Pandavas

by Anil Chawla

  After a couple of hours, Mary opened her eyes to find Abraham standing next to her. It took her a few seconds to regain perception of her environment and what had happened. As she became fully aware, her first feeling was pain, which was soon overtaken by curiosity. She looked left and right, searching.

  Abraham said, ‘Congratulations to you, darling. We are blessed with a baby boy.’ A nurse entered the room, picked the baby up from the cradle and gently lay him by Mary’s side. As Mary looked at her baby, her pain seemed to vanish. The expression on her face was something a woman could only feel, not describe. A part of her body and soul, a tiny bundle of joy, a cute little angel, was next to her. Abraham helped her have a good look at the baby and as the contours of the baby became sharper in her vision, the joy on Mary’s face multiplied and changed colours.

  Then, totally exhausted, she let her head sink back to the pillow and slept. The range of emotions that Mary displayed over the next few hours would have provided enough data to any psychologist to complete her Ph.D.

  The next three days were so different for both Abraham and Mary. It was very unlike the world of two doctors—a surgeon in front of whom everybody relinquished control, and a dentist who left everybody open-mouthed. The common element was that their subject was totally helpless and at their mercy. Here, it was the opposite. It was the two doctors’ turn to be left open-mouthed and with no control. Handling a little angel who was all of 3.1 kilos and 49 centimetres left the two experts feeling clueless and dumb.

  ‘Welcome to the world of parenting, Abraham and Mary Samuel,’ a voice seemed to come from the heavens. Almost simultaneously, they looked up but saw nobody.

  Life changed forever, thereafter. There was the excitement about their first child and there was the eagerness to bring him up in the best possible manner, which all parents want, only to realize they are chasing a mirage. While Abraham and Mary had only their professions and each other as their world earlier, the centre of their universe had changed now. Mary had taken a break from work to be with the baby all the time. For the first two months, the couple had the help of their parents in turns, but after that they were on their own. They had hired a live-in maid named Rosy.

  Rosy was a middle-aged woman who had lost her husband three years ago. Her four children were all married, leaving her all alone, and that was why she decided to take up work at the Samuel household. At first, Rosy mostly did housework while Mary took care of the baby. With time, that changed. Mary was realizing how difficult it was to manage a baby and its million needs. Soon, the responsibilities reversed. Mary was still nursing the baby but a lot of the other childcare tasks were taken over by Rosy.

  With time, Mary noticed how much easier it was being a professional doctor compared to being a mother. She was undergoing the changes that motherhood brings. Her time got divided between multiple demands. As a result, Abraham became a distant third in priority. The frequency of altercations between Abraham and Mary increased. Common issues were: too little attention to Abraham; who was to do the night shift; ‘Can’t you manage a six-monthold baby?’ and so on. Abraham tried his best to devote as much time as he could to the baby after his busy day at the hospital. Soon, he realized that being rational was perhaps the worst way to handle babies and their mothers. Whenever Abraham did something, Mary wasn’t satisfied with it.

  ‘You can’t prepare a bottle of milk properly.’

  ‘Why is the baby always crying when you’re holding him?’

  ‘Did you wash your hands before touching him?’

  ‘Did you sterilize the bottle properly?’ (Whatever ‘properly’ meant!)

  ‘I’m tired after a hard day.’

  ‘Do you think that I sit idle at home?’

  ‘You should take a break from the hospital and manage the baby for some time, then you will realize….’

  Rosy had become an important part of their household, more so for Sammy. By the time Sammy was eight months old, he was largely an ‘ayah’s baby’, a common phenomenon in upper-middle-class families.

  While it is not uncommon for Indian husbands and wives to grow apart after the arrival of a baby, it was much more pronounced in their case. Slowly, Abraham withdrew into himself. He felt stressed at home and started spending longer hours at work. Mary interpreted that as not shouldering his responsibilities as a father. In a routine check-up, Abraham showed high BP and cholesterol levels and started medication. While he had been a social drinker earlier, he started drinking more often, and alone. It started interfering with his hospital work. His surgical dexterity was affected. That is when disaster struck.

  One day, a patient with profuse bleeding was brought to the hospital. He showed injury marks on his chest, legs, and head. As it looked to be a police case, the staff advised his relatives and friends to take him to a government hospital. Soon the situation went out of control as the people accompanying the injured man started creating a ruckus at the hospital, demanding immediate attention. The hospital administration was going through all the necessary formalities, including informing the police. Phones rang and, in no time, the local MLA was on the line threatening them. Looking at the critical condition of the victim and on humanitarian grounds, Abraham approved his admission.

  On thorough examination, internal injuries, including those on the ribs and lungs, became apparent. The best course of action under the circumstances was to operate on the patient, but the prognosis was mixed. In good faith, Abraham rushed him to the OT. In spite of his best efforts, the serious internal injuries led to the death of the patient.

  A crowd gathered in the hospital, breaking chairs, window panes, and whatever else they could reach. The police had to be called. Over the next few days, Abraham was at the receiving end of queries from not only the local politicians and police but also the hospital management who felt that Abraham had overstepped his authority in allowing the admission. In fact, they instituted an enquiry into the episode and asked Abraham to go on leave for three months.

  Life had taken a nasty turn. This was the time when Abraham needed Mary’s support. Unfortunately, it did not come to the extent he wanted. In high-pressure moments, Mary attributed the episode to his carelessness, which was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

  He started drinking more often and at home. Although he was found ‘not guilty’ at the conclusion of the enquiry and was reinstated at the hospital, the incident had broken him internally. Once an excellent surgeon, Dr. Abraham Samuel was lost.

  One day at the breakfast table, Mary announced, ‘I have decided to rejoin the hospital.’

  It was a shock for Abraham as they had not discussed this at all. ‘But Sammy is not even a year old. He’s too small.’

  ‘Rosy is managing him quite well and he isn’t on my feed either.’

  ‘At this age, children need their mothers most and maids can’t replace mothers.’

  ‘So maids can replace fathers but not mothers?!’

  The conversation broke down.

  The next week, Mary resumed work. Very soon, the ease of managing the job of a dentist against the tough task of being a full-time mother tilted the balance in favour of the former. Abraham had not realized how, over those months, a distance had arisen between the three of them. Not only had he grown distant from Mary, there was an invisible wall between him and Sammy as well. He had lost his enthusiasm to look after Sammy. One evening, the priest from their church visited them at home. He was an old, god-fearing man who had known the Samuel family for many years. He also knew that the family was going through a tough time. Many times during the conversation, he said, ‘Don’t worry. It is God’s doing. He will set things right.’

  In exasperation, Abraham retorted, ‘When will God set it right? We have been through such tough times ever since Sammy was born.’ There was total silence in the room. The priest admonished him for blaming a little soul. Mary took Sammy from his cradle and left the room. Even Abraham was dumbfounded at his own outburst. He never inten
ded to mean that Sammy was the cause of his troubles and apologized to the priest. He immediately went inside and said sorry to Mary and tried to explain that it was not his intent to blame anyone, least of all a child. He was mature enough to understand that there was no link between Sammy’s arrival and their troubles. Mary sat like a statue holding Sammy tight and did not utter a single word. Realizing that the more he spoke, the further Mary would withdraw, he left the room. The Samuel household was never the same again.

  ***

  Roma had finished her conversation with the doctor, absorbed every bit of it and, assuming that Sammy had done the same, said, ‘Sammy, you need to remember most of those instructions. I’m not sure how many things I’ll forget. It’s your duty now.’ Roma and the doctor were smiling and perhaps waiting to hear a loud and firm affirmation from Sammy, but none came. Roma turned her head towards Sammy and it took her a fraction of a second to notice that he was in his own world. She changed the subject and thanked the doctor, who wished them luck and left the room. As the door closed behind the doctor, Roma tried to get up.

  That was when Sammy noticed what was going on and said, ‘Hey, what are you trying to do? The doctor just asked you to rest,’ and quickly made her lie down. He touched her forehead affectionately, bent forward and kissed her. Roma held him close to her, as if for eternity. Then she asked him, with a mischievous smile, whether he had heard any of the doctor’s instructions.

  Quite casually, Sammy rattled off all the instructions in the same sequence that the doctor had spoken them. While doing so, his eyes were fixed on Roma but were looking through her. Slowly, tears rolled down his cheeks and drops fell on Roma’s bosom. He sobbed. Roma held him close to her, like a child.

  New Arrival

  They sat like that for a long time. It was not the first time Sammy had cried in Roma’s arms. Then, a knock on the door made Sammy get up hurriedly. He wiped his face, ran his fingers through his thick black hair, and opened the door. There stood both the doctors who had examined Roma. After apologizing for interrupting, they asked, ‘Will it be okay if we announce the good news to the cruise manager? It is not uncommon for our passengers to make major announcements such as engagements, weddings, or the arrival of a new one in the family while on board. If you agree, the cruise band will play for you at dinnertime and there’ll be champagne, on the house of course.’

  While Sammy was still thinking, Roma suddenly responded in the affirmative. The doctor duo left.

  Roma said, ‘It’ll be good fun.’

  ‘But are you fit enough to make a public appearance at a big party?’

  ‘After such great news, I’m fitter than ever before.’

  They huddled together for the next few hours, with Roma’s head on Sammy’s broad shoulders. They talked about the new arrival at length. They came up with a dozen names for a boy and two dozen for a girl. They discussed what to read, which hospital to visit, and all kinds of other things.

  They visited the cruise liner’s little library, not really expecting a luxury ship to stock books on the subject. To their surprise, they found several books on neo-natal care, childbirth, and parenting. Returning to their suite, they sat and read for a while. Then, Roma threw her book aside, snatched the one in Sammy’s hands and chucked that away as well. She pulled him onto the bed, rested her head on his chest and said, ‘We can read all this later. What’s the big hurry?’

  They just lay there, worrying about nothing. This helped them unwind and soak in the fact that they had touched a milestone in their lives.

  Instead of going to the restaurant for lunch, they ordered room service. After a sumptuous main course, Roma enjoyed two cups of raspberry yoghurt while Sammy ate his usual vanilla ice cream. After lunch, they felt so heavy that they decided to take a nap.

  It was only around six in the evening that they got up. They ordered tea and moved to the sea-facing balcony of their suite to enjoy the evening quietly by themselves.

  An hour later, they dressed for dinner. When they came out of their room, there was a pleasant surprise awaiting them. The entrance to their suite had been decorated with a variety of flowers and formed the contours of a little baby. It was not too obvious, though. Only somebody who knew about it would’ve been able to spot the baby. Sammy and Roma were as impressed by the cruise manager’s subtlety as they were touched by his thoughtfulness. As they entered the restaurant, the music suddenly stopped, the lights dimmed and there was a circle of light around the entrance. And then the music resumed, with a background of the clapping of a thousand hands. There was a table specially laid for them. An attendant guided them towards it and made them comfortable. Both basked in the adulation and the attention given to them. They graduated naturally to the dance floor and moved to the rhythm of the music. This togetherness was quite different from what they had experienced so far. As they held each other, Roma squeezed closer to Sammy and said in a husky voice, ‘I love you, my darling.’ While she had said it many times before, it sounded so different today. Sammy did not say anything, but pulled her closer and gently kissed her.

  After dinner, they spent some time on the deck and enjoyed the view. The liner was barely moving; it was in fact rotating slowly in place, giving everybody a long look at the lit-up islands, the ocean and the vessels on its rippling surface. After a couple of hours of taking in the sights, they walked back towards their suite.

  On their way, Roma asked with a wicked grin, ‘Was I too heavy, when you lifted me?’

  Sammy looked puzzled and said, ‘No.’

  ‘I actually don’t feel like walking any more,’ pouted Roma like a spoilt child. Sammy smiled, carefully lifted her in his arms and took her to the suite, holding her delicately. Even afterwards, as they changed and got into bed, Sammy was treating Roma as if she was made of snow and would change shape if pressed. Roma pulled him towards herself and commanded, ‘Make love to me.’ While Sammy was still looking bewildered, Roma made the moves. She orchestrated an extraordinary love-making session and Sammy played to the tune like an enamoured husband. But there was extra care in Sammy’s response even then.

  Their remaining stay was as exciting as could be. Their only regret was that there was an end to it. Both wished that they had more times like this. They vowed to go on cruises more often.

  Back in Silicon Valley, life settled back into its groove, though something had changed. The first thing they did was to fix an appointment with a specialist. After an examination and some tests, she declared Roma and the baby to be in excellent health.

  As Roma’s pregnancy advanced, Sammy adjusted his routine and spent more time in the kitchen. He often overdid the dietary advice given to Roma, not that she objected to being pampered by her doting husband. Slowly, the bump began to show. One weekend, they went shopping and got loads of baby clothes and special maternity clothes for Roma.

  Their parents were delighted to hear about Roma’s pregnancy. After that, a call with both sets of parents became a daily affair. Plenty of advice was given. Roma’s parents offered to come and help, and so did Sammy’s parents— the latter, being doctors, seemed like a particularly good option. It was not an easy decision. Roma and Sammy sat together and pondered the matter, discussed it at length, and finally decided that they would manage on their own. They communicated this to their parents, much to the would-be grandparents’ disappointment.

  Roma did experience a little anxiety on how they would cope, with both of them being first-timers. But Sammy’s confidence made her back themselves. The local hospital, where the delivery was to take place, had assured them that they would take care of most things.

  SVT was extremely supportive of Sammy. He could work completely flexible hours and from wherever he wanted. SVT gave paternity leave as well, which was a real boon for Sammy. He generally operated from home, keeping an eye on Roma. Some of their friends visited often, taking turns, so they wouldn’t ever feel lonely in a foreign land at such a special time in their lives.

  As the
delivery date neared, the tension in the house was palpable. And then, a couple of days before the due date, Roma went into labour. Sammy called the ambulance and took her to the hospital. The doctor offered Sammy the choice of being there for the delivery. The general experience of American doctors was that Indian men never agreed to this but they were astonished when Sammy said he wanted to be with his wife. It was a mixed experience for him— initially he was extremely scared and felt as if he would faint. But as Roma’s contractions increased and she screamed louder and louder, Sammy’s confidence came back and he helped her push harder. Amidst the chorus of ‘push’, ‘push harder’, ‘you can do it’ and ‘it’s almost over’, finally, the little soul arrived on earth. The feeling of holding their baby in his hands was so fulfilling for Sammy that he cried—but regained his control soon enough to help with the afterbirth.

  The baby girl was the greatest gift that they could have been given.

  Roma stayed in the hospital for three days and was discharged with routine advice. Life was very different thereafter. It seemed as if the day was reduced to twelve hours. Little Koel needed all their attention when she was not sleeping but she was a quiet child and rarely cried. When fully fed, she was content to be by herself. Gradually, life settled down. After some contented weeks, Roma prompted Sammy to start going to work every day because he had been irregular in the last two months and had even missed some client meetings.