good thing! I’m sure we can get that back.”

  “Hannah—”

  “So because of her, that woman, you’re going to abandon us? Have you even seen our daughter?”

  “That woman is my girlfriend—”

  “And I’m the mother of your child.”

  “Wow,” I whispered in disgust. Talking to her was useless and honestly scared me a little. Had I really been so blinded by her before that I hadn’t realized the type of person she was? She only cared about herself. She wanted everything and she wanted it on her terms.

  Once again, I found myself staring at Hannah, wondering, How the hell did this happen?

  “I won’t abandon her,” I said after taking a deep breath. “No matter who her mother is, I’d never abandon my own daughter. But you Hannah...I could do with not seeing you ever again.”

  With that, I left the room, but not before hearing a sob from behind me. Running my hands through my hair, I tried to breathe. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to be harsh, but she didn’t seem to understand.

  This is a mess. FUCK! Less than twenty-four hours before I had been certain my life was back on track, and then this happened. And Guinevere…

  I reached for my phone in my pocket when I heard someone come up beside me.

  “Dr. Davenport, congratulations. Do you want to see your daughter?” A nurse smiled happily at me.

  Gripping on to the phone tightly, I put it back into my pocket and nodded without saying a word.

  Guinevere

  I knocked on the door.

  Nathaniel opened it, his hair slicked back as always and his reading glasses low on his nose.

  “Gwen?”

  “Stevie told me to visit the Hamptons, so surprise, here I am! Nice house. It's very…white.”

  Stevie came up, dressed in a light green floral dress, her red hair up in a ponytail.

  “Stevie! You look nice. So, I was in town and I thought I’d come and see you. I’m sorry, I was going to call, but I dropped my phone in my toilet. This place really is nice.”

  Nathaniel looked between us both and just headed back inside.

  “I’m sorry, were you guys in the middle of something? I can go and come back. I bought a car.” I pointed to the white Audi convertible in her driveway with Taigi sitting in the passenger seat.

  “Gwen, are you all right?”

  “Not at all, I think they cheated me on it, really. Did you know you could buy cars right off the lot? It was a little too expensive, but I was in a hurry. At first, I was going to take the bus here, but I would have had to walk another hour just to get to your house from the station. Then I was going to take a taxi, but I knew that would have looked bad if you all had company. So I said, 'What the hell, I’m a millionaire! I should splurge right?' So I went to the dealership and bought myself a brand new Audi and drove here. It’s nice, right?” I pointed back at it and Taigi barked. “Taigi loves it.”

  She walked up to me and placed her hands on my face. “You sound like you’ve lost your mind and it’s scaring me, Gwen. What happened? Are your parents okay? Is everything okay?”

  I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from breaking down, but it didn’t work. Nothing worked, and all I could do was hug her.

  “Okay, cry first. We can talk later.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Love Me Enough To…

  Guinevere

  Later didn’t come for two days. Every time I tried to talk about it, my eyes would start to burn and I would break down again. Stevie and I sat on the beach, Taigi’s head on my lap as the sun rose over the horizon. She handed me the chocolate bar, and I broke myself off another piece.

  “He called me,” she whispered. “Eli. He called last night, wanting to know if I had spoken to you. He sounded like he was—”

  “Please don’t,” I begged, brushing Taigi’s fur. “Each time I think of him, I think of her, pregnant. If I stayed in his life then I would be jealous, and upset, and…forced to see her as long as he wanted to be with me. I just see myself getting hurt, and hurting him in return.”

  On top of the fact that I wasn’t even sure if I wanted kids, let alone being step-anything to anyone.

  “So you are never going to speak to him again? It’s not his fault, Gwen.”

  “I know. I know it
’s not his fault. All of this was before me, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s going to be a father, or is one already. I don’t see any room for me. There is no room for me in his life. It’s neither of our fault, but I can’t; I don’t want to spend my life waiting on the sidelines, hoping one day it will be just us.” I tried to laugh, but my voice cracked. “Remember how I said Nathaniel wasn’t the right guy for you? Thank you for telling me to shove it, because I would hate it if I had messed up your life as much as I have mine.”

  “You didn’t mess up your life.” She took my hand. “Things just happen, and life is just life. And you were right about Nathaniel back then, he was a tool. He cheated on me.”

  “No, he didn’t.” If he had, I was going to kill him.

  She nodded, spinning the ring on her finger. “It was a few weeks after I dropped out. I met the girl and punched her right in the face, but I couldn’t face you. I didn’t drop out because of Nathaniel, I dropped out because I couldn’t keep up, and there you were, excelling at the speed of light. I felt like my world was crumbling, and I couldn’t face you or my parents, so I broke up with Nathaniel and worked at a bar that year we didn’t speak. I could have called you at any time, but I just wanted to be on my own. Nathaniel and I had just gotten back together when we became friends again. I never told you because it seemed dumb in hindsight, and I knew you would be upset you hadn’t come earlier.”

  “I’m a pretty bad friend. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Stevie, and here I am coming to you now, crying all over your shoulder.”

  She shrugged. “You came because you trusted me, and I’m happy. I feel bad that I didn’t trust you enough back then.”

  I pulled her into a hug, and we both fell onto the sand, laughing.

  “Promise me no matter what, you will tell me if anything happens, all right? And if Nathaniel ever—”

  “I got it, I got it. Go, you have your own love life to sort out.”