She looked down. “I am not trying to do that.” If only he knew how much she liked being with him, how much she wished to stay here on the lake with him. “Let me assure you,” she told him firmly, even as she tried to keep her voice coolly polite, in direct opposition to all the feelings churning inside her, “that I do wish to stay.” Keeping things on as impersonal a level as possible was the only way she could allow herself this time with him. She gave a self-conscious laugh. “Although it is quite irresponsible of me to do so.”
He gazed out over the lake. “You are the most responsible individual I have ever known.” He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. “All of this means more to you than your own happiness.”
She felt warmed by the comment, because something told her he was not trying to flatter her. There was a trace of something that almost sounded like regret in his tone. Yet she knew that could not be, for what would cause it?
Unwittingly Jedidiah allowed his eyes to move over Victoria’s lovely features, those dark lashes, that luscious mouth. It dipped lower, to trace the curve of her breasts in her high-necked gown of white. He dragged his gaze away, then found himself looking down at her slender ankle, which was stretched toward him. It was a trim ankle in white laced boots. For a moment, all sound ceased, and he found his attention focusing on that one small point, Victoria’s delicate, narrow foot in that white boot. He saw himself reaching forward, to undo the ribbon laces, gently slipping it off. He had never kissed a woman’s ankles, and for the first time in his life he found himself wondering why.
A sound intruded, the sound of Victoria’s voice saying his name. “Cousin Jedidiah?”
He gave a start, swallowing hard, then licked his unbelievably dry lips. “Yes.” What in the hell was wrong with him? He’d been with his share of women in the years since Nina had left. Not once had he been so stirred up over the sight of a booted foot.
In fact, he couldn’t remember being so worked up over the sight of a completely naked female. He gave himself a mental shake. Obviously he had been without a woman for far too long.
“Perhaps we should go in.”
Looking over the space between them, Jed found her watching him with an oddly wistful expression in her gray eyes, an expression that brought an unexpected sense of yearning. She glanced away as soon as he met her gaze. Perhaps they should.
Then, just as he was about to reply, he felt a drop of rain hit the back of his hand. Victoria seemed to notice at the same moment, for she looked up just as he did.
Somehow the cloud had moved in even as they sat there. Jed realized he must have been too occupied with thinking inappropriate things about ‘Victoria’s ankles to notice. He heard her gasp as the rain began to pour down more forcefully, and felt very much the fool for having failed to see it coming.
Now they were stuck out here, far from shore, in a downpour. He had certainly managed to help her enjoy her afternoon.
Then, to his complete amazement, he heard a noise that sounded like laughter erupt from Victoria. Knowing that he had to be mistaken, Jed swung around to face her.
She was smiling widely, holding out her hand to catch the fall. She laughed aloud again, making his heart turn over in response. At that moment she looked up at him, her eyes growing round as their gazes met, then darted apart. Suddenly she scowled, making him wonder at her mercurial change of mood. Even as he watched, she glanced around them in perturbation and said, “Row us over to the back side of the lake, please.” She pointed to the opposite side of the lake. “That shore is closer, and there is a place where we can take shelter at the top of the hill.”
With sure, quick strokes, Jed moved the boat in the direction she pointed. He couldn’t see any reason for her sudden change of attitude, and decided against trying to find one. This woman would drive him to drink if he allowed himself to get upset every time he didn’t understand her.
Concentrating on getting them over to the bank gave Jed something less aggravating to think about. He couldn’t see any shelter on the hill behind the lake, but he trusted in her assertion that there was.
Victoria watched surreptitiously as Jed rowed them close against the bank, unable to keep from noting the way the rain had turned his white shirt transparent. That was what had brought on her abrupt change of mood. Seeing Jedidiah that way made her think of things she had best stay away from.
Yet her appreciative gaze dwelled on the muscles in his shoulders as they rippled with each stroke. When he stood and held out his hand to help her up, it was a long moment before Victoria could put her own unexplainably cold fingers in his warm ones. She swallowed hard as she rose, not looking at him. As soon as her boot touched the ground, she withdrew her hand from his and started up the steep bank.
When they reached the top of the rise, Jedidiah finally understood where she was taking them. All his attention was now centered on the ruins of the old castle before them. It looked to be of ancient design, and he moved after her with a thoughtful expression.
Once they were on level ground, she hurried ahead. If he hadn’t been watching closely, Jed would not have seen where she went as she disappeared through a hole in the once formidable stone wall. He went after her and found himself beneath a wide archway that led to what must have been some sort of hall. At the opposite end from where they had entered there stood the remnants of an enormous fireplace. The roof and portions of the walls had crumbled away along either side, and the floor had grown up with bright green grass. But at this end a part of the roof remained attached to the arch and provided an effective shelter from the downpour.
Victoria stood looking out over the ruin of the hall, her arms wrapped around herself. Though it was not a cold day, in spite of the rain, she appeared chilled.
He looked out over the ruins. “What is this place?”
Her gaze followed his. When she turned back to him, she smiled with pride and a kind of nostalgic affection. “This is the ruins of the first castle on this site. It was built by my Norman ancestor, Gaston de Thorn, and his Saxon bride, Rose.”
“You speak of them almost as if you know them.”
She touched the cold stone wall lovingly. “I do know them, in a way. The legend of their love story has lived long after them. Rose was a Saxon maid who had been given as a prize of war to none other than Gaston’s own older brother, Hubert. But Rose fell in love with Gaston, as he did her, in spite of the fact that he was her enemy. They had a difficult time of it, yet in the end managed to come together, and in so doing founded the Thorn family dynasty. They have been held up to Thorns throughout the ages as the model of what can be accomplished by two people through love and dedication.”
He frowned at her last words, unaccountably disturbed by hearing Victoria talk about what two people in love could accomplish. “You believe in love, then? You, who would marry the first suitable man you meet?”
She stiffened, obviously stung by his ill-considered remark. The sharp retort she uttered reminded him anew of her inner strength. “And what would you have me do, Mr. McBride? I have to marry someone. It is not my right to remain unwed.” She waved a hand to indicate the ruins. “Do you see this? Where I come from? It is my responsibility to carry on, to continue the line. My husband must be willing to have our children take the name of Thorn and wear it proudly.” She paused, then went on. “As the legend is told, my ancestor Rose was alone and afraid, the last of her line, but she did what she had to do. In the end, she knew true happiness.”
This time she paused longer, and when she spoke again, her tone was regretful but firm. “I do not expect to find that kind of happiness, but I will do what I have to. It is my duty to see that there is a legacy for the others who come after me.”
He watched her closely, saw the regret in her faraway expression. And realized anew that, in spite of her brave words, Victoria was lonely, and feared that she might always be so. Unexpectedly Jed felt a swell of sympathy for her. He was deeply sympathetic to her need for someone to care about, becaus
e he, too, felt it. Even though he did his best to hide the fact, even from himself, it was there inside him.
This made him more drawn to her, for he, too, had resolved to live without love. His reasons were not hers, having risen out of his own resolve that he would not be hurt again, but they were just as binding.
He moved silently to stand behind her. Was it fair for such a lovely and fascinating woman to live her life for duty alone? For she was both, as Jed had come to know over the few days he had spent with Victoria Thorn.
Jed didn’t understand what drove him to whisper what he did, but the words could not be stopped. “And what about passion, Victoria? Is it your duty to live without that, too?”
Victoria could hardly give credence to her own ears. After what he had said to her yesterday, she would never have expected such a thing to come from those lips that had brought her such pleasure and pain.
When she turned to see if she had indeed imagined what Jedidiah had said, he was so near that she could feel his warm breath on her face. She gazed up into his eyes, eyes as dark as a stormy sea, and felt as if she were being pulled under by a powerful wave of emotion. Far from being unpleasant, the sensation was terrifyingly pleasurable.
Her heart began to pound and, judging from the tightness in her chest, she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to take a whole breath again. Oh, heaven help me, she thought, even as she unconsciously leaned closer to the warmth and strength of him.
To her great horror—and greater satisfaction—Jedidiah’s arms closed around her. Victoria could no longer stem the tide of longing she had felt since the first time she saw him. The tide that had swept over her the first time he kissed her and could not be held back now. She gave herself up to the overwhelming need to be held close against him. As she melted into the embrace, she lifted her face to him.
Jedidiah’s head dipped, and he placed his own lips over hers. Victoria felt the pliant but firm press of his mouth on hers with a sigh of pleasure. Her own lips opened to him, and as his tongue flicked out to test hers, she gave herself completely to the ripples of sweet desire that radiated out from the core of her, reaching up to hold his head still closer to hers.
Jed traced the contours of Victoria’s mouth with his tongue, understanding as he did so that he had known she would taste like fresh dew, her lips damp from the rain. He sucked in the sigh that escaped her, taking her breath inside him, filling his lungs with the sweet essence of ‘Victoria.
She tightened her arms on his neck, raising up on tiptoe to press her mouth more fully to his, giving him measure for measure. Jed knew a pulse of piercingly erotic pleasure. He drew her more fully against him, feeling the firm swell of her breasts against his chest.
Victoria nearly cried out with the sheer sweetness of it when Jedidiah placed his hand over her breast. It seemed to take on a life of its own as it grew heavy and aching against his palm. When he circled a thumb over the delicate peak, it grew turgid, even as a ripple of desire undulated though her to settle in her lower belly. His other hand came up to close over the other breast, and she could no longer hold back a gasp of rapture.
She sagged against him, her hands falling to his hard chest. Even as he continued to caress her, she was overcome by the need to explore his body as he was hers. Her eager fingers traced the contours of firm muscle beneath smooth golden skin, with only the wet cotton shirt to hinder them.
She looked up at him, and a fresh wave of longing swept through her. He was so incredibly beautiful, his head thrown back, his handsome face damp from the rain, his eyes closed with the power of the sensations he was experiencing. “Victoria felt a wash of exhilaration at the knowledge that she could arouse him. She put her lips to the strong column of his throat, tasting the rain on his skin.
Jed groaned aloud, drowning in the need that rose up inside him. Her cool hands scorched his heated flesh, and he knew an overwhelming desire to get closer to her, to feel her skin beneath his hands.
His arms slipped down her slender back, molding her hips to the burgeoning length of his arousal. When his hands moved lower and he drew up the back of her riding skirt, she made no demurral, simply pressing herself more fully to him. There was too much cloth between himself and her, and he was maddeningly thwarted, first by her skirt, then by her bloomers. At last Jed found his way past the waistband of her undergarment to the deliciously silken skin of her firm bottom. He could not prevent himself shaping those delectable mounds, and he heard her hoarse cry of reaction. He reveled in the sound, remembering how she had sighed earlier, when he kissed her. Judging by her reaction to his touch now, Jed knew that that sigh had been brought on by desire—the same desire that had gripped him.
The desire he had fought so hard to resist.
As the thought came to him, Jed stiffened, his eyes opening in shock. Good God; what was he doing? Victoria was not for him. Everything he knew about her, including what she had said to him only minutes ago about lineage, tradition and adherence to duty, told him how far apart their worlds were. He would not be bound by such rules, the very rules that had made his mother an outcast from her own family.
He was behaving like a madman to kiss and hold her like this.
His only connection to Victoria Thorn was to make sure she was safe until she married. That was all. He certainly was not supposed to be seducing her. Yet he knew that that was exactly what he was doing. Though her responses were all that he could have wished for, Victoria was an innocent. He looked down at her, her lovely face flushed from his kiss, her lids heavy and nearly closed. Even as he was drawn to her, he was disgusted by his own actions.
Some of his distress must have transferred itself to her, for she opened her eyes to look at him in confusion. What she saw in his expression must have given her some clue as to his thoughts, for she put her hand to her lips, pulling away from him with dawning dismay.
She backed away from him without saying a word. Her smoke-dark eyes were filled with the very condemnation he felt toward himself.
He reached out, but she jerked away before he touched her. Jed felt as if she had slapped him. He rasped out. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
She shook her head, her hands going to her breast. “How could you do this to me again?” She closed her eyes. “Please, don’t say anything. I can’t bear any more.”
He drew himself up. “Maybe I should get my things and go.”
She looked at him, her eyes round with some emotion he could not identify. “No. I… I don’t want you to go. You have rescued me twice, and I owe you something for that.”
He opened his mouth to tell her that she owed him nothing, then shut it when he realized what he was seeing in her gaze. Surely it was fear. How could he leave her like this, with no one to protect her? He was obligated to do what he had said he would. And besides, he reminded himself, there was little hope of his finding his son without her. Stiffly he replied, “I will do what I have agreed to. Only when the debts are settled between us will I leave you.”
She nodded, without facing him. “I will do what I can to see that your son is found.” With that, she turned and ran from him.
Jed made no move to follow her. He felt a wave of self-castigation and bitterness rise up to engulf him. Clearly Victoria would be glad to see the end of him, in spite of her fear. It was obvious that she was disgusted by the fact that she had responded to him.
It seemed that the lady was not so very different from the others of her type. She was ashamed of any feeling she might have for a man like him, a simple sea captain, with no long family lineage to make him acceptable. Again he recalled the story she had told him about her ancestors and her pride in their accomplishments. It reminded Jed that Victoria was very aware of herself and who she was.
His jaw hardened, and he hit the stone wall next to him with his fist. The pain of the contact did nothing to bring him out of his torment. What had he been thinking of, to kiss her, to put his hands on her—?
He hadn’t been thi
nking, only feeling the loneliness inside her, a loneliness that answered an equal need in himself. What Jed had to remember was that Victoria, no matter how vulnerable she might seem, was the mistress of this vast and noble estate.
She could not forget who she was. And he, if he was not as big a fool as he had just acted, could not forget again, either.
Chapter Seven
Victoria tried to occupy herself with looking out the open window of the carriage. But she was infinitely aware of the man who sat so silent and seemingly unaware of her across the narrow aisle.
He lounged back against the comfortably padded seat, his eyes closed, as if he were sleeping. Her gaze went to his hands, where they lay folded across the tops of his muscular thighs. She glanced quickly away as she had a vivid flash of memory, a memory of what it had been like to feel them close around the bare flesh of her bottom.
Heat rippled through her body with an intensity that shocked her. Heavens, what was there about this man that so compelled and enticed her?
Whatever it was, she was determined to put it aside.
She forced herself to focus on the passing scene outside once more, but couldn’t stop the perspiration beading on her forehead. Victoria refused to reach up and wipe it away. Perhaps ignoring her reactions would make her unreasonable attraction to Jedidiah McBride go away.
Yet moments later her attention had strayed back to him, to the strong line of his jaw, the masculine angle of his nose, the thick fringe of his lashes against his tanned cheekbone. She gave a guilty start when he reached up to brush at his cheek. Almost as if he had sensed her regard.
What was the matter with her? Never had she been so helpless against any problem or obstacle. Her feelings for this man were such that it was more than she could do to even examine them. And he had made his disregard of her all too obvious. An exhaustion such as she had not experienced in her life swept over her in a formidable wave.
Victoria leaned back and closed her own eyes. Despite her near-sleepless night, she did not expect to actually succumb, but the gentle swaying of the carriage and her own fatigue did overcome her.
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