Where Leads the Heart

by Colleen Coble;D. Barbour

  “It’ll look better come spring,” the old soldier consoled.

  Jacob piled their luggage together in a heap, then accosted a nearby soldier. “Could you tell me where we might find Captain Rand Campbell?”

  “Well don’t this beat the Dutch.” The soldier had a friendly, smiling face. “You’ve gotta be Jacob. You look enough like your brother to be two peas out of the same pod.” The soldier stuck out a large callused hand. “Isaac Liddle’s my name, and Rand’s my bunky.”

  Jacob shook his hand vigorously. “Mighty glad to meet you. Got any idea where that rascal brother of mine is?”

  “Probably at mess. Bugle sounded a few minutes ago. I was headed there myself. Just follow me.”

  Shivering as much from nerves as from the cold, Sarah took Joel’s hand and trailed behind Jacob and Amelia. She felt as though her entire future hung in the balance. She could hear shouts of laughter emanating from the officer’s mess hall, and her stomach rumbled hungrily as the wind brought a mouth-watering aroma of stew to her nose.

  The room was brightly lit with dozens of lanterns and the general feeling of high spirits and fellowship warmed her as much as the heat rolling from the pot-bellied stove in the center of the room. Her green eyes scanned the room quickly as their presence in the room caused the babble of voices to soften, then still. She caught sight of Rand sitting at the far table next to two women. Her first impulse was to call out his name and run to him, but the expression on his face as he gazed at the young redheaded woman stopped her. Sarah didn’t like the dazed smile on his face or the possessive hand the woman had on his arm. She gulped as he looked up and saw them.

  Rand rose slowly to his feet as the small party neared. “Sarah? And Jacob! I didn’t expect you, Jacob, not for at least another week or two.” He grabbed his brother’s hand and pumped it, then hugged Amelia and Joel but didn’t touch Sarah. “Hello, Sarah.”

  “Who are all these folks, Rand?” The redheaded woman stood and slid her hand into the crook of Rand’s arm, and Sarah caught a whiff of her perfume. Some exotic flowery scent she couldn’t place. “Introduce me to your friends,” the woman purred.

  “Jessica, this is my brother Jacob, his wife Amelia, and,” he hesitated, then continued. “And some friends from back home, Sarah Montgomery and her brother Joel.”

  “Pleased to meet you all,” Jessica said with a seductive smile. “I’ve heard all about you, Jacob. Rand tells me you’re the county boxing champion.” Her smile deepened into a dimple as she looked at Jacob. “I’m Jessica DuBois and this is my mother, Mrs. Major DuBois.”

  The address sounded strange to Sarah, but she was aware that was how wives were addressed in the army. And Sarah thought she’d never seen anyone more lovely than the young woman on Rand’s arm. Jessica had deep blue eyes and deep red hair that shimmered in the candlelight. Her skin was almost translucent, with a pale pink tint to her high cheekbones and full lips. Jessica’s mother was a blurred image of her daughter with softer, plumper lines and a gentle expression.

  “Please call me Letty, dear,” the older woman murmured. “Everyone does.” She smiled at Amelia and Sarah. “I’m so glad to have two other women here at Laramie. We must get together for tea tomorrow. We ladies have to stick together. It helps the time go by. And you all are here just in time to help plan the wedding.”

  “Wedding?” Sarah looked at Rand. “Whose wedding?”

  “Why mine and Rand’s, of course.” Jessica hit Rand on the arm with her fan. “Why, you bad boy, haven’t you told your family about us yet?”

  “They had probably left Wabash by the time my letter got there,” Rand said, his eyes on Sarah’s face.

  Sarah felt as though she were falling. She couldn’t catch her breath. How could he? How could he come out and get engaged in less than two months? She fought down the tight tears in her throat as she gripped Amelia’s hand. She didn’t want to give the other woman the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Did she know Sarah had once been engaged to Rand?

  “Congratulations,” Jacob said after an awkward pause. “I had no idea you were seeing anyone, Rand.”

  “I think a kiss for your new sister-in-law-to-be is in order,” Jessica said. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Jacob lingeringly on the lips. Sarah saw Amelia clench her jaw.

  “Rand, we’re really tired,” Amelia said through tight lips. “Could you see about finding us a place to stay tonight?”

  “The quartermaster is by the door. Come with me, Jacob, and we’ll get you all fixed up.”

  “My goodness,” Jessica said as the men walked away. “You and I are certainly lucky ladies, Amelia. Those are some men we have.” She didn’t seem aware of the undercurrent of tension as she turned to Sarah. “Have you known Rand long yourself? I knew as soon as I set eyes on him, I was going to marry him.”

  “All my life,” Sarah said, ignoring her last statement.

  Joel tugged on Sarah’s arm. “How can Rand marry that lady when he’s going to marry you?”

  Jessica choked on her coffee. “Why, whatever does the boy mean?” she asked.

  Sarah went scarlet with mortification. She had wanted to preserve her dignity if she could. “Rand and I were engaged before the war,” she admitted.

  “Oh, I see,” Jessica said with a long look at Sarah’s face. She narrowed her eyes. “You lost him. Well, let me tell you, I don’t intend to lose him. Don’t think you can waltz in here and take him back. We’re getting married in June, and I won’t allow anyone or anything to interfere with my plans.”

  Sarah gasped and choked back an angry retort. She was a new creature now, she had to remind herself. God was in control of this situation, too. “Rand and I have been friends all our lives,” she said quietly. “If you are the woman he wants, I want to be friends with you, too.” She could sense Amelia’s silent approval of her soft answer.

  Jessica frowned, uncertain how to respond to the gentle answer. “Well, uhm, that’s fine then,” she finally muttered ungraciously as Jacob hurried back over to them.

  “We’re all fixed up,” Jacob announced. “Let’s go get settled. Rand is going to bring us over some stew after we get cleaned up.”

  “You just remember what I said,” Jessica murmured as Sarah turned to follow the men out of the mess hall. “I never give up anything that belongs to me.” She flounced back to the table with her mother.

  Sarah felt numb as she held onto her skirts and followed the little party across the windy parade ground. How could all her hopes and dreams end like this? What could she do? Was this God’s plan?

  Rand led them to an adobe building. “Captain Leeks lives on the other side with his family, but his family never stays here in the winter. His wife and two sons will be back in May.” He opened the door and led them into a narrow hall that opened onto a small, cheerless parlor. The room was cold and barren with plain plank floors. It smelled musty from disuse but had a lingering odor of smoke and soot. Rand knelt at the fireplace and poked at the logs. “I’ll have it warmed up in no time.” He got the fire going, then stood. “I’ll leave you to get cleaned up. I’ll be back in about an hour with some supper for you.” He grinned. “Cooky likes me. When he hears we have two new ladies, he’ll be glad to whip up something.”

  “We need to talk,” Sarah said. She stared at him, her green eyes direct.

  Rand avoided her eyes. “I’ll be back later. We’ll talk then.”

  “Now, please.”

  Rand sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Sarah, you need to unpack and get settled in. And we need to talk in private.”

  He was right, Sarah knew. She sighed and turned away. She knew it was a vain hope to think there might be some good explanation for what had happened. Rand was engaged to another woman. What was there to explain? It was pretty self-explanatory. No wonder he wasn’t anxious to discuss it with her. Was this the same man she’d known all her life?

  In the tiny kitchen there was a Sibley stove that Jacob soon had blazing. The
warmth crept into the room and seeped into Sarah’s cold skin, but nothing could reach the icy despair in her heart. A battered kettle sat on the stove. Sarah rinsed it with water from the bucket a private brought to the back door. First they’d have a cup of tea and then see to bathing the road dust off their sore bodies. She felt as though the fine yellow grit was in every pore of her body. She could even taste its gritty presence in her throat. She looked around the small quarters. Only one small bedroom opened off the kitchen. Where could they all sleep?

  “I’ll bring over a couple more bunks,” Jacob said. “We can put one in the parlor and use it for a sofa during the day. You can sleep there, Sarah. I’ll put another one in the entry for Joel, and everyone will have a little privacy. Just for tonight, you and Amelia can sleep in the bedroom, and Joel and I will put up in the barracks.” He hauled the hip bath down off its peg on the wall and set it in the small bedroom. He sent the private down to the river to haul some more water for bathing.

  Even with several kettles of boiling water added, the bath water was barely tepid, so they all bathed quickly. They were all ravenous by the time Rand brought over a steaming kettle of stew and bread. They wolfed down their supper in ten minutes.

  Jacob yawned. “I’m beat. I think the rest of us will turn in if you and Sarah want to talk, Rand.”

  Rand nodded reluctantly. “See you in the morning,” he said.

  “Can I look at your saber?” Joel asked between yawns.

  “In the morning.” Rand grinned at Joel’s crestfallen expression and ruffled his hair. “You guys get some sleep. When you’re rested, I’ll show you around your new home tomorrow.”

  Joel and Jacob said a quick farewell and headed out for the barracks. Amelia smiled encouragingly at Sarah before slipping off to the bedroom. Sarah waited until the door to the bedroom was closed, then turned her green eyes up to Rand. “How could you do this, Rand? It hasn’t even been two months since you asked me to come out here with you. Does your love die so quickly?” The pent-up hurt and betrayal burst out of her before she could consider her words.

  Rand raked a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. He tightened his lips and squared his shoulders before answering. “I like army life, Sarah. The adventure, the sense of doing something worthwhile with my life. Something that affects other people besides just my family. I want to be part of taming the West for my country. And Jessica will make an excellent army wife. She’s lived on frontier forts most of her life. It hurt when you didn’t love me enough to leave your family for me. Jessica will go wherever I’m sent without a complaint. She understands soldiers and their duties.”

  “You can’t tell me this is just a marriage of convenience! I saw the way you were looking at her when we arrived. And if you are just using her, what kind of a man have you turned into, Rand?”

  “I care about her,” Rand admitted. “She was here when I was hurting over your rejection. She let me know right off how she felt. I needed someone and she was there. And like I said, she’ll make a good army wife. What are you doing here, anyway? You said you’d never leave Indiana.”

  “Papa’s dead.” She regretted her bald words as soon as she saw the hurt and shock register on his face. She softened her tone. “His heart just—gave out.”

  “Oh, Sarah.” He ran a hand through his thick hair. “I really loved your pa. He was like a father to me.”

  “He loved you, too,” she said softly. “He spoke of you just before he died.”

  “He did?”

  She nodded. “He was gone just a few minutes after we’d talked. He told me—” She broke off and bit her lip.

  “He told you what?”

  “He urged me to fight for you.”

  Rand sighed. “Is that why you’re here? Now that he’s gone and you don’t have anything else to do?”

  Sarah bit her lip. What should she tell him? Slowly she nodded. “I was coming before he died. I was making plans when I heard the shouts at the house. His death actually delayed my arrival by several weeks.”

  “You’re a little late.”

  “So I see,” she said. “You’re not the same man I’ve loved for so long. Where did he go?”

  “He died in the war,” Rand said stiffly.

  Sarah laid a hand on his arm. “Rand, you won’t be happy with this kind of life. I’ve discovered in the past few weeks how important it is to let God lead me. If I hadn’t been determined to run my own life, I wouldn’t have been deceived by Ben.”

  “You sound like Isaac,” Rand blurted before he could stop himself.

  “Isaac is a Christian?” she asked.

  He nodded. “He’s been a good friend. And I have to admit I sometimes wonder what’s the right thing to do with my life. But I don’t think God bothers with our daily lives. I believe He’s out there somewhere, but I don’t think He cares what we do. We just use our own ingenuity to live our lives as best we can.”

  Sarah shook her head. “Your grandma would wallop you if she heard you say such a thing.”

  Rand grinned. “Probably. But it’s how I feel. If God ever speaks to me directly, maybe I’ll listen.”

  “It may be too late, then.”

  “I’ll just have to take that chance,” he said firmly.

  “Do you love Jessica?” Her face felt so stiff she could barely move her lips. She had to know the answer, but her heart pounded with fear.

  “Not like I loved you. But she’s been good to me. And she’s very sweet and kind. I can’t just throw her off like a busted saddle.”

  Sarah stared at him incredulously. Sweet and kind? He must see something she didn’t. “Then there’s nothing more to say. I’ll try not to bother you too much. You’d better go now.” Her eyes burning with tears, she stepped away.

  He hesitated, then nodded. “I guess you’re right. I’m sorry, Green Eyes.”

  Don’t call me that, she wanted to shout. You’re not the same man who nicknamed me that. But she said nothing. He picked up his coat and left silently. As the door shut behind him, she let tears fall.

  nine

  Reveille sounded at five, but Rand was already awake. Jacob and Joel were sleepily pulling on their overalls and boots when he strode in to check on them. “Hurry up or you’ll miss the cold slop we call breakfast,” Rand said with a grin.

  “How’s the Indian situation?” Jacob poured icy water out of a battered tin pitcher into a chipped bowl and splashed his eyes, bleary from lack of sleep. A group of soldiers had been up playing cards all night, and their loud talk and laughter had made sleep difficult. Most of them had already cleared out of the long room lined with bunks, but the odor of hair tonic and dirty socks still lingered.

  “Bad. And likely to get worse. The Bureau of Indian Affairs has really botched things. Every agent they’ve sent sets out to line his pockets with what belongs to the Indians. Once one gets rich enough, he goes back east and another comes to start the same process all over again.” Rand shook his head. “And it’s really explosive up in the Powder River area. Quite a few miners have been killed trying to get to the gold fields.”

  “Much hostility around here?”

  “Not really. A few skirmishes. There’s mostly tame Oglala Sioux and friendly Brule’. Most of the wild Oglala are with Red Cloud at Powder River.”

  “The girls will be relieved to hear that.”

  “I was just about to check on them.” Rand paused. “I’m sure glad you’re here, Big Jacob. You’re going to love this country.”

  The smell of impending snow freshened the air and the frigid wind stung their cheeks as they hurried across the parade ground toward the light spilling out the front window of the house. It looked warm and welcoming in the somber darkness of the predawn morning. Their breath made frosty plumes in the air, and their boots crunched against the frozen ground as they waved and called morning greetings to the soldiers heading toward the mess hall, most of them shrouded in buffalo robes against the cold. The trumpet’s call to breakfast carried clearl
y in the cold, clear air.

  §

  Sarah’s heart was heavy as she finished dressing. Rand and Jacob should be here any moment and she didn’t know how she should act. She wasn’t sure what she should do. She couldn’t go back home. Wade would just get up to his old tricks again. She turned as she heard the men thump up the porch steps and ran to unlock the door. “Good morning,” she smiled, anxiously searching Rand’s face.

  Rand avoided her eyes. “Breakfast is going to be over if you two don’t hurry up.”

  “We’re almost ready. Let me finish my hair. Jacob, why don’t you take Amelia and Joel and go on ahead?” Sarah’s words were mumbled through a mouthful of hairpins. She had deliberately dawdled over her toilet so she might have a few moments alone with Rand.

  With a quick, understanding glance, Amelia drew on her navy cape and followed Jacob and Joel out the door. Sarah finished her hair with a few quick thrusts of well-placed hairpins, then looked up at Rand. “Have you thought about what we talked about last night?”

  “Sarah, what do you want me to say? It’s too late. All the regrets in the world won’t change the situation.” He looked away and swallowed hard. “We both know it’s over. Unless of course you’re looking for a new fellow.” He clipped the words out. “There’s plenty willing I’m sure. It’s so rare for the men to see any unattached women—you’ll probably have a dozen proposals before the week is over.”

  Stung by his words, Sarah tossed her head. “Don’t worry that I’m going to embarrass you with unwanted attentions. I had hoped we could at least be friends.”

  “As long as you don’t expect anything more from me. Jacob said he’d probably be sent to one of the northern forts come late spring or early summer, so I reckon we can be civil to one another for a few months.” He picked up her cloak from the foot of the bed and held it out to her courteously. “Now I think we’d best be heading over to mess. As I recall, you’re always hungry in the morning—unless that’s changed, too.”