by ST Bende
“Not going so great?” I shook my head sympathetically as I rose from the table and pushed in my chair.
“Not even close,” Emma complained. “I cannot remember this formula to save my life.”
“Maybe Henry could help. I’m sure he’d be happy to come up with a pneumonic or whatever it is you math people use when you’re stuck.” I started to cross to the kitchen, but Ull grabbed my elbow as I passed. He slid his fingers down my arm slowly, raising my hand to his mouth and pressing my palm against his lips. My skin seared under the contact. It was an innocent enough gesture, but his eyes held mine as he pulled away. And the look behind them was definitely not innocent.
“Do you want a hot chocolate?” I squeaked.
“I want whatever you are offering.” Ull raised an eyebrow as he let go of my hand.
Emma let out a low whistle. “You two need a room?”
“No,” I blurted, rushing to the kitchen in a fog of mortification.
“Need some help?” Ull stretched his long legs as he stood. He crossed from the table to the kitchen, where I was pulling out Victoria’s milk frother.
“Sure. Want to get out the milk and chocolate syrup?”
“I am on it.” Ull opened the fridge while I took the marshmallows out of the cupboard. “You ready for exams?”
“Yes and no.” I poured the milk into the container and set it to heat. “Literature should be easy enough. Archaeology might be a little more complicated.”
“And Mythology?” Ull took three mugs from the cupboard and set them on the counter. Then he stood directly behind me and put his fists on the counter, boxing me in between his arms. “You feeling comfortable with that material?”
“Um . . .” My hands shook as I took the lid off the frother and filled the cups.
“Careful,” Ull murmured. He used a towel to wipe the drops I’d spilled, his chest pushing against my back as he leaned over.
“Thanks,” I whispered. Stirring the chocolate required an unusual amount of concentration. And when Ull ran his fingers over the backs of my hands, I nearly dropped the bag of marshmallows.
“Let me carry those.” Ull winked as he left the kitchen, three steaming cups in hand. “Here you go Emma.”
“You add anything to it?” She looked up hopefully.
“Three more days,” Ull handed her the cup. “Then you are home free.”
“Ugh. I hate exams.” Emma cradled her cup and buried her head in her textbook. “Stupid Statistics.”
“And for you, Miss Tostenson.” Ull held up a mug and set it on the table. “Are you coming?”
I walked out of the kitchen on legs that were roughly the consistency of jello.
“Do you want me to quiz you?” Ull offered.
“Okay.” I pulled out my chair and sat down. Ull opened his notebook.
“What is the primary function of the Norns?” He asked.
“To predict the fates of gods and mortals, and prophesize the events that shape the formation of the realms,” I recited by rote.
“Seems lacking, but that is what the book says. Next question.” Ull glanced down. “Who are the Valkyries?”
“Goddesses who travel on winged horses, collect fallen soldiers from battle, and bring them to Odin’s hall at Valhalla, where they train to protect Asgard at Ragnarok.”
“Correct. And how are the soldiers divided amongst the gods?” Ull questioned.
“Half to Odin, half to Freya.”
“You paid attention.” Ull nodded his approval.
“Kind of had to.” I nudged him with my toe. His eyebrow shot up. “You know what I mean,” I hissed.
“Oh, I do.” He reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Wish I had someone to quiz me on this boring math stuff. You guys make Mythology sound so exciting.” Emma piped up from her chair.
“It can be very exciting.” Ull gave me a sideways glance, and I ducked my head. I took a sip of hot chocolate to distract myself. “You have a little something,” Ull pointed to my mouth.
Oops.
“Let me.” He reached over and slowly brushed the foam from my upper lip with the pad of his thumb. My eyes rolled back in my head, and I let out an involuntary whimper.
“Oh, honestly.” Victoria’s voice came from the front door. “Just take her back to your place, and have your way with her, already.”
Ull pulled his hand back so quickly my head snapped forward.
“Victoria! I didn’t hear you come in.” I straightened my notebook.
“Well of course you didn’t.” She rolled her eyes.
“How was your exam?” Emma asked from her chair.
“Aced it. Now, I just have French and Costume Design, and it’ll be winter vacation for moi.” Victoria hung her coat in the closet and sat on the couch. “Do you all have tests tomorrow?”
“We do,” Ull gestured between us. “And speaking of, I should be heading out. Do you feel ready for the morning?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I shrugged. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Bye Ull,” Emma trilled from her chair. “Thanks for the hot cocoa!”
“God natt Emma. Victoria.” Ull nodded. I followed him to the front door, and pulled his coat from the closet. “Thank you,” he murmured as I handed it to him.
“No problem. You could stay longer if you want to,” I added hopefully.
“I know I could. But then you would not rest. And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I kept you up late the night before an exam?”
“A really, really good one?” I suggested. This energy between us was going to be the end of me. If I didn’t get a solid chunk of alone time with Ull, and soon, I might actually explode.
“Behave.” Ull lifted my chin with one finger. He brushed his lips against my cheek before resting his forehead against mine. “I shall see you in the morning. I will be the one bearing bagels and Earl Grey.”
“My hero,” I sighed.
“God natt, sweetheart.”
“Night,” I whispered. I stood with my hands pressed against the doorframe as Ull walked into the courtyard. He glanced over his shoulder as he rounded the corner, and the look in his eyes gave me goosebumps in a way the cold English night never could. Thank God it was nearly winter break. Two weeks together at Ýdalir was exactly what I needed.
St. Lucia’s Day dawned clear and crisp. Exams were over, and the mood in Unit 4 was jolly as I helped Victoria and Emma pack their suitcases.
“Happy Christmas!” Emma sang out, jubilant at the freedom vacation brought.
“Yes, Happy Christmas,” Victoria echoed slyly. “Have a wonderful time with your man. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…”
“So pretty much do anything you want!” Emma ribbed. Victoria threw a pillow at her. “What? You know it’s true.”
Shrugging, Victoria conceded. “It’s true. Enjoy your holiday.”
“It’s really not like that. I swear.” But my protest fell on deaf ears.
“Yes, I’m sure you’ve been spending months with that spectacular specimen and all you’re doing is studying.” Victoria snickered. Emma chuckled, amused by my blush.
If only. I was really hoping that two weeks together would weaken Ull’s resolve to be a pillar of propriety. Did that make me easy? I giggled, knowing I was probably the last person that term could ever apply to. Ardis always said that I was pure as the driven snow – a label I hated. But who could look at any of the boys from Nehalem without remembering them pulling wings off flies and eating worms? I’d had dates to prom and homecoming of course, but it went without saying, my romantic history was pretty limited.
“Trust me, if anything exciting happens, you’ll be the first to know. Now go home. Have a great holiday.” The girls hooted and hollered all the way to Victoria’s car.
With my friends safely off to see their families, I was left at loose ends. I triple checked the contents of my suitcase against my packing list and was going back a fourth ti
me when Ull appeared at the door. I rushed to it, eagerly bringing my bag with me. He pulled me close, then leaned back to give me a look that made me flush.
“Is this outfit appropriate to watch my Norse-god boyfriend’s Norse-goddess friend play Saint Lucia at the Norse church?” I twirled, to Ull’s amused smile.
“You look beautiful, Kristia.” He leaned in to smell my hair. “Just like always.” I blushed again and Ull escorted me to his car.
At the church, we saw twinkling, white lights strung around the roses in the garden and garlands hanging over each entrance. We walked through the courtyard, pausing at the stone bench where Ull had first opened up to me. So much had happened since then, it was hard to remember the time when I’d thought Ull was gone from my life forever. I grimaced – hard, but not impossible. I pushed the memory away and focused on the man standing in front of me. As always, looking at Ull took my breath away. He pulled me to his chest, holding me tightly before gently guiding me into the warm building.
Inside, the atmosphere was festive. Our tiny church was absolutely filled with St. Lucia’s day revelers, and we hurried to fill the last two seats in the pew where Gunnar waited.
“That’s my girl,” came Gunnar’s proud whisper. A hush fell over the group as Inga led a procession of young girls up the aisle. They were dressed in simple white robes with garlands on top of their heads, and they held lit candles in their hands. Inga’s robe was tied with a crimson sash, and her evergreen crown held a wreath of candles – actual lit candles. I would have set the church on fire in ten seconds flat if I donned a flaming headdress, but Inga walked so gracefully I wanted to cry. She was so beautiful, her pale hair shining in the candlelight. I snuck a look at Gunnar, who beamed with pride. Inga winked sweetly at her husband, gliding up the aisle trailed by little angels. At the front, the girls sang a song in Norwegian as Inga smiled seraphically throughout. The pastor gave a blessing, a handful of women in their bunads gave readings, and Inga glided back up the aisle, trailed by her choir of cherubs.
Ull squeezed my shoulders lightly as the last notes resonated through the room. I leaned into his tall frame and inhaled his delicious scent. The worshippers stood, chatting familiarly, and we followed suit.
“Join me outside?” Ull raised an eyebrow.
“Sure.” I put my hand in his and followed him through the crowd, out the side door of the church and into the courtyard. The night air cut through my heavy coat, and I shivered. Ull wrapped his scarf around my neck and guided me to a bench in the corner. It was backed almost against the ivy, positioned at just the right angle to block the evening breeze.
“Is that better?” He asked as he lowered himself onto the bench beside me.
“Much.” I nestled underneath his arm, letting him fold me into his embrace. We sat in silence, watching the moonlight bounce off the silvery-grey stones of the courtyard. Somewhere nearby a flower was in bloom, lending its sweet fragrance to the night air. The subtle scent smelled familiar. It was too cold for roses. Did night jasmine bloom in England?
“I am glad you came tonight,” Ull said. “It is nice to have you at my side for these things.”
“These things?”
“Family things,” he clarified. “We celebrate St. Lucia’s as a family, and it means a lot to me to have you with Gunnar and Inga and me.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be,” I said honestly. “I love spending time with you guys.”
Ull paused, stroking my shoulder with his thumb. He cupped my cheek in one hand, tilting my face upward so he could look into my eyes. The warmth resonating from his smile filled me with a feeling of absolute peace. There was no doubt I was exactly where I belonged.
“I am in love with you, Kristia Tostenson,” Ull whispered. “I think I always have been. And I know I always will be.”
I am in love with you…
He actually said the words. My breath caught. Tears welled in my eyes as his gaze bored right through me. I felt completely exposed, but it wasn’t a bad feeling – it was comforting. Ull Myhr was in love with me. He knew everything about me, knew my crazy mental tic, my obsessive compulsion with note taking, my inability to get through a day without trying to get him to make out with me… and he loved me anyway. The sexiest man I’d ever met; a living, breathing, Norse deity; was in love with me.
It was unreal.
Ull didn’t break eye contact as he rested his forehead against mine. I let out a small sigh, my breath coming in a white puff in the icy air. “I love you too, Ull.”
“I know.” The corners of his eyes crinkled and he wrapped his arms tightly around me, drawing me into his warmth. “And I am going to spend the rest of my existence making sure you understand the depths of my devotion to you.”
“Oh, Ull.” My head nuzzled his chest as I inhaled his delicious woodsy scent. “You have no idea–”
“There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you, mate.” Gunnar’s voice boomed across the courtyard. “Inga’s ready to cut the kransekake. You coming?”
“In a minute,” Ull growled.
“Oops. Did I interrupt something out here?” Gunnar shot us a salacious grin. “Sorry Kristia. But Inga waits for no man. Get your butts inside. Straks.”
“Fine,” Ull grumbled. He lifted me to my feet and guided me by the small of the back into the church. “This is not over,” he whispered as he followed the whistling Gunnar.
“I should hope not,” I whispered back.
We slipped into the warm hall to rejoin the party. Inga stood laughing with a group of twenty-something women, as Gunnar sidled up to put his hands around her waist. He stole a kiss, and she turned to beam up at him. The women “aw-ed” at the sweet gesture, and Gunnar ducked his head. The moment was small, but it was one I’d never forget.
Thousands of miles from home, I had found a community every bit as tightly-knit as Nehalem. I had found friends who accepted me, in spite of astronomical differences. I had a wonderful guy who, for some unfathomable reason, adored me beyond the bounds of logic. Standing very still, I relished the peace emanating from my center, the deep happiness I’d only known since meeting Ull Myhr. Nestled under his arm, I’d found my happy place.
Chapter Fourteen
IT WAS DARK WHEN we pulled up the tree-lined driveway of Ýdalir, crunching tires on gravel the only sound I could hear. Ull stepped out of the Range Rover, yawning in an uncharacteristic display of exhaustion. He’d been more tired than usual over the past few weeks, probably from worrying about the end-of-the-cosmos battle he was loathe to talk about. I knew he didn’t want to scare me, but my fate was so tied to his that anxiety was unavoidable. I couldn’t imagine a world without him, and I wished he would open up. If nothing else, I could be a shoulder to… well, talk on. The idea of Ull crying was ridiculous.
Ull carried our suitcases into the house, depositing mine in the guest room. I’d been hoping for some impropriety, but I knew better than to expect anything of the sort. I should have been grateful. Compared to a goddess, I was sure to be a disappointment, so the less experienced he was the better I’d look. On the other hand, Ull, in all his physical perfection, had waited an eternity to be with anyone. I seriously doubted I’d prove worth waiting for.
My thoughts were interrupted by his husky voice inviting me to join him on the terrace. I hurriedly ran a brush through my hair and raced through the living room. I didn’t want to waste another minute away from him. Outside, I skidded to a stop while my vision adjusted to the night. “Ull?”
I found him standing beneath the yew dale. He smiled expectantly, holding out one hand in welcome. I locked my eyes on his before staring at the ground. It was so familiar. A circle of candles framed the grass where he waited. They marked a path along the cobblestone walkway, rounding the English roses, leading to where I stood. Thousands of twinkling lights hung from the trees, and more candles stood in hurricane glasses along the stone wall.
It was all so carefully arranged. The lights in the trees
winked down at me like the stars overhead. Looking up, I remembered another night, dancing under the stars at my high school’s homecoming dance. It had been freezing cold. My date was one of the three Mikes in our class, and he’d been a little too handsy. I’d feigned a need for the powder room and found Ardis hiding in there too. We’d run away from our dud dates, sitting on the football field in our fancy dresses and complaining about how dismal our dating prospects were in such a tiny town. Would we ever meet anyone worthy of our wonderfulness?
I looked to the row of flickering candles in glasses along the wall. My mind moved to another memory, a bonfire on the beach after exams my freshman year at UPN. My platonic lab partner with questionable breath sat next to me on a thick driftwood log, squirming anxiously until he turned to plant an unwanted kiss squarely on my lips. Thankfully I’d had a rare moment of grace, reaching to pick up a rock at just the right moment so the poor guy dove headfirst into the sand. Would my Prince Charming ever show up?
My eyes scanned the garden again, taking in the twinkling lights, the candles framing the tree, and the man standing in the middle of it all, his hand stretched out waiting for me to join him. How had my life gone from pawsy, high school boys in a one-light town to this? I took a tentative step toward Ull and looked around again. The yard was well decorated, even for Ýdalir. Could this be what I thought it was?
Everything clicked into slow motion as I realized what was happening. I made my way forward, carefully placing one foot in front of the other, sure I was going to trip over myself. I was hyper-aware of the cool, English night, the whoosh of a nearby owl taking flight, the sound of the small stones beneath my feet. I zeroed in on the glow from Ull’s brilliant eyes.
I made my way to my future, pausing breathlessly before the standing form of my real-life Nordic hero. He reached out to take both of my hands in his, the brilliant white smile never leaving his face. He squeezed my fingers. I breathed in and out, trying to commit every detail of this moment to memory.
“Kristia Tostenson,” Ull began in his deep voice, making my knees weak. “You have changed my life beyond measure. In all my years, I never knew I could feel so peaceful, so at home. I have searched the realms for a place to belong, never seeing it was you I should have been searching for. I am home wherever you are. Where your heart is, mine is at peace. You are my everything.”
