by J. L. Beck
His dark eyes shot down at me. I was half as big as the others here, their bodies could over power my own, and with that alone, I knew if given the chance they would dispose of me for good. Still, I had something that they wanted to use, or rather someone. Killer. I forced my facial features to a neutral look, not wanting him to read into anything too much. I got the feeling he did enough of that as it was.
Ty said nothing to me, and instead, we stood in silence just staring at one another for a long moment, both of us simply trying to figure out the other. His face was always shadowed as if he had something on his mind that he didn’t want to talk about or at least let you know about. His body was large, coming in almost at the same height as Killer, although he weighed a little less than him. He was built like a tank, and his hands could squish my head without thought, even so, I couldn’t find it in me to fear him. All I felt for him was dislike. My eyes drifted over his bald head, the man didn’t seem to have a caring bone in his body.
“Maggie.” When he finally said my name it caused my stomach to recoil, acid backing up into my throat. The man rubbed me the wrong way and in an instant I could feel the air around me change, and I knew the moment Killer felt the change in my demeanor because he stepped into my space now fully dressed, and ready to go in all black.
“What is it that you want, Ty? I promised that I would start training her. That I would do as you asked. Is there something you need? Or have you just come here to press your fucking luck?” Killer growled the remainder of his words as he watched Ty’s eyes slide up and down my body. I could see Ty weighing his options, seeing if he could get Killer to throw the first punch. Maybe his plan was to get us kicked out of this Brotherhood. I didn’t know what his problem was, but it was obvious he didn’t like either of us. I know that my dislike for Ty was instant when we first arrive and my opinion of his has yet to change but, there is something more going on between Ty and Killer. The hostility between the two of them is something I’ve never seen before even with Killer and his temper. I turned back towards Killer taking in his body language.
My eyes lingered down to Killer’s fists, which were held at his sides in a vice like grip. His masculine, sharp jaw was clenched tightly, his eyes were dark and dangerous as if he could and would kill in an instant if he had too.
Ty smirked, a small heavy laugh leaving his mouth. “Talk to me in a disrespectful manner one more time, and I will rip away whatever chance of survival in this place either of you have.” There it was. The threat. I knew he didn’t want us here. Still, the look in his eyes told me he definitely had the power to end us. The question was, could he get away with it? Could he truly have us put down just like a dog that was unwanted by others? Rage tugged at my emotions as my lip curled in anger, just like that dog that would be euthanized.
Killer pressed firmly into his face completely uncaring of Ty’s intimidations. His advancement had forced me to take a step back or be squished between the two of them, and even I wasn’t stupid enough to come between two men that were out for one another’s blood.
“Tell me more about how you plan to fuck up my already severely fucked up life?” Killer’s voice was calm, deadly calm, which scared me in the most thrilling ways. I wanted to question why I loved the darker parts of him, but I was sure I already knew why.
Instead, I watched, waiting to see which of them would be the first to shed blood. I could smell their anger and aggression. It slithered around me, like a snake waiting to take a bite, yet neither of them moved a muscle. The fact that neither of them reacted caused my skin to prick with anxiety. It meant something much worse would take place.
“Let me let you in on a secret, Killer.” Ty pressed his nose firmly against Killer’s, their breaths mingled together, and their nostrils flaring in sync. “Do as you’re told, and no bad will come to you.” I tried desperately to wrap my head around Ty’s parting words but I couldn’t. Instead, I found myself stepping over the threshold and out of our room as I watched curiously as Ty walked away, taking off back down the hall.
I was in awe of Ty that he didn’t cower in fear, but left just as fast as he came as if he didn’t care as if he had made his point.
Tension began in Killer… It rolled off of him in waves that almost suffocated me.
Time stopped for a moment, as I came back into the room. I stopped just inside the doorway and turned to stare at Killer. His muscles were thick with pent up aggression, his eyes were dilated, and I knew more than anyone he wanted a fight. Instead, he slammed the door with so much intensity I could feel the wind from it closing blow back my hair.
“He’s just an asshole, Killer.” I started but stopped as I took notice of his features.
His hands were running through his hair in a frenzied rage, his fingers gliding through the long wet locks with purpose. It seemed as if he thought he could find the answers he was seeking deep within those dark strands.
Air filled his lungs as he took a deep breath. The feeling of suffocation started to sink in. He had the power to remove all the air in the room, to bring a person to their knees with just one look.
“He might be an asshole, but he’s the boss here and the power he has…” Killer’s steel blue eyes narrowed in rage.
“The power he has is nothing compared to the power that we have… Together.” I spoke without thought. Silence settled around me, and that silence felt like a punch to the chest.
“Bringing you here was wrong.” He answered finally. An ache formed in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t help but feel that there was more that he wanted to say and my instincts were right as he began to speak again.
“You simply breathing is wrong. I know it. I can feel it, in here.” He placed his hand over his heart, and my breath stilled in my chest. What the fuck did he mean?
The shock that resonated inside of me wasn’t something that I had ever expected to feel. I reeled back, my body leaning against the door he had just slammed as he stared me down, his eyes eating up my body and my reaction to his words. I tried my hardest to hide the pain, and the anger I was feeling towards him but I couldn’t cover it up fast enough. It exploded inside of me like an atomic bomb, and fragments of my soul splattered across the floor between us.
“Neither of us should be alive, Maggie. We both know that, and it’s something we’re going to have to face, either now or in the future. Along with that, we have to face that we’re both huge fuck ups of science and that one day very soon, it’s all going to come back and bite us in the ass. How long do you think they will keep us alive? How long do you think we can go? How long can we run? There needs to be a balance maintained between the good and bad in this world. You think us being the cure for cancer is cool, exciting?”
There was so much violence in the things he was saying as if he understood something that I didn’t and I fucking hated that. I hated it more than anything because it made me feel like I was being left in the dark.Feelings I couldn’t even explain filled me.
I steadied myself for another blow I knew that I didn’t really need Killer to support me being here. I thought I did, I wanted him to, but I didn’t need him to. Plus, if he thought we were better off dead then what was the point of having him on my side? I questioned everything that was him and I right in that moment.
Taking a deep breath, I spoke. “Well since we’re going to die anyway, then today sure seems like the perfect day to do so doesn’t it?” I narrowed my eyes at him in agitation, hoping I just needed time away from him and maybe this place.
The tears I had been trying so hard to keep at bay, were starting to pool within my eyes, and with the back of my hand, I swiftly wiped them away. Then I took in a deep breath and tried to steady myself. Had we gone through everything we had for nothing? Were we truly meant to be enemies from the start? I turned away from him facing the door, wiping away more tears that had broken free from my eyes.
Killer stayed silent for a moment and then reached out his hand, resting it on my shoulder. His touch was
something I craved, something I needed and I couldn’t even put into words how much his touch soothed me. Except for today, today it did nothing but hurt more.
“I didn’t mean…” He stumbled over his words. I couldn’t listen to the lie that he was going to speak, so I shrugged his hand off even though I wanted to pull him in closer and opened the door. I didn’t even bother to close it behind me. Nor did he care to come after me.
The truth was out now. I knew how he felt about me and what it was that I was becoming. I tried not to take it all to heart but it hurt.
To him, both of us were meant to be dead.
Yet somehow I had saved us both, I could feel it. I just didn’t know how I did it yet.
Three
Killer
I allowed the rage to consume me. It was eating away at all the good left inside of me like a parasite trying to take over my body. I knew eventually there would be no sane, or decent part of me left if I kept on down this road.
I knew that I had realized that a long time ago. If only Maggie would realize that but she wasn’t aware of the past that tainted us, and the future that we could never have. My memories told me that everything that we thought we knew of one another was nothing but a façade. It had to be.
There was no other explanation. I was the cause of everything that had happened between her and Roger the CEO back at PGI headquarters, and I was the reason her father was taken and most likely dead. If it weren’t for me she would be living a normal life, with no recollection of who she was, or how she came to be about. Yeah, there would be parts of her that missed me, and craved me, but at least she would be safe, and happy. At least she wouldn’t be a member of the darkness.
My mind shifted to black as a memory was being pulled from deep inside my skull, from the darkest parts of my brain.
“Killer…” Her voice was a whisper in the wind. Soft like a blanket you craved as a child and sweet like candy. My body erupted, my mind springing to life the moment I felt her near me. My eyes blinked open, as I fought against the drugs they had dosed me up with. I still had no idea where we were or who had us, but I knew that Maggie was okay, or so her smiling face before me told me so.
“Are you really here?” My voice was hoarse and didn’t sound like my own. I wanted to reach out and trace the side of her face with my finger just to make sure she was real.
“Yes. I’m really here.” Her voice was weak, her eyes bloodshot. She wasn’t herself either I could tell the moment she spoke to me again. She looked as if she was under a spell. Had something in her had changed that fast?
“Did they hurt you? Talk to you?” I growled in frustration at the simple fact that I still couldn’t touch her. I wanted to cradle her in my arms and nurse her back to life. I wanted her to be normal, untouched by my darkness or the darkness that now lived inside of her.
Her eyes swept across the room as if she were looking for cameras. I knew they were watching us. They would be dumb not to do so. I’m sure they brought her in here just to try and get something out of one of us. They wanted to use us, and they would until they couldn’t anymore.
“They didn’t hurt me, but I can’t remember anything that’s taken place since coming here.” Her voice was fragile and I felt the anger inside of me explode, pouring from my insides like blood from an open wound. Panic, anger, rage, every single emotion known to mankind ran through me.
“They’re going to condition you, Maggie. Fight against it. Don’t let them take you under. Don’t let them hurt you.” My voice was fragile and on the verge of breaking. My chest ached as I realized I couldn’t protect her anymore. I knew I was a helpless individual to her. Once they broke her, once they took the remaining innocence from her there would be nothing left, nothing but a need for blood. The woman I loved would be a shell of the person she would become.
Somehow I escaped the memory, resurfacing like a diver swimming to the top of the pool and as soon as I broke free of the dream, a large breath of air filled my lungs. I clenched my fists together. Pain filled my chest, and spread across my body and deep down into my muscles, and bones.
I thought the memories would stop once I realized who Maggie was. Once I realized the past we shared, but the second we got here to this new facility−the second I realized I had no memory of escaping the cabin I knew that something was wrong. Very fucking wrong. Maggie had no idea, or at least none that she gave away. She had no reasoning to suspect anything, but I knew deep in my heart something wasn’t right. That she was changing.
Minutes seemed to tick by as I stared at the white wall in front of me. In the room, we shared, with her scent surrounding me. That was yet another constant reminder of the memories brewing inside my head, the white walls reminded me of those vivid nightmares from when I was in the labs.
My body was out of control, my fists clenched and droplets of sweat dripped down my arms. It had been days since I had last been in the training arena, with little ambition and the desire to be near Maggie I had failed to get back into the arena. I lifted a hand and ran my fingers through my dark hair trying to calm myself again.
I had no desire to hurt Maggie, to bruise her or take away her light, but the truth was that I very well could. The need to destroy was strong at times and was something I was learning to deal with every day. Taking deep breaths, I allowed the fresh oxygen to enter my bloodstream, pushing away the anxiety I was feeling or at least trying to push it away.
A few more breaths and I had myself under control, or at least as under control as I could be. My eyes drifted to the nightstand where the alarm clock sat. Large red blocked letters shined back at me. It had been twenty minutes since Maggie walked out the door in front of me.
Fuck! I needed to get my ass in gear. I still had to eat breakfast and meet Maggie for training, but after leaving things the way we had I didn’t know if she would even be there.
Scrubbing a hand down my face, the roughness of my scruff scraped against my palm and I made a mental note to shave. Then I forced myself from the room and down the hallway towards the eating area. Each step I took echoed off the walls telling me just how late I was running. Once I entered the cafeteria-like room which was packed with other members my mind and body told me Maggie was near. My eyes honed in on her and where she was in the lunch line across the room. A waft of her scent smacked me straight in the nostrils. Her smell alone could bring me to my knees. I could always sense her no matter what it was we were.
We were connected in a deeper way that most, that much was true. And the more the memories assaulted me the more I being to wonder if it was in more ways than just physical.
I headed in her direction without thought but then stopped mid-step, noticing that most of the other men in the room were staring at her as well. I blinked, and then forced myself to breathe, which did me no good because all I could do was smell Maggie.
My blood started to boil, and acid made its way up my throat. I could feel the beast clawing up the inside of my throat, trying to escape, trying to reek havoc. My muscles burned as I swallowed down the monster deep inside of me.
When I finally turned my attention back to Maggie I realized another male member had started up a conversation with her. She smiled as if something he said was funny then finished loading her tray with food, and followed him to a table.
Fuck! I could feel the claws sickening deeply into my skin as I clenched my fists and told myself this fucker wasn’t worth the bleach needed to remove the blood stains from my shirt. Still, jealousy, like I had never felt before burned through my chest like a motherfucker embedding itself deeply into my muscles.
I shouldn’t be jealous, not when I knew who it was that she belonged to. Not when I knew it was me that she loved. Yet that jealous rage flowed freely through my veins, and the burning from it only intensified things and not admitting said jealousy even to myself would mean I was lying, and I was anything but a liar.
Unable to stop myself, I covered the distance between Maggie and me in seconds. M
y footfalls were heavy as I came to a stop directly in front of her. Since the day we caught through those doors there had been a line drawn in the sand, and anyone that fucking crossed it was as good as dead, and it was apparent these fuckers needed another reminder. As for Maggie well she needed to understand that I had no intentions of giving her up, even if everything I had told her back in our room was true. I was going to claim her as mine until she took her very last breath.
“Killer?” I could hear the slight tinge of shock in her voice as she looked up from her tray of food. The male across from her didn’t seem to care that I was practically standing on top of their table because he didn’t move, he just kept talking as if he was an innocent bystander watching this interaction instead of being in the middle of it.
“She is mine. Do I need to make that more apparent?” I growled, my chest rumbling as the words exploded out of me. The burning in my veins grew hotter until I was sure the beast that wanted to escape was about to break free. The clatter of forks, trays hitting the tables, and talking ceased. I could feel hundreds of eyes on me. They were judging me, questioning if I would rip his heart out of his chest.
Or maybe they were taking bets on which one of us would walk away with Maggie come the end of the fight if there was one. I titled my head to the side, looking the piece of shit up and down. I was taller than him not by much but still taller, his hair was cut short, and he looked to be about a buck fifty in weight. A little thinner than I liked but good enough to rip to shreds.
Plainly put, I ate fuckers like him for breakfast.
“Why don’t you just piss a circle around her? It’ll make it more obvious for all of us.” The piece of shit male finally spoke, then smiled to his friend that was sitting to the left of him as if to say it’s funny right? I cracked my knuckles and twisted my neck from side to side. I was ready to destroy someone.
