Practicing What You Preach

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  “I know. If only I could go back and redo parts of my life, I would. I was too busy trying to be someone that I wasn’t. After my mother told me I could either abide by her rules or leave, I left. At sixteen, I ran away with a thirty-year-old man who claimed he loved me and wanted to take care of me. I left my newborn in my mother’s care. The man I left with lived in a town in Alabama called the Colony. He claimed he was only in Asheville to work on a special project. Leaving with him was a huge mistake. I learned all too soon he didn’t care anything about me. He used me, turned me into a full-fledged teenage prostitute. I became even more of a disgrace to all my mother had raised me to be and all God had created me to be. I figured out too late that I’d thrown my life away following behind him. But there I was stuck, with no way home.

  “I was a disgrace. I wanted the Arletha Black everyone knew to die. After that man put me out when I bucked him, I met a missionary at a revival. She was on her way to Birmingham. I came up here with her, and there began my journey of becoming a true Christian—a new creature who wanted nothing more than to live for God. That old Arletha was now dead. Arletha Black had officially become Arletha Brown. I became the person I thought God desired me to be. But in the process, I suppose I became an overly religious, judgmental person. Someone who thought I was better than everyone else because I was trying to live such a perfect life. I was on my way to Heaven anyhow. Then, after all those years, you come along. My never-truly-forgotten daughter, Rebecca’s daughter—Angel,” Arletha said.

  She squeezed Angela’s hand again. “You showed up, and despite my nastiness to you, your cousin, and your friend, you still reached out to me. You even invited me to your wedding. Oh, I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. And I was so proud watching you. I was accustomed to people talking about me behind my back, making fun of me and my religion. But you had reached out to me. Now don’t get me wrong. I was fine with the persecution because I felt I was being persecuted for the sake of Christ. And persecution for Christians, in my book, was always a good thing. That meant I was on the right track. The Bible tells us men will hate us and come against us. So I was proud I was disliked.” Arletha slowly shook her head.

  “But you, you showed me what a true Christian is—one who can look past the hurt and work to heal it. You signed for me to get care just because you thought it was the right thing to do. No one has ever done anything like that for me. I was a faithful member of a church for over forty years. I left about a year ago in search of a new church home. I didn’t find one, and my membership is still with the same church. Do you know how many people at my church would have done what you did for me?”

  Angela thought about it. She knew that when she called to let them know Arletha was in the hospital, no one seemed to care. She had yet to hear back from the pastor, and Angela had called again just to be certain her message had been delivered.

  “Yes, he got the message. In fact, we announced it at Wednesday night services,” Angela was told by the person who answered the phone.

  As far as Angela knew, no one had come by as yet. Angela shook her head in answer to Arletha’s question about how many people would have done what she did.

  “Not many, if any,” Arletha said. She chuckled a little. “You know, for years I thought I was saved. As a child, I had gone forward and shaken the preacher’s hand. I’d been baptized. But on that night when I knew something wasn’t right, I realized that what I thought was saved was not. I had given the preacher my hand, but I hadn’t given Jesus my heart. I had tradition, but I didn’t have Christ. I had to make it right with the Lord. The scriptures state that if any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Today, I realize fully what that means. The old Arletha has truly passed away now, not because I left everything and everyone I knew and took on a different identity. I am a new creature because of who I am in Christ.”

  “Thank you,” Angela said as she wiped away her tears. “Thank you for the gift you have just given to me.

  “May I ask something of you at this time?”

  “Of course. Whatever you need.” Angela continued to wipe her tears.

  “Can you and I be friends?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know you were searching for your grandmother. Honestly, at this point in my life, I’m still not the one you seek. I don’t have many friends, as we’ve pretty much established. I would love it if you and I could do as you suggested earlier and become friends first. We can get to know each other better and allow things to develop from there.”

  Angela cried even more. She wiped her eyes with her tissue. “Yes, of course.” She nodded. “Of course. Whatever you feel comfortable with.” Angela leaned over and she and Arletha held each other as if they never wanted to let go.

  When Angela did let go, she said, “As Great-granny would say were she here: Welcome home. Welcome home. Now come on in, and stay a spell.”

  Arletha closed her eyes. “Thank you, baby. Thank you. And thank you, Jesus.”

  Chapter 47

  Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.

  —2 Corinthians 3:5

  Sasha packed a suitcase and Aaliyah’s weekend bag. On Monday, after she left work, she picked up Aaliyah and drove to Marcus’s house. Marcus opened the door.

  “Hi, Daddy!” Aaliyah said.

  “Well, hello there,” Marcus said, looking from Aaliyah to Sasha. Aaliyah ran into his arms and he picked her up. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” He smiled at Aaliyah, then turned his gaze to Sasha.

  Sasha smiled as she walked past him without giving him an answer. He closed the door and followed her.

  “Is something going on?” Marcus asked.

  “Nope,” Sasha said, as she took off her coat, placed it on a chair, then headed straight for the kitchen.

  Marcus set Aaliyah down and helped her get out of her coat. He picked Aaliyah up again and carried her into the kitchen.

  Sasha was at the sink running water. “I should have brought some of the leftovers from yesterday. We had so much food, there’s plenty still in the refrigerator. Maybe I’ll run and get it later and we can have that tomorrow. I’ll just make something quick for us to eat now.”

  Marcus sat Aaliyah in a chair. “You don’t have to cook tonight. Yesterday was more than enough.”

  “We have to eat,” she said. “I’m not planning on fixing much. Besides, from the look of your refrigerator, and pantry, you don’t have a lot to work with. Maybe I’ll go buy some groceries later tonight, too.”

  “Why would you do that?” Marcus asked.

  She took out the skillet and placed it on the stove. “I’m going to cook that steak you have in the refrigerator, maybe with some mashed potatoes. Do you have any of the instant kind? I hate peeling potatoes.” She found a box of instant potatoes in the cabinet next to the stove. “Here it is.”

  “I was planning on using that steak tomorrow,” Marcus said, thinking of the special night he had planned for Melissa for Valentine’s Day.

  “I’ll buy you another package,” Sasha said, running the water over the steak, then patting it dry with a paper towel. “I saw Paula Deen—or was it Rachael Ray?” Sasha said as she stopped to think. “Whichever one it was, she made this great dish using steak. Although I think the cut she used was a lot thinner than this thick piece you have. Why would you buy such a thick steak, anyway? I’ll need to slice it if I want to make what I saw her do on TV.”

  “Honey, why don’t you go in the den and watch television while Mommy and I talk,” Marcus said to Aaliyah.

  Aaliyah got up and began to walk like a zombie. “All right,” Aaliyah said, giggling as she went.

  After Aaliyah left the room, Marcus walked over to Sasha just as she turned on one of the eyes of the stove under the pot of water mixed with milk for the mashed potatoes.

  “Sasha, what are you doing?”

  “I told you, I’m making dinner for us.”

&nb
sp; “But why are you making dinner for us tonight?”

  She stopped and smiled. “Do me a favor.” She pulled her keys out of her pocket. “Go out to my car and get my suitcase and Aaliyah’s weekend bag and bring them in.”

  “What suitcase?”

  “Mine and also Aaliyah’s weekend bag.”

  “And why are your and Aaliyah’s bags in your car?”

  She smiled and opened her eyes wider. “We’re moving in with you,” she said, laying the keys on the counter when he didn’t take them immediately. She started pounding the steak with a mallet to tenderize it.

  Marcus walked over and grabbed her wrist in midair before she could pound again. “Hold on, hold on. Put this down and come over here and talk to me,” he said.

  She put down the steel mallet, went to the sink, rinsed off her hands, and dried them on a paper towel as she walked over and sat down.

  “Talk to me,” Marcus said.

  “There’s nothing much to say. Aaliyah and I are moving in with you.”

  “Okay, that’s where I’m missing something. Aaliyah moving in I might understand. You, on the other hand, are…how do I say this without it coming out the wrong way? You are no longer my wife. You have no right or good reason to move in.”

  She grabbed his hand. “I was going to talk to you about this later, but if you prefer, we can talk about it now. Marcus, I was wrong.”

  “You were wrong? About what?”

  “About everything. Everything that had to do with us. Everything except marrying you to begin with.”

  “Sasha—”

  “Let me finish. Look, Marcus. You are a wonderful man, a fantastic father, a great provider, a learned minister of the gospel, an incredible businessman. And Marcus, you were the best husband any woman could ever ask for.” She caressed his hand. “I should never have left you. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard for that divorce. I should have worked harder to make our marriage work, as hard as you worked.”

  “Well, things are as they are. You’ve told me repeatedly that I need to accept that fact. I’ve accepted it. Now, as you’ve also said, we both need to just move on.”

  “But I don’t want to accept it. I was wrong, Marcus. I was wrong. You deserved better. I was immature and spoiled. I listened to all the wrong people when I should have listened to what God was saying and to my heart.” She moved in closer. “Well, I’m listening to God now. We’ve got to make right what I worked so hard to make wrong.”

  Marcus stood up and took a few steps away as he rubbed his head. “Sasha, I’m with someone else now.”

  Sasha stood up. “But you already have a family. You have me and Aaliyah. And I’m willing to work at us being the family you always dreamed of. Think of the testament this will be to other Christians if you and I can show how God can restore and repair even a marriage that once ended in divorce. You’re a preacher. It’s like you said to me when I was pushing so hard to get this divorce: It doesn’t look great when a Christian’s marriage ends in divorce. It looks even worse when it’s a preacher. You were right.”

  She grabbed his hand again. “I was the one who wanted the divorce. And now I am the one who is admitting she was wrong and letting you know I want us to be a family again. Aaliyah deserves that much from both of us. We have to do this, not just for us, but for our daughter.”

  Aaliyah’s name caused him to gaze into Sasha’s eyes. “Aaliyah has accepted that you and I are no longer together like that.”

  “No, she hasn’t. She’s coping. I know that, and so do you. She hates having to leave my house to come to yours and to have to leave yours to come back to mine. What kind of life is that for a child? I was selfish and ended up causing you and Aaliyah to pay for my being so consumed with myself and what I thought the world had to offer me. What I wanted or thought I wanted. Well, I’m coming to you right now, first to say I was wrong, and second to ask for your forgiveness.”

  He gently grabbed her by the shoulders. “Sasha, I forgave you a long time ago.”

  “Then tell me what I need to do to make things right with us. What do I need to do to fix this? You know how hard this is for me. I’m not good at admitting my mistakes, and I sure don’t like doing it and having to beg along with it. But if I have to beg, then I’m putting aside my pride. You know the Bible says that pride goes before destruction.” She grabbed him by his tie and pulled him down toward her, kissing him lightly on his lips.

  Marcus stepped back from her.

  “Marcus, please. Just go to my car and get our bags. Let’s you and I talk about this. Let’s just see how things go if we give this relationship another try.”

  “You can’t stay here with me like that,” Marcus said.

  “Why not?”

  “We’re not husband and wife anymore.”

  “But we were. And in God’s sight, we’re still husband and wife.”

  “No, in God’s sight we are not. We legally married in the state of Alabama. God recognized that. We legally divorced, dissolved that marriage in the state of Alabama. And God recognizes that. Which means we are no longer married in the sight of God.”

  “But the Bible says what God has joined together, let not man put asunder. Sure, we legally divorced. But God put us together and no paper can put that asunder,” Sasha said.

  “That scripture you’re quoting does say that. But think about it, Sasha. It’s a statement of fact, not a mandate. It lets us know that whatever God puts together nothing or no one can ever break up. If God had put you and me together, there is nothing or no one that would have been able to come against us and break us up. But something did break us up.”

  “Yes. My foolishness,” Sasha said. “But isn’t this just showing you that God wants you and me to be together? Think about it, Marcus. Do you think if this was just me that I would be here literally begging you to take me back?”

  He laughed a little. “Not the Sasha I know.”

  She smiled. “You didn’t have to agree with me so quickly.” She stepped up to him once more. “Marcus, you were good for me. You brought out the best in me.”

  “And the worst,” Marcus added. “Some of the things you’ve said and done over the course of our marriage and our divorce were definitely not the best in you.”

  “But look where I am now. Here I am with my bags packed, asking—no, begging—you to give us another try. You and I don’t need to date. In fact, we could go find a justice of the peace or one of your preacher friends tomorrow and get remarried. I was the problem. I’ve confessed my sins. If God can forgive me and treat me as though it never happened, then how can you who call yourself a preacher and a follower of God not follow His lead? We need to think about Aaliyah for a change instead of our own desire.”

  “I always put Aaliyah’s needs first. Always.”

  “I know, Marcus. I wasn’t implying that you don’t. What I’m saying is: our baby needs us to grow up and act like adults. You were being the adult. I was being childish. I went out there to see what the world has to offer. Frankly, I don’t like it. I like being in a world with you in it. I’m ready to settle down now and be a real wife and mother.”

  “But I’m in love with someone else.”

  Sasha laughed that off before taking her hands and pressing them to her face. “You’re not in love with anyone else. You thought we were through. You were trying to move on, the way I told you that you needed to do. But we can work this out because I’m a different person today than I was even just yesterday. God is working on me, Marcus. And with you there, I know I’m going to be all that God has called me to be. Please, hear my heart. Listen to my heart.”

  “Aren’t you listening to me? I’m in love with Melissa. In fact, I was planning to ask her to marry me tomorrow.”

  Sasha burst into a laugh as she shook her head. “But you’re not going to do that now.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  She shook her head even more. “Nope. Because you know you would be wrong to walk away from us.” She went ov
er to the stove and turned it off. “You preach forgiveness. You preach on the God of a second chance. You preach on doing the right thing even when the right thing is hard. The right thing is for you and me to make that vow we took in front of all those people work. For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer. We have just gone through the ‘for worse’ part.

  “You preach about doing the right thing. You preach about family and the importance of families staying together. You preached to me against us getting a divorce, especially when you saw I was not planning on changing my mind. And you’ve preached about rebuilding that which has been torn down. Our relationship was torn down. But we can rebuild it stronger and better that it ever was. I’m asking you, Marcus, to give us a chance. I’m asking you to simply start practicing what you preach. Right now. Right here with me and your daughter. Let’s begin again. Practice what you preach.”

  The doorbell rang. Marcus looked at Sasha. It rang again. He went to answer it.

  “Marcus, how are you?” Melissa said as she hurried inside. “I know we’re seeing each other tomorrow, and I can see you have company so I won’t be but a few minutes. But I have some great news about a wedding I just got a call to do. It’s huge! Huge! I didn’t want to tell you about it over the phone so I came right over. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think you might be busy.”

  Sasha walked in, drying her hand with a towel. Melissa stopped when she saw the tall, perfect size six, Vogue model designer-wearing, stunning beauty of a woman enter Marcus’s foyer.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Melissa said. “I see I really am interrupting something.” She threw a questioning look toward Marcus.

  Marcus turned to look at Sasha standing behind him, then back at Melissa.

  “You must be Melissa,” Sasha said as she walked up and graciously shook Melissa’s hand.