Applejack and the Honest-to-Goodness Switcheroo

by G. M. Berrow

  “You know the judges won’t like it if the trees aren’t up to standards,” Applejack said. She looked up at a squirrel. “I just don’t think it’d send the right message havin’ a bunch of animals up there.”

  “But these little guys aren’t harming anypony,” Fluttershy pleaded. The squirrel nodded along. “It’s not at all like those stubborn vampire fruit bats.” She was right about that part. The vampire bat infestation had threatened to ruin the entire harvest because the hungry suckers were devouring all the apples themselves. “Even though they didn’t mean to do what they did,” she made sure to add.

  Applejack sighed. Fluttershy’s tender heart was getting in the way again. “Have you convinced any of the critters to leave?”

  “A couple!” exclaimed Fluttershy. She pointed her hoof over at Winona and Angel Bunny.

  “Our pets do not count, Fluttershy,” Applejack said. She threw her hooves into the air in exasperation. “I give up! Why don’t you go see if Big Mac needs any help in the barn?” Fluttershy nodded and trotted off. Angel Bunny and a few squirrels followed the yellow pony. On her way out of the tree, one of the squirrels stopped, looked at Applejack, and stuck its tongue out.

  “I think I need my journal, Winona,” Applejack said to her dog. But instead of hearing a familiar bark in response, she was met with silence. Winona was in the distance chasing after Fluttershy.

  CHAPTER 10

  Rarity’s Vision

  Howdy, Journal,

  Everypony is getting on my last nerve. I thought Fluttershy had developed a backbone by now, but boy, was I wrong! Let’s just say that if you want somepony who will spend all morning lettin’ baby squirrels walk all over her instead of helping out a friend, Fluttershy is your gal. If you want my honest opinion, I wish she woulda just stayed at home.

  Applejack slammed the journal shut and headed downstairs to get back to work. She ought to go check on Rarity’s progress with the new Sweet Apple Acres Cider Booth sign’s paint job. When Applejack had gone over the list of tasks that morning, Rarity had jumped at the chance to work on it. Applejack figured it was bound to be good, considering Rarity had such an eye for design. She couldn’t buck a tree to save her hide, but that pony could make anything look mighty nice.

  When she arrived at the front gate, there was a big piece of shimmery purple fabric covering the sign, and no Rarity in sight. Where had that pony gone off to now? “Rarity?” Applejack called out. She thought she heard the sound of hooves behind her, so she turned around. But there was nopony there. Very strange.

  “Rarity! Apple Bloom!” Applejack trotted toward the house. “Come on out and show me the new sign!”

  The door swung open, and Rarity trotted out. “Sorry, darling. Granny Smith was just showing me how to get paint out of satin. It would have been très tragic if I’d let it dry. This ensemble would have been ruined! Can you imagine anything worse?”

  “Just barely,” said Applejack, picturing Blue Ribbon frowning at her and telling her she’d lost the award. Rarity was so ridiculous! What kind of pony would wear a fancy outfit to help her friend on a farm? A pony who didn’t plan on doing any work at all, that’s who. Applejack was about to say something mean, but she bit her tongue. “Sure glad ya didn’t have to go through that,” she said instead.

  “You have no idea,” said Rarity, completely missing the sarcasm in Applejack’s voice. She flipped her mane back elegantly. “I’m just glad I was able to finish the sign before the incident. Do you want to see it?”

  “Course I do!” Applejack smiled. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions a little too much. Rarity hadn’t let her down at all. Everything appeared to be peachy keen. Well, everything other than Rarity’s outfit. But that wasn’t any of Applejack’s worry.

  Ugh, Journal!

  Rarity is just as bad as the rest of ’em! When she finally got around to showing me the Sweet Apple Acres Cider Booth sign, I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was all glittery and nothin’ like I’d asked for. Maybe if she spent less time thinking about her precious outfits and more time payin’ attention to what her friends actually like, she’d have noticed that I hate all that frilly filly stuff! But now time is running out, so I can’t even fix it. Blue Ribbon will be here to judge Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow. I guess my fate is in his hooves. At least I almost finished bucking all the trees.…

  CHAPTER 11

  A Close Call

  Applejack scribbled in the journal so hard that her quill broke through the page. It seemed like the more she wrote, the worse she felt about her situation, but she still couldn’t stop herself. It was just so good to vent!

  Twilight just came by the farm to see if she could “help out.” I was so busy tryin’ to finish up that I didn’t even want her help. I mean, look at how much all my other friends “helped”—not at all!

  Anyway, Twilight tried to suggest something about asking the folks at Best of Equestria for an extension. She said she might be able to help make it happen on account of bein’ a princess and all. Twilight never uses her royalty for special treatment, so the fact that she even mentioned it made me pretty steamed. Can’t she see that if ya win by special circumstances, then it’s not really winnin’? I thought Twilight was better than—

  Suddenly, Applejack heard the sound of hoofsteps outside her door. “A.J.?” a muffled voice called out. “Are you up here?” It was Twilight! Applejack looked around, frantic for somewhere to hide the journal. There was no way she’d want Twilight to see any of it. Especially the latest entry. She wouldn’t want Twilight’s feelings to be hurt.

  “Yeah!” Applejack called out. “Just a second!” She put the book under the covers, but it left an awkward square lump underneath. It was too suspicious.

  “Can I come in?” Twilight asked from outside the door. “I just wanted to say”—Applejack gave up and tossed the journal under her bed with all her other junk. She ran to the door and opened it before Twilight finished her sentence—“that I’m sorry for suggesting an extension. I know how important schedules are to you and Sweet Apple Acres. Without them, you Apples would probably have a very hard time running such a successful farm!” Twilight smiled. “Hey, have you been doing something academic in here… like writing?”

  Applejack froze. “No! I mean, maybe.” She raised a suspicious eyebrow. “How did you know?” Twilight knew a lot about magic, but this was a very freaky new talent.

  “Your quill is on the bed, and it has fresh ink.” Twilight shrugged. “Were you writing in our journal?”

  “Yes! I was,” Applejack said. “I was writing in a journal.”

  “You work too hard, A.J.” Twilight Sparkle put her arm around Applejack and led her out of the room. “Why don’t you come downstairs and eat? Granny Smith invited us all for dinner.” Applejack felt a sudden pang of guilt. She had just written some stuff complaining about Twilight, and here she was bein’ all kind and such.

  “That sounds swell,” Applejack replied. “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole bushel of apples on my own.”

  “Well, luckily, I think you might just be in the right place for that,” Twilight said. Applejack and Twilight looked at each other and laughed. It felt good. Better than writing in any silly journal.

  CHAPTER 12

  The Switcheroo

  Applejack hardly slept a wink. She was so nervous about the big day ahead that it felt like she’d had forty-two little butterflies flying around inside her stomach all night long. She kept imagining small tasks she’d forgotten to do or messes she hadn’t cleaned up yet. By the time the early morning rolled around, she decided to just get up instead of waiting for the rooster to crow. There was still some time left to make everything perfect.

  After Applejack scrubbed the barn door, fixed the gate’s squeaky hinges, and tidied up the mud pit, the sunlight was just starting to hit her beautiful home. It looked glorious. The morning light crawled over the hills like fresh golden honey, slowly making everything sparkle. Applejack just happened to be standi
ng right in front of the cider booth.

  The brand-new sign shone brilliantly. Every sparkle on every letter in the words Sweet Apple Acres stood out like dewdrops on a bushel of Honeycrisps. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen. Rarity had been right to add all those little touches. Applejack began to feel bad for being so closed-minded about it yesterday. The more she thought of the sign, the more she realized how wrong she’d been about most of her friends this week.

  The cowpony resolved to thank them all profusely when they arrived for the judging ceremony a little bit later. They’d all done their best to help out a friend despite her not being so friendly to them in return. She was a very lucky pony.

  The Apple family was all lined up outside the barn and ready to go. They were waiting for Blue Ribbon. He was due to arrive at any moment. “Great job this week, Apples!” Applejack said, hoping the encouragement wasn’t too late. “Y’all worked real hard, and I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate ya. Whether we win the award or not.”

  “We love you, too, Applejack,” said Granny Smith.

  “Eeyup,” nodded Big Mac.

  “Where’s yer friends, sis?” asked Apple Bloom. She craned to see if anypony was coming down the lane. “Didn’t they say they were all comin’ to the judgin’?”

  “They did say that.…” Applejack bit her lip in concern. Her little sister had a point. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle should have shown up a long time ago. Something strange was definitely going on, but she couldn’t focus on it right now. All she could do was wait for Blue Ribbon.

  “Hey, Applejack! I almost forgot,” Apple Bloom said. “I did somethin’ else to help you out last night. And you didn’t even ask me to!” She looked proud of herself.

  “You did?” Applejack smiled. “And what was that, sugarcube?”

  “I heard Rainbow Dash sayin’ she wanted to write in the journal, so I found it in yer room and gave it to her.”

  “You what?!” Applejack’s heart dropped into her stomach. Did Apple Bloom accidentally give Rainbow Dash the wrong journal? The two did look similar. Brown leather, about the same size… “Where did you find it?”

  Apple Bloom continued, “It was under yer bed with Yeehaw! I didn’t know you found him again! I thought he was lost fer good.…” Applejack didn’t wait to hear the rest. She darted into the house and took the stairs four at a time. She threw open her bedroom door and dived beneath her bed. She riffled through the junk until she saw a brown leather book. Please be the right one, she prayed.

  She reached for the journal and flipped it open. Inside, she saw a really well-written journal entry about Cranky Doodle Donkey. Applejack’s heart sank. Rainbow Dash was in possession of her private diary—the one where she’d written horrible things about all her friends!

  Now it made perfect sense why they hadn’t shown up. Maybe it was a good thing she still had the group journal, because Applejack certainly felt like she had just learned a whole new, very important lesson about friendship.

  CHAPTER 13

  In the First Place

  A giant rainbow arched toward Sweet Apple Acres. “Aaaah!” screamed Blue Ribbon as he ducked for cover. Applejack remained where she was. She knew that Rainbow Dash was just putting on a show. The blue Pegasus would still make a clean landing. But what was she doing here after all the things Applejack had written about her?

  “Hey, dude,” Rainbow said, landing about an inch from Blue Ribbon. She had come to an abrupt, albeit graceful stop. He cowered in horror. “How’s it going? You checking out this awesome farm or what?” She reached her hoof out to him and helped him up. Applejack was gobsmacked. What in tarnation was going on?

  “Uh, Mr. Ribbon—” Applejack started, but she was overpowered by a high-pitched squeal.

  “Wooo-hoooo!” shrieked Pinkie Pie, bounding over to them. “Are you ready for the best farm-judging inspection thingy eveeeer?!” She passed him a balloon in the shape of an apple. “You bet you are!”

  “Have you seen the gorgeous new sign yet?” Rarity asked, prancing up to the befuddled judge. “It was all me.” Rainbow Dash shot her a look. “Ahem… by ‘all me,’ I of course mean myself and the incredible Apple family!”

  “I’m really sorry about the squirrels,” Fluttershy said to Blue Ribbon. “The little sweeties just love it here so much, they can’t imagine being anywhere else. Can’t really blame them, can you? It’s so lovely here. All the nice fresh air and yummy apples and—”

  “All right, guys. I think we can take it down just a notch,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Let the stallion do his thing.” She nodded at Blue Ribbon. “Apologies, sir. Please, continue…”

  “Right. Thank you.” He handed his apple balloon to Apple Bloom and got out a clipboard and a quill. He looked over the papers Granny Smith had given him about the farm’s yield. He nodded his head in approval. “Most impressive, Apple family. Now all there is left is for you to show me your orchard and facilities. Young stallion, would you care to take me on a tour?”

  “Eeyup,” said Big Mac. He started toward the orchard and motioned for Blue Ribbon to follow him.

  “Do you ever say anything else?” Blue Ribbon asked him.

  “Nope,” replied Big Mac before they turned the corner and walked out of sight.

  Applejack let out a giant sigh and looked to her friends. She studied their faces, waiting for the other horseshoe to drop. When a couple seconds ticked by and nothing happened, she couldn’t help it anymore. “Did y’all read my journal or not?!” Applejack blurted out in despair.

  “Yeah…” said Rainbow Dash nonchalantly. “Well, technically only I did… out loud. To them.” She pointed her hoof at the four other ponies. She laughed nervously. “Whoops.”

  “If it makes you feel any better…” said Fluttershy. She looked down at the ground in shame. “I didn’t want to hear it.”

  “None of us did,” Twilight said. Her face was serious.

  “I didn’t really think the one about me was too bad.” Rarity shrugged. “Luna knows, there are way more embarrassing things in my diary.” Rarity shuddered, remembering when Sweetie Belle had leaked some of it to the school newspaper’s gossip column. “At least all of Ponyville didn’t read yours, no?”

  “So hold up”—Applejack brightened—“you mean to tell me y’all aren’t mad at me? You still want to be my friends even after all those terrible things I said?” She looked around. Nopony was sure how to respond.

  “Well, I’m not sure…” Pinkie Pie finally said. “Some of that stuff you wrote wasn’t very nice…” Applejack deflated. She had been so careless. But then Pinkie giggled.… but I liked the part where you compared me to a spatula, so I guess we’re good.”

  “Thank you, Pinkie,” Applejack said, tearing up. At least she still had one friend left. “I’m sorry, everypony. I hope y’all can find it in yer hearts to forgive me.” She started to pace back and forth in front of them. “See, honesty is not just my Element of Harmony, it’s the pony I am. When I try to hide it, I just don’t feel right,” Applejack admitted. “When I was writin’ all those nasty things, I wasn’t bein’ honest with myself. Which is to say, I was bein’ a huge jerk and letting my own ambitions get in the way of the most important thing—my friendship with all of you.”

  “Uh, Applejack?” said Rainbow Dash with a smirk.

  “Yeah?” Applejack lifted her chin up to Rainbow.

  “We totally already know all that,” she said like it was nothin’. “And of course we’re still your friends! It takes more than some silly words in a journal to get rid of us. Right, everypony?” Her friends murmured their agreement, laughing. Applejack felt so grateful. It was like winning the best award she could ever dream of. She didn’t even care about the prize anymore. All she needed to be happy were her family and friends. And that was the honest-to-goodness truth.

  CHAPTER 14

  Sweet Apple Success

  Applejack still couldn’t believe they
’d won the Best Orchard in Equestria award! It turned out that Blue Ribbon had been secretly stopping by the orchard all week long, watching them work! He’d seen Applejack and her friends (who were clearly inexperienced farmers) banding together to work the land. He was so inspired that he felt he had to give them the prize. It was the extra-special something he was looking for—a farm that not only had exemplary apple yield numbers, but one that was willing to teach ponies new skills.

  The blue ribbon stamp looked mighty fine on the Sweet Apple Acres crates that had been shipped out to Canterlot Castle, and the new prized plot of land was starting to look more like a fledgling orchard every day.

  Applejack leaned back in her lounge chair and watched the scene unfold. If any of the new farm-student ponies had any questions at all, she knew they’d come to her. Otherwise, she was going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the view: a beautiful piece of land and ponies of all kinds coming together to farm on it.

  Off in the distance, Fluttershy and Scootaloo were listening to Apple Bloom give a lesson on proper bucking form. To the left, Lyra and Pinkie Pie were having a heated discussion to determine whether trees should be planted twenty or twenty-seven hooves apart. And Rarity was talking to Aloe about the possibility of planting the trees in a heart-shaped pattern instead of traditional rows so the orchard could be admired by the Pegasus ponies up in Cloudsdale as well. Applejack never knew there could be so many new and creative ideas for farming.

  “Hey, Applejack?” Twilight Sparkle said as she trotted up.

  “Yes, Twilight?” Applejack replied. “Ya need some help with those Gala seeds?” She jumped out of her lounge chair eagerly.