by J. L. Beck
“You’re being treated for your injuries.” One of the men in a lab coat said, his voice startled and his eyes refusing to meet my own. I stared at him blankly, knowing that he was being deceitful. I could practically see the lies written on his face and the next set forming in his mind.
The second man looked between his partner and me, something secretive passing between the two of them. I knew then that he was about to try and feed me another lie just to keep me quiet, and I refused to be fed lies. I shoved off the bed with little effort, my fists clenched together as I felt the distinct urge to release the inner beast in me on them. He would get the answers out of them that I desperately needed.
“They lie! All humans lie!!” A growl erupted from deep within my chest, causing all of the men to take a cautious step back.
“Why don’t you sit back down on the bed and we’ll help you figure everything out. Okay?” The third man who hadn’t said or done anything yet stated calmly. It was a facade, though, I could hear the fear and panic rising in his voice with each word spoken.
I shook my head in irritation and decided I would give these people one more chance, one more second to explain things truthfully to me. Otherwise, they were all as good as dead.
“Tell. Me. Where. I. Am.” I screamed each word my voice growing louder with every single second of silence that surrounded us. They needed to understand just how close to death they were. I was on the verge of crumbling, my vision fading to black. I had one urge, and one urge only, and that was the need for answers and if bones had to be broken, and blood be shed to get those answers then so be it.
“I…” Lab coat wearer number one stumbled over his words, while the other two seemed to have pulled their balls out of their assholes. This caused a bubble of hysterical laughter to form inside of me as I watched them take a stance of dominance. If they weren’t shaking in their fucking boots now, then they would be the second I wrapped my hands around their throats and squeezed the ever fucking life out of them.
“Killer? If that’s even what you would like to be referred to as…” Number two spoke to me directly, as if he was trying to give me control over one simple thing, such as my name. My muscles ached with pent up rage, control was not something they had given to me as a gift. It was something I took.
“You won’t have enough time to say my name, let alone remember it once I rip your body apart so my name doesn’t really matter now does it?” I tilted my head at them in questioning.
“Of course, I’ll start with your throat because I hate it when my prey screams as I rip their limbs from their bodies.” I sneered continuing as I tried not to lose focus on the important things here. Things like the girl and finding out where it was that they were holding me.
One of the men smirked, still seeming nonetheless unfazed by my anger, “I’ll just call you Killer since we have no paperwork on who you are.” He stepped closer to me, hands up in a way that said he didn’t want to scare me. I could’ve laughed had I not been so pissed off. Like he could even do that.
I forced my fingers to move backwards, to grip the sheets just to hold back the urge to wrap them around his throat before I could get answers. Still, my body refused to react. It was as if I was in some sort of trance.
“You’re a killer, right? Made to create death and mayhem, isn’t that correct?” His eyes narrowed, and in them, I saw a hate that mirrored my own, it lingered and festered like an infected wound.
“To rip people to shreds, to maim and kill, and not care that you’re doing so? To be relentless by nature, to rip the life from those that you seek unfit of living?” He was mind-fucking me. Trying to get me to spill something, a secret, an answer, anything. Did I not just tell him I would rip him from limb to limb? Or did he need an example?
My mind and body told me to lock everything up, that I needed to hide inside myself, but I had never been a runner, a person to hide from the dark that lingered around every corner.
“I don’t think you really know who I am at all.” My teeth ground together, and somehow I had managed to bite the inside of my cheek. The taste of blood filling my mouth caused a haze to fall over my mind everything inside of my going dark for a moment.
“Because if you did know who I was, you would’ve been running for the hills already,” I whispered to him, making sure he understood the finality in my voice. I would end him and his pathetic life the second I could get my body to follow through with the actions I wanted it to do. My hands wouldn’t move past gripping the sheets, If only I could get the blood inside me to move to other parts of my body that I could take back full control of myself.
“I’m not scared of you, Killer.” A smile formed on his face. “No one is.” He finished, and I could feel his voice drifting off in my head, the darkness pulling at the far corners of my mind.
“You will be.” I snarled trying my hardest to fight against the darkness, that wanted to pull me under. Fighting against the unforeseen force was pointless because as soon as it’s claws sunk into my chest everything faded away and I was thrown through a time portal.
A voice filled my head but sounded far off in the distance.
“Where are you?” The voice questioned repeating itself many times. Try as I may I continued to shake my head over and over again ignoring the voice as much as I could.
“I told you I don’t know!” I screamed breaking my silence after enduring the same question for what seemed to be hours. As soon as the words left my dry lips a searing pain sliced through my skull. Images played out like a play right before my eyes, colors of every spectrum showed, and a smile ghosted my lips as an image of Maggie filtered into the dark spots. Filling my heart and mind with tiny specks of light.
“Do you not understand the severity of your actions, Killer? Do you not understand that with her birth comes your death?” Fuck! This voice was talking in circles, circles that I refused to follow him through. Instead, I focused all my attention on the images of Maggie and me that had appeared magically in my mind.
Happiness filled my chest, lifting me up. I had to find her, bring her home, and show her just how much I loved her. Just how sorry I was for breaking us both, for causing our damnation.
“Your memories of her are very strong.” The voice spoke once again interrupting the scenes going on inside of my head. This enraged me. It made my blood boil to know the voice was looking in on the most intimate moments of mine and Maggie’s life. Moments we shared together.
“You know nothing! Nothing at all.” I yelled, and forced my attention back to Maggie. Not wanting to ruin the precious minutes I had left with her. He didn’t know Maggie. He couldn’t. No one did. Only I did. She was mine. All mine.
“He’s going into shock, dose him up and then bring her in. When he wakes up, he needs to see her.” I could hear their whispers, and it was then that I realized just how far gone I was. Where was I really and what had they done with the girl, with Maggie? The love of my life. The light to my darkness.
Two
Maggie
Warmth cradled me, wrapping me in a blanket that I never wanted to leave the early light of the morning filtered in through the blinds, basking rays of sunlight upon my skin. The previous months had passed in a flurry, the events of what had taken place in the cabin were like a puddle of water mixed with gasoline. I couldn’t remember everything, only bits and pieces that my mind allowed me to remember and try as I might I couldn’t seem to piece all the memories together or even make sense of most of them. All I knew was that Killer had gotten us out of there in one piece. I could feel it in my heart, even if I had no recollection of it taking place. Without him, there is no way we could’ve made it to the present alive.
I was barely awake, as a growl filled my ears, ripping me from my anxiety filled thoughts. I rolled over in the blanket of warmth to face Killer knowing that being able to see him alive would never get old. I had lost so much over the years, but I had also gained a lot in return. I had learned many new things, and explored
deeply into a world that I didn’t know even existed, and I had started to realize ever since the night I killed that man in an attempt to protect Killer and myself that I was more like Killer than I had ever thought. The dream that played out right before my eyes the moment I fell to the ground in that cabin still resonated through me.
The secrets of what I was, and what I would become were stuck deep inside of me. Returning to the present I clung to Killer, now more than I ever had, knowing that I had no one left to go home to. That my life had been a complete and utter lie, and that everyone I loved was missing or dead.
“Did you sleep well?” His voice was deep, so deep it vibrated through me. A shiver shot down my spine before I could even comprehend what it was my body was doing. Every single part of me craved him. I stretched against his rough edges, wanting to get closer to him. Every piece of his flesh that touched my own caused an eruption of desires to form deep in my belly.
Stop! I said to myself even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. We had far more dire needs to discuss, and I didn’t need to be blurring the lines between us any more than I already had and honestly sex would do just that.
“I did. I didn’t have one single nightmare.” He raised his eyebrow up at me in disbelief a frown beginning to take over his face. The concern he had for me was overwhelming sometimes.
“Really, I didn’t. There were no thoughts or memories that plagued me last night.” I continued to say, a smile forming on my lips.
“Easy for you to say.” He shot back at me gruffly, causing my easy smile to slip away as he shoved from the bed like a bullet from the barrel of a gun. It was never easy for him to be close to me, at least in the form that we were at the moment. Since that horrible night at the cabin where he left me alone to protect us both, he had been distant, even though he knew I needed him more now than ever before. I felt alone here, even when I was surrounded by a room full of people.
Since coming to the new Brotherhood facility he’s been quiet, and more closed off. He never speaks of his dreams or the memories that I know plague him. I think finding out that we were connected at least on my end has some way just seemed to make it worse, creating an even bigger rift between us. It’s hard for me to believe that one of us is good, and the other evil. I can’t see Killer being anyone but the man I love more than life itself.
I didn’t like feeling as I did, nor did I like the way he was feeling. Still, I was trying my hardest to understand his need for space. That and even if I wanted to do something about all the room that had come between us, I didn’t know where I would even start.
The lies that surrounded us had the potential to end our already unstable relationship. Every single time I turned around there was a new secret, far worse than the last. I needed to hold onto him for all it was worth. For however long that might be.
Yet, anger consumed me whenever he acted as he was right at this moment, even more so when I was right here, giving him a chance to talk to me being the partner I knew he needed. “If you would talk about the dreams, or whatever haunts you then maybe it would make them stop? It always helps to talk about the things that bother you most.” I was a hypocrite for asking him to talk about his problems when I myself refused to do so.
Then again it was merely a suggestion, one that I had made many times since being moved to the new facility together. All I wanted was to help him, except that never seemed to be the result instead things seemed to grow stiffer between us.
It was even worse when the other project members didn’t know if I could be trusted, and worser when they felt there were things we were keeping from them. If I was being honest of course there were things we were hiding from them. There were things we had yet to tell them just like there were things I was keeping from Killer, for instance, the memories I was shown after killing to protect us. I didn’t want Killer to think worse of himself, or to think I was going to turn on him so I weighed my options. Knowing that keeping it a secret as long as I could be the most beneficial thing at this point.
After all, we all had a secret we needed to keep. In the end, everything I did was to protect him. Us.
I could see the blind rage beginning to flicker deep within him, the fact that I had told him how to handle his demons when I was barely managing my own was like the pot calling the kettle black. He didn’t need to know that, though. I had faith in myself, enough to keep pushing onward and to keep us together.
“If it was that easy I would. It’s not Maggie. The things that I feel and endure are my own. They’re my own guilty pleas, my own fears, and things that I shouldn’t burden other’s minds with. We might be the same on the inside to a certain degree, but when it comes to who we are, what makes us-us; we couldn’t be any more different.” His eyes were feral, and a warning lingered within them. A warning that said I dare you to keep pushing. Was it bad that I wanted to see just how far it was he would go?
The way he spoke to should’ve struck fear deep into my body. I could feel the energy around us change, it was charged with electricity and the current was something that I knew would shock me, electrify me straight to the core, if I touched him. Still, I craved it the anger, and the danger that lingered inside of him. It created sparks that ignited inside of me, it made the newly found beast inside of me want to break free of the reigns.
I was made to destroy those that crave the need for blood, but when it came to Killer I would always want him more than I would want the need to destroy him. I knew that was something that would never change.
“We’re the same…” I spoke softly, keeping the hurt I was feeling out of my voice. “We’re everything we want to be.” I continued. Pain coursed through me and like a bullet being shot from a gun, it radiated deep inside of me, through my veins, and into the deepest parts of my soul.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Maggie. You know that more than anyone. But me? I’m a killer. There’s a darkness in my heart that you will never have. The person you used to know is gone and even though I wish I could bring him back…” Killer struggled with his words as if he knew that I was already hurting and that saying the wrong thing would be the final blow. “I can’t. He’s gone. Dead. He died the day I did and damn it…” Rage flared like a flame from a lit match. I took a step back in fear. It wasn’t that I thought he would hurt me; it was that my instinct was to step away. “I desperately want to be that man for you, but I can’t be. Killer is who I am now. He’s who I have been for a long time now. Death is what I deal in, and if I ever hear you compare yourself to the destruction known as myself, I will have to show you why they call me Killer.” I could feel a challenge building deep inside of me.
My core clenched, my body heating up as a red flush coated my cheeks. He shot me a look that said let-me-fuck-you right before shaking his head and stalking off into the bathroom. The sound of the shower starting before I could even respond to what he had said. The sexual tension between us was becoming so strong I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to fight it off.
Relief and shock ran rampant. Relief that he had spoken about some of his emotions and shock because I wasn’t aware that he felt the way he did. However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that Killer was my damnation, and I was his saving grace. Where a dark shadow appeared a light was needed to form it and to him I was that light.
My heart seemed to ache in my chest as I thought of just how different he thought we were. Did he know something that I didn’t? I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I had better things that I needed to be doing like training, or to have a better understanding of what it was that I was really doing here. They had no records on me, or of me being a part of the project society. It was as if I didn’t exist at all, which I was sure was what they had wanted it all along. No one knew of my cancer or planned death.
Gauge, the leader of the Chicago Brotherhood, had transferred us to new housing in a new city where he hoped we wouldn’t make a scene after everything that had happened at the cabin. Ti
me was something that seemed to stand still while we were there. My memory was littered with mere glimpses of things that took place at that time, but whether or not any of it was real I didn’t know. My body seemed to shut down when I realized Killer wasn’t waking up.
The people here were just as ruthless as they were at the Brotherhood in Chicago. Their faces mirrored my own when it came to the way I looked at them. We shared the same distaste for one another, the same distrusting looks. I knew we should band together after all we had been through, but that meant trusting one another and when your life was nothing but a lie trust was often a gift that was hardly ever given, even to your own kind.
Rustling around the room, I pulled out my training clothes. They made us wear black everything. Black shoes, shirt, and windbreaker pants. I slipped into the clothing with ease only slightly shocked the first time I put them on that everything had fit perfectly. Killer must’ve told Ty the Brotherhood leader what size I wore. Either that or Gauge let them know, either way, it surprised me a little bit.
Just as I slipped into my shoes a loud knock sounded at the door. I was within a millisecond of answering it when I heard the water in the bathroom shut off, and Killer walk out in nothing but a pair of dark pants hanging deliciously low on his hips. The look on his face told me not to touch the door handle, but the part of me that was changing, becoming my own person told me to do as I pleased. Defying Killer wouldn’t get me killed anymore.
Without a second thought, I reached for the doorknob and heard the exhaling of a breath from Killer, which caused a smile to play across my lips. The smile slipped from my face the moment I took notice of who was on the other side of the door.
“Ty.” I greeted him through clenched teeth. Ty was the leader of this Brotherhood. He was a silent killer. The one you had to watch out for. I knew it because I could feel it in my bones. He made me feel inferior in the eyes of the other men here. To say I hated him without knowing him was an understatement and I felt truly wrong for it as well. I knew that we all had our own stories to tell, but if I was being completely honest no story he could tell would ever change my mind about him.
