The simple truth was, he was right. She should have told him from the first. Should have shared the miracle of their son right from the beginning. It had been wrong not to. Her brother and sister had tried to convince her of that, but her own fears had kept her from realizing it.
For so long now, she’d been on her own with Luke, seeing his first smile, his first tooth, and not being able to share it with the one other person who should have been there. There really was no excuse for not telling him—there was only her fears.
“I know.”
Surprise flickered in his eyes. “Didn’t expect that.”
The light was going, sun setting, and with any luck, Luke would sleep through till morning. He’d had a very long day with no nap and too many changes in his routine.
Cass knew the talk she and Jake were about to have was long overdue, but she didn’t want to have it here, where they might wake up their son. She gave a look to where the dog lay prone beside the crib, then glanced at Jake. “Is it all right for the dog to stay here?”
“Looks like he already figures Luke is his,” Jake told her. “Boston.”
The dog lifted his head from his paws.
“Stay.”
That heavy yellow tail thumped twice on the floor and then Boston closed his eyes for a nap.
“Good boy.” Cass bent down to pet the dog again and then stood to walk to where Jake waited. There was no more putting it off. It was well past time they said what had to be said.
Jake turned in the doorway so she could pass him and as she did, her breasts brushed against his chest. Sparks of awareness, of need, lit up her insides and she had to take a deep breath to steady herself. God, it had been so long since she’d felt that quickening of her pulse. The hot rush of desire churning through her insides.
She looked up at him and knew he’d felt that same electrical jolt—and he didn’t look any happier about it than she felt at the moment. “Jake—”
“Not here.” He took her elbow in one palm and led her to the next door down the hall, to his room. Once inside, he closed the door partially, leaving it open just wide enough that they would be able to hear the baby if he stirred.
Strangely, that small action caused her heart to ping with tenderness. Then the moment was past and she was watching him stride across the master bedroom toward the wall of windows that overlooked a wide, snow-covered forest and Whitefish Lake, its sapphire-blue surface covered in snow and ice. “Explain.”
“Jake—”
He turned to face her, his features grim, his luscious mouth tight and firm. “Explain to me why you never bothered to use a damn phone. Why you thought I wouldn’t want to know that you were carrying my son.”
Cass winced under that blow, but a part of her knew she deserved it. She looked at him and didn’t see only the righteous anger she’d been prepared for, but she also saw pain. Pain she’d caused because she’d been too much of a coward to face him with the truth.
And while she could admit to all of that, in her defense, he’d made no secret of the fact that he wasn’t interested in family. Was it wrong that she’d taken him at his word?
“You’re the one who told me you were a loner. You didn’t want family around.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t want my son,” he said, each word dropping like an ice cube between them.
“No, you didn’t,” she agreed, walking farther into the room. She tried not to look at that wide bed where they’d spent so many hours tangled together. Because the memories were already so rich, they were cluttering her mind, making it difficult to think straight. “But we agreed that what we had was temporary, Jake.”
“It was. Luke isn’t.”
“No, he’s not. He’s precious and wonderful and I don’t want him to be a burden you’re forced to pick up and carry because you’re an honorable man.” And she couldn’t risk having her son grow to count on his father, depend on him, only to be shattered if Jake suddenly decided that he wasn’t interested in a family anymore.
“So you get to decide for me? Is that it?” He turned his face from hers briefly, staring out at the sky and the blustering wind.
“I thought it would be easier. On all of us.”
He whipped his head around to glare at her. “You thought wrong.”
“Yeah. I can see that.” She walked past the bed and didn’t stop until she was standing right in front of him. “If you want to know your son, that’s great. But I’m not expecting anything from you, Jake.”
“Well, I’m expecting plenty.” His eyes were on fire with emotions. She felt his body nearly vibrating with everything that he was keeping locked down, locked away.
The room was filled with shadows. The last of the sun had faded as they talked. A half moon was rising, fighting to shine in spite of the dark storm clouds rushing across the sky. Wind rattled the windows as Jake demanded, “What’s his name? His last name.”
Cass frowned, prepared for battle. He wouldn’t like this, but it had been her decision to make, after all.
“Moore.” Before he could speak, she said, “You’re listed on his birth certificate as his father, but I thought it would be easier if my son and I had the same last name.”
“Agreed,” he said, reaching out for her and pulling her tightly to him. “Only difference is, that last name is going to be Hunter.”
Shocked nearly speechless, it took Cass a moment to recover before she blurted, “Excuse me?”
“Welcome home, Mrs. Hunter.”
Eight
Jake’s belly clenched as soon as he said the words.
Hell, who could blame him? The last time he’d asked a woman to marry him, it had turned into a major disaster. Jake had vowed to never repeat that mistake. To keep to himself. To never risk letting someone get too close again.
Yet what choice did he have? His son was sleeping in the other room. He’d made a child and now it was time to do the right thing. Marry that child’s mother.
Even as he considered the situation, he reassured himself that this proposal wasn’t about love. He still wouldn’t be letting Cassie get under his skin. On his skin was something else. And that consideration eased the skittering panic in his brain. Sex with Cassie was amazing. Hadn’t he been missing it for nearly a year and a half? Marrying her would ensure that he could have her all the damn time and that was a huge plus.
Not to mention his son would be here on the ranch, where he belonged. Through the confused thoughts came one image, that of his little boy, racing across the ranch yard, with Boston at his heels. Damned if that didn’t bring a smile to his face. Until Cassie started talking again.
“Are you crazy?”
Not the reaction most men got with a proposal.
“No.”
“That’s it? Just ‘no’?”
She stared at him for a long minute or two, neither of them speaking as shadows crept from the corners of the room like thieves, stealing the last of the light.
Jake studied her in the dimness and felt more than his belly clench. His groin was hard and aching and everything in him yearned to hold her tighter, closer. Yeah, he wanted her. In spite of the anger over her keeping his son from him. In spite of everything, he wanted her. Would always want her. But damned if he’d admit that to her.
When she pulled free of his grasp, he let her go. Only so far, though.
“I’m not going to marry you, Jake.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and planted his feet wide apart in a “ready for a fight” stance. “Don’t see a way around it.”
“None of that cowboy-speak, either. Use full sentences.”
“Fine,” he said, moving in on her. “You want lots of words? Here are a few for you. You kept my son from me. You kept his existence a secret. You think I’m just going to say thanks
for dropping by so I could get a look at him? Not a chance. That boy’s a Hunter and he stays here. Where he belongs.”
She blinked and shook her head. “He belongs with me.”
“There you go.” He waved one hand. “That’s why the marriage. He’s going to have a mother and a father.”
“I told you I didn’t want Luke to be the burden of honor that you picked up because it was the right thing to do,” she countered, moving in on him now, poking him dead center of the chest with the tip of her index finger to emphasize each word. “Well, I won’t be your duty, either. I know you don’t want a family and I’m not going to sign on to be your wife out of obligation. No thanks.”
Anger erupted. Not surprising since it had been there, deep inside him, bubbling, churning, demanding release, since she’d first walked into his house carrying that baby. Emotions he’d thought long buried were swimming to the surface, but he didn’t want to look at them now. There were too many of them and he was in no position to try to sort through every feeling that was knocking around his heart demanding to be recognized.
He couldn’t let the anger or the emotions guide him right now. Instead, he grabbed for a single, slender thread of logic and clung to it.
His gaze fixed on hers, and he willed her to hear. To understand. “You say ‘duty’ like it’s a dirty word. It’s not. Duty means you accept responsibility for what you’ve done. It’s making a personal vow to do what’s right. What’s necessary. It’s an obligation to face what others can’t or won’t. Duty means something to me, Cassie, and I can’t change that. Even for you.”
“I don’t expect you to change,” she argued, looking up at him, her emotions churning in the fog of her eyes. “I’m not asking you to. Just as I’m not going to marry a man who thinks of me as an obligation.”
He snorted. “Not an obligation, Cassie,” he said, “a thorn. An attractive thorn that I wouldn’t mind tossing onto my bed about now, but still a thorn.”
She had been just that right from the start. A thorn jabbed into his skin, painful and irritating until he pulled it out and still felt the ache. Cassie had wedged herself into his life, made him nuts while she was here on the ranch, and then made him full-on crazy once she left. Now she was back and he couldn’t make sense of anything he was feeling, thinking.
The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted her. Bad. His desire for her hadn’t waned a damn bit while they were apart and he knew now it never would.
“Wow. Be still my heart.” Shaking her head slowly, she said, “That’s even less incentive to marry you, Jake.”
“You want incentive? What about our son?” God, that felt weird to say. Weird to know that he was a father. “What does he deserve?”
“He deserves to be loved,” Cassie said quickly, decisively. “And cared for. And not thought of as a cross to bear.”
That flash of anger burned a little brighter. Did she really think him so small that he couldn’t love his own child? No, he hadn’t planned on having a family, trusting fate to keep them safe so he wouldn’t have his heart ripped out, but now that the choice had been made for him, he wouldn’t wish it away.
“You don’t get to say that to me, Cassie. How old is he?”
“Almost five months.”
Jake gritted his teeth. “You’ve had him five months and knew about him for nine before that. You’ve had the chance to love him. I’ve barely caught a glimpse of him. So don’t be telling me that I won’t love my son.”
“I don’t want you to have to love him. Don’t you see the difference?”
“If you had told me about him from the jump there wouldn’t be any worries about ‘having’ to love him, would there?”
She threw her hands in the air. “How do I know that? How do you? If I had called you when I first found out, would you have wanted the baby?”
He swallowed hard past the knot of emotion clogging his throat. Cassie latched onto that moment of hesitation.
“See? You don’t even know how you would’ve reacted, and I couldn’t take the chance. Not with my baby’s future happiness at stake.”
“I deserved to know,” he finally said, not bothering to counter her arguments because at the heart of it, he was right and she was wrong and he had a feeling she knew that as well as he did.
All of the fight went out of her like air sliding from a balloon. “You did. You really did. And I’m sorry.”
Nodding, he looked down at her and felt resolution settle into his soul. He wouldn’t say he loved her because how the hell did he know what love was? But he could admire her. Respect her. Desire her. She’d been a single mom and she’d done a good job. Luke looked healthy and happy and that was due to her. He had no idea what her life had been like over the last fourteen months, but he knew what his had been. Enduring endless nights, where he cursed the solitude he used to crave. Spending the days doing what he always had, never once guessing that a piece of him was living and growing without him.
She had been strong and he could appreciate that. But now things had changed. Now she was here, and he wasn’t letting her go again. There was only one way this was going to end. His way.
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry too, Cassie.”
She flicked him a sideways look, wary and suspicious. “Sorry for what?”
Jake cupped her chin in his fingers and felt that buzz of connection that he’d felt the very first time he touched her. He held her so that she was forced to meet his gaze, forced to see in his eyes that he meant everything he said next. “You don’t have to worry about my mother anymore. But I’ll tell you this. You either marry me, or I’ll sue you for custody myself.”
Cass pulled out of his touch and the tips of his fingers still felt warm from the contact with her skin.
Eyes wide, breath hitching in her chest, she said, “You wouldn’t do that.”
“Watch me,” he promised, even as he acknowledged objectively that the Hunters were a damned vindictive family. Even him. She’d wanted him to save her from his mother and now she was finding out that the price for that favor was surrendering to him. He wouldn’t have thought himself capable of threatening a woman—especially this woman—but it seemed the surprises of the day were still coming.
“I won’t lose my son.”
She choked out a laugh, lifted one hand to cover her mouth as if she could push the sound back inside, then looked up at him. “You realize I came to you for help?”
“Ironic,” he acknowledged.
Cass walked away from him and dropped down to sit on the edge of his bed. Seeing her there again brought back all the memories he’d been trying to ignore for months. The scent of her on his pillows. The image of her hair, spilling across the sheets. The gleam in her eyes when he filled her with his body and the soft sigh of completion that always touched something deep inside him.
All of those memories and more came crowding back until he nearly choked on them. He’d been fine with his world before she came here and got trapped for a week. And after she left, he worked damned hard to be fine again. Hadn’t really happened, but he’d been moving toward some sort of peace until she showed up again.
When she looked at him, she said softly, “So basically, I went from the frying pan into the fire?”
“Yeah.”
She laughed shortly and shook her head. “One word. Typical.”
Sighing, Jake let the anger within dissipate. He’d learned long ago to accept what had already happened because he couldn’t change it. He’d lost so much time with his son that he’d never get back, but that was done. All he could do now was ensure that he wouldn’t lose any more of his child’s life.
He walked over, sat down beside her and took a breath, dragging her scent into his lungs. “Were you ever going to tell me about Luke?”
Her hands twisted in her lap as she admi
tted, “I don’t know.”
Nodding, he briefly shifted his gaze to the window and the night. “What happened to forthright?”
Cass looked at him. “If lies will protect my son, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“You think he needs to be protected? From me?” Insult stabbed at him.
“It’s my job to make sure Luke is happy. Safe. Loved,” she said, not really answering the question.
The room was dark so that he could hardly see her, and maybe that was best. If he read fear or worry or anything remotely like that in her eyes, he might soften. Might relent. And he couldn’t.
He wasn’t going to lose his son, so Cassie had best make up her mind to be his wife.
“We’ll do that. Together.”
“I’m not going to marry you, Jake.”
“Your choice,” he said softly. “But you’re not going anywhere, Cassie.”
“I’m not a prisoner,” she countered. “You can’t make me stay here if I want to go, Jake.”
“Oh, I could. Make no mistake. As it turns out though, I won’t have to.” He pointed at the wall of windows and the dark winter beyond the glass. “There’s a severe storm warning for this area for the next five days. A blizzard’s going to hit and it’s gonna be a big one. So settle in, Cassie. You and Luke are going nowhere.”
* * *
The wind screamed for hours.
Like the shriek of lost souls, it wound itself around the house, as if frustrated at not being able to find a way in. Just as Cassie couldn’t find a way out.
Physically, she was good and trapped here. Once the snow started falling, she knew she could never risk traveling on that terrifying mountain road. It would be one thing to risk her own safety, but no way would she strap her son into a car and hope for the best.
But emotionally, she was trapped even more neatly. For almost a year and a half, she’d done her best to forget about Jake. To put him on a shelf in her mind so that she wasn’t constantly tormented by the memories of the week she’d had with him. But with Luke looking more and more like his father every day, forgetting wasn’t easy.
The Cowboy's Pride and Joy Page 11
