by ST Bende
“Maybe. But I know a few things you don’t.”
“Oh really? What exactly do you know?” I could tell Ull wasn’t taking me very seriously. My thinly stretched nerves threatened to snap.
“Listen, I know you’re going to keep Asgard safe, okay? That you’ll imprison whoever is controlling these giants and elves and whatever else is trying to kill us. That you’re going to use magic to trap the perp in some silvery bubble so he can’t hurt us again.” I’d seen as much last week. At the time, I thought it was another dream, but recent events made it clear I had to start taking my dreams a lot more seriously.
“How could you possibly know about the Asgardian prison cell? Or about my magic?”
“Wait, you can actually do magic?”
“Do not change the subject.”
“Fine. I saw it in another vision. I didn’t tell you because I thought it was a dream. Happy?”
“Not even a little. This is getting too dangerous for you. If our enemies find out everything you know about us… and them...” Ull shook his head. “Kristia, I do not want you to change for me. I cannot allow you to tie your fate to mine.”
“Oh, please. Like my fate could ever not be tied to yours. If you are going to… fall,” I choked on the word, “then I want to be with you. You are my life and nothing – epic battle, death, homicidal giants – nothing could keep me away from you. I love you,” I finished, hoping he understood how true my words were.
“And you would choose…” His eyes studied the floor.
“I would choose to die an Asgardian by your side rather than change a single thing about you. I love you exactly as you are, and I always will.”
“Kristia, I cannot allow this.”
“I’m sorry, Ull. It’s not your choice to make. I’ll go to Odin by myself – you know I will. Inga will take me. And you know he’ll let me into Asgard if it means keeping you in his army.” Ull’s eyes burned. He was furious, whether at Inga or me I wasn’t sure.
“You would go behind my back?” His voice was so cold I almost checked the windows for frost.
“If it’s the only way to save you, then yes.” I defied him.
“How could you do this to me?”
“I’m not doing anything to you. I’m doing this for you.”
“I do not want this.”
“Tough. It’s happening. You made this decision the day you asked to borrow my notes.” We stared eye to eye, glaring at each other. I was not going to back down.
Ull’s shoulders dropped. “Why are you doing this, Kristia? Why do you insist on doing the exact opposite of everything I ask of you?”
My mouth twitched. “Nobody’s ever told you no before, have they?”
“Not in this realm.”
“Well get used to it.”
Ull gave me a shaky look. “Are you certain? Do you have to do this?”
“Absolutely,” I declared without hesitation.
“I do not agree with this.”
“I do not agree with letting you march off to your death. Guess we’re even.” We stared at each other. Ull was the first to blink.
“Then we have work to do.” He stood in resignation, pulling me to him and kissing the top of my head. “I do not agree with this,” he reiterated.
“Do you want me to marry you?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then get used to making decisions that work for both of us – not just you.”
“This decision does not work for me.”
“Fine, then get used to doing things that make your wife happy.”
He looked like he wanted to stomp his foot, but I knew I had gotten my way. He led me to the table and sat me on his knee. Opening his laptop, he began the call he had spent his lifetime hoping he’d never have to make. “God ettermiddag, Olaug,” he said despondently to her image on the screen. “Kristia wants in. Will you arrange for a meeting with Odin and Balder?”
“Veldig bra! Ja. I would be honored.” Olaug knew what this meant. “Kristia, I do hope Odin gives his consent. You would make a fine goddess.” She signed off. I sat for a moment as I processed what I might become.
I smiled bravely. “Do you think he’ll say yes?”
“I should say absolutely not. He has never allowed it before – it goes against everything he stands for. But with my luck,” Ull said wryly, “it is not out of the question.”
“Good. Ull, you have to trust me. Everything is going to work out.” Ull looked unsteady as he faced a reality he’d feared for an eternity. I cupped his perfect face between my hands. Without thinking, I leaned in and kissed him soundly. He started to pull back, but I held his jaw between my palms, forcing our lips to keep contact. He gave in, wrapping both arms tightly around my waist and crushing my torso to his. I lost myself as his arms held me firmly in place and his lips reminded me of how much was at stake. I released my hold on his face and tangled my fingers in his hair, feeling the strands wrap around my engagement ring. His lips were so warm. His breathing grew heavy and he was the first to pull away.
“Kristia, what are you doing to me?” He groaned. “You cannot kiss me like that to get your way.”
“I just did.” I smiled lazily. “Now listen. I want to be a god. I can do this. I am going to be just fine. Really.”
I wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to convince.
I thought the matter was settled, but as we were cleaning up after dinner, Ull brought it up one final time.
“Kristia, are you absolutely certain you want to tie your fate with mine? I cannot escape Ragnarok, but you may still be able to live a happy life with someone else if we somehow save your realm.” The words had to hurt him.
“Oh, quit trying to get rid of me.” I dried my hands on a dishtowel. “I’m not living in any world that you’re not a part of, so stop trying to save me from a fate I don’t want to be saved from. Whatever happens, we fight together. And if it comes to it, we die together. But you,” I growled, “are not facing anything without me. Ever.”
Ull’s eyes broke my heart, but he pulled me to him, breathing deeply into my hair. I inhaled the invigorating scent of pine that followed him wherever he went and rubbed the knotted muscles of his back beneath my palms. “I don’t know how to convince you, Ull, but I know, deep down, that Ragnarok will not be the end of your family. You have to trust me.” He looked at me questioningly, then kissed my forehead and poured two cups of tea.
“Kristia Tostenson, you are something else.”
I remembered a conversation we’d had in the fall. “Remember when you told me about Elsker? How she told you where to find me?”
“Yes?”
“Well, why did you? Come find me, I mean? According to Inga, you’ve been following the rules your whole life. Why stop now?”
“Ah.” Ull raised his eyebrows. We wandered to the garden with steaming mugs. “That is a good question. I am not entirely sure I know the answer myself. Most likely, I was so lonely I could not take it anymore. I have always done what Asgard asks of me. A warrior lives a terribly isolating existence. Perhaps I just got greedy; felt like I deserved my own happiness.” He shrugged. “Things are different for Asgardians than they are for humans. Our lives are laid out for us on the day we are born. The Norns foretell our futures and, with very few exceptions, things play out exactly as they say, all in accordance with the law. I was born to be a warrior first, titled god second, to serve my realm over myself. Duty above all – it is our way.”
“That sounds stifling.” I couldn’t imagine having my life mapped out for me.
“It is. And like I said, I was terribly lonely. When Elsker told me there was someone out there for me, she threw me a lifeline. It was my chance to have what I had always wanted, to not be alone anymore – even if it did openly defy the law. It took me a while to warm to the idea, but eventually I did. It saved me.”
“I’m glad you came around.”
“I am too.
“Ull?” Knowing this was shaky gro
und, I trod lightly. “Do you really believe someone else controls your destiny?”
“The Three Sisters – yes. Why?”
“Do you ever get sick of that? Of not feeling in charge of your own life?”
“You have no idea.” His voice was dark. “But that is how things are. We each have our posts – some of us are warriors, some control the elements, and some lay out the future. It is our way.” He kept saying that. The Asgardian way. “You know, that is part of why I seemed so angry when we first met. I was jealous.”
“Jealous?” The God of Winter was jealous of Nehalem’s resident nutso?
“Yes. Your life is yours to live – you picked up and moved from Oregon to Wales just because you wanted to.”
“You moved from Asgard to Bibury.”
“But it is not the same. I must do what is asked of me for the rest of my existence. Even here I am at Odin’s beck and call. And you,” he stroked my cheek softly, “Your destiny is totally in your hands. Of course I was jealous.”
An idea was mulling around in my head, an inkling of why Elsker had sent Ull to me instead of to another Asgardian. Maybe she was sick of these Fate ladies controlling everything and she wanted me to show Ull he had the power to make his own destiny. Being human, I had a totally different perspective than any Asgardian. And maybe Elsker wanted me to do what no Asgardian girl could do – show Ull he could buck the system and take charge of his own life.
“Jeg elsker deg, Kristia,” Ull said, taking hold of my hand.
“I love you too.” I lowered my head to his chest, thinking of all he had shouldered. I wished more than anything that I could put his mind at ease. I knew everything was going to work out – I just had no idea how.
Chapter Sixteen
THE NEXT DAY, ULL was in a considerably lighter mood. “Sweetheart,” he kissed my head over breakfast, “We will put up a good fight come Ragnarok. But I do not want to think about it anymore. I just want to enjoy our time in the country while we have it.”
“Really? Just like that? Aren’t you still upset?” I certainly wouldn’t have been able to shut off my worry switch.
“I am fine, darling. Let us not talk about it again.”
“Fair enough. What do you want to talk about?”
Ull raised an eyebrow. “How about our wedding?”
“Right. Um, who exactly is coming from your side?”
“Probably just my parents and grandfather. Odin does not like to have too many of us away from Asgard at once.”
Now it was my turn to worry. First, I was beyond nervous about meeting Ull’s parents. Ull’s mom had golden hair – not hair the color of gold, but hair actually made of gold. And Thor was, well, a big deal. The most influential person I’d ever spent time with was the Mayor of Nehalem, and he had to be nice to me because he was Ardis’ uncle. The rulers of the celestial realm didn’t have that obligation.
“Do you think they’ll like me? I can’t be what they imagined for a daughter-in-law.”
“Of course they will like you. Why would you ask?”
“Just wondering.” Wondering if they’ll like me enough to make me a god. Wondering if I’ll be any good at being divine. Wondering what it’ll feel like to be changed. That’s all.
“Darling, you have nothing to worry about on that front.” Yeah, right.
I put my worries aside on Christmas morning. When I woke up, I pulled open the curtains to find a thick dusting of snow outside. It coated the grounds in a fresh powder, making the entire countryside look new. I threw my gray ballet sweater on top of the blue pajama pants and tank top I’d worn to bed. The sweater was as close as I would ever get to the graceful dance. I padded in blue, fuzzy slippers toward the smell of apple pastries.
Ull was taking Olaug’s tarts out of the oven. I snuck up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned with a huge smile and bent to kiss me, his lips hot on mine. Breathing evaded me as my fingers curled into fists against the muscles of his back. He lifted me, drawing me even closer. My need for air won out, and I pulled back gasping.
“Am I ever going to get used to this?”
“I hope not.” He smiled. “Happy Christmas, darling.”
“Mmm…” I snuggled closer, still in his arms. “It is happy.” I breathed in his deliciously woodsy scent and tilted my head up. Ull’s chiseled jaw was calling to me, and I stretched on my tiptoes to kiss it.
“I have a gift for you.” He untangled himself and reached for a small wrapped box on the counter.
“You mean the diamond engagement ring wasn’t my Christmas present?”
Ull laughed, the jovial laugh I loved best. “No, love.” He handed me a cup of tea and pointed to the living room. Overnight, he’d transformed it into a pacific-northwestern paradise. Real evergreen garlands hung across the mantel and above the French doors. A six-foot tree stood in the corner, decorated with white lights and red, felt ornaments. Each side of the French doors hosted an evergreen wreath and a fire burned in the fireplace, filling the small space with its warmth.
“Do you like it?” Ull squeezed my hand.
“It’s perfect. It smells like home.” It did. The evergreens took me thousands of miles back to the forests of Oregon, and the aroma coming from the oven reminded me of the apple pies Mormor used to bake with our Christmas supper.
“That was my goal. Happy Christmas, my love.” He held the wrapped box out for me.
“Oh! Wait, I have something for you too.” I ran to my room and rummaged through my drawer until I came up with my gift. I’d agonized over what to buy Ull, and I was really excited to give it to him. Racing back to the living room, I skidded to a stop in my slippered feet. “Here.” I thrust my present into Ull’s hands.
He laughed at my enthusiasm and pulled me down so we both sat on the soft rug in front of the fireplace.
“You first,” I said. I couldn’t wait. He smiled as I bounced on my knees.
“Hmm.” He tugged at the bow with excruciating slowness. “It seems to be stuck.” He was teasing me and I couldn’t take it.
“Oh just open it already!” I lunged for the present intending to rip the wrapping right off, but Ull was too quick. He pulled it out of my reach, and I nearly fell right into his lap. “Hey,” I mumbled as I righted myself. “That’s not fair.” If my grace didn’t step it up once I became a goddess, I was going to be majorly disappointed.
“Sorry, darling, I’ll try not to tease you anymore.”
“Oh, yeah. Like that’ll happen anytime soon.”
“True.” But he did open the present a little less slowly, shooting teasing glances at me all the while. When he finally got the wrapping paper off, he reached into the box. “A rugby ball. Thank you, darling.”
“No, look at the ball.”
He did, and recognition dawned. “Is this–”
“I got the whole National team to sign it!”
“How did you get this?”
“Inga and I waited outside the locker room after a game. She had to point out which guys were the players because I had no clue, and we just asked them all to sign.”
“Kristia, this is really thoughtful. I love it.” He turned the ball over in his hands. “Wow. Thank you.” He reached over to hug me. “Nobody has ever done anything like this for me before.”
“You deserve it,” I said simply. “You’re their number one fan.”
Ull shook his head. “You are something else, Kristia Tostenson. Now you open yours.”
I tugged at the white bow and it slipped off the box. I lifted the lid and inhaled sharply. “Ull,” I whispered. “This is too much.” Snowflake-shaped, diamond earrings rested on a velvety cushion. I lifted them gently; the light catching and shooting beams across the room. “They’re so beautiful.”
“They were my mother’s.” He smiled. “My father gave them to her on their wedding day, and she gave them to me after he died. She told me to give them to the woman I wanted to marry.” He took them from my hands and undid th
eir clasps. I put them in my ears very carefully, watching the walls where they cast their reflections from the fire.
“Thank you,” I whispered, tears welling. “I can’t believe you would give these to me.”
“Why, Kristia? You are my family now.”
“But they mean so much to you.”
“You mean more.” I scooted over to him and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You know,” he said with a twinkling eye, “I think I could get used to spending Christmas in the country with you.”
“Me too,” I murmured. This was shaping up to be the best holiday ever.
The best holiday ever came to a screeching halt two days later. Ull and I were sitting in the garden watching the squirrels chase each other across the low stone fence when Olaug came walking up the back path. She was supposed to be enjoying the holidays with her family, so her presence could only mean one thing.
“It is time,” came her cheery greeting. “Odin and Balder are ready to meet with you.”
“Now?” This was mortifying. I was wearing jeans and one of Ull’s sweaters, hardly the ensemble I’d imagined for meeting my future grandfather-in-law, the ruler of Asgard. Why hadn’t I put on something nicer today?
“Now.” Olaug smiled. She ushered us inside. I shot Ull a panicky glance as he squeezed my hand.
“You do not have to do this, Kristia.” It came out as a plea.
“Yes. I do.” I took a deep breath, shook my hair loose from its bun and smoothed the front of my too-big sweater. It was now or never.
Olaug headed to the library, where she pulled a book from the shelf. The wall folded out to reveal a staircase leading down, lit by wall sconces and carpeted in the softest of fabrics. These waters were too deep for me. I shot Ull an accusatory glare. “You didn’t tell me you have a secret hideout!”
Ull shrugged. “It never came up.” He gestured, and Olaug led the way down the staircase, kicking off what I had no doubt would be a very stressful afternoon.
