Hawthorn

by Jamie Cassidy

  There is a crash from the kitchen area and I wind my way through the crowd to investigate. There’s a bowl of crisps on the floor. As soon as they see me approach, two lads get down and start to clean it up. I nod at them, keeping my face sombre and then turn away smiling. The disco lights flash and I see Jen’s face painted red-gold, then blue.

  I need some air. I move toward the door, bumping into bodies as I go, smiling in apology, until I am finally outside breathing in the cool, crisp night air. I glance at my watch. Almost eleven p.m. I told Gemma she could have until midnight. The night has flown by. I’m glad it’s almost over. I’m knackered.

  There’s an old rickety chair outside the cottage. I study it for a moment, wondering how rotten it is, wondering if I should risk sitting on it, and then I think, what the hell.

  I gingerly slip onto it. Once sat, I exhale. The chair creaks, but holds and I relax. The cool air is suddenly warm, comforting like a cocoon. My eyes begin to droop. So tired, just one minute… I’ll close my eyes for one minute. As I lose myself to sleep, I hear a creak and feel the wind kiss my face.

  49

  GEMMA

  “This shit is sick!” some guy I’ve seen around, but don’t know, shrieks in my face before bouncing off.

  I burst out laughing. I’ve forgotten to be pissed off about the number of people who’ve turned up. It was supposed to be a small affair, but a party is a party, and a party in Learmonth in a cottage by the sea is a no miss. I’m still stunned by the turn out. It’s shocking. The cottage is rammed, and the party has spilled out back from where you can see the black and grey sea.

  I should warn them about the cliff… Wait, I already did that, and there’s a railing so… The music changes to a track I love and I find a sudden burst of energy. I don’t usually dance. I’m a big girl, not fat, but just …big, but tonight amidst the crush of bodies, I feel positively minute.

  I grin at Jen as we jump up and down. She grabs my face, shouting ‘I love you’ and plants a kiss smack bang on my lips. She pulls back, looking stunned, and I’m laughing real hard because its wild and her expression is hilarious, and then she joins me before pointing to the kitchen and mouthing drinks.

  I nod and she is off.

  A tap on my shoulder and I’m spinning round.

  Justin grins down at me. I like that he has to look down on me. I like the fact that he is taller than me. I like his mouth, which is curled up slightly in a lopsided sexy way. His white hair gleams the colour of the rainbow in the disco lights.

  “Dance with me!” I hold out my arms and he slips into them. Hip to hip, breast to chest we do the grinding thing. I lock eyes with him and the smile melts and I am on fire. We turn in a slow circle, in time to our own music. Everything is focused on our bodies, the many points of contact, the firmness of his biceps and the tautness of his abdomen under my fingers. I am exploring.

  Jen’s face appears over his shoulder. She is clutching to paper cups, her eyes wide and filled with…disappointment. She’s turning away and pushing through the crowd until it swallows her whole.

  I should go after her… I want to go after her, but the room is suddenly really hot, perspiration beads my forehead, heat pulsing between my legs. I want to kiss Justin, take his mouth and explore every crevice. I reach up and grab his neck, pulling his mouth to mine. His eyes are closed and I kiss him with everything I have, our tongues twining, our mouths impossibly wide. I want to devour him. I want to be him and it isn’t enough.

  Fingers bite into my upper arms so hard. I gasp in pain, pull back confused, and Justin pushes me away, his face contorted in a confusion of his own.

  The door behind me slams open and a gust of wind sweeps in, licking at the flames on my body.

  The crowd stills and we turn almost as one to the doorway. There they are, framed by moonlight, lithe figures, guys and gals, dressed to kill in antlers and fur, hooves and claw. I take them in, my eyes settling on him, the object of my nightmares.

  Sam.

  The pulse of heat intensifies.

  His mouth curves in a sadistic smile and it draws me to him. I open my arms, Justin forgotten. Sam steps into the room.

  Now the party can really begin.

  The air is filled with the scent of roses, heady and strong and intoxicating. I am in Sam’s arms. I am at the beach, lying on the sand, naked, burning up. Sam is on me his hands stoking the fire that claims me. I need this, I want this. This is all there is.

  Let me in, let me in. Gemma, let me in. I need this, so hungry…

  Yes, yes! I need him inside, deep inside, so far inside that he becomes a part of me.

  “Gemma! Fucking get off her now!”

  Something growls.

  “Gemma! Justin! She’s here!”

  The heat fades and ice takes it place. I struggle to open my eyes, to fight against the binds that hold me down, but they’re not binds, they’re hands and pinching fingers.

  My eyes fly open and I see his face, grey and smooth, and the eyes; huge, dark eyes that suck at my soul, and I know who it is.

  Something hits it from the side and I am free.

  “Gemma! Get up, quickly!” Jen is pulling at me and I stand, shivering, naked.

  Jen throws something over me.

  “Justin, leave it! Come on!” Jen’s voice quivers, she’s afraid.

  Justin cries out and Jen grabs my hand and screams. “Run!”

  And I see it, Sam but not Sam, distorted, his arms too long, his jaw too wide. He rears up and looks at me, cocking his head.

  I can’t move. I’m frozen.

  “Please, please, Gemma, please.” Jen is crying and I still can’t move. “They’re coming, oh god they’re coming!”

  I am at the beach…

  I succeed in breaking eye contact with Sam and look out to sea. I see them, a group of shadowy figures, hunched and stocky, rising from the water. My paralysis breaks and I scream. I grip Jen’s hand and we run.

  50

  HEATHER

  I am so excited. I got so many sweets. I’m gonna share them with all the pretty fairies, but I’m more excited about being turned into a fairy princess. I’ll have my own wings and everything. I can imagine the look on mum’s face when she sees me in my fairy dress. I wish I could tell Jules now, but I have to keep the secret, or else I won’t be able to go tonight.

  Jules tucked me into bed ages ago, but I’m so not sleepy because I’m waiting, and it’s almost time to go. I was jealous of Gemma’s big party. I wanted to go to and dance and eat cake, but mum said it would be boring, and I guess she’s right ‘cos I’m gonna be in fairy land soon and that’s so much better than a stupid party.

  The door makes a squeaky noise and I pretend to be sleeping. I know its Jules checking up on me. The door closes and I open my eyes and look at the wardrobe and wait.

  I wait and wait and my body feels heavy and a big yawn comes and I close my eyes for a minute ‘cos they are burning.

  “Wake up. It’s time, Heather.”

  My eyes pop open and I remember what I was waiting for. I climb out of bed and take Elsa’s hand and together we creep out the door and down the corridor to Danny’s room.

  We slip in and I creep over to his bed. He is fast asleep with his mouth open. I glance at Elsa. I don’t want to do this, not really, but Elsa said if I don’t then I can’t be a princess. So I reach under the covers and grab a hold of Buster’s leg and I pull. Danny holds Buster tighter.

  I’m getting cross now, and my feet are cold. I should have put my slippers on.

  “Hurry, Heather,” Elsa says.

  I press my lips together and try again. This time I pull hard and Buster comes free. Danny says something in his sleep but I don’t care. I have Buster and that’s all I need.

  “Come on.” I turn to Elsa and hold up Buster, but Elsa isn’t smiling. She looks upset with me and I don’t know why. “Elsa?”

  “The bracelet, get the bracelet.”

  Danny sighs and rolls over, his sleepy
hands are looking for Buster. “I can’t, please.” I back away toward the door, but Danny is awake. He’s staring at me then at Buster in my arms.

  “Heather?” He sits up and then he sees Elsa and he screams.

  I turn and run toward the smelly room. Elsa is right behind me. She’s giggling and I start to giggle too. We get to the room and open the big wardrobe and climb in. I can see fairy land in the mirror. It’s so pretty and bright with so many flowers and birds and little flying fairies like Tinkerbell. One of them waves to me then does a spin thing.

  I take Elsa’s hand, ready to step through and be made into a princess for real.

  The door opens behind me and I turn to see Danny.

  He’s crying and calling my name.

  “Go away, Danny! This is my secret. I’m gonna be a princess.”

  “Please, Heather, please! Can’t you see? Please! Look at it! Look at it!” He’s pointing at Elsa and I turn to look at her and she is so pretty and smiling at me.

  She tugs at my hand and we step through the mirror.

  51

  NIGHT MARY

  I’m awake and she is asleep, but it feels all wrong. I have a job to do, someone important to see, but I’m not where I need to be. I hear music and gravitate toward it and then I am in a room filled with human children, adolescents is what they are called, the sweetest of the sweet. But the shocking thing is that they see me!

  “Nice costume, Mrs L!”

  “Wow! MILF!”

  I glance down at my clothes, tight pants and leather vest, beads at my throat and wrist, my weapon belt, empty until I will it to be filled. I suppose to them it seems strange.

  A young boy walks up to me, his face arranged in a frown as he glances about. “Have you seen Gemma?”

  I shake my head slowly and he mimics me, his eyes look dazed. I sniff the air and catch the lingering scent of roses.

  My heart stutters. My blood is ice and I notice the little things. The muddy hoof prints on the floor, the pile of clothes on the sofa and the semi-nude state of most of the humans.

  “What happened?” I ask the boy, even though I know the answer.

  The frown melts and he tilts his head back, showcasing the pinpricks of blood at his jugular. “Something wonderful…” He rubs his crotch almost absently and then blinks up at me in confusion.

  Its wearing off, thank goodness, but there’s still time. They could be back.

  “Have you seen Gemma?” he asks again.

  I know that name, that name means the world to me, it is my prize, it’s what I fight for.

  Gemma… Gemma!

  I burst out of the cottage, sniffing the air. I have to find her. I catch her scent but it is ripped away by the breeze and replaced by another, one that screams of fear and death.

  I break into a run.

  52

  GEMMA

  We’re almost at the steps when Jen stumbles. The jacket she’s thrown around my shoulders is yanked away and her hand is torn from my grasp.

  Sam, himself again, is holding her captive, his arm wrapped around her neck. “Please, Gemma. I need you, please don’t run. I won’t hurt you, I would never hurt you.”

  I glance behind him to the sea, my body is shaking with cold and fear and the shadows are getting nearer.

  “Let her go, Sam. Please, just let her go.”

  “Her for you,” Sam says.

  The figures are climbing out of the sea. I see Jen’s frightened face, her trembling lips.

  “Fine, okay, just don’t hurt her.”

  Sam holds out his free hand, keeping Jen pinned to his body with the other. I take it.

  In one smooth move, he yanks me to him and pushes Jen aside.

  I hear her hit the sand and cry out.

  “Run!” I scream.

  Jen scrambles to her feet, but instead of running away she runs toward us. I feel Sam’s body tense, sense what he is about to do and I scream for her to stop, but she doesn’t. She flies toward us, right into the kick that Sam delivers that sends her flying backwards toward the red-eyed snorting creatures that are bounding across the beach.

  The closest one catches her in its jaws. I hear her scream, see the blood that spurts from her body, sprays from her mouth, hear the crunch of bone and sinew as it bites down, and I fight, I scream and kick, but he holds me firm, whispering over and over, “A boon to the sea, a boon to the sea, not you, not me, a boon to the sea.”

  The light in her eyes dims and winks out, her body limp as the creatures turn away and gallop back into the sea, taking their feast with them.

  I’m crying and I can’t stop. His hands are all over me, hungry mouth on my neck. I don’t care. All I see is Jen, all I see is my best friend, and I don’t care anymore.

  53

  DANNY

  They tooked her and they tooked my Buster. Its dark inside but I can see the dark one with Heather. It’s holding on to her. It’s gonna eat her, I know it.

  I’m so scared. I turn and run down the stairs. I have to get Jules. I find her on the sofa. She’s fast asleep and I shake her and shake her and scream at her but she won’t wake.

  I’m on my own and they’ve got my sister and Buster. I have to save them.

  I wipe my tears. I have to be brave and I have to get her back. I have to make her see what they are.

  I climb the stairs again. My legs feel wobbly and I feel like I need a wee, but I ignore all that and walk into the smelly room. The wardrobe is open and I can see inside. They are dancing and Heather is dancing with them. But every time she turns away they snap at her like hungry doggies. I climb up into the wardrobe.

  “Heather!” I shout. “Heather!” She can’t hear me, but they do and they laugh. One of them, Heather’s friend, runs toward me. I jump back and fall onto the floor.

  “You want her, come get her. We promise we’ll let her leave if you come.”

  Her voice makes my stomach hurt.

  “P-promise?”

  It shows me its teeth and I realise its smiling at me.

  I squeeze my eyes shut and nod. I stand up and climb into the wardrobe. Her eyes go to my wrist. “Take it off first.”

  I look at my bracelet. Why does she want me to take it off? Then I remember. Heather lost her bracelet the other day. Before that, the dark ones had gone away. They’d gone away when Gemma gave us the bracelets… Maybe the bracelets are magic! But she wants me to take it off.

  I have an idea. I take it off my wrist and lean outside the wardrobe and pretend to throw it but really I slip it into my underwear at the back.

  She looks excited. Her eyes look bigger, like she wants to eat me. I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to go, but if I don’t then they’ll eat Heather. They’ll eat her and it’ll be all my fault.

  I take a deep breath and step into the mirror.

  54

  NIGHT MARY

  I won’t let them have her. Like fuck will she be a boon to the friggin’ sea! She’s mine. She doesn’t qualify because she is mine.

  I reach the steps and I see them retreating. They have a girl, my heart is in my mouth, then back in my chest when I realise this girl is too small, not my prize, not my Gemma.

  My attention is drawn to the sobbing silhouette at the bottom of the steps and I see that my fears have been misplaced.

  I take the steps three at a time. I am a shadow. I am the wind and then I am on him, tearing his mouth from her delicate skin, grasping his neck in my hands and squeezing.

  His eyes are wide and frightened. He sputters and coughs and tries to speak and I realise I need to hear what he has to say for himself. I relax my grip enough for him to push out the word. “You! What are you doing here?”

  “She’s mine, Shame, mine and untouchable to all fey. You dare to break the oath? You dare to challenge The Mother?”

  He shakes his head, or tries at least. I have him gripped tight and I’m fighting not to snap his neck there and then to be done with it.

  “You brought her to the
revel didn’t you?” I ask.

  “It could have been a mistake. I could have thought her human.”

  I pull him close so my breath fans across his face. “Could have? Still playing with your words to weave a lie, you know it doesn’t work that way. I can smell your deceit. Your words are whispers on the wind.”

  “My, my, getting poetic in your journey toward true death, aren’t we.”

  His words hit home, so I rear back and head butt him in the nose, smiling at the satisfying crunch and high-pitched yelp.

  “Tybical,thu albays those bilance ober words”

  “You sound ridiculous.”

  He drops his gaze, concentrating on the healing process. I watch as his bone knits and straightens, until he is whole again.

  “She has something that belongs to me and I intend to retrieve it.”

  “What in the world could she have of yours? She knows nothing of our world. I made sure of it.”

  He grins, a sly, knowing grin that makes me want to shake the truth from him. But I know Shame; older than the hills and wilier. He won’t give up his secrets easy, and right now I don’t have the time for my special brand of persuasion.

  “Give me your oath that you will not harm her again, that you will not approach her again, and I’ll spare your grey arse.”

  He raises his lids to meet my gaze and defiance smacks me across the mouth. “I don’t have to do shit! You’ve been gone for too long, Mary. You hold no sway over me or any other lesser fey. We will feast on whomever we deem fit, be they your kin or no. The Mother cut ties with you long ago. You are no longer one of us. Soon you will cease to be, and then I will have what I crave. I will fill her with all that I love, and while you fight to protect your first treasure, another close to your heart joins us. It seems I will be fed tonight after all.” His visage shimmers and then he is gone.