Practicing What You Preach

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  Melissa’s expression became even more serious. “If Sasha agreed to take you back right now, would you be interested?”

  Marcus leaned his head back, rubbed his face with both his hands, then turned back to Melissa. “That’s kind of a hard question,” he said.

  “Not really. Not if you answer it truthfully.”

  “But you’re asking a hypothetical. None of us knows what we would really do in any given situation. I mean, how many times has someone ever said, If someone had done something like that to me, then I would have done such-and-such? Then when it happens to them, they react totally differently than they thought they would.”

  Melissa’s expression remained the same. “If you had a chance to get back with your ex-wife right now, would you go for it? If Sasha were to come to you and tell you she was wrong about whatever happened between you two, or even if she didn’t say she was wrong—if she came to you and asked that the two of you work out your differences, put aside your own selfish desires, get back together, and honestly work at your marriage, would you consider it?”

  “Wow, you ask some hard questions,” Marcus said. “But can I say that that is something that’s not ever going to happen.”

  “You never know,” Melissa said. “Women do things in the heat of the moment. They get bad advice from their family and friends. They find out things aren’t so good over on the other side. That the grass, as well as its upkeep, costs a lot more on that side than anyone ever imagined just by looking over there. Then they realize what they had and see how foolish they had been to ever let it get away. A strong woman, a strong man will admit she or he was wrong. And—”

  “But,” Marcus said, interrupting her, “but—”

  “But nothing. I’m not trying to put you on the spot, Marcus. I’m not trying to trick you or make you confess something just to make me feel better.” Melissa took his hand. “You know, in spite of my zealous effort in the beginning not to, I’ve fallen deeply in love with you.”

  Marcus smiled. “And I with you.”

  Melissa blushed. “And that’s why we need to talk about this now. I don’t want to get deeper into this relationship with you just to have your ex-wife come back into the picture and we end up with a problem. I know you still have love for your ex-wife. That’s just the type of person you are,” Melissa said. “When a person really loves someone, they still have love for them unless that person does something horrible enough to turn that love into hate. I don’t sense that has happened at all between the two of you.”

  “Of course I don’t hate Sasha. She’s the mother of my child,” Marcus said. “We were married for five years. We were good friends before that. But Sasha and I are over. She’s made that abundantly clear.” He turned his body squarely toward Melissa. “When we talk about it like this, it sounds like I have a lot of baggage that you don’t have. The question is: are you willing to be with me knowing I have all of this baggage?”

  Melissa smiled. “Aaliyah is not baggage,” she said.

  “I don’t mean Aaliyah is baggage. But she is my child, and I’m not ever going to abandon her.”

  “And I not only respect that, I admire it. That’s what makes me love you so much. I’ve seen how you are with your mother. I see how you are with your daughter. I figure any man who knows how to treat his mother and knows how to take care of his child is a good man. That’s the kind of man I would like to have in my life.”

  “And my ex-wife?” Marcus said. “How do you feel about her being in the mix?”

  “Truthfully, whatever it is, it is what it is,” Melissa said. “And trying to pretend or look at how things might be if they were not as they are is not going to make it so. I just need to know that if you’re committed to me, you really are committed to me. The rest, you and I can work out together.”

  Melissa began to shake her head slowly. “But I can’t have you doing things behind my back. I don’t need a man trying to protect my feelings and keeping secrets in the guise of protecting me. If something is going on, then man up and tell me straight on. Anything else in my book is a cop-out and, frankly, dishonest.”

  Marcus had laughed at her after she’d said that a little more than a month ago. Now as he sat with Melissa, having had a wonderful time with Sasha and Aaliyah earlier this Sunday afternoon, he was trying to decide whether or not he should tell her about something as simple as their dinner. It really wasn’t that big a deal. It had only been dinner, and Sasha had been rather pleasant for a change.

  So why was it such a difficult thing for Marcus to bring up right now to Melissa?

  Chapter 41

  But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

  —Matthew 5:37

  I could tell something was bothering Marcus. He seemed hesitant about sharing it with me. I wanted to make him feel comfortable, which is why I was chatting on and on about the previous night with Tiffany’s children. I really wanted to tell him what I thought about Darius and that ring deal.

  I think it was great he actually had bought Tiffany a gift. But there was something about that whole scene that didn’t sit well with my spirit. I can’t prove this and really don’t have any basis to go on other than a feeling I have, but I wonder if it’s possible he bought that ring for some other woman. And maybe she’d either given it back to him when they broke up or maybe he hadn’t had a chance to give it to her yet. And maybe my asking to see the gift he claimed he had, essentially putting him on the spot, forced him to give it to Tiffany to prove something to both of us. Darius is a tricky little devil.

  My mother tells me I need to stay out of other folks’ business. I honestly try, but it’s hard when I see other people being done wrong. I want to defend them even if it can be fairly said that I don’t tend to rise to that level when it comes to defending myself. I don’t think Tiffany appreciated my doing what I did, even though she knows something’s not right. For whatever reason, she’s willing to turn her head the other way rather than to confront certain things when it comes to Darius. I’ve seen him around other women, and I’m sure something is going on with him. I hear he has put the moves on quite a few women right in our church. I wouldn’t put it past him to have hooked up with one or two of them. Again, it’s not my business, and I need to focus on what’s going on with me.

  Marcus has something on his mind. Something happened, and I get the feeling he’s hedging about sharing it with me. If this were happening to someone else, I would have jumped to challenge him to come clean. When it’s me, I’m sitting here muzzling my mouth, waiting for him to decide what he wants to do. If that was ever going to change, I had to make a start.

  “Tell me what’s on your mind, Marcus,” I said.

  He smiled, then sighed. “Sasha fixed dinner for me and Aaliyah,” he said.

  I scrunched my face. “Well, that was nice,” I said. That was it?

  “Yes, it was nice. But she specifically fixed dinner.”

  “Yeah, I get that. You took Aaliyah home and your ex fixed you dinner.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not doing this right. She didn’t just fix me dinner because I happened to be there. She planned it.”

  “So, she was trying to be nice. I think that’s great,” I said. The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was overly jealous. I’ve learned that being too possessive of anyone or anything can be dangerous for both parties. Been on both sides of that fence.

  “Maybe I’m making too much about this. But then again, you would have to know Sasha to fully appreciate the significance. First off, Sasha is not a cook. She never liked to cook when we were married. And to cook a full-course meal like she did, that’s something I can’t say she’s ever done. Not on that level, anyway.”

  “Well, I bet you she just wanted to thank you for being the great person that you are. You take such good care of Aaliyah. And you did just buy that piano recently. Most women have to fight to get child support. She asks you to buy a pian
o for your daughter and you buy it without batting an eye.” I moved the remote control off the couch and placed it on the table so I could draw my legs up under me.

  “That’s what she said. She wanted to thank me.” Marcus turned more toward me now that I was more relaxed.

  “That’s been about a month now. Has the piano arrived yet?”

  “I think she said it would take four to six weeks to get here, so no, it hasn’t.”

  I smiled. “I always wanted to take piano lessons, but I never got the chance.”

  “So what’s stopping you now?”

  I laughed. “I think at twenty-eight, almost twenty-nine, it’s a little too late to start learning now.”

  “Nonsense,” Marcus said. “As long as there is breath in your body, it’s never too late to do a thing. I think you should find a teacher and get started.”

  “Oh, and are you going to buy me a piano, too, so I can practice?” I said. I was clearly teasing.

  “You know, I just may buy one for my house. That way both you and Aaliyah will have it at your convenience.”

  I stopped when he said that. I wasn’t sure what he intended to imply by that statement. Was he saying he would have the piano there so I would have more of an excuse to come to his house? Or was he saying something to indicate his house would someday soon be our house? I hated it when other women let their thoughts run wild like this when it came to what a guy said, trying to figure out what he really meant. Now here I was letting my imagination get the best of me.

  I had decided I was not going to sit with my thoughts. Marcus and I were committed to keeping ourselves until we married, whether it was to each other or someone else. I must admit, he seemed to be handling this keeping himself much better than I was. I suppose it’s because he’s a preacher and preachers preach, or at least they are supposed to preach, against fornication, which Marcus has said he has no intention of committing. And after Cass, before I started dating Marcus, I had already vowed to become a revirgin.

  “A revirgin?” Karen, my other friend who has tried several times to do right, said as she laughed at me. “What in the world is a revirgin?”

  “It means a virgin again. It means I’m not going to have sex until my wedding night.”

  She continued to laugh. “Well, good luck with that one.” Later, after she knew Marcus and I were a couple, she asked how my revirginity was going. “And you made this commitment right before you started dating Marcus? Maybe he’ll help you keep it, but I’m not so sure even he is for real. Folks talk the talk, but we all know people believe what’s done behind closed doors is nobody’s business unless and until you get caught.”

  Just when I was about to ask Marcus what he meant by his comment about buying a piano for his house, my telephone rang. I started not to answer it, but thought I at least should check the Caller ID.

  “Hello, Angel.” I said as soon as I saw who was on the other end.

  “Hi, Melissa. I just needed to talk to someone. Brent is out of town assisting Pastor Landris who was to preach at four o’clock this afternoon. Johnnie Mae went with Pastor Landris. Are you busy? Do you have time to talk?”

  I looked at Marcus, who was always such a good sport whenever I got a call I needed to take. He had been especially supportive since my event planning business had picked up. Angela’s wedding was one of the reasons for that increased traffic. I could sense from the tone of Angela’s voice, the slight shake as her words escaped her mouth, that something wasn’t terribly wrong, but it wasn’t quite right either.

  And yes, I was nosy to some extent—a character flaw I confess to and absolutely do need to work on curbing—but it was more my concern now for one who had become a friend that caused me to reply, “No, I’m not busy. I have time to talk.”

  Marcus looked at me in a different way than in the past when I took a call. I couldn’t help but wonder what was so different this time. We had been talking about his ex-wife and her fixing him dinner. I didn’t have a problem with it. He had just seemed to open the door for us to talk about marriage, but it wasn’t like he had asked me or anything—although he did tell me he had something special planned for Valentine’s Day, which was only two days away. Maybe he was going to ask me to marry him. But if that were the case, I doubt he would ruin that moment by discussing marriage tonight. Besides, I was only going to be a minute, fifteen minutes tops, to find out what was troubling Angela. He and I had the rest of the night to talk.

  He then shocked me when he stood up, kissed me on the cheek, then mouthed the word, “Good night,” after which he walked over to the door and left before I could stop him.

  “Melissa, are you still there?” I heard Angela’s voice break through.

  “Yes, I’m here,” I said, shaking the thoughts loose from inside my head about Marcus and what was really going on. I focused on Angela. “So what’s wrong?”

  Angela brought me up to speed on a few developments regarding Arletha. Brent had an investigator check her out and he hadn’t found anything. It was as if she had fallen out of the sky. She had just turned sixty-two on January 28. She had lived in Birmingham for forty-six years. There was no record of where she had lived for the sixteen years before that. No record of her ever marrying anyone..

  “So is that what’s bothering you?”

  “No,” Angela said. “My great-grandmother recorded her daughter Arletha’s birthday as January 28, 1944—the exact same date as Arletha Brown. Brent and I had a huge disagreement on this, our first major one since we got married, really, about whether or not I should use that information to see if it would get Arletha Brown to confess the truth.”

  “What did Brent say?”

  “He thinks I should let it rest. That even if my suspicions are correct, I couldn’t force her to admit anything, so what difference does it make.” Angela sighed deeply. “I keep telling everybody that I’m not trying to make Arletha Brown admit anything. I just want to get to the truth.” She started to cry.

  “I thought you had decided you would let it go,” I said, recalling our last conversation. In all the time I had known Angela, she had seemed pretty grounded. But since she’d learned of Arletha’s existence, she had become more emotional. Then I remembered that she was pregnant, and pregnant women have hormonal shifts, especially those first and last months.

  “I had, and that’s why Brent is more upset with himself than he is with me. He feels if he had not had someone dig deeper, I wouldn’t be back on this. I’m trying so hard to let go, to put it out of my mind. But what if my feelings are correct? So I’m sitting here alone, without Brent home to calm or talk me down. Melissa, I’m going over to visit Arletha.”

  “You’re what?”

  “Right now, before Brent gets home tonight, I’m going over to see her.”

  “So you called me to talk you out of this ridiculous idea?” I asked, trying to figure out what my role was supposed to be in this.

  “No, I called to ask you to come with me. If you will.” I don’t know if she could feel the hesitation or just figured it out because I hadn’t given voice to my thoughts, but then she added, “Please, Melissa. I haven’t shared what’s going on with me with anyone here in Birmingham except for you and Johnnie Mae. You’ve been to Arletha’s house. You know her. I don’t want to go by myself, but for some reason that I can’t quite explain, I feel in my spirit that I need to go over there tonight.”

  I knew I could effectively argue why this was a bad idea. But I also knew from experience that when a person feels something strongly in their spirit, they need to acknowledge it and act accordingly. Angela didn’t need to go to Arletha’s place alone. And I had a feeling in my spirit that if I told her I couldn’t or wouldn’t go, she was going to go anyway.

  “Sure. I’ll go with you,” I said.

  She let out a sigh. “Thank you. I’ll be there to pick you up in about fifteen minutes,” Angela said.

  “I’ll be ready,” I said as I looked first at the lounger I was wearing t
hat I needed to change out of, then at the clock that told me I didn’t have much time to waste.

  After I hung up, I called Marcus. The way he left didn’t feel right to me either. I wanted to be sure he was all right…that we were all right. He said everything was fine. He just didn’t want to crowd me or make me feel rushed.

  As I hurried to change into my favorite pink jogging suit with the hoodie, the one Marcus bought me for Christmas, I replayed in my head our conversation about Sasha. I was trying to figure out what I might have missed.

  I really didn’t see anything, unless he was having second thoughts about his ex-wife being an ex, and he had needed someone to talk that out with. Unless when he needed to talk, I had chosen someone else over him and hurt his feelings.

  I was looking out of my apartment window when I saw Angela pull up. I went out and got into her car. First I would take care of this. Then I would do a better job of finding out what was truthfully going on with Marcus.

  Chapter 42

  A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

  —Proverbs 17:17

  Angela pulled up in Arletha’s driveway. We sat there for at least five minutes. I wasn’t going to say anything to push her one way or the other. Frankly, I thought going there was not a great idea. But I also realized this was something Angela felt she had to do.

  Angela touched her purse a few times, then said, “Well, let’s get this over with.”

  We walked to the front door and knocked on the door. After a minute with no answer, Angela knocked several times in succession.

  I was actually relieved there was no answer. “Looks like she’s either not here or asleep,” I said.

  Angela started to walk away. She stopped and tried to peek in a window on the porch.

  “There’s a light on in the back,” Angela said, then she trotted off the porch and, to my surprise, headed toward the back of the house. I followed her, not because I really wanted to, but because I didn’t think going around to the back of someone’s house alone, at night, was either a smart or a safe thing to do. I took out my cell phone and held it ready in my hand.