What Once Was Perfect

by Zoe York

  She nodded.

  “Excellent. You can take the boys home with you.” And once again, the Calhoun women laughed.

  Chapter Ten

  The thunder of children’s footsteps on the stairs woke Laney up, and she hurried to the landing just as Connor and Max discovered their full stockings hanging from the banister into the hallway on the first floor. They glanced up at her, bright faces thrilled that the promise of a magical visit had actually happened. Behind her, Evie bounced, barely able to contain her own excitement. Claire mumbled something about coffee and scones as she slipped past them, but Laney and her sister were happy to watch the boys hoot and holler about the action figures, magazines, chocolate, personalized mixed CDs, and even socks and oranges that Santa had left them.

  “Can we open our presents too, Mom?” Max peered up between the balusters. Evie shook her head and his face sank into a pout.

  “Max, remember what we talked about last night. Mommy needs coffee and a bite to eat, and she needs to get the video camera ready. Then you can open your presents. It won’t be long, I promise. Go see how Grandma is doing with first breakfast.”

  Connor’s stomach growled at the mention of food, so Max followed his brother down the hall. First and second breakfasts were a long standing Calhoun Christmas tradition. Second breakfast was really an early lunch, not usually hitting the table until eleven in the morning or later, but it was always breakfast food. Orange juice, some fancy egg dish, sausage, toast, fried tomatoes. First breakfast was something quick to keep everyone sustained through present opening and playing.

  Claire tasked Connor with carrying the tray, loaded with scones, clotted cream, preserves, and glasses of milk for the boys. Max followed with plates and cutlery, and Claire brought up the rear with three steaming mugs of coffee. Evie gave the official nod to Max, and as the women dug into the food as wrapping paper and ribbons started flying through the air.

  Max insisted on sorting the presents by matching wrapping paper, so first they opened the gifts Evie had wrapped, then Claire’s, and finally the boxes that Laney had brought from Chicago. Her gifts for the boys had been suggested by Evie: a tablet for Connor and a Nintendo DS for Max. It had been harder to find the right presents for her mother and sister, but she’d finally found items that were special enough. An oversized black cashmere wrap for her mother, with a hardcover bestseller that hid the author’s signature inside the front cover nestled on top. She’d stood in line for an hour at the DePaul Center Barnes & Noble to get that personalized note, For Claire, who never gives up, and it was worth it to see her mother get all verklempt with happy tears. For Evie, she’d gone hog-wild in Sephora, filling a gift basket with treats from Smashbox, Bobbi Brown, Philosophy and Urban Decay.

  She had been spoiled herself that morning, with her family giving her new workout clothes, gift certificates for her favourite Chicago takeout restaurants, a desk calendar featuring pictures of the boys, a pile of fantasy novels by her favourite authors, a sparkly stethoscope decoration handmade by Max and a stocking full of dark chocolate and Lush bath bombs. And wrapped in and around all of the gift giving was a happy warmth, a joy and grounded appreciation that they were able to spend the holidays together.

  Two hours later, Max had convinced Connor to set aside his tablet to stage an attack on the castle (which Max would easily fend off, as he kept the superior fire power tools for his own force), and Claire was prepping for second breakfast. Laney had gotten dressed in her green jersey dress and thigh-high grey knit socks, her new favourite winter leg covering. All the warmth of tights without the annoying rolling waistband. She finished the outfit with the green and white elf hat, and did little jig at her reflection in the mirror.

  “You’re happy.” Evie strolled into Laney’s room.

  “It’s Christmas.”

  “Mm-hmm. Are you expecting a visitor today?”

  “What, Kyle?” Laney shook her head. “He’s got family stuff today. I am going to see him tomorrow, though. Keep that under your hat, okay?”

  Evie smirked.

  “What?”

  “I’m not sure it’s going to be a secret for long. Kyle’s downstairs in the kitchen having coffee with Mom.”

  “EVIE!” She spun around in a circle, looking for something that she couldn’t remember all of a sudden, then gave up and glared at her sister. “I’m going downstairs. You. Be. Good.”

  “Always, always,” Evie said, chuckling under her breath.

  Laney managed to slow her pace, if not her heart rate, as she went downstairs and she strolled into the kitchen with relative calm. “Hey, you.” She looked back and forth between Kyle and her mom. “You are…here. Having coffee. That’s nice.”

  Kyle smiled. “Yep. Just being neighbourly.”

  Claire stood up to make room for Laney at the table, but Kyle waved her down.

  “Actually, Claire, I was hoping that Laney might go for a quick walk with me.”

  All three Calhoun women nodded, each in a different way, and Laney kicked her sister in the shin for no good reason other than they were sisters and she was off-kilter. Evie giggled and instead of kicking her back, gave her a gentle shove toward the door. She slid into her boots, pulled on her parka and followed Kyle outside.

  “I like your hat.” Kyle flicked the furry white brim. “Festive.”

  Laney stared at him. “What are you doing here? I mean, thank you. But what are you doing here? This really isn’t a good idea.”

  Kyle shrugged. “I didn’t think it would be that big a deal. I’m just heading home to change. I spent the night at my parents’ place, but there are twelve people competing for the shower, so this is easier. And it was a good excuse to bring you a present.” He leaned in close to whisper in her ear. “Because I really, really liked your present, and you deserve something in return.”

  She had started the slow burn of arousal the second Evie told her Kyle was downstairs, but that brush of hot breath against her ear sent her up in flames. She sucked in a breath, mindful that they were still in view of the kitchen windows. He pulled her toward his truck, and she had to skip to keep up. Excited in more ways than one, she pressed her hip into his as they stopped next to the driver’s side door.

  “Down, girl,” Kyle murmured.

  “You don’t understand what you do to me.” She groaned into his shoulder. “It has literally been years since I’ve been this turned on, and I only have a couple of days to take advantage of it. This is a bonus that I wasn’t counting on.”

  Kyle turned his back against the truck and tugged Laney hard between his legs. He stared at her for a beat, and then opened and closed his mouth. His beautiful mouth, that could go from an open, happy grin to hungry, restless kissing in the blink of an eye. But he wasn’t leaning in to kiss her, and he wasn’t grinning. He raked his eyes over her face, a tiny twitch in his jaw the only betrayal of an otherwise neutral facade. She had no idea what he was feeling, or thinking, and she hoped that this wasn’t about to get heavy. Hot and heavy, on the other hand, would be just fine.

  “I was going to give you your present and a quick kiss and be on my way,” Kyle said, drawing out each word with deliberate calm. “But when you say things like that, when you remind me that the next time that we’re together might be the last time, then I can’t help but want to drag you off to a dark corner. You make me lose my mind, Laney.”

  She let a happy smile creep across her face. She didn’t need to play the seductress, or any other game. They wanted each other with honest abandon, and neither of them would fight it.

  “Want to go make out in the barn?”

  Kyle lowered his face to hers, rubbing their noses together. “Absofuckinglutely. But first—” he opened the truck door and grabbed a slightly crumbled, probably re-used, glittery red gift bag. “This is for you.”

  She reached inside and pulled out a familiar well-worn t-shirt. “Your swim team shirt?”

  “You used to like sleeping in it.”

  She
nodded, remembering. “It looks exactly the same.”

  Kyle returned the shirt to the gift bag and stashed it in the truck, then captured her hand in his, pulling Laney toward the barn. “I haven’t worn it since we broke up. I actually tucked it away in a box, which has lived at my parents’ place for a while now. I was thinking about you last night, and decided it might be a fitting Christmas present.”

  Appreciation fluttered through Laney’s lower belly, softening the tug of arousal into something infinitely more dangerous. She needed to be careful that they didn’t conflate whatever they were doing now with what they used to have. She knew that Kyle didn’t mean for that shirt to be a Trojan horse, and she understood why he would think it was the most appropriate gift—it was free, and sexy in a not-trying-too-hard kind of way. And he didn’t need to get her anything at all, but now that he had, it felt right. Dangerous, but right.

  “You’re thinking hard about something.” Kyle pulled her close.

  She shook her head. “Nothing important, don’t worry. Thank you, for the shirt, and the visit. And the last few days. You are...you are just so easy to like. How did I forget that about you?”

  “It’s been a long time.” Kyle shrugged. “Don’t overthink it. This is just us having fun, right?”

  “Right.” But even as relief flooded into her heart, Laney wasn’t so sure that either of them was being totally honest on that point.

  Kyle just wanted her to stop thinking. Giving her the t-shirt was risky, but she accepted it as he intended. There were never any hidden agendas with Laney, something he appreciated even more after living with Crystal. There weren’t any promises of a future life together, either, but he didn’t need to live like a monk anymore. Two years was more than enough time for soul-searching and penance. As long as Laney was close enough to touch, to breath in, to taste like his goddamn last meal, he would take whatever she offered and not ask any questions about what it might cost him when she inevitably left.

  The neatly painted red and white barn was built on a slope, running away from the house, so the closest door opened into the top floor. Kyle knew that Claire had sold her herd of sheep after her husband passed away, and leased her fields to neighbours for crops, but he didn’t know what she had stored in the barn. Stepping inside, he was surprised to see a speedboat on a trailer bed.

  “Mom said there was a boat in here, but I thought she meant a canoe or a rowboat.” Laney whistled, walking around to take in the length of it. “Want to get in?”

  Kyle grinned and offered her a hand as she jumped up on the trailer. “You going to be okay in that dress?”

  She winked. “You might need to give me a little boost.”

  He joined her on the trailer, close enough to feel her breath warm his face as she looked up at him. “Hold on tight,” he whispered, cupping her waist in his hands. She was feather light, the warmth of her slim frame and her fragile scent more of a strain than the effort it would take to lift her. With a quick count to three, he had Laney up and scootched back so she was sitting on the edge of the boat, her knees at his chest.

  “Do you like my tights?”

  He slid his hands down her calves and into the top of her sheepskin boots, admiring the narrow ankles and subtle curves more than what covered them, but he knew how to answer this question. “They’re keeping some of my favourite parts nice and warm.”

  “Not all of your favourite parts,” Laney said with a wicked smile, lifting her skirt just high enough to extend an invitation.

  Kyle curved his fingers up over her knees, across the tops of her thighs until he found a knit edge and the soft, smooth skin above. He sucked in a quick breath as his brain translated to his cock. Warm. Open. Inviting. He splayed his hands wide, his wrists on the elastic top of the sock stockings, the tips of his fingers grazing the lace edge of her panties. “These are the best tights ever,” he said, his voice rough with intent. “Lean back.”

  She shook her head and reached down to toy with his belt buckle, pressing her breasts into his face in the process. “Come on up here and I’ll hop on for a ride.”

  Kyle stilled her hands and smacked her lightly on the hip. “Sorry, sweetheart. I really wasn’t planning on this. I don’t have a condom.”

  She groaned and pressed her forehead against his. He could practically hear her thought process and he needed to put a stop to it. Way too tempting. His cock twitched and his heart rate picked up. He was a bastard for even considering it.

  “Kyle,” she whispered. “I have an IUD. I know it’s stupid, but...”

  “That should be the end of the sentence, Doctor.” She bit her lip, then his ear, and it was his turn to waver. Definitely a bastard. “I haven’t been with anyone in two years. Had a full check up in the summer.”

  “This would be my first time ever without a condom. I know it’s reckless, but I trust you.” She brushed her lips against his. “Be inside me. Please.”

  He held her face against his, deepening the kiss. She tasted like berry jam. He was going to hell, and she tasted like goddamn fruit. With a ragged breath, he gave her a little push to move into the boat.

  “Besides, it’s cold.” She swung her legs into the boat and, after pausing to divest herself of her underwear, she moved over, making room for him to join her on the bench seat. “This way we can share body heat.”

  He was more than ready, and he knew that Laney would be too, so Kyle pulled her into his lap and under the warm cover that her dress provided, he unzipped and fisted his erection toward home. Don’t get carried away. Maybe an amazing five star resort. Better than home, but you can’t stay forever. She was slick, and her folds parted readily for him. He didn’t enter her right away, wanting to steal a moment of anticipation, and she twisted her hips trying to capture the head of his cock. He chuckled and reached between them to stroke around her clit, earning a whimper of appreciation. Her hips jerked wildly, achieving what her deliberate wiggling only teased at. Home.

  She was tight, hot, and impossibly soft. He was gripped in a velvet sleeve lined in the most addictive substance known to man, and as Kyle drove his hips up and into her he knew he’d never get enough of Laney. He needed to deal with that thought, but this wasn’t the time, not when he was half out of his mind, lunging toward a hard orgasm, desperate to take her with him, make it good—no, amazing—for her so he’d get to do this again. Over and over they ground against each other, her fingers replacing his as she climbed the peak. And then she was clenching him, her pussy spasming around his cock, her hands in a death grip on his shoulders, her thighs tight around his hips, and he jerked too, coming inside her.

  They clung to each other for a long moment as their breathing returned to normal. He couldn’t get over how simple and easy this still was between them. No, scratch that. This was its own thing. There was no comparing it to the past. “That was unbelievable. Fast, but wow. You felt amazing, Laney.”

  She rewarded his compliment with an uncharacteristic blush that tugged at his gut, reminding him again that she wasn’t as worldly as she played at. “Better tuck yourself away before I get up, wouldn’t want my favourite part of you to get cold.” And just like that, she was back to business.

  At his the truck, Kyle squeezed her hand and gave her quick, hard kiss that left her lips numb and her heart racing. “I’ll make dinner tomorrow night. Come over around six. And Laney … I’d like you to stay for the entire evening. I want more than a stolen moment.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Boxing Day started with Pilates, Evie pushing them extra hard because of the bread pudding. Laney was still waiting for her mother and sister to say something, anything, about Kyle’s visit. She hadn’t told them that she was going out that night, and once the boys disappeared to build a Lego fortress, she bit the bullet.

  “So about Kyle’s visit yesterday,” she started, rolling her exercise mat up to keep her hands busy. “He stopped by to invite me over for dinner. To catch up. Tonight. And I’m going.”

&nbs
p; Evie raised both eyebrows, as if to say, riiiiigghhhht, but she kept her lips shut and for that, Laney was grateful. Claire just nodded sagely, as if this had been her grand plan all along, but she too kept her silence.

  “I’m sure I’m going to regret asking, but you seriously don’t have any questions?”

  “Oh Laney, I have a million questions,” said Claire. “But asking them won’t change anything and I’m not sure you have the answers yet. I’d think you must be nervous?”

  She wasn’t. She considered Kyle’s question from the day before. More of a command then a question. The directness of what he had said surprised her, and she hadn’t answered right away. Instead she unzipped his fleece sweater and pressed her face into his neck, feeling the warmth transfer from his skin to hers. It was a reasonable request, one that he wouldn’t have to ask of any other date. But it was more than she’d ordinarily give of herself, and Laney didn’t care. She’d leaned fully against the wide, hard planes of his chest, acknowledging that she did want more. And there was no reason to hold back when they only had a few days. They should embrace the possibilities of a fling, the freedom of zero expectations. She’d nodded her head against his body and then turned without a word and fled inside before she said something smart-alecky that might ruin the moment.

  “Why would I be nervous?”

  Evie and Claire exchanged silent looks.

  “Hello? Evie, what’s Mom alluding to?”

  Her sister shrugged. “Oh, you know. Kyle’s always loved you, he’s the only man you’ve ever loved, yadda yadda yadda. Potential for great messiness. That kind of thing.”

  Laney sighed and plunked her butt down on the couch next to her mother. “I promise you, Kyle and I are on the same page about that. We both want to move forward in our lives. And we want very different things. No one is going to get hurt.”

  Claire cocked her head to the side. “Just how much have you two been talking? That’s some pretty heavy subject matter.”