Under the Flame Tree

by Karen Wood

  ‘I don’t like Lisa.’

  ‘I don’t blame you.’ He lay there, staring at her with those discerning eyes, those eyes that scrutinised, asked questions and searched for answers. He seemed at war with himself.

  ‘Tell me,’ she said.

  ‘Tell you what?’

  ‘Whatever it is you’re hiding.’

  ‘What would I be hiding?’

  ‘Yourself. Who you really are.’

  ‘You might not like who I really am.’

  ‘Try me.’

  He propped up on one elbow and ran a finger lightly over the skin of her collarbone. Laces of ice and fire trailed behind it. Kirra’s blood beat so loudly she thought her heart would explode.

  ‘Waking up in that place. There was no light or colour, it just drained from my life. Everything turned to black and white. The fences were huge. I missed home so bad.’

  ‘Where was your family?’

  ‘They were a long way away,’ he answered.

  ‘Like where?’ asked Kirra, refusing to be brushed off. ‘You don’t talk about them. Did they visit you at all?’

  Daniel gave her that appraising stare again. ‘I asked them not to visit me.’

  ‘Because they were too far away?’

  ‘They were back at Rutherford.’

  ‘As in the station?’ It was a well-known property, covering thousands of hectares. Her dad used to break in Rutherford horses. The Ravels had even lived there for a few months when Kirra was about six years old.

  Daniel nodded. He still seemed hesitant. Again she waited.

  ‘That’s our place. Home.’

  ‘Isn’t that owned by some big cattle family or something?’

  ‘Rutherford Holdings.’

  ‘Do your family live there? Work there?’

  ‘They own it.’

  She must have had Rutherford mixed up with another place. Or she heard him wrong. ‘They own Rutherford?’

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘Your family owns Rutherford Holdings?’

  ‘There’s a few of us.’

  ‘What’s your surname again?’

  ‘Rutherford.’

  ‘As in . . .?’

  ‘Rutherford Holdings.’

  She let it sink in. Okay, so his family owned a large cattle station. Around her the birds still chirruped incessantly, weaving their noise into the music of the land. The trees still whispered in their own secret language. The world was the same place now that she knew who Daniel was and where he came from. Why had that been such a big secret?

  ‘Your dad came to our place to break in horses when I was a kid,’ Daniel continued. ‘I remember watching him. He had such an easy way with them. It was like magic. Not like how all the other breakers did it.’

  ‘The way you side-line the horses, that’s my dad’s way.’

  Daniel nodded.

  ‘No way.’ She shook her head in amazement.

  ‘Don’t you remember me?’

  The birds stopped tweeting in the trees and for a moment the breeze halted. The leaves fell silent. Her world shifted. ‘You’re DJ?’

  Daniel’s smile shattered everything in its path, namely Kirra’s heart. His dark eyes, tanned skin, the shape of his mouth when he smiled like that, it was DJ, only . . . now his features were more angular, blocky; he was ten years older.

  Mum’s yelling for me.

  I’m late for school.

  But all I want to do is stay outside and carve words into this tree. With DJ.

  DJ is funny and both his front teeth have fallen out already. He lives across the paddock in the boss’s big house where I’m not allowed to go.

  He is running across the paddock in his school blazer. I can hear his governess shouting for him to come back but he keeps running.

  He swings through the lower branches like a monkey and soon he is sitting on the branch next to me, dangling his dusty black shoes and reaching into his pocket. ‘Swap?’ He pulls out a blackcurrant and apple fruito bar. They’re my favourite. They’re chewy and taste like lollies.

  I frown because I have nothing to swap for it.

  His mum yells this time. His three brothers, all in the same suits, are hovering around a big blue car, waiting.

  ‘You can have it if you look after Rabbit for me.’

  Rabbit is his horse. Stupid name, I reckon.

  I promise to give Rabbit a carrot every day and DJ gives me the fruito bar.

  Before he jumps down he sees where I have scratched my name and some other words into the tree with a stick. He puts his hand over mine and guides it while he writes another word.

  ‘What does that say?’

  ‘Daniel,’ he says and jumps down from the tree.

  He lands on his feet. He’s awesome like that.

  ‘You’re different to other girls,’ he says and smiles at me so nice I feel like I’m going to flip over backwards and fall out of the tree.

  I watch him run back over the paddock, wishing he could stay. He will be gone for five sleeps. He always goes away for five sleeps and comes home for two sleeps. I always count the sleeps.

  21

  Kirra stared into his face, searching for traces of the boy she’d left behind ten years ago. ‘So . . . what are you doing at Moorinja?’

  ‘I’m on conditional release, with Nancy and Tom. They have to supervise me. That’s why I get the cottage, so I’m not in with the others.’

  She’d kind of guessed that already. ‘Why didn’t you just go home?’

  Daniel’s eyes dropped and his mouth tightened. Kirra figured his family weren’t impressed with him right now. She changed the subject.

  ‘Who is Lisa?’

  Daniel sat up and plucked at a length of grass in front of him. He tapped the end of his boot with the cylindrical seed head. It was repetitive, perfectly timed. Calculating.

  ‘I met her at Blackbrae. I worked there for a couple of months.’

  ‘Why didn’t you just work at Rutherford?’

  ‘I fought with Dad all the time. He wanted me to go to uni, do economics or something he never got to do when he was a kid. I hated school. I wanted to work outside, with my hands, with the stock. Still do. I took off, went and worked on as many properties as I could for about a year. I started breaking in horses – six weeks here, six weeks there. Blackbrae had trouble keeping staff, so it was easy to get work there.’

  Kirra looked at the small markings on Daniel’s forearms and biceps, below his short-sleeved shirt. They were cattle brands, a running W and a bull’s head, from the properties he had worked on, she guessed.

  She reached out, took him by the wrist and pushed up his sleeve, revealing the B sitting on an arc like the foot of a rocking chair. ‘B for Blackbrae,’ she said.

  He shook his head. ‘R for Rutherford.’

  ‘But . . .’

  Daniel looked at her questioningly. ‘What?’

  ‘Why does Lisa have one too?’

  He didn’t answer.

  ‘I thought you said she wasn’t your girlfriend.’

  ‘She’s not.’

  ‘Did she work there or something?’

  ‘No.’ Daniel’s jaw clamped tightly and started chewing at his teeth again. ‘It was where she was conceived.’

  ‘Conceived?’

  ‘Yeah, you know, like when her parents got together and . . .’ He trailed off.

  ‘Right,’ said Kirra wondering why that was significant enough to warrant tattooing yourself with a cattle brand.

  ‘Her mum worked there before Blackbrae.’

  ‘Did you know her?’

  ‘No, Lisa is older than me.’ He swallowed as though something distasteful was in his mouth. ‘By six months. Her mum left before Lisa was born.’

  Still Kirra sat there wondering what Daniel was getting at. Then it hit like a round bale dropping from the front-end loader with a giant thud, dust and stalks going everywhere. Messy. ‘Lisa is your sister?’

  He closed his eyes.

 
Everything inside Kirra ground to a halt while her mind tried to process it.

  ‘Half-sister. She told me on the night of the accident, at the rodeo. I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t believe my dad would do that. I got angry. She got angry. We fought. I grabbed Sammy and took off.’

  Kirra sat there silently, letting the truth tumble out of him.

  ‘Mum still doesn’t know. She thinks me and Dad fell out over the accident.’

  ‘What about your brothers?’

  Daniel shook his head.

  ‘But your dad knows you know?’

  He nodded. ‘He promised me he would tell Mum himself, but he didn’t. I didn’t want it to come out in court; it would kill Mum, everyone finding out before her, especially after Sam being in hospital and everything. She doesn’t deserve that.’

  Kirra could hardly believe what she was hearing. ‘You went to juvy for three months to protect your mum from finding out.’

  ‘It wouldn’t have changed anything. I still couldn’t prove someone ran me off the road.’ Daniel sat, rubbing his hands through his hair. ‘If our family breaks apart, all the land would be split up, everything would change. Overseas investors would swoop in and buy the lot. It would kill Dad.’

  ‘You’re protecting him too?’

  ‘I’m protecting my whole family, our land, our livelihood. It’s who we are.’

  ‘So who does know about this, apart from your dad and her mum?’

  ‘You, me and Lisa.’ He gave her an apologetic look. ‘That night at the Dirt and Dust Festival I didn’t go to see you. I was looking for Lisa. To try and talk to her, tell her I believed her, get her to withdraw her testimony. I wanted to give her letter back. Things got too rank before I got the chance.’

  ‘Was that the letter she came to pick up?’

  He nodded. ‘It was an eighteenth birthday card, from her mum, telling her who her father was. There was a letter with it.’

  ‘Why did she give it to you?’

  ‘For proof, I suppose, because I didn’t believe her when she told me. She started flapping this letter at me. It was the night of the accident. I was about to go in the steer ride, so I just shoved it into my gear bag and totally forgot about it. I didn’t even read it until I got out of juvy. I found it while I was looking for some gear so I could come and work here.’

  ‘What was in it?’

  Daniel paused. ‘It was really personal, about what happened between her mum and my dad . . .’ His chest lifted and dropped, ‘. . . and everything.’

  ‘So . . . why hasn’t Lisa just spilled the beans and told everyone?’

  ‘I’m not sure.’ Daniel looked thoughtful. ‘I think maybe she’s protecting someone too. Either that or Dad’s paid her off. She knew damn well I wasn’t drunk on the night of the accident. Her testimony was an outright lie and everyone knows it.’

  ‘Who would she be protecting?’

  Daniel went quiet and Kirra could see him trying to compile his thoughts into some order that made sense to him. ‘I thought I saw one of the Blackbrae utes. I thought it was Jarred Young, but I got that wrong,’ he said in a far-away voice.

  ‘Tell me what happened on the night of the accident.’

  ‘All I remember is a car coming at me, and then someone pulling Sammy out of my arms—’ Daniel’s voice crumbled. He closed his eyes and Kirra watched him pull himself together. The trees whispered nervously overhead and dirty half-shadows played over his face. His voice became low. ‘The guilt lives inside me. During the day it’s a sickly feeling, but at night it gets in my head, and if I close my eyes, try and squeeze it out, it just comes at me even harder.’ Daniel looked at Kirra with distraught eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt her.’

  Kirra moved closer to him and sat on her folded knees. She put her hand to his cheek.

  His face rocked to the side and sank into it. ‘I’m sorry I’m so messed up.’

  ‘So am I,’ she said.

  ‘I need some time to sort my life out.’

  ‘I know. It’s okay.’

  Kirra rode the red colt home. It barely flinched when she swung her leg over him and then walked alongside Iceman as though it had been under saddle for years. Within twenty minutes it was striding along on a loose rein. Kirra’s mind tumbled as she rode next to Daniel. ‘Jamie used to work at Blackbrae too,’ she said.

  Daniel rode along with his reins in one hand, his other hand resting casually on his upper leg. His eyes spanned out over the endless flat paddock. ‘Yup.’

  ‘Same time as you?’

  ‘Yup.’ Something about the purse of his lips told her that it hadn’t been a happy friendship.

  ‘I never realised you two had worked together.’

  ‘He left because he had a crush on Lisa.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Daniel kept riding.

  ‘He thought Lisa had a crush on you,’ Kirra clarified. ‘Big time.’

  ‘She was all weird and awkward around me, always staring at me and following me around. Everyone thought she had a crush on me. They still do.’ He gave her an accusing stare.

  ‘So Lisa knew you were her brother?’

  ‘Yep.’ Daniel threw her a grim smile. ‘She just wanted to get to know me. I took it the wrong way. So did Jamie, but she just wasn’t interested in him, it wasn’t my fault. How do I explain that to him?’

  ‘Why does she hate me so much?’

  ‘She’s jealous.’

  ‘Why? She’s your sister. That’s really creepy.’

  ‘Because she knows my family would probably like you. You’d be able to just walk in and meet them. They’d welcome you. She thinks she would never be welcomed as a part of our family.’

  ‘Oh.’ The idea of joining the Rutherford empire was a big one. The idea of being rejected from them was probably even bigger, she figured. ‘Will she? Be a part of your family one day?’

  Daniel looked uncomfortable. ‘I don’t know. Dad’s so freaked out about what will happen if Mum finds out.’ He held the gate open for her. ‘We’re home. That was your last question.’

  Fair enough. Kirra’s head was already overloaded, but she still had more questions. ‘If you could get Lisa to withdraw her testimony about you drinking, then you’d be innocent, wouldn’t you?’

  Even though it was yet another question, Daniel shook his head. ‘If I want to be acquitted, I have to prove that someone ran me off the road. I have to find out who caused the accident and hurt Sammy. And I also have to stop seeing you.’

  ‘That was in your release conditions?’ said Kirra, stunned.

  ‘No, it was in my work conditions. With Tom.’

  Kirra’s mouth gaped open. Then closed. ‘Okay.’

  He pushed his horse into a trot before she could ask another question, and she let him ride ahead. The homestead was within sight and there were hungry horse mouths to feed.

  And there was also Jamie, lurking in the yard near the mechanics shed as they rode into the homestead.

  ‘I never knew you used to work with Daniel,’ she said as she rode her tired horse past him.

  Jamie’s face went tight. He looked the other way and stalked off without answering, and it was then she felt sure there was a whole lot more he hadn’t told her.

  22

  Dinner at the main house was uncomfortable. Kirra clawed some spaghetti out of a huge pot with some tongs and slopped some bolognaise sauce on top. She rattled a clump of parmesan cheese around in the bottom of its tub and looked around, not knowing where to sit.

  Jamie sat next to Pete and Paul and glared at his dinner as though it had offended him somehow. He didn’t look up or acknowledge her. Daniel ate alone, eyes down, shoulders hunched. Jim sat with Steve and Tom, talking truck parts. Kirra decided to play it safe and chose neutral ground with Liz and old Jack.

  Her father was so right. Workplace romances made life complicated. What a mess she had made of things.

  Before long Daniel rose, washed his plate and disappeared out the door. The at
mosphere in the room lightened immediately. Pete and Paul started laughing about their day and Liz joined Nancy at the sink to help wash dishes. Relaxed banter filled the room. Kirra finished what she could and went to scrape her plate off in the bin. She flicked the last few noodles off, turned and nearly bumped into Jamie’s chest. She startled. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he mumbled and looked straight past her to the bin. His face was closed.

  ‘Jamie, I didn’t know.’

  ‘Didn’t know what?’ he said in an uninterested tone.

  ‘About you and Lisa and . . . Daniel.’

  Jamie shouldered past her and scraped his plate into the bin. ‘Well, now you do.’ He placed it on the sink and strode out the door.

  Kirra knew she should let it go at that. What more could she say without revealing Daniel’s secret? But she ran after him. ‘Jamie . . .’ she called, as she bolted down the front steps. Overhead the moon blared in the sky and lit every corner of the yard.

  ‘What?’ He spun around. ‘Has he dumped you again? Need somewhere to rebound?’ He snorted bitterly. ‘Find someone else, Kirra.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me you’d worked with Daniel?’

  ‘It wasn’t exactly a highlight of my life,’ he answered. ‘Daniel probably did me a favour in the end. Lisa’s a psycho. So’s her mother. Thank God it wasn’t me she had a crush on, that’s all I can say. Look at the mess Daniel’s in now. She’s probably pregnant.’

  Kirra stared at him dumbfounded. He had this so wrong.

  Jamie pulled his keys out of his pocket and yanked open the door to his ute. ‘He brought this on himself. I’m going back to Scrubby.’

  Kirra watched as he slammed the door shut, spun his wheels in the dirt and roared out the driveway with his P plates flapping behind him.

  Her dad walked past, headed for home. His proximity was too close for him to have missed the argument with Jamie. ‘Mustering at Scrubby Creek tomorrow. Get an early night so you can focus on work, eh?’ He strode past her and disappeared through the front door of the foreman’s residence.

  He was locked in his office by the time Kirra collapsed in an armchair in the lounge room. Her mum sat hand-stitching a quilt and watching telly. ‘You look beat,’ she said, glancing up from her needle.