Darnay Road

by Diane Munier

  He takes it like I’ve given him the Hope Diamond. If you don’t know what that is, it’s at the Smithsonian, which I hope to visit one day, and it’s a really huge diamond.

  “Thanks,” he says, staring at the bracelet. “Thanks Georgia. I’ll keep it with me. It’ll bring me luck.” His smile, it makes me take the shakiest breath. I pretty much wish I had the Hope Diamond cause I’d give it to him as well except it has a curse so of course I wouldn’t. But my bracelet is nothing but lucky because it brought Easy back to me.

  So he kisses that bracelet instead of me, and he puts it in his pocket. “You better not tell your granma just yet,” he says like he’s just thinking it out.

  “Don’t worry,” I say. I will not be telling Granma.

  “I’ll get you something, too.” We are just looking at each other. “Ballerina.”

  I laugh a little but it’s kind of nice. I mean I like it fine.

  “C’mon,” he says.

  We can tell it’s half time by the number of people pouring out of the building even though it is cold, but some smoke in the gym, in the lobby where there are ashtrays, but some come outside cause it smells like old socks in there when it gets too hot and the smoke layers over. Easy gets out first and holds the door for me and I scoot out. He takes my hand.

  “I…I thought you didn’t want to go inside,” I say. I mean about it being too close in there. I really wonder if he still wants to take off.

  “Changed my mind,” he says, and his smile. I guess he’s feeling as loopy as I am.

  So he’s holding my hand, like hard, and we walk very quietly back to the gym. People stare at us. Everyone does. I can’t blame them for staring at him. He did that tackle and he showed up at school in his uniform and he’s holding my hand so I guess it’s official that he’s not my cousin or something. I mean, I’ve gone to kindergarten with a lot of these and now I have this older boy holding my hand. It’s pretty remarkable. And sudden.

  Once at the gym he lets go of my hand and holds the door for me so we’ve broken apart and I know that’s how it will be. I put my hands in my jacket pocket and so does Easy. What happened in the car, it’s ours now. It makes me think of sharing myself with him, how that would be. I’m not even sure what goes on, how it’s done. But it must be pretty wonderful even if it’s probably very embarrassing.

  I just keep following Easy. Aunt May is standing in the bleachers and drinking a Coca-Cola.

  She raises her eyebrows when she sees us, mostly me. Easy waits so I can go in first.

  “Where have you been?” she says, her eyes on me.

  “Outside,” I answer, and I have the cold hands to prove it so I touch her cheek and she says, “Mercy me.”

  “You missed it,” I say. “They arrested that guy who was shouting the protests.”

  I am telling the truth. But I’m a liar, too. It’s like a dark power I try not to use, but now seems the time to use it.

  “Are you sick? You’re very flushed,” she says feeling my forehead with the back of her hand.

  I’m sure I’m even more flushed now. “I…need a soda,” I say. I turn to ask Easy if he wants one too, and he’s talking to a ragamuffin, also known as his brother Cap.

  I wave a little, then rear back and introduce Cap to Aunt May. She turns her probes on him and she looks him up and down. Up and down, and I can see the ‘mercy me,’ in that look cause he has no idea but Aunt May has gone out on a limb on Cap’s behalf and my poor, poor granma. That’s what May is thinking about now is my guess.

  Cap says, “Hi,” to May and May says, “Young man.”

  Then he gets to talking to Easy again and I fold my arms and drum my fingers a little. I wonder how long I’ll have to wait to kiss Easy again. I wonder if he’ll kiss me again tonight. Did he just say every day like he was done for this day, or did he imply there’d be more? He kissed my bracelet and he could have gotten in another one. I mean, I was ready. But I guess it’s like pie. One should be enough unless you’re a glutton.

  I just know I can hardly wait. I wonder how many girls in this school have felt like I do now? And nobody really prepared me or maybe I’d of done it sooner. But not with any boy in this school, of course, just with Easy.

  I’m going steady now. He’s got my bracelet in his pocket and his hands are in his pockets too so it’s like he’s touching me. Not as good…but good.

  “Have you heard one thing I just said?” Aunt May asks me.

  Has Aunt May ever been kissed? Did she kiss Father Anthony? Oh God, while they shared a book or something did he suddenly kiss her and spill his tea. That’s just sick to think of.

  “Georgia Green,” May snaps.

  I look at May, but Abigail is suddenly there, standing on the bleachers a few rows down that are mostly empty while people mill about waiting for the game to start again. “Hey Cap,” Abigail is saying, her hands behind her back while she balances there on her tip-toes for some reason.

  He goes right to her, Cap does, steps along the seats, wearing his raggedy jeans, and his dirty tennis shoes and pea coat with his hair so long it’s sure to make some parents mad even though they are used to it by now. But still people don’t always like it and here at school they make them cut it and some of the boys grow their bangs as long as they can and they get in trouble.

  He goes right to her and she is looking up at him and her face is so sweet and bright. She is not disappointed in this grown up Cap at all it doesn’t seem like. Of course I feel protective right off. He is tall and she is Abigail May.

  “Georgia Christine what is the matter with you?” Aunt May hisses as she elbows me.

  “What?” I say.

  “I said is this Cap a good young man? I think Vi is going to throw rocks at my house when she sees him.”

  She has whispered this so Easy doesn’t hear, but he is talking to someone, another boy who remembers him.

  “Um…he’s very nice,” I say, watching Abigail giggle at something Cap says. Oh my, Abigail May. She better not kiss him. I don’t think she could take it.

  They blow the horn then and that means it’s going to start, but Abigail May ignores that and keeps talking to Cap and she never ignores that horn.

  We all sit then and Easy is shaking that boy’s hand, then he checks for his space and sits next to me, right up against me and I clear my throat and fold my arms and he’s folded his and that’s when I feel his fingers searching for mine. I give him two, no plan at all, and he wraps his around mine and you wouldn’t know unless you were expecting it, which I sure wasn’t.

  “You didn’t get your soda,” Aunt May says. “And Abigail May needs to get her little self into line.”

  The cheerleaders have lined up and they are waving their pom-poms as they await the team and the crowd is clapping and warming up as people still hurry to their seats and Cap stays standing as he watches Abigail May run off and get her pom and jump around with the biggest smile.

  I look briefly at Easy, and yes, he is real. And we’re going steady. And I don’t know what I’ll do when he leaves. He smiles at me and I feel his fingers press mine so tight. Everyone stands as the team runs out, and Cap drops beside Easy and I hear him say Abigail May is pretty and Easy laughs, and I just want now--forever.

  Darnay Road 53

  There is a sock hop after every home game. I don’t know how Easy makes the happy decision we are going but we are and Aunt May is approving. Now often I go to the sock hops where I’ve had my difficulties like I said, and Abigail May always goes to these disasters to show school spirit and twirl, but I am with Easy though I am not even standing by him as it helps me think…and not feel so guilty. I don’t know why I’m guilty but I am.

  Usually when we go to the sock hops Ricky brings us home. Sometimes we stop to get an ice cream but sometimes he’s mad about losing the game, or something else so we go straight home. He teases me about dancing with other boys, but it’s the kind of teasing that feels mean. And what he doesn’t know, you can’t tell a
boy no thanks when he’s nice and he’s gotten up his nerve. But mostly Abigail tells Ricky, “Shut up, fruit.” She’s very brave with him so I don’t have to be. But when she says it we laugh and laugh and he swears he’s not bringing us home next time or ever again.

  At our school, ‘fruit,’ is the favorite put-down word. If a friend calls you a fruit, it can be kind of…endearing in a weird way. But it can also be said very meanly and insulting. It’s also handy because you can say it in front of parents and grandparents even and not get in trouble. It’s disrespect, but we just do it to each other. And not to teachers, except behind their backs.

  It looks like we are going to the sock hop, even Easy. I just can’t imagine him there, but he is laughing with Cap and Abigail May is rounding us up, so it will happen.

  “You don’t have to do this,” I tell Easy once we’ve said goodnight to Aunt May and been reminded of curfew which is ten-thirty. We are not to leave the dance, which is chaperoned of course, by a nun and priest and parents. We are to come straight home. She also speaks to Ricky and he stares at Easy and Cap, though he and Cap have seemed friendly already, patting one another on the back and Ricky making fun of Cap’s hair and his bell-bottoms which no one here has yet to wear. Ricky agrees then snaps another player with his towel and runs off. He’s happy because Bloody Heart won.

  So finally Aunt May leaves and she will tell Granma. So I stand far away from Easy and Abigail May is jumping up and down with Aunt May practically still in ear-shot, and she’s yelling, “Yipee, we’re going to the dance to shake a tail-feather.”

  She goes in the locker room to change and I’m supposed to lead the Hardy Boys to the cafeteria where we have the dance. I’m a little worried about Cap’s hair…and pants. The hair is longer than is allowed, but this isn’t school time, just school property so I don’t know how far that rule goes. Even the band playing tonight looks like the Midwest’s version of the Beach Boys. Or they never would have gotten the job, believe me. And those pants, well they are almost un-American around here. Some wear them in public, but around here we’re straight…about everything.

  Easy still has his hands in his pockets. I am walking between these two and it’s still kind of hard to believe.

  “Do they have dances in Tennessee?” I say because I’m just not happy unless I’m embarrassing myself. Tennessee is not outer-space or something. It’s one of the stars on the red, white and blue.

  “I wouldn’t know,” Cap says.

  “They got a couple,” Easy says like he understands how to talk to a dimwit like me.

  “You ever go?” I say.

  “No,” Easy says. “We’re…not dancers.”

  “Well you don’t have to go to this,” I say. It certainly wasn’t my idea. We like the band enough, Abigail and I do, and the whole school too. They play at almost every single dance but they are good enough they have a record on the radio, a forty-five about a race car. Most of their music is about race cars or girls on the beach. And we don’t have a beach in Missouri. Not a real one so they are the palest surfer-boys you’d ever want to meet.

  I say all of that as we walk over. As soon as we enter the dance one of the dads stops Cap.

  Cap says, “I don’t go here. I’m not even from here.”

  “Who are you with?” the dad says looking at me. But I don’t have a dad he would know as Officer Stanley doesn’t even come to church on Christmas much less join The Knights of Columbus, like a lot of dads. And Officer Stanley has the new family Granma pretty much refuses to acknowledge.

  “He’s with me.” I gesture to Easy, too. “I’m a student,” I say digging in my pocket for my student I. D. which I flash quickly.

  The man tells Cap to get a haircut then he walks off like we’ve been the rude ones.

  “Sorry,” I say to Cap. I don’t know why I have to apologize for everyone in the world but I don’t want Cap’s feelings to be hurt.

  Easy has been talking to a couple of kids but he heard I guess. He says to Cap, “Maybe you should wait outside.”

  I’m really surprised that’s how he’s going to take it.

  Cap doesn’t seem to care. It’s like discrimination doesn’t even faze these two.

  “He can stay in,” I tell Easy.

  “He’s all right,” Easy says.

  I look through the glass door and Cap is already talking to a couple of boys. He’s also bumming a cigarette. Smoking is not allowed, but kids get by with it anyway.

  So Easy takes my hand and we walk along the back wall and he leans there and I lean beside and he’s got my hand and it’s all I can think of.

  “Why’d you say yes to this?” I ask, just so nervous he’ll find it so stupid.

  He pulls me away from the wall a little and even though it’s a fast song he holds me like it’s a slow one, his hands clasped at the small of my back, against my hair, and I put my hands on the back of his neck like I wanted to. And it is warm.

  I could easily go all the way in and lay my head on him, but it’s risky. If you touch like that you can attract a chaperone who will make you both straighten up. But I’m pretty impressed with Easy thinking ahead. Of course we can do things here we couldn’t at Granma’s. And it looks fine. I mean, we’re just kids. I am.

  “You dance fine,” I say.

  He doesn’t comment. He’s looking at me like he’s trying not to smile.

  Am I on a date? Really close to it. I mean, if he’s asked outright, asked Granma…well he did say he wanted to spend time with me and Granma just blew it away, like she does. Ostrich, Aunt May said. I never really thought about her that way. But maybe. Maybe that is Granma all right.

  But it wasn’t me, was it? Pink room, bomb shelter, he said. I hoped he didn’t see me that way. Just an ostrich. I’m just a kid in school. I’m trying to read and I have opinions, lots of them. But people don’t want to hear it, hear me too much. “This isn’t the Georgia Green Dispatch,” Sister has said. “It’s “The Quill.” You are one reporter, not thee reporter. Even the apostles came in an even dozen and shared the load,” she says.

  She doesn’t know how she can hurt. Teachers can hurt and nuns can hurt. I wasn’t trying to fill the whole rag.

  She said my article was too long. I wonder what Easy would think of it, my article on Vietnam. I wonder if he’d hold me like this, like me this much if he knew what I really thought about the war.

  “What’s the matter?” he says and when he speaks, or I do, and I haven’t said much, but when I do we pull back and look at each other. The band plays one song after another and we haven’t really moved off this same spot.

  “Why do you think something is the matter?”

  “I don’t know. I feel thoughts racing through you.”

  I pull in my chin. “I don’t think so.” How can he feel my thoughts?

  We continue our strange non-dance which just means we hold each other and barely move foot to foot.

  “You want to go talk to your friends or something?” he says.

  “No.”

  “You want to dance like this?”

  “Yes.”

  We move closer and continue to ignore the beat.

  I didn’t expect to love Easy when I was a kid. It just happened. And it keeps happening, this feeling. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it, but I know it’s giving myself to it that will change my life before it’s even started very much.

  And I do give myself. Which is saying something because I don’t just give myself. Just to my country, maybe God, Granma and Abigail May for sure. And Easy.

  After another song we get a tap on the shoulder and I lift my head. I don’t know when it found its way over Easy’s heart, and I’ve barely been aware we are in the place where I eat lunch almost every day. I’ve been so lost in Easy I didn’t even know time had passed in the usual way.

  “You two need to straighten up,” Sister says. “Georgia Green, who is this young man?”

  “Eas…Ethan Caghan. He’s a soldier.” I
am only telling all this so she shows him some kindness.

  “Not from our school? How old are you young man?”

  “Sixteen,” Easy says, his hands still on me and mine on him though we have allowed some space.

  “Well you are forgetting yourself, and a soldier knows discipline, yes?’

  Easy doesn’t answer. He just smiles at her. He wasn’t raised to fear…or revere women in veils, even modern ones that only reach their shoulders.

  “Well you two need to dance with others. Come out of this dark corner.”

  She moves her hand and Easy moves his hands to take one of mine and we walk off some. I look back and she’s still watching.

  We practically walk into Dennis and I introduce him to Easy and he looks at our hands joined like that and I think he’s a little surprised because I have never mentioned someone like Easy. But he is nice to Easy and they talk about the military because Dennis already knows Easy is the soldier who met me after school.

  And while they are talking I say I’ll be right back and off I go in search of Abigail May.

  I can’t find her anywhere. Normally she is dancing right in front of the band but she isn’t there. I get stopped by some older girls and they ask about Easy.

  I know them but normally they do not give me the time of day. They play in sports, field hockey and volleyball and basketball and they date the boys that do the same.

  “Is he your boyfriend,” the biggest one, Rita asks me. She pretty well runs eleventh grade and she’s the best in sports. Boys are afraid to go against her when we have co-ed gym. Ricky took her to a dance once and we teased him, yes the mean kind, and he said she was too bossy. But the ones in these groups are very involved in who one another dates. There are the approved girls for the approved boys. I know how it goes because it started the summer of seventh grade, the order, and I was barely aware, Abigail and me still working cases, mostly breaking the case of Aunt May and Father Anthony, occasionally dressing our Barbie’s and pretending we weren’t playing with them and loving it.