Tall, Dark and Hairy (The Necro-Files Book 3)

by C. L. Bledsoe

  “So what do we do? The Council might move if we take too long.”

  “True.”

  Slips in Shit and Deer Humper found us then. They seemed to have recovered, though we were all limping and sore. My whole body ached from the fireball that hit me. It was like I’d been burned but my skin wasn’t blistered; it felt tight and deadened.

  Nathan bowed to them, and they clapped him on the back with big, toothy grins.

  “Do you know each other?” I asked.

  An image of an older man appeared in my head. He was grinning, scarred, and tattooed like a biker, but the resemblance to Nathan was unmistakable.

  “They knew your father.”

  “Yeah, I guess so.” There was a moment’s tightness in his voice. The bigfoots exchanged looks and then Slips in Shit fixed his eyes on Nathan, who closed his. Nathan gasped and then smiled. I guessed Slips in Shit was sharing memories of Nathan’s father.

  “Thank you. Well,” he added after a moment, “I guess we better get to walking. Would you mind leading the way? I’m not from around here.”

  Slips in Shit nodded and began to walk.

  * * *

  We were all exhausted from what we’d been through, but the bigfoots easily outpaced us. They’d jog ahead and then wait for us to catch up. Nathan muttered, impatient at how slow I was going, but I was too tired to run after them. I did my best to keep up, though. The bigfoots didn’t seem to mind.

  Dark was settling over the trees by the time we reached our destination. I expected another cave or even some kind of Ewok village type place made of tree forts, but when we caught up to them, Slips in Shit and Deer Humper were waiting in a clearing with at least a dozen more bigfoots. The way they sat resembled a cross between a bunch of dudes hanging out in a parking lot and a troop of apes in the veldt. Quasi was sitting on the ground with a group of bigfoots, laughing and talking. Well, he was talking. As I watched, one of them passed him what had to be a joint. He inhaled and then coughed and laughed and passed it back. A bigfoot took it, blowing the smoke out through his nose.

  I won’t lie. I ran up to him and grabbed him in a big hug, which settled nicely into a kiss.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “Long story.”

  Nathan came up and crossed his arms. “Who’s this?”

  “Quasi. From the band Shizknit,” I said. “Quasi, this is Nathan.”

  Quasi offered his hand. Nathan looked at it, glanced at me, and then took it. I wanted to tell him not to be a dick, but that would’ve just made things tenser.

  “The bigfoots took him to save him from the Council, I guess,” I said. “He’s my friend.” I gave Nathan big, mean eyes.

  Nathan nodded.

  “Seriously.” Quasi gaped. “There are bigfoots! Dozens of them!”

  “Thousands.” Nathan glanced around. “Scattered over North America. Enough to maintain a viable gene pool.”

  “Yeah. That makes sense. Do you know they use the Appalachian Trail to migrate?”

  “You’ve been learning all kinds of stuff today,” I said.

  “It’s fascinating. I can’t wait to…I don’t know, I feel like I could write a book about it or something.”

  “Whoa.” Nathan held up a hand. “We need to have a conversation about that.”

  “Come on, Nathan,” I said. “Give him a minute.”

  Nathan waved my complaint away. “What do you think would happen if you wrote about them using the Appalachian Trail? It would be flooded with gawkers.”

  Quasi considered this and nodded. “I get that.”

  “It would disrupt their entire existence.”

  “Scientists would experiment on them and stuff,” Quasi said.

  Nathan and I exchanged looks.

  “Not even scientists, just idiots. Hell, there was a documentary about bigfoots down in Arkansas a couple decades ago, and you know how people responded? They showed up with guns to try to hunt them. So I’m asking you, if you care about these creatures at all, don’t even tell anyone what you’ve learned. Just let it go.”

  Quasi looked at me and then at him. “Thanks for the insight.”

  “They made me sign a confidentiality agreement,” I said.

  “You knew about this?” He nodded toward the bigfoots.

  “No, not this.”

  Nathan cleared his throat, which I took as a warning for me to shut up. Quasi looked from me to Nathan and back. One big, happy supernatural family.

  “I need to sit down,” I said. “Before I fall down.” Quasi took me by the hand to a log while Nathan smirked. I gave him a look, and his smirk became a smile.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  As we were resting, a silence grew around us. All the animals went quiet, and so did the bigfoots. They started to disappear into the woods until only Slips in Shit and Deer Humper remained. An image of Caroline and the Council members appeared in my head.

  “We need to go,” Nathan said.

  “What’s wrong?” Quasi asked.

  “Some of those idiots I mentioned are coming.”

  Even though I’d been sitting for a while, I was still exhausted. I stood up and every part of me went stiff. I hobbled toward the trees. “How did they find us?”

  “No idea,” Nathan said.

  I stopped in my tracks. Nathan looked back at me.

  “Shit,” I said. Now that I’d had a moment for my brain to recover, I wanted to kick myself. I started to strip.

  “Um,” Quasi said.

  “It’s best just to enjoy the show,” Nathan said.

  I paused long enough to glare at him. I stripped down to my unders before realizing I hadn’t bothered to check my hair. I found the tracking device on the back of my neck, just above my shoulders. I yanked on it, but it must’ve been attached to the skin, because it hurt like hell.

  “Get it!” I ordered Nathan. He came up.

  “It’s going to hurt.” He ripped it out. It felt like he took about half my hair with it.

  “Nice warning!” I started putting my clothes back on.

  He didn’t bother apologizing, but ran over to Slips in Shit and Deer Humper.

  “The Council is using this to track us,” he said. “If one of you takes it far away, you can buy us time to escape. But be careful, they will track you.”

  Deer Humper held out his hand. Nathan dropped it in, and the bigfoot disappeared. Slips in Shit turned and ran into the woods, followed by Nathan and Quasi. I did my best to keep up.

  * * *

  After a little while, my muscles loosened up and I was able to run. I caught up to Quasi and passed him, and then Nathan. I raced him until I was short of breath.

  “You’re leaving your boyfriend behind,” he said.

  I turned and could barely see Quasi trudging along behind us. I could hear him panting from where we were, though. I slowed to let him catch up. He was wide-eyed and red-faced, but he didn’t complain.

  We kept running. Every now and then, Slips in Shit loped back to make sure we were going the right way and then darted ahead. I had no idea where we were going until we burst out onto the shore we’d landed on earlier and I saw the aluminum boat from before.

  I found some speed and jumped in, followed by Quasi. Nathan waited until we were in to push off from the shore. This time Nathan paddled; though it should be noted he didn’t make better time than I had. He moved us along the shore and to our right, heading for the center of the lake. Nathan kept a steady speed for what felt like miles until Quasi took over and made good time. Eventually we saw the parking lot ahead. We pulled up to a wharf, and Slips in Shit was gone. I looked around but couldn’t find him.

  “He’ll find us when he needs us,” Nathan said.

  * * *

  The parking lot was full of cars. Some of them were police cars. I just hoped they were here to deliver doughnuts.

  We stumbled up the shore. C Note and Emily were leaning against her jeep near the cops. When they saw us, they came running. E
mily grabbed me in a hug.

  “We thought you got eaten by a bear or something!”

  “Sorry, we got lost. We left the path.” I glanced at Quasi. He nodded in agreement.

  “We got lost.”

  “Lost? We’ve been out here all night looking for you guys!”

  “Never leave the path,” Nathan said.

  Emily went all business when she saw him: her posture straightened, she brushed a hand through her hair, and she adopted a mischievous smile. “Who’s this?”

  Nathan offered his hand. “Nathan Venator. I’m, uh, Daisy’s cousin. I came out to meet up with you guys and just crossed paths. How weird is that?”

  “Thank you.” Emily rubbed my arm like we were besties. C Note came up with a couple roadies.

  “Thanks so much.” He hesitated, looking from Emily to Nathan, but took Nathan’s hand.

  “Hey,” Nathan said. “Aren’t you C Note from Shizknit?” I gave him a look, which he ignored.

  C Note broke into an awkward smile. “Yeah. Listen, we don’t know how to repay you, but at least you can be our guests at the concert.”

  “That would be great,” Nathan said.

  C Note and the roadies took Quasi over to the parking lot to talk to the police and call off the search. I waited until they were out of earshot.

  “You have no idea who Shizknit is,” I said.

  Nathan shrugged. “This way, I can keep an eye on you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything.

  Emily, Nathan, and I decided to go back to the campsite to get our clothes and things while Quasi and the others went to practice some more. Nathan’s car was in the parking lot, and even though I hated to ride with him because he’s a terrible driver, I took Emily aside.

  “I think I’ll ride with Nathan to direct him to the campsite,” I told her.

  “That’s your cousin, huh?” she said. I gave her a look and she held up her hands. “Hey, he’s really hot. Is he like first cousin or…?”

  I nudged her and tried not to blush as I went and got in with Nathan in his beater Toyota he’d driven down from Baltimore.

  “Thanks for coming, Cousin Nathan,” I said as we pulled out of the parking lot.

  He grinned. “Hey, you’re my favorite human person. How could I not come?”

  My mouth dropped open. He kept staring straight ahead.

  “So do you remember how to get back to the Council’s hideout?” He asked. I was grateful for him changing the subject.

  “Maybe.” I explained how they’d put a bag over my head and sneaked me in. “If we can get back to the shore where you picked us up, I might be able to find my way back.” I paused. “How did you find us, anyway?”

  “I followed the sound of screaming.”

  “Ha, ha.”

  * * *

  Nathan was going to sleep in his car so Emily and I went to our tent. I had the idea of going to a hotel or something because I wanted some comfort, but when my body hit the inflatable mattress, I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but Emily chose that moment for girl talk.

  “I really like C Note,” she said.

  I tried not to sigh too loud. I imagined her twirling her hair in her fingers or snapping bubblegum and pushed those thoughts from my mind as unkind.

  “He’s not like, I don’t know. He’s different, you know? He’s creative and intelligent. And you know he never graduated college?”

  “That’s a good thing?” I felt bad when I said it. There was a questioning tone to her voice, like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

  “Their first album hit when they were all still undergrads, so they dropped out.”

  “Seems shortsighted. I mean, what happens when they aren’t as popular anymore?”

  She raised up on one arm and turned on her side to look at me. “I thought you liked Shizknit.”

  “I do. I’m just saying. Success can’t last forever.”

  “It has with the Beatles.”

  I didn’t even know why I was arguing. I think I was just cranky. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just tired. He’s pretty cool.”

  “They could always just go back to college, or whatever.”

  “You’re right. So tell me more about C Note. Is he going to write a song about you?”

  She settled on her back. “He’s nice to me.” She fell silent for a moment. “I mean, he’s sweet. Not a lot of guys are nice to me, you know? I’m used to having to always be on guard. But it’s different with him.”

  I realized that though Emily was beautiful and popular and brilliant in certain ways, she had her own struggles just like anybody.

  “So what happens when the festival’s over?” I wanted to kick myself for asking, but it just slipped out.

  This time, she sighed loudly. “That’s what I’m worried about. We’re just getting to know each other, you know? We don’t have time to really cement a relationship.”

  “Well don’t do anything drastic,” I said. “Like sleep with him.”

  She rose back up. “Why not?”

  This is someone who hadn’t seen enough afterschool specials. “Because that will be the end of it.”

  She looked at me. “You think?”

  “I do. A big part of what’s going on between you guys is sexual tension. If you dissipate that, you’ll put a period on the relationship.”

  She considered this. “You’re smart.”

  I laughed at that.

  “No, really, you know way more about relationships than I do.”

  “Only in an objective sense. I mean, I haven’t been in a lot of them.” I paused. “I read a lot.”

  “You haven’t?” she said. “What about that Nathan? Tell me about him.”

  “What about him?” I tried to laugh but it came out more as a snuffle.

  “He rescued you and Quasi.”

  “Well, rescued, I mean… He sort of found us.”

  “He’s cute too.”

  I shrugged. “He’s my cousin.”

  She grinned. “But Quasi’s pretty cute too.”

  “He is.” I felt my whole face light up in a smile. “In a quirky kind of way.”

  “And he’s creative and fun. And sweet.”

  I was still grinning like an idiot. “All true.”

  “So you like him.”

  I shrugged.

  “Mind if I go out with him?”

  “What?” I felt the blood drain from my face.

  She pointed at me. “Ahh! See? You like him.”

  “Ha,” I said. I lay back on the air mattress. She lay back too, quiet for a moment.

  “I think we should just go with it. What happens, happens. All that jazz.”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “Obsessing over it would be dumb.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Neither of us is going to follow that advice, are we?”

  “Nope.”

  * * *

  I sank into a deep sleep full of vivid, strange dreams. I woke a little after dawn, groggy and stiff, to the sound of fireworks. I lay there a moment trying to go back to sleep when I realized that didn’t make any sense. I jumped up—OK I flopped over on my side and crawled to the tent flap, unzipped it, and threw myself outside. The sky burst into light, and I struggled to my feet. The light was coming from the sky above Nathan’s car, which was maybe twenty feet away at the edge of our campsite, so I hobbled over on sore feet and stiff legs to find him ducking down behind his car.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “The Council found us.”

  Of course they had. I should’ve known they would, but I’d been too tired to think about it. But had Nathan? It seemed like something he wouldn’t have missed.

  “Is this how they attacked before?” he asked.

  “Except there were bigfoots, and they were over there.” I pointed past the campgrounds. Nathan raised his head up. “Where’s your gun?”

  “Too risky. I might hit somebo
dy else. Don’t worry. I have a plan.”

  “Does it involve not dying?”

  He held up a hand and I heard the telltale fizz of another electricity ball heading for us. Slips in Shit appeared beside us, grabbed us both in a tight hug, and teleported us away.

  We appeared behind the line of Council members, who were skulking behind the stoners’ car maybe twenty feet back. Nathan had already pulled his gun. He stepped up to Caroline and put it to her head.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?” She tried to bat the gun away, but he grabbed her shoulder.

  “You’re done,” he said.

  The other three Council members turned and started to rub their hands together. Their hands glowed. Nathan cocked the hammer on his gun. I don’t think he blinked at all.

  “Wait!” Caroline held up her hands. The others separated theirs.

  Deer Humper appeared beside me, and a moment later I heard a scream. Emily had emerged from the tent and run over by us. She was standing just past the Council members, staring at Slips in Shit. Deer Humper winced and put his hands over his ears.

  “I guess we need to talk about some things,” I called to her. “But first, you need to stop screaming.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Nathan marched Caroline and the others to the clearing where the first attack had happened so we could be away from the other campers while we talked, and sat them on the ground. Nathan tied each of their arms to their legs, palms down, so they couldn’t make any more electricity balls, I guessed. Slips in Shit and Deer Humper stayed back from Emily, whom I practically had to drag over, she was freaking out so much.

  Nathan was pretty pissed about all the attention this attack had drawn, which I could understand, but I couldn’t help. I was trying to calm Emily down by convincing her that when it came to being insane, it wasn’t her, it was the world.

  “Bigfoots?” Emily said. “For real?”

  I gestured toward Slips in Shit as if to say what do you think? He smiled at her. I didn’t even want to know what he was thinking. I just hoped he had the sense not to let her know.