Lord, Change My Attitude: Before It's Too Late
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LET’S TALK SOLUTION
To find the solution to a critical attitude—that biblical, loving attitude—let’s once more answer three questions. The first one is primary: Am I a loving person? That’s the question that has to get answered. Am I a loving person? Years ago, evangelist D. L. Moody sensed that the Lord wanted him to grow in this matter of love. He wrote this more than one hundred years ago:
I took up that word Love, and I do not know how many weeks I spent in studying the passages in which it occurs till at last I could not help loving people. I had been feeding on love so long that I was anxious to do everybody good I came into contact with. I got full of it. It ran out of my fingers. You take up the subject of love in the Bible! You will get so full of it that all you have to do is open your lips and a flood of the Love of God [will flow] out. 3
Here are two additional questions to ask that lead to a loving attitude in your life:
-- Am I seeing the benefits of love in my life? Do the relationships in my life evidence that love is pouring forth from me upon the people around me? And remember all that love is. Love that is shown on the major issues and the minor issues. Both. Is there evidence of love in my life? Am I seeing the benefits?
-- Am I choosing love over criticism moment by moment? Attitudes are patterns of thinking formed over a long period of time. Am I choosing love moment by ?
Remember, whether the issue is major or minor, whatever action or attitude we choose, it is all to be done in love. On the majors, take action; on the minors, show acceptance; in all things, display love.
Look Up
Lord, thank You for this meaty passage of Your Word. It’s all there! It is as relevant today as the day it was written. And it speaks to my experience. It calls me to less criticism and more love, sometimes speaking truth, most often accepting and embracing people who, like me, are in the process of transformation.
God, forgive my negative, critical, faultfinding ways. Give me a heart to love people and bear with them, to speak truth when it’s needed, whatever the cost. But most often, a heart to accept others. Bring to my mind a specific person or two with whom I could apply these truths. Help me to confront halfhearted attitudes. Remind me that two thousand years ago Jesus Christ came into this world. He is love. He died on a cross and rose from the dead for me. His love is stronger than death! I want to let Christ love others through me. He can give me a supernatural endless capacity to love the very people that exhaust me.
Lord, thank You for Your love that has been shed abroad in my heart. Thank You for the capacity to love others, given by You and sustained by You. I rejoice and delight in that. You are a good and faithful God. I celebrate Your love. Thank You that You love us perfectly, unconditionally. I accept Your love right now, right here. I am not worthy of it, but I worship You and thank You in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.
NOTES
1. Michael P. Green, Illustrations for Biblical Preaching (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989), 258–59.
2. Jerry Cook with Stanley C. Baldwin, Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness (Ventura, Cal.: Regal, 1979), 13.
3. As quoted in George Sweeting, Who Said That? (Chicago: Moody, 1995), 309.
CHAPTER 7:
REPLACE A DOUBTING ATTITUDE...
NUMBERS 13:14–11
SAY IT IN A SENTENCE:
Those who make doubting their lifestyle will spend their lifetimes in the wilderness.
Keep going—we’re making big-time progress on our attitudes. Now we’re going to wilderness attitude number four: “Replace a Doubting Attitude...” “Wait a minute! Is doubt an attitude? Really?! I mean, I can see complaining and coveting—but doubting?”
Yes, the title of this chapter is “Replace a Doubting Attitude...” That’s my conviction, and I’m sticking to it! Wilderness attitude number four is doubt. Here’s a definition of doubt: Doubt is the absence of faith. I worked on that one for hours . . . OK, no, I didn’t. Here’s a fuller definition: Doubt is a lack of confidence or assurance that God will keep His promises.
Doubt is the mind-set that keeps saying, “Well, I just don’t know if God will keep His promises . . .” Doubt involves a settled and persistent choice to live with uncertainty. It’s not the stubborn “show me” of Thomas, that went looking for answers, but the steady unresolved attitude of Jonah that said, in effect, “I don’t know and I don’t care. I don’t believe and nobody can change that.”
Such doubt is dangerous. It’s destructive and completely detrimental to any kind of relationship with God. I mean, if you don’t have confidence that God will keep His promises, what do you have?
IRREVOCABLE PROMISES
Let’s get on the table some sample promises God has made, so we can push our definition of doubt a little further.
God has promised to provide for us. Philippians 4:19 says, “My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” “No, no—maybe God won’t provide for all of my needs. Maybe I’ll end up poor, and even destitute.” That’s doubt.
God has promised to protect us. Isaiah 54:17 says, “No weapon that is formed against you will prosper. . . . This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord” (NKJV). God promises to protect you—against anything or anyone intent on your harm. “But maybe He won’t protect me,” you think. “Maybe something awful is going to happen.” That’s doubt, for sure.
God has also promised to prosper us—though, as some are quick to add, that doesn’t necessarily mean financially. But Psalm 84:11 says, “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Your life will not lack one single thing that could increase your happiness if you will walk uprightly with the Lord. Now either you believe that or you don’t.
All three of the above promises, along with hundreds of others, are signed by God Himself. Doubt is a lack of confidence or a lack of assurance that God will keep those promises. When questions about God’s willingness or ability to keep His promises persist, the attitude becomes a lifestyle—and we are on a bus to cactus country. An attitude of doubt can be traced back to our very walk with the Lord. But it may not be as easy to see in your own life as it is to see in the lives of those Israelites on the edge of the wilderness. What we find in their choices will help you see your own life more clearly.
Numbers 13 takes us back to the children of Israel, poised between the Promised Land and the wasteland. In their experience, we can find five specific principles that show us how God deals with doubt, and why He causes life to become parched to those who persist in this attitude. Take a moment to prayerfully read Numbers 13:1–14:11.
PRINCIPLE ONE: GOD PLACES REGULAR TESTS OF FAITH BEFORE HIS CHILDREN
Faith is so important and doubt is so detrimental that God places regular tests of faith in front of His children. These are not intended for our failure, but for our success. Similarly, when the children of Israel were at the halfway point of their journey, almost ready to enter the Promised Land, they faced a challenge that was meant for their success. The land wasn’t vacant; there were other nations there. If they were going to take the land that God had promised, there was going to be some war. There was going to be some conflict and hardship. The questions create a choice: Will they trust and conquer, or will they doubt and despair and be defeated?
In Deuteronomy 1, Moses recalled what happened on the edge of the Promised Land that day, pointing out that God’s number one plan was that they would just go up and take the land. Just keep on marching; go right in and take over. “I’ve already won this battle for you,” God told them. In fact, God says in Deuteronomy 1:20–21, “‘I said to you, “You have come to the hill country of the Amorites which the Lord our God is about to give us. See, the Lord your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”’”
In other words, “Don’t doubt. You will win the battles. You will have the victory. God will take this land for you. Now get after it!”
But, of course, lack of faith had their feet paralyzed, and they stayed where they were. Later God added, “Yet you were not willing to go up, but rebelled against the command of the Lord your God . . But for all this, you did not trust the Lord your God” (verses 26, 32). There’s the bottom line: The reason they didn’t go up and take the land was because they couldn’t trust God.
They failed the test because they wouldn’t trust God.
Now what’s God going to do?
Cast them off, right? Wrong! God loves them, and so He gives them another opportunity to trust Him. That’s where we are in Numbers 13. Plan A was, “Go take it.” Plan B was, “All right, all right. I know you’re weak, but I love you. I’m a God of grace. We’ll send in some spies. They’ll bring back a good report and then you’ll be fired up with faith and you’ll go get this done.”
So God sent them in: “Then the Lord spoke to Moses saying, ‘Send out for yourself men so that they may spy out the land of Canaan, which I am going to give to the sons of Israel; you shall send a man from each of their fathers’ tribes, every one a leader among them’” (13:1). Here were the Navy Seals, spiritually speaking, the cream of the crop. God instructed Moses to handpick a twelve-man reconnaissance team to go behind enemy lines and spy on the land.
“So Moses sent them from the wilderness of Paran at the command of the Lord, all of them men who were heads of the sons of Israel” (13:3). Up they went for a sneak preview of the Promised Land. God was so faithful to provide that opportunity. They went to spy out the land, return with a scouting report, and then the people would have a choice. They could go up by faith and possess the land, or be filled with doubt and go back into the wilderness. God was saying, in effect,
“Are you going to trust Me—or doubt Me?”
Think about how often in life it really comes right down to that. Am I going to trust God? Or am I not going to trust God?
It was really a choice that they were making. But more than a choice, they were expressing an attitude. Doubt is an attitude; faith is an attitude. Remember that attitudes are patterns of thinking formed over a long period of time. Maybe your life has been about doubting for so long that it has hardened into an attitude. Even if you’ve trusted Christ for your conversion and forgiveness of sins, maybe you’ve continued to practice doubt. Maybe you don’t really know how to lay hold of and embrace the promises of God as the fuel for your own victory. It’s so important that each of us learns that lesson.
Faith is not just a part of the Christian life . . .
That’s right! Faith is not a part of the Christian life . . . it’s the whole thing! Faith isn’t like love and joy and hope. Faith isn’t something to add to your spiritual arsenal. Faith is the gun that fires the bullet! Faith is everything! If you can’t trust God; if you can’t lay hold of His promises, expect a lot of defeat in your life. We’ll say a lot more about this in the next chapter, which will be entirely about faith!
The thing about faith is that you can’t tell by looking at a person how much faith he or she really has. Faith in a person is like water in a bucket—you find out how much is inside when you bump it. When circumstances bump you, you spill what you’re full of.
What are you full of? If you’re filled with faith, then faith comes out. If you’re filled with doubt, and circumstances bump you, doubt comes out. God places regular tests of faith in front of His children.
Splashes!
Maybe you’ve had a reversal at work with a bad quarter, and the sales are way off. Bump! It’s a test. What spilled? Doubt or faith? Maybe you got some bad news from the doctor, and you’re going for some special tests. It se like dark clouds are gathering on the horizon. Bump! What splashed out of you? “Oh, this is the end! Oh, no! Oh, no!” Or was it: “God is good! God is faithful! I’m going to continue to trust Him no matter what.”
Maybe you have a child who is resisting and rebelling and breaking your heart and pressing you constantly. Bump! When you’re bumped, you spill what you’re full of. If you’re filled with faith, that’s what comes out. If you’re filled with doubt, that’s what comes out.
It’s one or the other: faith or doubt. Bumps are going to happen. You will be tested. The purpose of the test isn’t just to reveal your faith; it’s also to refine your faith. God doesn’t test your faith so He can know how much is there—He already knows. He tests your faith so that you can know how much is there and see it grow. Every good thing God wants to give to us comes through the funnel of faith. He refines our faith because He loves us and wants to bless us more and more.
PRINCIPLE TWO: THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF LIFE WILL EITHER SHRINK OR STRETCH YOUR FAITH
Numbers 13:4–16 describes the twelve men who were chosen and sent out. Then in verses 17 and 18, Moses gave the men their marching orders: “Go up there into the Negev; then go up into the hill country. See what the land is like.”
Twelve people, all going to see the same thing. But God wants to see how they will see it.
“See what the land is like, and whether the people who live in it are strong or weak, whether they are few or many. How is the land in which they live, is it good or bad? And how are the cities in which they live, are they like open camps or with fortifications? How is the land, is it fat or lean? Are there trees in it or not? Make an effort then to get some of the fruit of the land.” Now the time was the time of the first ripe grapes. (verses 18–20)
What happened to the spies? They saw a lot: strong cities, powerful armies, and impressive giants. The also saw evidence of abundance. But how did they see it all? Did they see it through the eyes of faith? Did they rely on the confidence that God had built into their lives? Or did they see it through the eyes of doubt? Forty years later, when Moses reviewed these events in Deuteronomy 1, he pointed out what God said: “‘ Then I said to you, “Do not be shocked nor fear them [that’s the people in the land when you see them]. The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, just as a man carries his son”’” (verses 29–31). How does a man carry his son? If your son were to fall and be hurt or to break his leg or to be deeply injured, how do you pick up your son and carry him? With great tenderness, love, and attention. Yet how did the spies respond? “But for all this, you did not trust the Lord your God” (verse 32).
So the things the spies saw would either shrink their faith or stretch their faith. I wonder, can you identify what might be going on in your life that’s shrinking or stretching your faith? God places those regular tests in front of us, doesn’t He? Either we get closer to Him and more filled with faith, or we get further away from Him and more filled with doubt.
In 1988, Kathy and I were living at Trinity International University, where I was a seminary student. On February 3 Kathy gave birth to our middle child, Landon. The delivery went on schedule without complications. Landon was born late that night in Highland Park Hospital. After all the excitement, I went home to catch some sleep. When I came back to the hospital the next morning, Kathy was standing there crying, with packed suitcase in her hand. Landon was not there.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. She explained that in the middle of the night the medical staff discovered a problem they had missed at delivery. Landon was born with something called a diaphragmatic hernia, which means his diaphragm didn’t close together while he was developing. At birth, his intestines were all up in the left side of his chest, and his heart was pushed over on his right side. One of his lungs was only 50 percent developed; the other was hardly formed at all. The doctor told us 88 percent of the babies born with that condition die within the first twenty-four hours. It’s a rare and very serious birth challenge.
In the middle of the night, Landon had experienced breathing problems. He started to turn blue. The nurses, thank God, were paying attention. They rushed him by helicopter to Lutheran General Hospital immediately, where they did emergency surgery. They reposi
tioned his intestines and closed up his diaphragm. But he was still struggling to breathe. There were many procedures ahead.
We rushed to Landon’s side. Most of the babies that survive this complication spend three to four months in intensive care. Have you ever been in a newborn intensive care unit? It’s a very sad place. I walked down rows and rows of babies in these small glass trays, lying helplessly under heat lamps. Then I saw Landon.
I saw my son lying there covered with bandages, wires, and tubes.
So much had changed in a few hours! God places regular tests of faith in front of His children.
I’ll never forget the moments after we got in our van outside Lutheran General, just before we went home. I took Kathy’s hand and said, “We need to pray about this.” They had told us before we went to our car that Landon might not live through the night. Of course, we didn’t know. I remember praying, “God, You are good. We trust You. ‘The Lord [gives] and the Lord [takes] away. Blessed be the name of the Lord,’” recalling the words of Job 1:21.
Over the next few days, the doctors performed two additional surgeries. The last procedure required a tube in Landon’s side. The doctors were trying to create a vacuum in his chest cavity in order to pull his heart back over a little bit in the right direction. They were planning more surgery.
Of course, I was right in the middle of everything and trying to figure out what was going on. I watched a “Dr. Jay” put Landon’s X ray up on the screen; he looked at it intently. After a moment, he pulled it down, and checked the name. He then put it back up on the screen again. He turned to his intern and asked, “What is wrong with this baby?”