Riding High

by Zara Stoneley

  “If you’re going to keep coming out with crap then I’m not saying any more.”

  “But how could he feel obligated? Which century was he living in exactly?”

  “Finished? Right. Well, he was nice, kind, looked after me and, yes, for your information we had a sex life, and it was fine.”

  “That word again.”

  “Oh, fuck off. It was just normal, polite sex that we had when we wanted, and that was all we expected from a marriage. Like most people do.”

  “Vanilla?”

  “Yes, bloody vanilla. Not even a cherry on the top, okay? Which was what I wanted, what most people want.”

  “No, they don’t. I…” It had been on the tip of his tongue to say he didn’t. But then his marriage had been far from normal, and far from good. “It wasn’t really what you wanted, was it?”

  “We were married, Saul.” She sighed. “Maybe if we’d, you know, done more before we got married, we might have realized that…”

  “He didn’t know how to shag you properly?”

  “Don’t be crude.”

  “Look, most people don’t just accept boring anymore; they go off having affairs when it gets boring, which is why this type of business is popular. Not everyone wants to be unfaithful or have a divorce. They like what they’ve got; it just needs fine-tuning.”

  “Wow, what a great analogy. Tune me up before I run off. Look, no amount of therapy would have glued our problems together. Is that what you wanted to hear? Toby felt so bloody guilty in the end about being such a loser. He’d lost all his money, and we were living off mine, in what was really my place even if technically it was his. He was my dad’s puppet, marrying me, acting a part, and he felt so fucking inferior that it made him impotent. He couldn’t shag me; get that? Not even if his life depended on it. He couldn’t stand even trying because he’d just fail again. So off he went buying women, women he could control, a situation he could play God in. No one to judge him, tell him he was a failure. And the more he did it, the more he probably felt guilty. He’d spent his money, then he spent mine on shagging other women. Right? So, yeah, I believe you—sex sells, people pay for the Promised Land—but I’m not sure I believe in it anymore.”

  “Phewee, I suppose I did ask.”

  “You did.” She started slowly unraveling the twist of hair that had wrapped tighter and tighter around her finger.

  “But I still don’t get how you could live like that. You like sex, you come alive when you’re…” He was starting to sound like some unfeeling bastard again; he forced his voice back down a level.

  “What? Shagging like a rabbit? Yeah, I like sex, sex with you if that’s what you’re fishing for.”

  He laughed then, he couldn’t help it. “I wasn’t fishing. It’s just you can have lust and love in a marriage. Christ, Roisin, I know you’re buried in the countryside, but…”

  “Yeah, I know, but no one says it has to be like that.” She shrugged. “Look, it doesn’t matter.” The soft tone brought a lump to his throat. “It was fine. It was easy to live with. Maybe it was just a case of us trying to please other people instead of doing what was right for us.”

  “It bloody does matter.” But who was he to judge? Maybe her solution had been better than his, emotionless, secure. Except she hadn’t been any more secure than he had. “You weren’t happy, were you?”

  “I was okay until I found out about the other women; he was behaving like a complete twat. In fact, he was doing exactly what my dad did. What kind of a relationship is that?” She gave a short bark of a laugh. “Why should he have had all the fun?”

  Exactly. “Not the kind for you, or anyone else.” He brought his mouth closer to her quavering lips. Ran his tongue over them to still them. He had to. That was all he was doing, until the taste of her need met his. He forced himself to stop, pull back.

  “You do know I can’t stay here, can’t promise you anything.” Staying meant answering questions. “I don’t want you thinking I’m a complete twat as well.”

  “Good, I don’t want you to, and I’ll try not to think you are.” Her soft words registered dimly, but his mind was following her hands. Hands that were opening his fly, releasing his throbbing cock; hands that were like soft, cool silk against his heat.

  “Roisin.”

  “Shh.”

  “Shit.” He closed his eyes as her hand glided down his shaft with a firm touch that made his balls ache; balls that she soon cupped with her other hand. She squeezed and he groaned, a groan that seemed to spur her on. A groan that made her drop her head and wrap her lips around him, her warm, wet mouth making him thrust involuntarily. Her throat clutched at the tip of him as she gagged, then he felt her relax, take him deeper into her soft warmth. One firm finger traced along his perineum, sending a rush of blood straight to his already throbbing cock. His fingers tightened in her hair as he thrust into her mouth. This time she was ready; this time she had her throat open and let him pump deeper, let him do the work as she massaged behind his balls, her hand fisting and rolling against him. She was matching his rhythm, letting him thrust deeper into her mouth, letting him hold her head tight against him. “Shit.” One last plunge was all he could manage, and all he could think as his fingers pressed deeper into her scalp was that she was his. Then he was coming and she was sucking him, lapping and suckling as she massaged around his aching balls as though all she wanted was every last drop of his come.

  He leaned back against the table, slowly straightened himself. She sat back on the chair, her green eyes eating him up. She didn’t smile. Just looked at him as though she was working something out. He ran a hand through his hair. Did she really mean “good” when he’d said he couldn’t stay?

  Chapter 6

  “I can’t really say no, can I?” It was the perfect business plan, built on a few years’ experience with realistic projections. She could see why Saul was convinced that the income from it would be good, and it would give her an extra income of her own on top of what came in from the riding school. It would mean she could stay here, fight another day, and keep the light glowing at the distant end of a long, long tunnel, the light that said one day she might get this place back.

  “Well, you can, but I think you’d be a fool. Unless it’s too close for comfort and you want to walk away?”

  She didn’t want to walk away. She didn’t want to let what her father and Toby had done destroy her. But signing on the dotted line, signing this deal, bound them together. Her and Saul, for better or worse. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to be bound to anyone else ever again. Even if just looking at him made her turn into a meringuey mess inside.

  “I run the business?”

  “You look after it day to day for me.”

  For me. Hmm, that said it all, didn’t it?

  “And I can carry on with my riding school exactly as I do now, no interference?”

  He nodded. “That’s your business; all I’m bothered about is that you can afford to pay this rent.” He pointed at the figures.

  “And where’s my option to buy the place back? How do I know you’ll let me?”

  “You don’t.” He smiled a thin smile. “You’ll have to trust me, but I give you my word that, after twelve months, if you can raise the money then I’ll sell to you.”

  “Even if the business is making a fortune?”

  “Especially if.” He smiled, properly this time. “Dan and Marie are running that business for me, remember. I’ll still have the income from it even if you revert to owning the property. And I assume you’ll still let us lease the accommodation we need?”

  “Maybe.” She grinned.

  “Ah, I can see I might have to put a clause in place to safeguard my interests.”

  “You’re good at that, aren’t you? Safeguarding your interests.”

  “Very.” Which nagged at her mind like it should ha
ve worried her. But it didn’t.

  ***

  It was almost as if making a decision had transformed her; there was something within her that hadn’t been before, something he wanted to quantify, to remember. But he couldn’t quite pinpoint it, couldn’t quite pull the elusive fragments together to make sense of.

  Maybe it was just confidence, relief. She was spot on, though, he was good at safeguarding his interests, always had been, until he’d fallen for the oldest trick in the book and got involved, got married. But that was in the past. Now he just had to prove to himself, prove to his dad that he wasn’t about to lose control again, ever. That this was a sound, logical business decision. Nothing more, nothing less. “Are we going to trust each other, then? They’ll be back any minute, so I need to know if you’re willing to stay and look after the business for me.”

  The tumble of curls trembled around her as she slowly nodded. “I’ll stay.” Then the smallest, sneakiest of smiles broke over her serious features. She had a naughty side, he knew, and it was almost like she’d decided to do more than sign a business deal, as though she’d decided to take a risk and explore the other side of herself.

  “You can handle it?”

  “I can handle it, and I can handle you…Partner.”

  “Boss?”

  “Don’t push it.”

  “Maybe if you called me sir?”

  “In your dreams—or should that be in your wet dreams…Sir.”

  “I can see I’m going to have trouble with you. Might have to introduce some lessons of my own.” He pulled her close, cupping her bum so that she nestled between his hips; so she could feel his cock, which had just discovered it wanted a bit of the action. “And I might have to sort you out before I have to head back down south.” He wasn’t sure he really wanted to go; he could stay and thrash this out. Literally. Shag her until this stupid obsession for her disappeared. Or he could just fight it, set the rules out now. Which was probably safer, and definitely more sensible.

  ***

  Roisin could see why Dan and Marie were so successful. The sex industry might not impress her bank manager, but their approach would. Which, sadly, hers didn’t.

  Saul had efficiently subdivided the property into what she was renting, and what Dan and Marie would use. The groom’s flat above one of the stable blocks would be their home. Once, when the stables had been thriving, she’d needed somewhere for her staff to stay, and the flat had been a good investment. But once the money had started to go out faster than it came in, so had the staff. These days, she was the staff. Apart from a teenage girl from the village who helped muck out.

  “What about change of use? You can’t just run a different business here.”

  “Sorted.” Saul bundled the signed papers away as she cleared away the coffee cups, and felt the swirl of relief tumble uncomfortably with anxiety in her stomach.

  “Sorted, just like that?” It had only just occurred to her, but obviously not to him. Which was why she was in a mess and he was in control. Of the home she didn’t own anymore, of her life. Everything. For now, just for now, she promised herself. But it didn’t make sense: the town council, county council, whoever—they didn’t agree to change of use on a property just like that. They were awkward, old-fashioned.

  “Well, maybe not quite just like that, but that was one of the things I confirmed with my people yesterday on the phone. I wouldn’t have suggested the scheme otherwise.”

  “But I thought you’d only just thought of it.”

  “More or less, but it’s definitely going through. They’ll be moving up in the next day or two, and aiming to start up business within the next few weeks.”

  “But…You’re sure? It takes months.”

  He laughed. “I’m sure, Roisin. It’s my money at risk, remember?”

  So that was it. Dan and Marie would be rolling up, discreetly they’d assured her. And Saul—Saul would be disappearing. Hopefully for a while, long enough for her to get control and forget what wild sex was like, if that was possible with the constant reminder of strangers in the yard in search of sex therapy. What had she just done? How the hell was she going to explain to the villagers what was going on?

  “Stop worrying. It’s out of your hands now.” He reached past her for the bottle of wine.

  “But I…”

  “Stop, now.” He pulled her closer to him. And it was something about his firmness, something about the way he knew just how to hold her, something about his voice. She felt herself stiffen against him. That video—she’d felt stupid thinking it was him. It couldn’t be him. But all of a sudden it felt like things she didn’t want to think about were falling into place.

  “Saul?”

  “What?” That hint of command in his voice, the tone she’d never noticed before, but was suddenly recognizable as him.

  “That was you; it was you, wasn’t it? Why? Why were you there?” Panic started to bubble deep inside her. It had been him, on that video. This wasn’t just a business deal for him, something else was going on. And he had a wife. Shit.

  “What was me?” She could hear a wary edge in his voice, which said he knew exactly what was coming.

  “That video, you were in that video I was watching. What is it about men and filming themselves shagging?” This was Toby all over again, but for some reason it felt worse.

  “Yes. Yup, it was me.” His voice had a hollow ring now, an abrupt edge he couldn’t disguise that made her stomach swirl. “I wondered how long it would take before you realized.”

  “Well, why didn’t you bloody tell me?” The words caught in her throat in a mix of anger and something she didn’t want to put a label to. “I was watching you.” This couldn’t be real.

  “It didn’t seem important.”

  “Not important? You’ve got a fucking wife and it’s not important.” She was heading toward hysteria at a rate of knots and she bit down on her lip to stop the flow of words. It shouldn’t matter to her. It couldn’t matter. It wasn’t important. He was a one-night stand—with a “too tired to care” clause.

  She heard the bottle go down with a heavy clunk. “It was a long time ago. Years ago, another life, and it’s got nothing to do with you and now.”

  “You’re married.” I was watching you spank your wife.

  He sighed; his grip on her tightened. “I was married. I’m not now.”

  “This has been your business all along, hasn’t it? It’s all about you and your fucking money, and I’m just some idiot who got in the way.” His hands burned her arms as she tried to pull free, strong hands that didn’t give an inch. She was pressed hard against his body, a body with a warming, heavy musk that she didn’t want to like anymore, that she had to get away from.

  “No, Roisin, stop it and listen, for God’s sake. I wasn’t involved; it’s just coincidence that I met Dan and Marie again.”

  “Bollocks, you expect me to believe that?”

  “Believe what you want, but I’m telling you. I was just a client when that footage was shot—or rather, she was.”

  “A client? What do you mean? What kind of client?”

  “What the hell kind do you think? We were trying to sort things out between us.” His voice rumbled in his chest, resonated through her body as he held her tight against him.

  Her jaw tightened, fighting the lump in her throat. “What things?”

  “What do you think?” The hairs on the back of her neck rose at his harsh, short laugh.

  “But it didn’t work?”

  “What my ex-wife wanted was far more extreme than anything I’ve ever had a taste for. That video was just a lukewarm appetizer for her. She wanted a buzz, the thrill of danger, and I couldn’t give it to her. Look, do we have to talk about this?”

  “You wanted to sort things out?” She closed her eyes. In a strange way, being pinned against him made
it easier to just carry on asking things she shouldn’t care about.

  “Doesn’t everyone at first? Until you realize you’re just being used.”

  “You wouldn’t just let yourself be used.”

  He sighed. “I didn’t realize what was really happening until afterward. Being involved makes you like that. Stupid.” He sounded angry now; his grip had stiffened until his fingers were almost biting into her. “She dragged me along to this therapy session, pretending that she wanted mediation, wanted us to work things out. But it was just her way of introducing me to her world. She wanted pain and punishment; she didn’t want love and affection. Everything physical but no mental involvement. She wanted me to hurt her, give her pain, because pain turned her on, made her powerful, and watching me fight it turned her on even more. That kind of stuff is supposed to be about trust and sharing, but oh no, not for Bianca. She was a cow, a stupid, spiteful cow who was never satisfied.” Each word stabbed away at something she couldn’t imagine. “I should have known by the way she reacted, the way she dived straight in. Dan tried to be diplomatic, but I wasn’t listening. He knew she was being destructive, knew she wasn’t there to improve things between us. But I just ignored it, until he refused to help anymore.”

  She felt her body relax slightly against him. “Oh.” Fuck, was that all she could come up with? But what was she supposed to say?

  “I thought she was everything I ever wanted when she came along, but I was just her bit of rough. Obviously not rough enough, though; when I wasn’t prepared to hit her hard enough, she went and found someone who would. That woman tried to destroy me financially, and then she tried to destroy every other bit of me, and believe me, nobody is ever going to do that to me again.” She tried to ease her arm from a grip that was now uncomfortable and he suddenly seemed to realize what he’d been doing. He loosened his hold abruptly, rubbed his thumb over the reddened skin. “Sorry.” The gruff voice bit at something deep inside. She’d never heard anyone say sorry like that before. His warm lips came down on the spot in a caress that made her shiver. “Sorry, Roisin. It’s got nothing to do with you. I shouldn’t…”