A Trick for a Treat (A Wayfair Witches' Cozy Mystery #3)

by A. A. Albright

  Emily didn’t seem to have even that much in her. She hung her head, looking about as miserable as I felt.

  ‘Well?’ prompted Lassie. ‘You came to save us, right? So ... why aren’t you saving us?’

  ‘I hate to tell you girls, but my magic’s been temporarily suppressed. I just had my travelling exam.’

  Emily finally looked up. ‘Then what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at like ... the library or the sports’ grounds or something?’

  I moved towards them. The further into the cave I walked, the more head height there was. By the time I reached them there was a good foot or two above me. ‘You’d think, wouldn’t you,’ I said, examining the golden bond. It was magical, much like the bonds my coven used to hold their prisoners. But with my own power suppressed I could barely feel the slightest fizz when I touched the ropes, let alone do anything to free them. ‘Either I got the coordinates very wrong, or Mizz Plimpton sent me to the Precipice of Doom on purpose.’ I looked at Lassie. ‘Where’s your sister?’

  She sighed. ‘So you did figure it out.’

  ‘A bit too late,’ I said apologetically. ‘When I saw her house just now, it finally hit me. An attractive woman living on the other side of Jasper’s cove. Of course he was going to go out with her. And her being your sister ... that was what connected you to all of this. Oh, Lassie, I’m so sorry. I should have seen it sooner. But Max said you guys got on so well.’

  ‘We did. Or I thought so, anyway. I mean ... she didn’t seem like she hated me with a hellish fury. I guess some people are just good at keeping their feelings inside. Turns out she’s always felt this way, from the moment I was born.’ She blinked back tears, and nodded towards an empty crate a little distance from her. Beside the crate was a large cauldron, and empty bottles. ‘She’s been brewing Jinx down here. Mixing it into the chocolate.’

  ‘And by the looks of it,’ added Emily. ‘Not being terribly hygienic about the whole thing.’

  I followed Emily’s gaze. There was a crate filled with heart-shaped cardboard boxes. Unfortunately, there were quite a few dead fish and crustaceans in the crate, too.

  ‘Does that mean the tide’s going to come in here?’ I wondered.

  Emily shook her head. ‘This cave seems to stay dry. She just transported the stuff from a cave on Jasper’s side of the cove this morning. That was where she had her initial set-up. But she complained about the tide washing in and contaminating the batch – and the boxes – so she moved it all here.’

  ‘I guess you weren’t wrong to obsess about the boxes smelling fishy,’ said Lassie. ‘My sister told us a very long story about how the cave she started brewing in was Jasper’s fishing cave. I mean, who has a fishing cave?’

  ‘Let me guess. When your sister got serious about Jasper, he developed a sudden interest in fishing and made her gut his catch and cook it for him?’

  ‘How did you know?’ Lassie shook her head. ‘You’re not psychic on top of everything else, are you? Yeah. Maeve went along with it because she loved him so much. Then he dumped her anyway and ... well, clearly she went cray-cray.’

  ‘She keeps going on about how I’ve been tempting him with my sweets and ice cream and now I need to be punished,’ said Emily. ‘I mean, what’s she going to do? Track down and kidnap or murder every single woman who’s ever sold him a slice of cake or a bowl of soup? Cray-cray doesn’t go far enough, in my book.’

  ‘And we don’t think she kidnapped us from Witchfield just for kicks and giggles either,’ Lassie added. ‘She keeps saying she has a plan in the works, and we’re here so that we can take the blame when it goes down. Whoever she’s planning on poisoning next, we’re going to be the fall guys.’ Lassie glanced at my sodden clothing. ‘I don’t suppose you have a workable mobile phone on you?’

  ‘Wouldn’t that be nice,’ I replied with a groan. ‘Because the thing is, I have to get out of here, and I have to get out of here now.’ I looked seriously at Lassie and Emily. ‘I know it seems like Maeve is just about as nuts as it gets. But when she carries out the next part of her plan ... I think she’s about to get even crazier. Since you’ve been here did you guys see any way out? Y’know – other than magic.’

  Lassie nodded. ‘When we were taken out of the prison, we were transported straight to her basement. Then we were made walk down here. She thought it would be funny, seeing as we’re bound by the ankles. Laughed her mental head off every time we tripped. There are a lot of twists and turns, though. And we were kind of out of it at the time, so I have no idea of directions.’

  ‘That’s okay. I’ll find my way. But before I go ... do you know who she’s working with? How she got you out of Witchfield? Can you remember anything?’

  Emily shook her head. ‘I’m so sorry. We both got our breakfast in our cells, got knocked out by whatever they put in our food, and wound up in Maeve’s basement. We’ve heard her on the phone to someone – it sounds like a woman’s voice – but we have no idea who. The other person seems to be a supplier, though, if that helps. Because I heard Maeve asking them for more wolfsbane.’

  ‘Okay, that’s more than enough for me to work with.’ I gave them both a hug. ‘I’m so sorry girls. I have to go. But as soon as I get out of here, I’ll send someone to help you guys. You have my word.’

  ≈

  Without so much as a Solas spell or the light from my mobile phone, I found myself wandering through the darkness. There were twists and turns everywhere, just like Lassie had said. At one point I fell over something that felt suspiciously like bones. At another I fell into something that smelled like it was going to be bones as soon as it had decayed a little more.

  I kept digging down, testing to see if my magic was returning. But I could barely feel a tingle. I had no idea what time it was, nor of how much time had passed since I landed on the Precipice of Doom. All I knew was that A Trick for a Treat was beginning at five, and I had to be there.

  I thought back to what the original Wanda said. I could get through this without magic. I knew I could. I just needed to remember what I would have done before I became empowered.

  My body went smack bang into a flat, damp wall. I let my eyes adjust to the lack of light. Tunnels went off in two directions. The one to the right should take me to Maeve’s house – presuming I hadn’t veered too far off course along the way.

  ‘What would human Wanda do?’ I muttered. ‘She’d bloomin’ well use her instincts.’

  I turned left.

  As I walked, the tunnel inclined upwards, and a dim light was shining ahead of me. I ran towards it, and looked up. The light was coming down in straight shafts from the ceiling above.

  Floorboards?

  If I banged for attention though, and Maeve could hear me? Not a good idea. I let my eyes rove over the shafts of light a moment more. ‘Bingo!’ I whispered. In the midpoint of the ceiling above me, the light was streaming through in a pattern that was almost perfectly square. It looked just about the size and shape of a creepy but opportune trapdoor.

  I took a leap through the air, hoping to push against it. I came up – quite literally – short. I looked at the illuminated cave floor. In the corner there were old crates and casks. I began to heave them towards the trap door. Within a minute or so, I had erected a rickety stairway to escape. Balancing on top of the uppermost barrel, I finally pushed through the door.

  20. A Trick for a Treat

  ‘Well, hello there, Wanda. If you’re trying to nick my Superbrew, you might want to be a bit sneakier about it.’

  I blinked, shielding my eyes from the light. My head was currently in Three Witches Brew, gawping at Ronan. The rest of my body was still balanced on the barrel.

  ‘Oh, thank the goddess!’ I said breathily. ‘Don’t suppose you want to give me a helping hand?’

  Ronan reached out a hand, and with his help I climbed up onto the floor of the tavern. He seemed to be the only one in the place.

  ‘So what were you doing in my secret brewing cave th
en? If that’s not a rude question?’

  ‘Not nicking Superbrew – though I sincerely wish I had the time for a tankard right now. Has A Trick for a Treat started?’

  He glanced at the clock behind the bar. ‘Kids should be starting their party pieces round about now, I reckon. Wanda, jokes aside ... what the stars is going on?’

  ‘Have you got a mobile phone? I need to borrow it. I’ll give it back, I swear.’

  He handed me the phone from his back pocket, and I ran out through the door, calling my mother and explaining it all.

  ≈

  Despite my sense of impending doom, I couldn’t help but notice that even in blurred vision (because I was running very fast) the town looked amazing. Enchanted pumpkins and turnips danced in the air, lighting the whole place up. A few early-rising ghosts had begun to walk into town from the graveyard, and were sitting chatting on benches, or knocking into the houses of their loved ones. There were sparkling pools and barrels of apples everywhere, ripe for the random bobbing.

  At the sound of a sudden scream coming from the community hall, I quickened my pace. I mean, my lungs were only slightly on fire, so why not send them all the way there? As I bashed through the doors, though, the scream had turned to applause.

  ‘Thank you, Davy, for that brilliant rendition of the screams of terror in Transylvania!’ said Arthur Albright, grinning at the little boy who was stepping down off the stage, proudly clutching an enormous box of chocolates. ‘And next up,’ Arthur went on, ‘I want you all to give a round of applause for the weredog children.’ He looked down at his cards. ‘And the first weredog has a real treat to perform for us. Little Carrie Dalton is about to show us how, in a line-up of people, she can identify the postman by smell alone.’

  A group of men and women lined up on the stage, and a little girl walked forward.

  The aisles were full of parents taking pictures of their kids, and people oohing and aahing about how cute those kids were. My voice just didn’t seem to be making itself heard, no matter how loud I called out. But there was time. Carrie was only beginning to perform, and the vampire kid was just opening his box of chocolates. I reached him as he was about to put the first into his mouth.

  ‘Spit it out!’ I screamed, grabbing him.

  The little vampire gave me a cheeky grin, and swallowed.

  I moved to his back, preparing to do the Heimlich manoeuvre. ‘The chocolate is poisoned with Jinx!’ I cried out to the entire hall. ‘We need a healer. Please.’

  No one heard me. They were all too busy clapping as Carrie correctly identified the postman.

  ‘Well done, Carrie,’ Arthur’s voice boomed. ‘Sharon.’ He turned to a girl at the side of the stage. ‘Can you bring a nice big box of chocolates for Carrie?’

  I wished to the goddess I had my magic. As I continued to Heimlich the vampire, I screamed out at the top of my lungs. ‘Everyone! Listen to me!’

  ‘Wanda?’ Arthur finally heard my roar. ‘Are you all right?’

  The hall quietened down, and everyone’s eyes turned to me. ‘No. Something’s not right here.’ I looked at the waitress. ‘Don’t give Carrie a box. Don’t give a single kid any of that chocolate. Not until my coven gets here to test it.’

  A glamorously dressed young woman stood up from a seat at the front. A young woman with blonde hair, green eyes, and a ridiculously perky nose.

  ‘About sixty kids have already eaten the chocolate, you big eejit,’ said Mandy Parker. ‘I think we’d know by now if it was poisoned.’

  I looked down at Davy. Sure enough, he looked about as healthy as a small, wan, vampire child could look.

  ‘But ...’

  ‘Oh, and by the way,’ Mandy added. ‘You have seaweed on your shoulder.’

  The crowd began to shift uncertainly in their seats. Two weredogs at the back of the audience stood up. ‘I think we should listen to Wanda,’ said the woman.

  The little girl called Carrie looked at her. ‘But Mam! I want the chocolate.’

  Arthur began furiously cleaning his glasses. ‘Well, I ... I mean, if Wanda wants to check things out, then we should check things out. Just to be on the safe side.’

  ‘Oh, come on now.’ I turned at the sound of a voice I recognised. It was Majella, the Peacemaker who had been on Wyrd News in the Afternoon. ‘It’s like Mandy Parker said – dozens of kids have already eaten the chocolate. Go on, Sharon. Give the poor kid a sweetie. She’s done her trick. Surely she deserves her treat.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s fine, Sharon,’ said Mandy Parker. ‘I mean, I know who I’d trust if it came down to it. Certainly not Wanda Wayfair.’

  Sharon gave Mandy the kind of simpering look that told me she was a fan. Even though Mr Albright said, ‘I think you should listen to Wanda, Sharon,’ Sharon began to walk forward anyway.

  It was then that I noticed Will, standing up beside Mandy and raising a brow. It must have been the madness of the moment, because I really thought that he seemed concerned.

  Will looked from Mandy to me, and then he did something completely unexpected. He pointed at Sharon and said, ‘Conáil.’

  As Sharon froze mid-walk, my mother, Ronnie, Christine and Finn appeared in the hall. I let out a breath of relief as Ronnie marched forward and took a box off Sharon’s tray. Her eyes widened. She nodded at my mother, who waved her hands and said, ‘Lock this hall, until I say, so no one here, may run away.’

  I heard the sound of doors magically bolting.

  ‘I’ve placed an Insitu spell around this whole place,’ my mother said, making her voice boom throughout the hall. ‘Only Wayfairs can get in or out unless I say otherwise.’

  ‘Can you speak?’ Ronnie asked Sharon.

  Sharon tried to nod, her neck making an odd crackling sound as she did so. ‘Yes. Just about.’

  ‘Do you work for Forever Friends Sweets and Treats?’

  Sharon nodded again. She cleared her throat. ‘Y-yes. Majella just hired me the other day. She and Maeve had me and a few others collect the chocolate from Maeve’s house and bring it here.’ Sharon began to shake. ‘Oh my stars. She labelled each and every box for the particular supernatural kids they were to go to. I thought ... I thought it was because maybe the different kids had different tastes.’ She was unfreezing as she spoke, and tears began to spill from her eyes. ‘I swear ...if I’d known then I never would have...’

  Ronnie looked at Finn, but he was already on it. Within a second he had Majella bound. At the same time, my mother took hold of Maeve. She had looked so friendly in the photo on Max’s phone, but seeing her in the flesh was an altogether different experience. Her eyes had a dull, hard stare about them.

  I looked away from her, unable to believe the callousness that she radiated. She made me feel sick to my stomach. Judging by the shocked gasps and pale faces of everyone else in the hall, I wasn’t the only one. Carrie had her arms wrapped around her mother’s legs, while her father was patting her hair and mouthing, ‘Thank you,’ at me.

  I glanced at Will. Mandy had dragged him back down into his seat and had his hand clasped firmly in hers. She was fuming, hissing words at him that I couldn’t hear. I shook my head and looked away. If she was actually going to be angry that he had helped to save a child today, then that was her (very big) problem.

  ‘You and Maeve were in on this together all along?’ Finn said to Majella. ‘How the hell did you actually think you were going to get away with it? You own the chocolate company. And your family own Aherne’s Apothecary. It was hardly a master-course in covering your tracks.’

  Within her bonds, she just about managed to shrug. ‘Why do you think we broke the chocolate-maker and the glorified dog out of Witchfield? We were going to say they broke into Maeve’s and poisoned the batch.’

  ‘But then why get them arrested in the first place?’

  Majella and Maeve both began to laugh, but it was Maeve who answered. ‘Well, I just wanted to make Lassie’s life as hellish as possible, quite frankly. Seeing as her and her st
inking mother made my father’s life hell. He had to sneak around, keep his relationship secret – all to protect a pair of dogs. But Majella here, she was always in it for the cause. She wanted to give you a little lesson, Captain Plimpton. Show you just how many of your Peacemakers are on our side. To prove that we could break out anyone we like, at any time we like, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.’

  ‘Oh, and I guarantee you,’ added Majella. ‘Most of the people in this hall feel the same as we do about weredogs. You might get to arrest us today, but you’re fighting a losing battle.’

  I couldn’t see Finn’s face through his helmet, but judging by the way his body sagged, I guessed he was just as disturbed as I was by what the girls were saying.

  As he and Christine snapped their fingers and exited the hall with their prisoners, my mother came up onto the stage and picked yet another piece of seaweed out of my hair. ‘You look terrible, love.’

  ‘Gee, thanks. That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. What about Emily and Lassie?’

  She smiled softly. ‘All in hand. Gabriel and Agatha found them. We have everything from the cave, and all of the chocolate from this evening’s shindig. We’ve taken it all in for testing. You’ve done an amazing job, Wanda. But you can relax now. There’s nothing more for you to worry about. Oh, how did your test go?’

  21. Nothing Wrong With Letting Mammy Fight Your Battles

  Mizz Plimpton stood up from her seat in the crowd. ‘Well, seeing as I wasted a good hour or so of my life waiting in the Flying Club for her, I would say she most definitely failed.’

  My lashes began to flutter wildly. I was exhausted enough to cry, or scream. Or throttle the woman who gave teachers a bad name. ‘You sent me to the Precipice of Doom, you crazy witch! You know you did.’ I shook my head. ‘You know what, I don’t care.’ I turned to my mother. ‘Can we just go home, please?’

  She kissed my cheek softly. ‘In a little while, love. I’ve just realised there’s one more thing we have to do first. Wait here for me.’ She smiled at Max as he jumped up on the stage. ‘Look after Wanda for a minute, would you love?’